He'Brew Jewbelation Bar Mitzvah (13)
Shmaltz Brewing Company

He'Brew Jewbelation Bar Mitzvah (13)He'Brew Jewbelation Bar Mitzvah (13)
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From:
Shmaltz Brewing Company
 
New York, United States
Style:
American Strong Ale
ABV:
13%
Score:
90
Avg:
4.05 | pDev: 11.11%
Reviews:
215
Ratings:
272
Status:
Retired
Rated:
Mar 09, 2024
Added:
Oct 18, 2009
Wants:
  14
Gots:
  25
No description / notes.
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Ratings by biegaman:
Photo of biegaman
Reviewed by biegaman from Canada (ON)

3.28/5  rDev -19%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 4 | feel: 2 | overall: 2
The beer's deep, deep brown tone is very shtarker, even its dark chestnut highlighting suggests a masculine tone. Despite the colour made apparent when holding it up to the light, no rays are allowed passage through the center of the beer; it is, for the most part, opaque. The head, like a good Jewish beer, wears its kippah and never takes it off.

The brewery doesn't advertise that this was bourbon-barrel aged - and we can only assume it wasn't, that wouldn't be kosher - but it sure as shabbat smells like it was! Get within five feet of it and you're hit hard by the scent of musty, harshly tannic oak and a quantity of alcohol that could sterilize an Olympic-sized swimming pool...

And even if - IF being the operative word - you're able to get beyond that all you're likely to encounter is an excessively potent bouquet that resembles the unique, but overly bold, notions of port-macerated figs and barrel-aged coffee. I'll admit it: this is too much for me and I find myself become nauseous just from the fumes.

The taste, fortunately, is slightly less of a kappora, albeit it still strikes me as a homebrewing experiment gone wrong. While the laundry list of 13 different malts and 13 different hops is far too great to list in its entirety here, that matters little because all that's tasted is the 13 percent (is that all?) alcohol. I swear there's steam coming out of my ears.

The flavours include some sort of fermented raisin juice, a bourbon-blended Christmas-style figgy pudding and a lot of ashy, harshly roasted and naturally spiced oak wood. I'm sure there's plenty of people out there floored (literally, as well as figuratively) by the beer's Imperial Stout-like complexity, but I can't get beyond its obnoxious potency.

There was definitely a time where I might have automatically assumed this beer was great just because its overwhelming strength and boldly distinctive character. Not anymore. I don't see this as "The Chosen Beer" but rather "The Undrinkable Beer". Perhaps if taken in shots but otherwise this is good for nothing but causing chaloshes.

Everything about this is meshugeh (who needs 13 malts or 13 hops or 13% alcohol?), it's a mieskite of a beer. Let us hope that He'Brew doesn't try to top this for their fourteenth anniversary! I've enjoyed all this brewery's beers to date (including the anniversary offerings) but I've found this one (even after aging) too intense and obnoxious.
Jul 07, 2010
More User Ratings:
Photo of Lexluthor33
Reviewed by Lexluthor33 from New York

4.06/5  rDev +0.2%
look: 4 | smell: 4.25 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4
Deep, dark brown with a small head and thin lace.
The aroma of coffee, light alcohol notes, mocha, malts - really good aroma.
Taste starts off mild with caramel sweetness, mocha chocolate, some good coffee.
Nice hops in flavor of this beer.
The feel was smooth, well balanced.
The alcohol was well hidden, but this is one boozy beer with a full body , medium carbonation with dry finish.
This kept me warm and too much of this gets you into trouble.
As scooter23 says, "no need for a sixer just get this ".
Mar 09, 2024
 
Rated: 4 by jak from North Carolina

Apr 23, 2020
 
Rated: 3.78 by RBorsato from Virginia

Jun 09, 2018
 
Rated: 4.75 by mattsucks from Ohio

Oct 28, 2016
 
Rated: 4 by DrBier from Pennsylvania

Jun 12, 2016
 
Rated: 4 by tclipse from Virginia

Jan 19, 2015
 
Rated: 4.33 by DemoniChris from Nebraska

Dec 22, 2014
 
Rated: 4.75 by Gator85 from Indiana

Dec 08, 2014
 
Rated: 3.75 by Hellpop65 from Kansas

Nov 29, 2014
Photo of pVCropley1
Reviewed by pVCropley1 from Georgia

4/5  rDev -1.2%
Finally decided to open this '09 while watching football. Poured it into a porter glass. Head was minimal. Five years ago the alcohol was just too obvious; coupled with Shmaltz's ritual of matching the malt to the year in question (13), it was too sweet for my palate. Still can't find the 13 hops. Alcohol has definitely mellowed and malt much less sweet.

Enjoyable slow drink. Nice coffee-like aftertaste. Not bitter.

Glad I waited five years. Sorry it was my last bottle.
Nov 28, 2014
 
Rated: 1 by Pao

Aug 30, 2014
 
Rated: 3.75 by malfunxion from New York

Aug 25, 2014
 
Rated: 4.25 by zestar from California

Aug 06, 2014
 
Rated: 3.75 by GClarkage from California

Jul 02, 2014
 
Rated: 4 by scott2269 from Ohio

Jun 15, 2014
 
Rated: 4 by M1A2 from Ohio

Jun 15, 2014
Photo of jdcollens
Reviewed by jdcollens from New York

4.04/5  rDev -0.2%
look: 4.25 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.25 | overall: 4
22oz bottle, purchased fresh in 2009. Drinking from a Duvel tulip. Thought I'd crack this and a 2010 Pumking to support the Rangers (my adopted Eastern team since I'm moving to NY in a few weeks... plus, the Kings beat my Hawks so I can't rightly support them). I stored this bad boy in a box in an interior closet. Ideally, I'd have kept it at about 65-70F, but I live in GA and that's just unreasonable, so it's been at 68-75.

A: Deep, dark brown with a creamy 1-finger head that fades a bit quickly. I'm surprised at the head - at 13% and aged for 5 years I didn't expect much of it.

S: Mostly a sweet malty smell, though there are some nice coffee/toffee scents as well. Maybe even some raisins. Some very mild ethyl booziness lingers.

T: Great malt sweetness. I remember drinking one of these fresh 5 years ago and thinking the boozy flavor overtook the milder, better flavors (I was somewhat of a newbie at the time and still noticed the booze). Now, the situation is reversed. The alcohol has mellowed a lot in the bottle over time and the malty sweetness is at the forefront now. Some coffee and toffee, but the roasted malts are the stars here. A very small amount of chocolate comes in on the back end.

M: Very viscous and silky. This is exactly what I was hoping for all along.

O: Oh, man. If you can find this one, 5 years out, do yourself a favor and locate it. I know some folks are tapping it in the Northeast every once in a while. Look for a Shmaltz tap takeover and get some of it. It holds up even better than the 2007 Black Ops I had last month.

I should note that, as I typed this up, the damn Kings came back from being down 4-2 to tie it up. Jerks.
Jun 08, 2014
 
Rated: 4 by MattPittsburgh from Pennsylvania

May 26, 2014
 
Rated: 3.75 by Axnjxn from North Carolina

May 14, 2014
He'Brew Jewbelation Bar Mitzvah (13) from Shmaltz Brewing Company
Beer rating: 90 out of 100 with 272 ratings