He'Brew Jewbelation Bar Mitzvah (13) - Shmaltz Brewing Company
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Ratings: 260 | Reviews: 213 | Display Reviews Only:
1.83/5 rDev -54.9%
No. Just... no. Had on tap at the Toronado SD.
Pour is a very deep, dark brown. Wasn't really sure what to expect from this, but it looks nice and thick, with a small off-white head that hangs on for dear life. Not bad. Unfortunately, this was the best part of this beer.
Smell... meh. Fruity. No trace of roast, coffee, darker malt, chocolate, anything that would identify this as an imperial stout. It's not horrible, I guess.
Taste: Not okay. Massive raisin, fig, and cherry sweetness. Holy crap is this sweet. I actually like sweet beers fine - English barleywines are some of my favorite beers. But this is sweeter than any barleywine I've ever had. Hell, this is sweeter and more out of balance than any beer I've ever had. This tastes more like a barleywine that someone dumped corn syrup and grenadine into. Fruity, sweet, and alcoholic - like a damned wine cooler. Ugh.
Mouthfeel is actually okay. Decently chewy, enough carbonation.
Drinkability: No. I had one glass that I struggled massively through. I finished it through sheer force of will. If it was at home, and in a bottle, I would have drainpoured the whole damn thing. Not a beer I will ever, ever revisit. I do not understand the ratings on this beer at all. The whole world is taking crazy pills.
Not recommended. Stay away.
12-13-2009 23:55:58 | More by davod23
2.3/5 rDev -43.3%
A: Pours a deep chestnut brown with a fluffy tan had that quickly settles.
S: Molasses and carmel, rum soaked fruit, raisins, plum, cinnamon, and lots of alcohol.
T: Roasted and chocholate malt, spiced rum, dark fruits, no hop flavor and little bitterness, overwhelming amount of alcohol overtakes all of the flavors.
M: Thick and chewy up front then the alcohol comes in very hot.
D: This beer is a hot mess, some nice flavors in this beer but the alcohol comes in and destroys the taste buds. I would like to taste this fter it has been aged for a few years.
01-23-2010 17:45:41 | More by DrinkingAleToday
2.7/5 rDev -33.5%
Thick brown body almost black complete with a thick creamy cap floating on top. Aroma’s are toffee, burnt coconut marshmallows, an almost soya sauce but not really, and some cheery. Man you could smell this stuff for hours and constantly pick up new stuff. Flavor wasn’t nearly as intense as I thought it would but it’s still pretty strong. Burnt sugar dominates with only a slight hint of the 13% but I’m sure the room will be spinning very soon. This beer is thick and chewy and has a slightly bitter coffee finish. Cherries plums and other flavours are all noticeable. Good beer, complex beer, but not a every day beer.
07-16-2011 07:10:21 | More by BlackWednesday
3.03/5 rDev -25.4%
22oz bottle into a snifter.
Poured a dark brown with a giant brown head. Smells very sugary sweet. Hard to pull specifics out of the sweetness. Taste is sickeningly sweet. Very thick and sticky, so sweet it is difficult to drink. Would be very pleasent if the sweetness were turned down a few notches. No hops to be found, a very one dimensional beer.
01-17-2010 19:00:16 | More by mondegreen
3.05/5 rDev -24.9%
A: This stuff is really dark. Looks like an RIS to me. Even has the milk chocolate head thing going on.
S: Don't know if it is slightly too cold but I am not smelling much of anything here. Definately no hops but maybe just a faint sweetness. Even if it should be a bit warmer I would expect a lot more in the nose than this. Honestly like it smells like nothingness. Being a heavy beer at 13% abv you would expect more. Giving it a 2 for at least being able to faintly pick something up.
T: Lets hope it at least tastes like something. Tastes mostly of hops and toffee. Definate sweetness to it but nothing really jumps out at me. This has to be the weakest Strong Ale I ever came across especially weighing in at 13% abv. It has a pleasant sweetness and you taste 0 alcohol in this.
