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Totally Naked - New Glarus Brewing Company

Not Rated.
Totally NakedTotally Naked

Displayed for educational use only; do not reuse.
BA SCORE
83
good

896 Ratings
THE BROS
98
world-class

(view ratings)
Ratings: 896
Reviews: 272
rAvg: 3.67
pDev: 14.71%
Wants: 31
Gots: 72 | FT: 5
Brewed by:
New Glarus Brewing Company visit their website
Wisconsin, United States

Style | ABV
American Pale Lager |  4.25% ABV

Availability: Rotating

Notes/Commercial Description:
Pure and crisp this is a beer with nothing to hide. Wisconsin two-row barley malt ensures a mellow and smooth body. We imported Noble Hop varieties from Germany and the Czech Republic to ensure a fine mature aroma with no coarse bitterness.

(Beer added by: cokes on 09-24-2002)
Beer: Ratings & Reviews
Sort by:  Usefulness | Recent | High | Low | Top Raters | Read the Alström Bros Beer Reviews and Beer Ratings of Totally Naked Alström Bros
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Ratings: 896 | Reviews: 272 | Display Reviews Only:
Photo of mbrasi
1.8/5  rDev -51%
look: 3.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 1.5 | feel: 1.5 | overall: 1.5

Pours clear yellow golden with a light white head that dissipates fast. Very clear in glass I can actually see through this brew. I can't remember the last time I drank a beer that I could see through. It actually looks nice on first pour. Aroma is corn and some hops, not too unpleasant. Corn on the flavor, there is something promising in the flavor but it goes away fast..hops. Leaves that nasty watery grain finish in your mouth. I guess this is how a lager is supposed to taste though. Have to get ahold of one of those higher rated beers to know for sure. Not very carbonated and feels like slime in my throat. This is worse than drinking water because it has some flavor in it that I have to wash away using water. Drain pour.

mbrasi, Dec 21, 2008
Photo of ChainChompsky
2/5  rDev -45.5%

ChainChompsky, Jan 15, 2014
Photo of MillerMan16
2/5  rDev -45.5%

MillerMan16, Jul 15, 2014
Photo of bashiba
2.05/5  rDev -44.1%
look: 3 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2

This poured a macro like yellow with a fizzy white head.

The smell had a stale macro quality to it.

The flavor was a bit corny and flat with a light grassy hop finish, very much like a typical mass produced euro pils.

The mouthfeel was watery and thin.

Overall just not real good.

bashiba, Jun 01, 2009
Photo of Winter
2.1/5  rDev -42.8%
look: 3 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2

Poured a light golden color. White bubbly head thins but never completely disappears. Aroma is a big turn off, with a slighty pungent, unappealing scent. I coudn't really nail it down. Body is thin with a pleasant crispness. Hardly any after-taste, but something seemed oily. I would not buy this beer again and it's a shame because it's the first New Glarus beer to let me down. New Glarus has such a fine stable of flavorful beers, that Totally Naked leaves you Totally Unimpressed.

Winter, Nov 03, 2002
Photo of scaliasux
2.15/5  rDev -41.4%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 2

Appearance - Clear, light gold. Bubbly. Thin soapy, white head. Looks like a macrolager.

Smell - Very faint malt and yeast. Pretty hard to detect - even for style.

Taste - Light but rich (a little caramel?) sweet malt flavor. One note, don't really notice any hops. Flavor is more full, and better, than any of the macrobrews. Even so, this is a bit uninspired.

Mouthfeel - Pretty good for a lager. Full and more foamy than bubbly. Not as astringent as many lagers.

Drinkability - I love most of the stuff made by New Glarus. This beer, though, is totally unnecessary. I hope New Glarus sells this stuff to the general public by the truckload, but I don't think I'll be a frequent quaffer.

scaliasux, Aug 10, 2006
Photo of KCM
2.25/5  rDev -38.7%

KCM, Apr 11, 2012
Photo of Devilman
2.25/5  rDev -38.7%

Devilman, Apr 27, 2013
Photo of Huolis72
2.25/5  rDev -38.7%

Huolis72, Dec 22, 2013
Photo of dt_gbpackersfan
2.25/5  rDev -38.7%

dt_gbpackersfan, Feb 15, 2013
Photo of Arsenal04
2.38/5  rDev -35.1%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2

Pours light gold in a Pilsner glass with a very active body full of carbonation and a busy two finger, foamy head that dissipated completely four minutes after pour. Smell is mildly underwhelming, malt and lemon stand out amongst a background of grain - nothing that catches my attention or stands out so far. Taste is malt driven with an aftertaste that reminds me of Michelob Golden Light or any other American-made Lager - coats the throat in a way that makes me think back to nights gone by where I would have far too many beers for my own good. I had a feeling going into rating this beer that with my limited experience in the craft beer world that I would find too many similarities to the standard Lager beers found in the US. Nothing I would go rushing out to get again.

