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Totally Naked - New Glarus Brewing Company

Not Rated.
Totally NakedTotally Naked

Displayed for educational use only; do not reuse.
BA SCORE
83
good

854 Ratings
THE BROS
98
world-class

(view ratings)
Ratings: 854
Reviews: 268
rAvg: 3.66
pDev: 14.75%
Wants: 30
Gots: 58 | FT: 3
Brewed by:
New Glarus Brewing Company visit their website
Wisconsin, United States

Style | ABV
American Pale Lager |  4.25% ABV

Availability: Rotating

Notes/Commercial Description:
Pure and crisp this is a beer with nothing to hide. Wisconsin two-row barley malt ensures a mellow and smooth body. We imported Noble Hop varieties from Germany and the Czech Republic to ensure a fine mature aroma with no coarse bitterness.

(Beer added by: cokes on 09-24-2002)
Beer: Ratings & Reviews
Sort by:  Usefulness | Recent | High | Low | Top Raters | Read the Alström Bros Beer Reviews and Beer Ratings of Totally Naked Alström Bros
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Ratings: 854 | Reviews: 268 | Display Reviews Only:
Photo of Sammy
Sammy

Ontario (Canada)

3.05/5  rDev -16.7%

Bottle from Riley's in Madison. Fairly run-of-mill lager. Nothing against lagers, but this is passable in every respect, except for drinkability. A spot of taste, and a good amount of retained head. Average mouthfeel.More hop flavour would have helped.

09-18-2011 03:47:37 | More by Sammy
Photo of t0rin0
t0rin0

California

4/5  rDev +9.3%

11-23-2012 00:22:25 | More by t0rin0
Photo of djrn2
djrn2

New Jersey

2.5/5  rDev -31.7%

01-09-2012 20:51:29 | More by djrn2
Photo of Thorpe429
Thorpe429

Illinois

3.5/5  rDev -4.4%

Reviewed from notes.

Pours a moderate straw yellow color with a dollop of cream and a white head. Nose brings some light creamed corn and some mild sweetness plus grain. The taste is very light grain with a touch of sweetness. A bit of straw. Light body with good carbonation. Not a very terrific beer, but pretty damn good and drinkable for what it is.

10-29-2010 02:52:19 | More by Thorpe429
Photo of nmann08
nmann08

District of Columbia

3.75/5  rDev +2.5%

01-11-2013 01:49:49 | More by nmann08
Photo of BuckeyeNation
BuckeyeNation

Iowa

3.53/5  rDev -3.6%

"Big and I'm bad
And I want you to know
I hang around
Where the grass is greener
Totally naked, baby
Totally nude"

--Talking Heads


Sun-washed maize beneath a gorgeous crown of pure, bright, cumulus cloud white. This beer looks like summer. The head has a quality look, both immediately after its formation and as it descends. A lovely glass-scape of fragile Wisconsin lace is the capper on an attractive appearance.

This is exactly how an all-malt lager should smell, for better or for worse. It smells like fresh barley malt with very little in the way of accessory aromas. Totally naked is right. A few tasteful fashion accessories would have been nice though. Noble hops? Not very damn many. Points for style adherence (although I'm being generous).

I feel the same way about the flavor that I do about the nose. Sweet, simple, grain-like, absolutely unadorned. Oh well, at least the name and the label tell the drinker what to expect. I still don't appreciate much noble hoppiness. I guess it wouldn't be 'naked' if it had some sort of personality, would it? Sheesh.

The brewery might have taken this concept a bit too far ('what do you mean, it's a show about nothing?). If it wasn't for the moderate malt sweetness--and flaked maize, I'm betting--there wouldn't be anything at all for the taste buds to hang onto. I've said this more than once, but Totally Naked might be the single best crossover brew for BMC drinkers that I've ever tasted.

Like most such simply constructed beer, this one doesn't hold up all that well with warming. The flavor profile doesn't completely break down, but it does noticeably deteriorate as the mercury climbs. Well-chilled is undoubtedly the way to go. Who wants to see a fat naked body? TN's is neither chubby, nor slim, but is somewhere in that wide range called medium. Or mesomorphic if you prefer.