M: Well it is very rich and creamy. This seems to be this best part of the beer so far.
D: Too high volume to session obviously. But it is pretty easy to drink.
Don't get me wrong. I like it well enough I just expected my senses to be bombarded. I do have to give it props for the abv to go virtually unnoticed. Just doesn't taste the way you would expect a strong ale to taste.
01-10-2010 03:27:37 | More by generalnotsew
3.05/5 rDev -24.9%
Pours a opaque black in color with massive 2 finger cream tan head that fades slowly an left a cream ring around the top; it looks like a coffee stout and was not what I expected to pour out of this bottle since it listed 13 malts and 13 hops I thought that it would look like a strong ale or DIPA. Leaves good lacing that clings to the glass and leaves walls of foam. A lot of bubbles race up too the top like a sparkling water or champagne, which looks odd since this coloring resembles a stout...a unique brew to gaze at.
Smells like coffee and bourbon mixed together, with molasses, syrup, cocoa, toffee, vanilla, flowers, sweet malt, wet bread, caramel, roasted grains, maybe some faint hops and then some alcohol peeking through. Again, not what I expected when I bought this bottle, and I'm glad I let it age for 6 months, but man this is one crazy ass beer in a shockingly good way. Pretty nice nose overall that's sweet and enjoyable, but lets you know the 13% knockout punch is coming. I like the unpredictable nature of this beer so far.
Tastes of bourbon and sweet malt up front, followed by burnt coffee, toffee, molasses, light syrup, vanilla, coffee beans, cocoa, rum, brown sugar, raisins, dark fruits like dates or plums, licorice or an after dinner drink like amaretto, and then some alcohol, I mean serious alcohol, and then more sweet and complex flavors...this beer is over the top in 13 different ways. It started out looking and smelling nice and complex, but the taste just keep whacking your palate with so much that it's a sensation overload. The beer tastes barrel aged and resembles a barleywine; with the 13 hops listed on the label I thought that it would have some nice hop flavor and perhaps some bitterness, but the bitterness is like a strong French roast coffee and while this might be labeled an ale I really can't grasp what it should be. This darts back and forth like a prize fighter jabbing your taste buds and then kicks you in the nuts with a rich, robust, dark flavor that just wipes out your tongue.
It's very complex, like a coffee stout, and then boom!, a napalm attack on your tongue. It's really weird and I don't know if I'm just tolerating the taste or enjoying it because the 13% is getting me drunk. This could be one of the most confusing beers ever...oy veh. There is a bitterness in the finish that leaves a coffee taste lingering.
Mouthfeel is creamy and smooth, with medium to light carbonation and a medium to heavy body that leans towards the heavy side.
Low drinkability, this is a sipper or bomber that should have been shared, but I took it on solo late on a Friday night. This beer kicked my ass and is warm, toasted and tasted like rum or bourbon as much as it tastes like beer in the end. I'm not sure what to make of it and glad that I tried it, but doubt that I would seek it out again.
09-11-2010 04:31:50 | More by CHickman
3.2/5 rDev -21.2%
A: pitch black, thin tan head, opaque, looks velvety
S: a huge dose of sweet malts, dark fruits, and a huge whiff of ethyl alcohol, little to no roasty character which I had hoped for
T: like the nose, a huge wallop of sweet malts, this one is cloyingly sweet and finishes extremely hot, notes of molasses and dark fruits
MF: syrupy, velvety, somewhat sticky
D: this one is far too hot and sweet for me to consider it drinkable, over all I was disappointed by this one. I love imperial stouts, but this one did not have any of the qualities that I appreciate in an imperial stout. Perhaps it just isn't one for me.
11-26-2009 02:33:59 | More by homebrew311
3.2/5 rDev -21.2%
Poured into tulip glass.
Appearance: Black in color, pours 1/2 finger of tan head, moderate lacing.
Smell: Malty, caramel, boozy, plums, figs, vanilla, brown sugar, hoppy.
Taste: Sweet, boozy, syrupy, brown sugar, vanilla, chocolate, oak, bourbon, hoppy.