Arsenal04, Aug 14, 2009
Photo of turdinathor
2.4/5  rDev -34.6%
look: 2 | smell: 3 | taste: 2 | feel: 4 | overall: 2

Appearance: golden color, No head, bland appearance.

Smell: not a lot of smell, maybe a little fruit but generally weak.

Taste: Boring, watery, bland, bitter

Mouthfeel: crip clean mouthfeel , very smooth.

Overall: would just like to state that this beer tastes like overpriced miller light. Also reminds me of moon man with out the strong flavor. stay away unless you like boring beer.

turdinathor, Apr 22, 2011
Photo of Oxymoron
2.45/5  rDev -33.2%
look: 2.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 2

Co-ed Get Naked? Pours a mostly hazy off-lemony yellow color. Some darker highlights like a dirty blond. The head is light with a good pour left a nice head but did quickly dissipate. Although not completely, living a thin line around the edges.

The nose is overall light. Even for style there should be some grainy and malt hints, but really not much depth at all. There is a slight yeasty note but nothing off flavored. Do I smell DMS?

The taste is more definable then the nose. Pale malt flavor with some lighter grainy touches. A sweeter finish then an American lager but light for a blond. There is a spiciness that is light but reminds me of some peppery notes but could be the hops as there really is none that you can speak of. There is a off finish that reminds me of honey beers but the body is bigger so its off setting.

The body is not exactly big but definitely not crisp. The carbonation helps. Overall, rather simple. I know its easy to blame style but really this could be much better.

Oxymoron, Nov 08, 2007
Photo of lester619
2.48/5  rDev -32.4%
look: 2.5 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 4

Poured into a glass mug, pale yellow color about two inches of foam that doesn't last long. Not very impressive. Clean, grassy, somewhat bitter citrus smells. Not much to the smell. Not much to this beer at all really. I can't say I get this one. There's just not anything to it. I understand the concept, a summer thirst quencher that you keep ice cold and guzzle on a hot day. It does work for that purpose, but so does miller lite. And miller lite doesn't cost nine bucks a six pack. It's a little too much like water for something from a top-of-the-line brewery for the price.

lester619, Oct 15, 2009
Photo of UWBadgerFan4Life
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%

UWBadgerFan4Life, Oct 31, 2013
Photo of Phyl21ca
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%
look: 2.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2.5

Bottle courtesy of Monger: Poured a golden color beer with a big pure white bubbly head with minimal retention. Aroma of light sweet malt is quite weak with no noticeable hops. Taste is also dominated by sweet malt which at least is pure malt and not some kind of adjunct. Carbonation is medium with a nice body. I understand they wanted to brew something light but this is a bit too light – I suggest sticking to the Yokel if you want a refreshing lager.

Phyl21ca, Aug 15, 2007
Photo of omegaman
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%

omegaman, Feb 15, 2012
Photo of Hallertau
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%

Hallertau, May 18, 2013
Photo of Kasie
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%

Kasie, Dec 23, 2012
Photo of Jaywalsh20
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%

Jaywalsh20, Jul 27, 2014
Photo of Zachtheporter
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%

Zachtheporter, Mar 02, 2012
Photo of Triste
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%

Triste, Aug 08, 2014
Photo of ToddBeans
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%

ToddBeans, Jun 18, 2014
Photo of djrn2
2.5/5  rDev -31.9%

djrn2, Jan 09, 2012
Photo of Scrumtralecent
2.58/5  rDev -29.7%
look: 3 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 2.5

Poured from a bottle into a pilsner glass.

A - Light light yellow in color with very frothy, airy head. Quite transparent with carbonation bubbles rising upward from the bottom. Quite average.

S - Smell seems a little off to me and these are fresh. Slight hop in there but I have to search for it. Some barley and wheat, but maybe it's the fact that this smell reminds me of BMC products that is turning me off.

T - And...not much. I have to really dig deep to find slight hop, little barley. Very quick crisp taste, with no backend really to speak of.

M - Very light, though I think that was the intent of this one. Some sharp mouthfeel on the cheeks but that quickly fades.

O - This is a really light pilsner and I could see this being a session beer, or beer for a really hot day, but really I need more taste than this. More of really any ingredient. And at 4.25, it's going to take alot of these to get me totally naked.

Scrumtralecent, Jun 12, 2011
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Totally Naked from New Glarus Brewing Company
83 out of 100 based on 896 ratings.