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Carlton Cold - Carlton & United Breweries, Ltd.

Not Rated.
Carlton ColdCarlton Cold

Displayed for educational use only; do not reuse.
BA SCORE
49
awful

43 Ratings
THE BROS
-
no score

(send 'em beer!)
Ratings: 43
Reviews: 25
rAvg: 1.57
pDev: 27.39%
Wants: 2
Gots: 0 | FT: 0
Brewed by:
Carlton & United Breweries, Ltd. visit their website
Australia

Style | ABV
American Adjunct Lager |  4.90% ABV

Availability: Year-round

Notes/Commercial Description:
No notes at this time.

(Beer added by: brewdlyhooked13 on 02-24-2002)
View: Beers (36) |  Events
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Ratings: 43 | Reviews: 25 | Display Reviews Only:
Reviews by Finite:
Photo of Finite
Finite

Australia

1.53/5  rDev -2.5%
look: 2 | smell: 1.5 | taste: 1.5 | feel: 1.5 | overall: 1.5

Filtered and chilled to within an inch of its life. This beer presents little to no character whatsoever.

Smell is non existent aside from the usual dull malt and adjuncts tones we come to expect from a beer of this kind.

Taste is again artificial and the high carbonation makes for a truly rough drinking beer.

Serving type: on-tap

11-04-2010 06:07:19 | More by Finite
More User Reviews:
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NorCalAussie

California

2/5  rDev +27.4%

07-30-2014 15:39:59 | More by NorCalAussie
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dmorgan310

Panama

1.5/5  rDev -4.5%

07-29-2014 10:39:14 | More by dmorgan310
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mrjez

Japan

1.25/5  rDev -20.4%

07-27-2014 11:13:12 | More by mrjez
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BuddhaBrowett

Sweden

1.5/5  rDev -4.5%

07-05-2014 21:26:26 | More by BuddhaBrowett
Photo of WaynesWorld
WaynesWorld

Australia

1.1/5  rDev -29.9%
look: 3 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

Honestly and without hesitation I can say that I used to love this beer.
When it was considered a heavy, in the older style bottle and before the $5m relaunch.
It had the crisp yet satisfying appeal but now that Carlton have sucked the the living essence out the first beer I ever tried I will never be buying it again.

All I can say is good job to the dickhead who thought that that was a good idea.

Serving type: bottle

03-16-2014 08:09:10 | More by WaynesWorld
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spycow

Illinois

1.5/5  rDev -4.5%

03-15-2014 17:05:57 | More by spycow
Photo of piss-wreck44
piss-wreck44

Australia

1.25/5  rDev -20.4%
look: 3 | smell: 1.25 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1.5

this beers is crap when i open there is minimal fizz from the low carbonation in the beer its self. the aroma that comes out when first opened is putrid my fat chicks girlfriends shit smells and tastes and better than this and trust me i would know. give me a VB any day that shit is fucking holy water even better taken as a suppository.

Serving type: bottle

01-04-2014 05:58:36 | More by piss-wreck44
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djbx

Australia

1.5/5  rDev -4.5%

10-20-2013 05:34:32 | More by djbx
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colbster92

Pennsylvania

1.5/5  rDev -4.5%

09-29-2013 19:47:08 | More by colbster92
Photo of Olek4374
Olek4374

Alberta (Canada)

1.49/5  rDev -5.1%
look: 2.75 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1.5

This is the second of three Australian beers my store has brought in, and is surprisingly the most expensive one despite... on here anyway, looking like the worst. I had to go for it though. My store, to make any sort of decent margin, sells this catastrophe for 4 Canadian dollars per small 330ml bottle, making it by far the biggest rip off in the entire store. Nobody even gave it a chance as a $21 6-pack. I digress though.

The beer honestly looks pretty nice - it as a slightly darker shade of yellow than most adjunct lagers and has a copper-y colour to it that makes it resemble almost exactly the bottle of maple whiskey that is sitting on my table. Not bad on that front.

The smell is also not bad. It's got the standard adjunct smell, but it has some kind of deep, fruity smell that makes smelling it almost interesting and is not offensive, especially considering the beer vatriety. Smells good; looks good; what could go wrong?

Well, after the first sip, I very well knew what went wrong. The taste of this beer is just bad, bad, bad. It's a corny burst on the tongue with an explosion (no joke, it felt that way) of sour aftertaste. Going down the beer felt like straw... it was ROUGH, a term I don't even use much for heavy beers, but that is what was going on. 1's for taste and feel for sure - I can't even finish more than 5cm of the glass, it is just that putrid. Do not want.