Mouthfeel: Full bodied, good carbonation, boozy.
Overall: A decent beer, very boozy.
10-03-2011 15:42:43 | More by phichifiji00
3.25/5 rDev -20%
Love the Anniversary beers from Schmaltz. Served this slightly chilled, in a snifter, from a twenty-two ounce brown bottle.
Appearance: Jewbelation 13 pours out a deep, dark brown color. When held up to a light, it shows some rich ruby highlights. A thick, fluffy, tan head rose from the glass, the result of a somewhat hard pour. Decent head retention here. Each sip leaves thick rings of lace behind on the glass.
Smell: Big nose on the beer. Quite a bit of dark fruit; raisins, plum, fig, and some boozy cherry. Getting some quick chocolate aromas from beneath the fruit. Plenty of sweet smelling malt. Somewhat peppery and spicey. Lots of booze in the nose.
Taste: Big flavor as well! Again, raisins, plum, some cherry and a little pepper. Getting a bit of wood around the edges. Hops are minimal, but plenty of sweet malt. Hints of coffee and chocolate. Spicey and quite boozy. Finishes dry with a warming blast of alcohol. Pretty complex, but almost too sweet to enjoy.
Mouthfeel: Somewhat creamy, just about full bodied mouthfeel. Carbonation is on the lower side.
Drinkability: A tough one to drink for me. It's a good tasting beer but much too sweet. Wonder if a little age would do this any good...
01-16-2010 16:14:14 | More by jaxon53
3.25/5 rDev -20%
22oz bottle poured into a snifter.
Forgot that I had this beer which I picked up a while ago and finally got around to trying this evening. Pours a dark reddish brown with a very thin amount of head.
Smell is of alcohol, malt, and caramel however the alcohol vastly over powers the other scents.
Taste is a burning boozy alcohol. I get some chocolate/coffee on the after taste. I would have though this beer may have died down some after a few years, but that is not the case here.
12oz of this would have sufficed, but 22oz was a little hard to get down given the overly powerful booze scent and taste with this one.
03-27-2012 02:24:50 | More by duceswild
3.3/5 rDev -18.7%
The beer's deep, deep brown tone is very shtarker, even its dark chestnut highlighting suggests a masculine tone. Despite the colour made apparent when holding it up to the light, no rays are allowed passage through the center of the beer; it is, for the most part, opaque. The head, like a good Jewish beer, wears its kippah and never takes it off.
The brewery doesn't advertise that this was bourbon-barrel aged - and we can only assume it wasn't, that wouldn't be kosher - but it sure as shabbat smells like it was! Get within five feet of it and you're hit hard by the scent of musty, harshly tannic oak and a quantity of alcohol that could sterilize an Olympic-sized swimming pool...
And even if - IF being the operative word - you're able to get beyond that all you're likely to encounter is an excessively potent bouquet that resembles the unique, but overly bold, notions of port-macerated figs and barrel-aged coffee. I'll admit it: this is too much for me and I find myself become nauseous just from the fumes.
The taste, fortunately, is slightly less of a kappora, albeit it still strikes me as a homebrewing experiment gone wrong. While the laundry list of 13 different malts and 13 different hops is far too great to list in its entirety here, that matters little because all that's tasted is the 13 percent (is that all?) alcohol. I swear there's steam coming out of my ears.
The flavours include some sort of fermented raisin juice, a bourbon-blended Christmas-style figgy pudding and a lot of ashy, harshly roasted and naturally spiced oak wood. I'm sure there's plenty of people out there floored (literally, as well as figuratively) by the beer's Imperial Stout-like complexity, but I can't get beyond its obnoxious potency.
There was definitely a time where I might have automatically assumed this beer was great just because its overwhelming strength and boldly distinctive character. Not anymore. I don't see this as "The Chosen Beer" but rather "The Undrinkable Beer". Perhaps if taken in shots but otherwise this is good for nothing but causing chaloshes.