Even though I don't remember too much about Spotted Cow, I had Spotted Cow flashbacks while drinking this beer. They're both sweet and simple and probably fly off the shelves up there in the Badger State. Naked beer sounds like a good idea, but a trip to the hop haberdasher would spiff this one right up and would turn it into something that I might be inclined to buy again.

08-30-2006 20:17:02 | More by BuckeyeNation
Photo of mikesgroove
mikesgroove

South Carolina

3.5/5  rDev -4.4%

Grabbed this one as part of a new glarus package recently. Served cold and poured into a pint glass, this one was consumed with lunch on 12/26/2008.

The pour was decent with a straw yellow color. golden amber with a crystal clear look to it. A small head of maybe an inch rose up, but immediatly fell back down, leaving a naked top to it.

The aroma was light. Lots of light grain and bready malts abound here. Small light fruit notes and an overall light profile. Taste was more of the same, light grain, light fruits, small doses of grain. A crisp, clean, and refreshing profile. Very light feel with an almost non existently light feel. Super drinkable as this one went down without much of an issue at all.

Overall a very solid light beer without much in the way of distractions. I would have no issue sessioning this but would have liked a bit more depth to it.

12-26-2008 19:32:43 | More by mikesgroove
Photo of Phyl21ca
Phyl21ca

Quebec (Canada)

2.5/5  rDev -31.7%

Bottle courtesy of Monger: Poured a golden color beer with a big pure white bubbly head with minimal retention. Aroma of light sweet malt is quite weak with no noticeable hops. Taste is also dominated by sweet malt which at least is pure malt and not some kind of adjunct. Carbonation is medium with a nice body. I understand they wanted to brew something light but this is a bit too light – I suggest sticking to the Yokel if you want a refreshing lager.

08-15-2007 14:32:07 | More by Phyl21ca
Photo of womencantsail
womencantsail

California

3.98/5  rDev +8.7%

Thanks to Scott for this extra.

A: The pour is a clear light golden color with a finger's worth of white head that has excellent retention and thick, sticky lacing.

S: The nose is of grassy hops with some light, sweet malts. A bit of corn in there too, but not sickeningly sweet or "off" at all.

T: The flavor is biscuity and mildly sweet. Noble hops provide a subtle earthiness and a soft bitterness. Overall, this is quite crisp and refreshing.

M: The body is fairly light with a moderate but crisp carbonation.

D: I'm not sure what's with all the low scores for this beer. I found this to be a really nice lager that is crisp, clean, and easy to drink.

10-30-2010 23:08:40 | More by womencantsail
Photo of zestar
zestar

California

3.5/5  rDev -4.4%

05-05-2014 08:35:17 | More by zestar
Photo of spycow
spycow

Illinois

3.5/5  rDev -4.4%

03-10-2013 18:28:04 | More by spycow
Photo of ChainGangGuy
ChainGangGuy

Georgia

3.2/5  rDev -12.6%

Appearance: Pours a clear, light yellow body with a wispy white head.

Smell: Cereal grain aroma with slight grass and floral notes.

Taste: Lightly sweet pale malts with a faint hint of grain. Mild grassiness. Hint of flowers. A sprinkling of yeast. No real bitterness present. Finishes exceedingly clean.

Mouthfeel: Medium-thin body. Medium carbonation.

Drinkability: Not a bad beer by any means, but just a bit too light and a bit too thin for my tastes.

03-19-2008 18:53:49 | More by ChainGangGuy
Photo of kylehay2004
kylehay2004

Florida

3.78/5  rDev +3.3%

Clear light golden body with minimal head and lacing. Fairly strong pale malt, barely and grain base with cracker and light honey presence. Nice hop complexity with sweet corn, honey for flavor which is a lot less malty than the aroma forboded. Light body and moderate carbonation and crisp finish.

05-17-2013 00:15:26 | More by kylehay2004
Photo of Knapp85
Knapp85

Pennsylvania

3.9/5  rDev +6.6%

Poured out as a clear yellowish gold color. There was a good amount of bubbles rising to the top with a white head forming. The aroma is of some simple grains and a some light hops on the nose as well as a bit of yeast too. The taste of the beer is very light, pretty clean tasting, grains and a slight bitterness in the finish. The mouthfeel is crisp and sharp, finishes nicely. Overall it's a pretty standard lager, drinkable and pretty refreshing.