Serving type: bottle

08-05-2013 00:50:16 | More by Olek4374
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magpieken

Australia

1.5/5  rDev -4.5%

04-11-2013 16:45:07 | More by magpieken
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harpus

Alabama

2/5  rDev +27.4%

03-28-2013 17:35:56 | More by harpus
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magnusdave

New York

1/5  rDev -36.3%

02-26-2013 01:55:43 | More by magnusdave
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avschmitt

Michigan

1.25/5  rDev -20.4%

11-14-2012 22:05:22 | More by avschmitt
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Jake321


1/5  rDev -36.3%

10-21-2012 01:22:55 | More by Jake321
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fionn13

Ireland

1.25/5  rDev -20.4%

06-04-2012 15:50:52 | More by fionn13
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Julian4077

Australia

2.5/5  rDev +59.2%

05-11-2012 10:30:58 | More by Julian4077
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BrazilianAussie

Brazil

2/5  rDev +27.4%

02-21-2012 17:16:48 | More by BrazilianAussie
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galluch

Ontario (Canada)

2/5  rDev +27.4%

01-17-2012 16:46:28 | More by galluch
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klipper

Michigan

2/5  rDev +27.4%

12-15-2011 00:37:58 | More by klipper
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kfourte

New York

3/5  rDev +91.1%

12-04-2011 09:36:43 | More by kfourte
Photo of dansmcd
dansmcd

Australia

1.45/5  rDev -7.6%
look: 1.5 | smell: 1.5 | taste: 1.5 | feel: 1 | overall: 1.5

Just a typical Aussie macro lager. Whilst the taste is not offensive and thankfully lacks the coin flavour that many others feature, it is just so plain and unimaginative that I couldn't commend it in any way other that to say it does not make me recoil. Basically water with a slight generic beer taste. OK for a knock-off beer after grafting on a stinking hot afternoon.

Serving type: bottle

08-15-2011 02:06:38 | More by dansmcd
Photo of aeolianshredhead
aeolianshredhead

Australia

1.02/5  rDev -35%
look: 1.5 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with this crap. Oh well, I payed a dollar fifty for this so I could satisfy my "curiosity" to find out whether this beer is as bad as I remember it.

A- For some reason, I poured this into my pilsner glass. Hell, I bet most drinkers of this wouldn't pour it at all. Looks like piss with dissolved chemicals on top that attempt to form a thin layer of head which dissolves instantaneously.

S- This smells like the result of blending a small amount of soap and a HUGE amount of water together. Unless my imagination is playing tricks on me, I can also detect a faint, bizarre metallic twinge which worries me a little. I do wonder EXACTLY what goes into this mass-produced bile.

T- Oh. My. GOD!! This actually tastes feral. The taste reminds me of water that has been left in a plastic bottle for a year- where the plastic has started to seep into the water. Hideously offensive, this is a true assault on the palate. Battery acid would be more appealing. What saddens me, is that there is no beer flavour of any kind at all. I tend to think that the label of "filtered" is refering to the ingredients themselves- that they have all been entirely 'filtered' out.

M- Insultingly watery and horrendously flat. I could have spent my dollar fifty on a bottle of water instead, hey, it would have tasted and felt the same. So disgusting that any chance this had of being somewhat refreshing is completely negated.

O- I utterly don't believe that people can label this atrocity 'beer' while keeping straight faces. This is to beer what Justin Bieber is to music: fake, mass-produced, weak and a disgrace. Yet despite all this trash talk about this *splutter* beer, I actually had a positive experience drinking this- it reminded me of precisely why I switched to craft beer in the first place. The people at CUB need to be jailed for fraud- or even better, shot on sight.

Serving type: bottle

08-09-2011 10:57:22 | More by aeolianshredhead
Photo of laituegonflable
laituegonflable

Australia

1.15/5  rDev -26.8%
look: 2 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 2 | overall: 1

Pours a pale, clear gold colour. Not a lot of fizz crawling up to a fluffy white head that consists of visible bubbles, sinking slowly and leaving a frankly unappealing trail of lace behind that looks more like soap sud residue than traces of residual malt. Pretty bland, unimpressed.

The smell combines all the bouquet of a chemical weapons plant with the organic undertones of a mass grave for holocaust victims. Seriously though, it's the bitter alkali aroma of chemically-induced beer flavouring with weak yet syrupy undertones of sucrose. Objectively speaking, it's appalling.

Taste is actually a bit of a nostalgic journey for me. While it wasn't Carlton Cold, it was Hahn Ice that gave me my first ever taste of beer when I was about eight years old. And, like that first encounter, this beer also makes me want to rush, gagging, for the bathroom before I'm sick all over my mother's linoleum floor. Front palate is virtually non-existent with maybe some light granules of insta-malt dissolved in water. Bitterness kicks in midway, all metallic and alkaline with that battery acid component and just the taste of the inside of Carlton's "big metal things" that they use to manufacture (not brew) this horrific liquid waste. It's not even worth noting any more, because it's so far gone that it's beyond the boundaries of meaningful human reproach.

There's a bit more body than I expected. Not a lot of fizz and leaves without a trace. Yep, mission accomplished, it's an empty beer, suitable for downing by the six-pack before your shotgun wedding to your own pregnant cousin.

If, as Benjamin Franklin is reported to have said, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy, then surely Carlton Cold is God's way of testing our faith. Unlike Job, I will not simply 'endure' this tribulation but rather take advantage of another of God's useful inventions, the sinkhole, and return this manifestation of His bounty to the bowels from whence he excreted it.

Serving type: bottle

06-08-2011 14:07:33 | More by laituegonflable
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Carlton Cold from Carlton & United Breweries, Ltd.
49 out of 100 based on 43 ratings.