Coney Island Human Blockhead - Shmaltz Brewing Company
Displayed for educational use only; do not reuse.
Ratings: 270 | Reviews: 148 | Display Reviews Only:
1.98/5 rDev -45.9%
Got this back in September at Amity Wine & Spirits in New Haven CT for $5.99. No date or code noted. Glad I've had it sitting around for a while since other reviews suggest it might benefit from age. Served at 50F in a pint glass at the same temperature.
A: Clear deep ruby-orange brew with a fair amount of carbo floating lazily upward. Modest 1/2" of tan head settles to a thick single layer that hugs the glass a bit. Decent lace.
S: Sweet, burnt caramel, a bit of solvent-like fruitiness, cherry and/or strawberry. Very thick in the nose.
T: Solvent and EtOH heat up front. The sweet thickness tries to cover it up but doesn't quite succeed... the huge roaring peppery alcohol is barely tempered, let alone hidden. That's about all there is to it... peppery alcohol, semi-fruity solventy fusels, and a bit of burnt caramel.
M: Very thick and viscous, sticky sweet. The only thing that keeps it from being cloying is the solvent/ EtOH heat. I can feel serious EtOH vapors on my breath.
D: Good for getting bombed and that's about it... but there are tastier, much cheaper, and less disappointing ways of doing that. Not one to savor or analyze. Yesh, what a boozebomb trainwreck of a beer.
Yes I notice my review is way lower than the average, but I calls 'em like I sees 'em, and this is crap. D+ is what it gets.
02-18-2011 00:44:56 | More by BeerNinja007
2.1/5 rDev -42.6%
A: Poured a reddish/amber color, with a very thin head, and little lacing.
S: Big bouquet of sweetness...caramel apple, raisins, ginger, etc..in good abundance. Was intrigued to say the least to have a sip.
T: Ugh. Way too sweet, with a strong alcohol presence. The sweetness also (once again, for a Coney Island brew) gave way to sour at the finish. Different flavor sensation, but not in a good way.
M: Medium, creamy body, but no head or carbo.
D: One and done.
08-27-2009 01:23:28 | More by donniecuffs
2.2/5 rDev -39.9%
Bottle. Pours a clear amber-brown with a small off-white head. Aroma of super sweet malt and soda notes. Flavor is a combination of licorice, soda, raisins, sugar, and alcohol. Much too heavy and hot. How did the Coney Island brewers make this and decide it was fit for consumption? Drain pour...
03-10-2009 16:30:23 | More by LilBeerDoctor
2.25/5 rDev -38.5%
Aromas of light caramel and bready malt. Some extremely light earthy,citrusy and floral hop character is also apparent (to be honest I really can't pick one out over the others).
The taste is initially toasted malts with a fairly large amount of lingering caramel sweetness. There is something off here however. Many conflicting tastes I cannot pick out, it not alcohol, but this beer is just a mess. I'm not sure aging will help because it's not alcohol I detect, just a poorly balanced beer. Drain pour...
12-11-2010 15:26:20 | More by claspada
2.43/5 rDev -33.6%
Pours a hazy, translucent orange-red with a head you would expect from a hazy red-orange beer (they all seem to look the same when the beer is that colour). The smell is grainy and metallic, not good at all.
The taste is much better than the smell, but far from amazing. It's bitter. It seems that hops is probably where that astringent metallic smell came from. Too much hops. That's really my only problem with this beer. It's a problem I have with a lot of American crafts. They want to pour lots and lots of hops and types of beers that shouldn't have them. This is one of them. Keep your large hop quantities out of my doppelbock. It's supposed to be a sweet beer. I like my sweet beers, that's why I buy them. There's is no need to make this into a bitter beer. The hops are masking what otherwise could be interesting complexity. I think I'm detecting some earthy, malty, sweetness under there somewhere, but it's hard to detect through the hops. So, I'm missing out on half the fun of this beer. Some people mentioned that this beer was boozy and it's got some booziness, but I was honestly hoping for more at 10%. That's getting masked by the bitterness too, and I am disappointed.
08-03-2012 02:25:16 | More by ElCommodoro
2.7/5 rDev -26.2%
Poured from a 750ml bottle into a SA perfect pint.
Pours a reddish brown with a big fizzy tan head. Head recedes quickly but leaves some nice lacing. Scent is malty with some fruit notes and faint earthy hops. Taste is a definite malt bomb. Candied malts, faint hop flavors and somewhat cloying caramel notes. Definitely lots of alcohol, which I guess isn't too surprising as this clocks in at 10%. Medium bodied with an appropriate level of carbonation. Gotta be honest this is the first beer I have ever considered drain pouring. Can't really call it a mess, guess it's just not my thing.
12-31-2010 03:43:39 | More by alli4051
2.75/5 rDev -24.9%
It took me a moment to identify the 10% ABV on the label, and I'm puzzled about such a strong lager coming out of the bottle looking like a local amber or scotch style. It's dark for a lager and would be for an amber, but it's on the lighter side compared to browns--it is mostly translucent. Specific to lagers, it's the darkest I've encountered. The head is thin. Bubbles are mostly microscopic (i.e. a thin, whole layer), but a dozen or so big bubbles curiously hover around the glass sides. The bubbles are reminiscent of cultures in a petri dish. They help the beer look strong. Factor in the pale man in the top hat hammering a nail into his nose, and this beer looks kinda menacing.
Lot of malts in the nose. Maybe some pine cones. As I verge into the "what possibly am I smelling?" process, I consider peat. I don't know if there are actually swamps or anything like that up near Coney Island--maybe it's the Sarasota Springs I smell. Regardless, it smells like an earthy beer--not in an organic, pure way, but like a pile of mulch. The more I think about it, the more I think that's typical of an American Amber. Interestingly, the label just says "lager."
