He'Brew Miraculous Jewbelation (8) - Shmaltz Brewing Company
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Ratings: 130 | Reviews: 99 | Display Reviews Only:
1.78/5 rDev -52.3%
From vertical gift pack.
Pours a dark garnett/brown body with a thin light brown head.
Scents of figs, dates, roasted malts. Fairly weak.
Palate is not pleasing at all very messy tastes of alcohol, fermented grain, slight roastyness, and some hints of off dark fruits. Some off grain alcohol notes just linger on the palate.
Harsh and coarse carbonation with a thin viscosity.
My first instinct was to be too lax in rating this beer but after some serious contemplation, this is quite an awful beer. The brewing in this is hack at best. I've had better initial batches from home brewers. There are so many flaws between the off flavors and harsh carbonation and thin mouthfeel. I hope the box gets better.
01-02-2011 21:45:53 | More by UA8
2.35/5 rDev -37%
From the Vertical Jewbelation gift set.
A: Deep brown, little head, no lacing
S: Delicious sweet malts permeate. Maple syrup , toffee , coffee cake. Simpler smelling than many of the stronger beers int he series which I actually enjoy.
T: As good as it smells, the taste is tinny and soapy and pretty bad. It almost tastes like diet dr. pepper or something, not a good thing. Ends tasting watery and thin and sour. Unfortunately, this is the worst of the series.
M: As much as I find the taste unpleasant, the mouthfeel is decent.
D: Eh..I don't like how it tastes, I don't even want to finish my 12oz bottle of this. Awful drinkability here in my opinion. I just dumped the last 4 ounces or so down the drain, yikes.
I'm a big fan of this brewer and this series in general, however this is not a good beer. In fact, I think it is a terrible beer.
02-09-2011 04:05:30 | More by Avantyawn
2.42/5 rDev -35.1%
brown-black with orange around the edges. Thin tan head. Nice rings of lace, at least.
Raisins, toffee, currant jelly, sherry and port notes, whiskeyish, a touch of chocolate, but very much a fortified wine type aroma.
Tastes like Pedro Ximenez sherry mixed with stale coffee and cocoa powder. Tastes better than that sounds, but still not that great. Lots of oxidized flavors, very flat in taste. Medicinal bitterness at the end that feels disjointed.
Fairly thin in body, despite being slightly sticky. Low carbonation.
Bought the gift pack last year and held onto it to drink this year, and this is the first of the bottles that I've cracked. Good aroma, but falls pretty flat on the palate.
12-19-2011 02:31:23 | More by MrOH
2.48/5 rDev -33.5%
Odd. I had to smell this beer three times before I could really SMELL this beer. It poured well enough, but when I went to smell it, I got nothing. Even after a few sips from my snifter, I still barely get a beer smell.
The taste had a little more kick, but not much. The only thing I really get from it is a very slight alchohol kick near the end.
The mouthfeel is average at best, but it has a strange deep chest burn long after you've swallowed.
Doesn't really seem like a porter to me, but I'm not really sure exactly what it is. Odd.
12-09-2004 03:27:06 | More by Guinness4me
2.63/5 rDev -29.5%
This was a part of their recent Holiday pack.
This beer pours a medium bodied molasses brown in color with a watery lacing. The nose is very, very sweet. It wreaks of candied malts. The flavors are full of sugar, caramel, and watery sweet malt. This is no porter. It's syrupy sweet yet oddly really light in body. It's too sweet for the abv, the supposed style, and overall. I really don't like this one. It's just really strange.
02-19-2012 04:07:31 | More by aasher
2.9/5 rDev -22.3%
12oz. bottle from the 2011 Holiday Pack
(A)- Pours an almost black color with some reddish highlights. Some tan froth.
(S)- Some raisin in there. Otherwise its actually kind of a subdued smell.
(T)- A nice malty grain profile with some raisin dark fruits.
(M)- A nice carbonation level. A good mellowed balance with a basic porter feel.
(O)- Not bad for a porter; straightforward with no strings attached.
09-26-2012 14:08:56 | More by sweemzander
3/5 rDev -19.6%
1st bottle in vertical boxed set
A- cola colored pour with a half finger head that leaves very little lacing
S- licorice, baker's chocolate, and a faint plum. Malt dominated nose
T- tart dark fruit with licorice and a bitter chocolate. Not very balanced
M- light body with slightly high carbonation.