Everything about this is meshugeh (who needs 13 malts or 13 hops or 13% alcohol?), it's a mieskite of a beer. Let us hope that He'Brew doesn't try to top this for their fourteenth anniversary! I've enjoyed all this brewery's beers to date (including the anniversary offerings) but I've found this one (even after aging) too intense and obnoxious.
07-07-2010 01:33:54 | More by biegaman
3.35/5 rDev -17.5%
Looking forward to this after reading some positive reviews. I found out rather quickly though, 13 different hops and 13 different malts is just too much. 13% abv to boot, this one was a little messy. The appearance was a very nice sold crimson tinted black, but the head was nothing special and lace was nonexistent. Smell was complex offering bourbon, molasses and dark fruit but it was far from pungent or powerful. The taste was complex as well, more molasses, some dark fruit hidden but trying to creep in, caramelized brown sugars, woody oak notes and mild whiskey. But despite the array of flavors the taste was hurt by a poor mouthfeel, under carbonated in a bad way, syrupy and medium-thick-sounds kind of good right...it wasn't. Too much booze in the taste as well, took awhile to finish this one, may be better with more time on it.
04-30-2010 23:55:28 | More by natelocc787
3.38/5 rDev -16.7%
12oz. bottle from the 2011 Holiday Pack.
(A)- Pours a fairly dark brown, almost black color. Some tan froth.
(S)- A rich but deep malt profile with bits of raisin.
(T)- A good dense roasted grains component with raisin and molasses. Subtle bits of cocoa.
(M)- A good carbonation level and balance. A good roasted bit near the end. A smooth feel to it despite the hefty ABV.
(O)- Overall, a solid strong ale that is quite drinkable despite its strength.
09-26-2012 13:53:22 | More by sweemzander
3.38/5 rDev -16.7%
Pours very dark brown but not quite black. Tan head is enormous and leaves a lot of Belgian lace. Toffee & coffee on the nose. Licorice and a lot of alcohol on the palate are noticed, along with some of the rye spice that certainly comes through. Strange beer.
12-18-2009 02:38:55 | More by yemenmocha
3.4/5 rDev -16.3%
Pours very dark with moderate head. Aroma of caramel, coffee, perhaps licorice and roasted malt. Strong roasted malt, subtle licorice, and earthy hop flavors present. Decent mouthfeel with no off putting aftertaste. Overall pretty good beer and money well spent
11-22-2009 16:20:49 | More by bonk0076
3.45/5 rDev -15%
I had this on tap and this was my review:
I thought this beer had way too much dark fruit malt and also wasn't dark enough to be considered a double imperial stout. Also, what is double imperial? Isn't it one or the other? Anyway, this beer drank much more of a strong ale or a winter ale. A lot of dark fruit, malty aroma and not the kind of roastiness you would expect in a stout of any kind.
Color is dark brown but not black. Nose is very strong with fruit and alcohol, taste is similar to aroma. Too strong. That explains why i fell asleep at dinner a little later.
Now the beer is being called an American Strong Ale, which I still thing is wrong. It should be a strong dark belgian.
08-05-2010 22:30:42 | More by david18
3.48/5 rDev -14.3%
Congrats, Jewbelation -- you're finally a man! This 13th anniversary beer was poured from a 12-ounce bottle included in the 2010 variety pack, meaning it's a re-brew of the original beer.
I have to give it to this series of beers -- I don't know what it is, but the liquid is lent a creaminess that leads to a perfect pour every time. The syrupy liquid convenes in the glass with inky blackness, topped by a fuzzy half-finger head of dark tan that fizzles away to a wide, lingering ring.
In the nose: dark chocolate, raisins, plums, brandy, sweet black molasses. It's got a very similar aroma to 12, though with more malty sweetness.
The flavor begins with fruity brandy-soaked plums and raisins along with sweet molasses. After the swallow, roastier flavors show themselves: subtle toasted bread, dark chocolate, booze. A strong bitter roasted malt character grips the back sides of the tongue mightily.