It tastes like an amber with double the usual amount of alcohol. The alcohol overwhelms even the malts. The warmth I get in the mouth and swallow is atypical of a lager. Often I figure that my smell detections are a shot in the dark, but my thoughts about peat moss are gaining confidence. It's like malty, alcohol-infused liquid mulch. As I keep sipping, the beer tries to grow on me (more moss and petri dish images). It's interesting, and I definitely like to credit that...but it's not really good. Maybe it's the alcohol, but it tastes most like a brown, then an amber, and lastly a lager. I guess an amber lager is what it is, but damn, it's strong. I also like to give credit for that. Nevertheless, if I went and sought out a bottle of lager, this would not align with expectations...and, unfortunately, it would err on the negative side of them.
Mouthfeel is warm (hello 10%), malty, and (as previously described) earthy. It's definitely unique, and I propose the best part of the beverage. Still, the alcohol in this amber lager has my mouth feeling barleywine. I like it, but, again, it's not what you're supposed ot get from a "lager."
The beer is too big for a 22oz bomber. Are lagers supposed to come in bombers? If so, should they be thick and heavy? If your answer is yes, then this is the beer for you. As I continue to scrutinize the label, I make note that it is a "tough as nails" lager. I guess that means it ain't exactly trying to be sessionable. Make what you will, but I'll set aside my second serving for later. This big beer packs an unexpected punch.
06-13-2009 18:22:08 | More by marvin213
2.85/5 rDev -22.1%
Why does it say tough as nails lager when this is a doppelbock? I usually enjoy all of Schmaltz beers, this one, I felt violated and cant shower it out.
Pours with a medium head that gives way to ring around the collar that not even wisk could get out. Whatever it was I think in this beer I see, would have rather seen a tootsie roll to me.
Smells like a strawberry shortcake doll with a drinking problem.
A little too hot to be enjoyed. Some malts shine through, mostly burning alcohol. A lot like a burnt hot cake in the ez bake oven.
If this beer were a pound puppy, it would be put to sleep.
05-07-2009 04:25:51 | More by Murchmac
2.88/5 rDev -21.3%
A: Thick muddy/cloudy red, poured with a healthy head, strong lasting lacing. It looks like it means business.
S: Apple, heavy booze, caramel
T: Hard booze, bitter, strong rich hops. Malty finish. It tastes a lot stronger than the stated 10% ABV on the bottle.
M: Good carbonation, thick, harsh
O: This one is a bit difficult to drink. It comes in a big bottle, so come prepared with someone to share it with. Sipping lager that feels like driving a nail into your head. Always fun!
09-09-2011 23:04:37 | More by bluHatter
2.93/5 rDev -19.9%
22 oz. bottle at refrigerator temperature poured into a snifter.
A - Pours a hazy, dark brown-red body with a robust, creamy, off-white head formation.
S - Lots of caramelly malt and brown sugar. Not much else going on, though. I find it to be a pretty boring malty-sweet nose.
T - More malt, but it just tastes sweet with. I can definitely pick up on the 10% ABV. Too one-sided and complex for such a big beer.
M - With such a robust malt structure, it's hard to think of any word besides "sticky" to describe this brew.
D - This is a drain pour for me, unfortunately. The malt structure would work with an ale, because the right yeasts could call forth subtle accents like fruit and floral notes. The lager yeasts seem to be too sparse for a beer this big. A big disappointment.
10-02-2009 02:50:10 | More by vrazionale
2.95/5 rDev -19.4%
Poured from a standard pressure-cap bomber into a pokal-like tumbler in high elevation Kalispell, Mont. Reviewed live.
A- Frothy lookin' mother. Four-finger light brown/cream head atop a ruby body. Dirty looking beer, not in a bad way. I've been drinking too many white-topped IPAs lately. Retention is middling with some spotty, fluffy lacing.
S- Caramel malts, definite notes of alcohol. Whiskey in character, but not lacking some dark fruits and other well-rounded notes. Trying to describe this beer is a little tough. Molasses, brown sugar. Sweet and boozy character. Well-rounded, nice aroma.
T- Booze bomb! Tastes like a shot of whiskey. Oh boy. Warm malts and a sickly sort of medicinal flavor as well. Not a fan of that. Fruits aren't as obvious here.
M- Thick and creamy feel. Dry, sticky finish.
O- Really lost me on the taste. The cough medicine doesn't do it for me. It brings the beer down majorly.
08-08-2013 22:58:18 | More by Murrhey
2.98/5 rDev -18.6%
22oz bottle courtesy of EBF 2012 into a Fullsteam pilsner glass.
Pours a light brown head with little retention. Beer is reddish copper. Minimal lacing but oily legs. Decent.
Nutty, brown sugar, some caramel. Subtle. Barely detectable. Not bad though.
Opens sweet. Brown sugar graininess. Nut shells. Toasted caramel. Toffee. Sweet finish and aftertaste. Pretty singular but very robust.
Medium to full bodied. Low carbonation. Oily and slick in the mouth. Goes down abrasive, bubbly. Lingering aftertaste. A bit too heavy for the style.
Decent beer but I don't need my doppelbock to be imperial in any way. Score takes a hit for the full body leading to a filling beer that is way to robust for the style.
04-22-2012 23:44:05 | More by SpeedwayJim
Coney Island Human Blockhead from Shmaltz Brewing Company
83 out of 100 based on 270 ratings.