D- pushing myself to down my 6oz share of this bottle
01-28-2011 08:49:08 | More by imagese
3.13/5 rDev -16.1%
Pours a dark brown with a thick light tan head. Mild roasted malt nose. CO2 adds lightness. Rich, toasty malt with a nice coffee finish. Hops not too noticable. Great mouthfeel. Flavorful, coating, but not too heavy. Very nice. Very flavorful, but no distinctive character, IMO. A good beer to have on hand. Worth a try.
11-23-2004 18:19:45 | More by winomark
3.15/5 rDev -15.5%
From part of the Jewbelation Vertical gift pack. Pours out a deep dark brown with a rocky beige head that slowly settles to a creamy cap. Sticky lacing.
Some dry cocoa, but even more prominant sweet dark dried fruits, faint herbal spicy hops.
The flavour seems a bit indecisive. Dry bitter dark chocolate malt, with sweet dark dried fruits in the middle that would seem more at home in a Belgian Dubbel or Dark Strong Ale, finishing with sharp coffee and piercing herbal hops, the latter of which loiters on in the aftertaste. Coffee ground and bitter cocoa manage to overwhelm it eventually. This is an aftertaste with staying power, that's for sure.
Medium-bodied mouthfeel, quite light for the flavours within the beer, slick texture with low carbonation.
I won't argue about the style, as I think this is probably one of those beer experiments that colours outside the lines, which I'm cool with, although American Porter is still pretty broad. An Old Ale might encompass it a bit better. But the fact of the matter is that things just don't pull together in this beer. The flavour has some bold aspects to offer, but as a whole there is no harmony at any point, which greatly takes away from the experience. Rather than challenging me it just left me more confused.
01-01-2011 00:13:26 | More by IronDjinn
3.18/5 rDev -14.7%
Got this beer as a gift on my birthday, as part of the Vertical Jewbelation gift pack. Friend actually cellared the whole pack from when it came out, to when I got it in late February.(Thanks Skuter)
Poured from a 12oz bottle into a Bruery tulip glass.
A; The beer pours a dark and dense cola brown, with a light khaki tan head that rose a half inch, then settled to just a ring of bubbles.
S: Vanilla, caramel, herbal hops. I also get a bit of Rye bread, as well as oak soaked dark cherries.
T: Roasted malt, hop bitterness, cedar wood. Some caramel too, but it seems unbalanced it what it's supposed to be.
M: Medium and creamy, a little more carbonated then needed for the style for me, but it settled.
O: This is classified as a Porter? Had much more of a barley wine (and not a good one) smell, taste and feel to both me and my wife. Having had the later beers in the series before, namely 13 & 14, it seems Schmaltz got much better in these malt to hop ratio blends then this first offering. A bit disapointed in it, but, if I had the original, I would have aged it, and perhaps with time the flavors would blend together better, for me it was a bit of an odd concotion of flavors from the herbal hops, and the roasted caramel malts.
03-24-2011 18:11:12 | More by Retsinis
3.2/5 rDev -14.2%
This one pours a very dark color with a small head that has poor retention and leaves only traces of lacing on the glass. The aroma has some bready malts with some chocolate - very weak. The flavor is much the same, but it is way too thin for my tastes. There is a citrus character in the flavor that I didn't like at all. Overall, I'm not impressed with this one.
12-07-2004 17:55:59 | More by clvand0
3.2/5 rDev -14.2%
ok, so this is obviously an old bottle and not typically the type of beer that should keep this long and still be super good, but what the heck, the beer's retired so my review doesn't help or hurt it anyway. Just think of this as a review of what this beer might taste like if you found it now, as i did.
A dark beer with a tan head that fades pretty fast. Full, malty chocolate odor, smells sweet. tastes very malty and bitter, like of like old coffee grounds. muddled hops and over the top malt blends...thick, even grainy mouthfeel like dirty water. not super good to drink, but like i said, its old and tastes that way. I bet it was better 2 years ago.