The mouthfeel is a little feeble for me. The body's a shade under medium-light, smooth but just a bit watery, and the carbonation is a prickly medium-light. Doesn't feel right for a beer of this magnitude. The alcohol content, however, is handled well. The warmth traveling into my chest is powerful, but not 13 percent powerful.
13 is kind of a disappointment after 12. The addition of two more ingredients hasn't added anything; indeed, it seems to have detracted from the beer's complexity. Hopefully 14 can right the ship.
01-04-2011 07:01:03 | More by Phelps
3.48/5 rDev -14.3%
Lightly chilled bottle into a glass. Trying to clear out my cellar, I don't need a "vertical" of these beers.
A: Pours pitch brown in the glass with a light brown head that rises to about a finger. Retention is moderate. A few wisps of lacing down the glass.
S: Roasted dark fruits (plums, figs), some kind of chocolate. A general grain character. There is some booze here, but it's not as strong as I remember from the last time I had this beer (in early December). It's generally muddled in the nose, but pretty good.
T: Like the nose, it's all over the place. It has an interesting dark fruit (plums, figs, and cherry) and chocolate backbone that would probably do well if they were the dominant flavors. But they're not; there's brown sugar and a general sweetness, as well as pronounced roast. Some spicy graininess (rye?). Pretty hot in the finish. I couldn't pick out any hops at all. Dammit, I was promised 13 hops! WHERE DID THEY GO. I'm guessing they're just background character to prevent the beer from getting too sweet, as it doesn't feel especially cloying on the tongue. But it's already pretty sweet and roasty, and I'm a little worried about how well it will age.
M: Medium-full bodied. Grainy. Hot in the finish, although it's tolerable.
D: It's not bad; it's a pretty decent strong ale, actually. Kind of a mutant brown ale, and in that sense it's a terrific value. I'm not sure I'd point to this as a gold standard of the style, but it's a pretty good representation.
01-13-2010 09:29:45 | More by Arbitrator
3.48/5 rDev -14.3%
Very dark brown pout - decent bit of tan head - very little lacing.
Man this beer is CRAZY. 13 malts & 13 hops @ 13% abv... and you can certainly tell. I'd describe it as a bit of a hot mess right now and wish I would've given it more time in the cellar because I think that with some more age it could be great. As it is right now, its only good. Just too many aromas and flavors all battling it out, and the heat from the high ABV is quite prevalent. Strong roasted malty aroma, flavor is even more intense with a fizzy sort of carbonated feeling to it.
A bit of a sipper, due to the complexity and high abv, I'd drink this again, but just wish I had sat on it a bit longer...
08-21-2010 00:55:01 | More by thetomG
3.48/5 rDev -14.3%
22oz. bottle served in a snifter. Poured a deep black with some reddish hints. Tan head that quickly dissipates. Big boozy, fruity aroma with some caramelized sugar. Full bodied and rich. Roasted malt and black patent flavors. Plenty of heat from the alcohol. Decent amount of hop bitterness that balances the malt a little. This smooths out as it warms up a bit. Long dry finish of roasted malt.
I would like to try this with about a year (or more) of cellar time on it. I've been pretty impressed with some of the previous versions of this beer, but they may be reaching the end of the line with how far they can take it without devolving into a big, boozy mess.
11-21-2009 14:03:53 | More by homebrewhawk
3.5/5 rDev -13.8%
12oz bottle (vertical mix pack) poured into snifter on 03/16/2011.
Pours black topped by a mocha head. Dissipates quickly and leaves little in the way of lacing. Brown sugar, sweet malts, caramel, mollasses, roasted malt, vanilla, and booze in the nose. Taste follows suit but adds some honey notes, the sweetness really shows up. Some dark fruit and lots of alcohol round out the flavor profiles. This one has a thick, full body and low/medium carbonation. I liked it but didn't love it- alcohol notes are distracting and could use some age to mellow out.
04-11-2011 02:51:17 | More by gnemesis
He'Brew Jewbelation Bar Mitzvah (13) from Shmaltz Brewing Company
91 out of 100 based on 260 ratings.