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Art Of Dankness - Ritual Brewing Co.

Not Rated.
Art Of DanknessArt Of Dankness

Displayed for educational use only; do not reuse.
BA SCORE
86
very good

23 Ratings
THE BROS
-
no score

(send 'em beer!)
Ratings: 23
Reviews: 2
rAvg: 3.82
pDev: 18.85%
Wants: 0
Gots: 4 | FT: 0
Brewed by:
Ritual Brewing Co. visit their website
California, United States

Style | ABV
American Double / Imperial IPA |  9.20% ABV

Availability: Rotating

Notes/Commercial Description:
No notes at this time.

(Beer added by: Faction1913 on 04-25-2014)
Beer: Ratings & Reviews
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Ratings: 23 | Reviews: 2 | Display Reviews Only:
Reviews by the Alström Bros:

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look: 5 | smell: 5 | taste: 5 | feel: 5 | overall: 5

This week’s Faction 1913 Beer Review

The Art Of Dankness: Imperial IPA from Ritual Brewing Company located in Redlands California.

Do you wanna piss off your racist grandpa even more than you already have? Give him a fucking drink of your Art of Dankness and see how his Milwaukee’s Best tongue reacts. Wanna piss him off even more? Pour it into a fucking tulip glass, stick your pinky out and tell him the aromatics coming off in the nose are sublime and make you think of a forest thicket after a light sprinkle of rain with a unicorn pissing in the meadow. He’ll think you’re a fucking commy pinko who should have been hit more as a child.

Well you know what? Fuck him! He can think you’re a commie pinko all he wants because unless you roll into the brewery with five soft pretzels and two Garbage burritos coating your weak ass stomach, two pints of this Zeus Damned experimental hop brewed Frankenstein Double Imperial IPA and you’re three sheets to the wind popping weed burps and stumbling through some poor bastard’s garden wondering why your friends all hate you and left you half way down your block.

American IPA’s are all the rage these days. A lot of west coast breweries hitched their wagon to this shit and decided their clientele weren’t fucked up enough so they decided to make that shit stronger and bitter enough to rip the enamel off your pussy ass teeth.

So here’s the nuts and bolts of the Art of Dankness. This beast has an IBU (International Bittering Units for you stupid ass jocks who played the ookie-cookie instead of studying for your Chem 101 test in college) rating of 105. Let’s put it this way, your lame ass tongue can only comprehend 90 IBU’s. 90!!! That means you have to be some kind of alien fucking robot to even have the ability to understand what kind of bitter this beer is. Secondly, this beer pops in with an ABV of 9.2%. To give a comparison your racist grandpa’s beer was probably a -2.3%. No wonder that fucker could have a case of that shit and still be able to cuss you out and alienate your, “colored,” friends.

The nose on this beer is FANTASTIC. When the tulip is full it gives off a hoppy fresh scent that IPA drinkers will nod and say, “Yep, that’s a fucking IPA.” However, drink this beast half way down and it smells like Billy’s (your loser friend who will never amount to anything) bong. The movers and makers at Ritual knew what they were doing when they called this beast in a bottle, “Art of Dankness.” What’s more is the cheeky bastards at Ritual released it on 4/19, a day before the Stoner’s thanksgiving. You tongue-in-cheek bastards.

The malt in this beer is well balanced. For you penultimate beer geeks who know their shit, I have no clue what malts they used in the beer. However, there is ZERO alcohol burn and the entire beer, aside from the rudeness of the bitter drinks as smooth as a pale. What I do know is that they used around four hops and the emphasis is definitely on the nose which is why they probably named it, “Art of Dankness.” One of the hops is an experimental hop that doesn’t even have a fucking name and only a handful of breweries in Southern California who slayed a minotaur and talked backwards for two hours straight got it rumors are that Stone is another brewery who got it. I had a quick chat with the brewer and as far as I can tell this hop was used primarily in the late addition (Hops used in late addition give the beer it’s signature smell rather than the bittering).

Synopsis: If you are a fan of west coast style IPA’s then dive in head first. If you hate IPA’s then stay the hell away from this.

Pairs well with: Farting on your friend’s pet, wearing sandals with pants, garden stumbling, disturbing the peace and being drunk in the afternoon..

Faction1913, Apr 25, 2014
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Art Of Dankness from Ritual Brewing Co.
86 out of 100 based on 23 ratings.