10-20-2006 12:46:56 | More by aforbes10
3.25/5 rDev -12.9%
Pours a dark, cola-brown with a patchy ivory haze. Really nice aromas of brown sugar, chocolate, caramel, and roasted nuts. Sweet and malty. Taste is similarly malty and sweet, with chocolate, caramel, and some dark berry flavors. Mouthfeel is a bit thinner then I expected/hoped, probably medium-thin overall with a smooth body and moderate carbonation. Decent beer, but nothing memorable.
09-26-2012 03:20:50 | More by jsanford
3.28/5 rDev -12.1%
From the holiday gift pack.
Pours a thin non transaparent black with a trace of foam.
Very faint roasted malt smell.
Liking the flavor. Moderate roasty malt, green hops, raisin like fruit and cola notes.
Very flat and quite thin feeling.
I really like the taste of this brew, but the lack of body and carbonation wreck any chance of this being a good beer.
01-05-2011 01:08:38 | More by jera1350
3.3/5 rDev -11.5%
Re-brewed as part of the recent He'brew gift pack. Poured into the souvenir glass included as part of the package. Somewhat black, with a good brown head on top. Aromas of raisins, dark chocolate and plums. On the palate, medium bodied, somewhat porter-like, with flavors of raisins, prunes and other dark fruits, with an underlying citrus note and a bitter finish. Reminded me of Avery's New World Porter, similar to a black IPA, but not quite up to par.
11-01-2010 04:42:41 | More by emmasdad
3.38/5 rDev -9.4%
Enjoyed from a 12-ounce bottle included in the 14th anniversary variety pack. This is a re-brew of the first Jewbelation produced 7 years ago, made with eight different malts and hops.
Looks: unlit. The beer pours from the bottle a clear dark brown the color of coffee that coalesces in the glass to an obscurant ebony. It's capped with a fizzy head the color of oak about a finger in thickness that dissipates after just a few seconds, leaving behind some jagged spotty lacing.
Smells: dark chocolate, grapes, prune juice. Some toastiness, though the dark fruits reign here.
Tastes: raisiny. Sweet prunes and a light biscuity flavor pair with earthy hops. The alcohol burn is pretty hefty, affecting the flavor with notes of dark rum. A light acrid roastiness lingers on the sides of the tongue. Lighter than I expected for a brew with eight varieties of malts and hops.
Feels: prickly, with a medium carbonation. The soft, medium-light body is moderately fizzy as it moves about the mouth. The alcohol isn't hidden all that well, noticeable as a pretty hefty burn in the throat.
Drinks: disappointingly. have to admit I was expecting more from Jewbelation. I hope the following years, with their subsequent additions of malts and hops, make for more flavor and complexity.
11-22-2010 06:49:06 | More by Phelps
3.4/5 rDev -8.8%
Im not one for gimmicks but having read the reviews this beer looked promising based on the premise and the reviews submitted. The beer looked just like a cola dark brown and a thin head. The nose was tough to find despite swishing around and sticking my nose way deep into the glass - faint hints of maple and bitter chocolate. The beer has a nice balance of malt/hops but a precarious balance. The malt side is rich, thick and sweet with the hop side dry, astringent and also sweet.
11-29-2004 02:31:00 | More by lou91
3.4/5 rDev -8.8%
1 year aged bottle...
Appears a dark, hazy brown with scattered off white lacing.
Smell is of caramel malts, dark fruits, and a touch of spice.
Taste is of the same aromas with caramel and light hops standing out.
Mouthfeel is sweet and bitter with a light watery feel to to overall body.
01-27-2006 19:48:55 | More by weeare138
3.45/5 rDev -7.5%
Pours a deep brown with a short-lived tan head that left sparse lacework on the glass.
Aroma is sweet malts, fruity ale yeast, a tincture of alcohol in the back. At 8% this is a beer to respect.
Taste is sweet first then roasted malts and charcoal followed by some transient bittering hops then the alcohol comes in. A short astringent finish.
Mouthfeel is a tad thin for the gravity, some oily persistence on the palate and tongue.
As a porter this is a very drinkable bottle. Less kitsch and a little more effort and it could be a great one. I will keep my eye on this one. I love a good malty porter.
06-29-2005 03:25:17 | More by Citadel82
He'Brew Miraculous Jewbelation (8) from Shmaltz Brewing Company
84 out of 100 based on 130 ratings.