09-28-2012 15:32:14 | More by Knapp85
Photo of emerge077
emerge077

Illinois

3.63/5  rDev -0.8%

Vacation beer #8

High clarity amber, nice skim that remains for the duration of the glass. Clean and sweet malty aroma, nondescript and not much there. Simple and utilitarian.

Flavor is simple too, wet barley, mildly sweet. A table beer to wash down food, inoffensive and quaffable. Not the most creative beer from NG, but its quality as usual. Medium carbonation and light bodied. Pleasant mild bready aftertaste.

07-20-2010 02:08:06 | More by emerge077
Photo of zeff80
zeff80

Missouri

3.45/5  rDev -5.7%

A - Poured out a clear, golden/yellow color with a foamy, white, one-finger head. It left behind some lace.

S - It smelled of sweet grains with some floral an d citrus notes.

T - It tasted of sweet grains with a slight caramel malt taste.

M - It was crisp and sharp. A very light bodied beer.

D - This is a nice lager. One of the better ones brewed.

11-30-2008 01:36:51 | More by zeff80
Photo of NeroFiddled
NeroFiddled

Pennsylvania

3.7/5  rDev +1.1%

The label reads "This is beer at it's most basic." How true. It's a simple golden lager. But I can't fault Dan for doing it. He's got a business to run, and I'm sure that this is one of his best selling brands - look at the Spotted Cow! It's on tap all over in Wisconsin! Besides that, it's well-made, and really, not a bad beer at all, it's just simplistic. It's got a good malt flavor to it with a slightly honeyish edge, and some very nice lemony, grassy, and floral hops. And it's balanced, albeit it a little towards the sweet side. Sure it could have a little more hops in the aroma, but it is what it is; my only complaint is that the head retention and lacing should be better (and they could be, that all goes to brewing practice). So, although you won't find me drinking this or the Spotted Cow, I won't pass them by under certain conditions (free beer) or in certain situations (limited tap selection, backyard BBQ, etc).

10-16-2009 00:42:51 | More by NeroFiddled
Photo of nickfl
nickfl

Florida

3.51/5  rDev -4.1%

A - Pours with one finger of white foam on top of a clear, straw colored body. The head sticks around for a while and leaves nice lace on the glass.

S - Musty, herbal hop aroma with some grainy malt.

T - Clean, mild malt with light hop presence and little else.

M - Mdium body, moderate carbonation, and a well balanced finish.

D - Nicely done, it is very well balanced and drinkable.

05-17-2013 00:15:07 | More by nickfl
Photo of Jason
Jason

Massachusetts

4.4/5  rDev +20.2%

12oz brown bottle with no freshness date.

Color: Clear pale yellow.

Smell: Clean pale malt, subtle herbal hopping that is very floral.

Taste & Mouthfeel: Lager goodness, big smoothness with in the lighter body. Fresh cut hay, cleat maltiness throughout. Level hop bitterness, delicate floral hop flavor. Grainy finish what lands semi-dry.

Overall: Hell Yeah! I could quaff this beer back any day ... any time. A simple lager beer that just shows off enough yet keeps it simple and very drinkable.

08-08-2011 03:15:57 | More by Jason
Photo of Kegatron
Kegatron

Pennsylvania

3.63/5  rDev -0.8%

12 oz bottle into a pint glass.

Pours a crystal clear pale gold, with 2 fingers of brite-white colored foam. Retains with a thin, yet frothy layer that stays rich, leaving back a latticework of lace that hangs in heavy swathes down the sides of the glass. Classic Noble hop character comes out immediately in this, being floral and spicy, a bit citric, and a touch dry in the nose. This gives way to a bloom of doughy malt in the back. While not overly robust smelling, this certainly possessed a pleasant fresh pop to it.

The taste is lightly buttered toast, jazzed up with a gentle spicy bitternes, which lends the profile a bit more firmness than it otherwise would have had. Finishes fairly clean, with maybe just a touch of spice creeping in. The mouthfeel is naturally lighter bodied, with a crisp carbonation and an overall smooth and easy drinking feel to it.

You know, this is what it is for the style, but I can tell you that, that fresh Noble hop character really set this apart for me and got both the aroma and taste over the average hump. Light, tasty, and refreshing, I could easily spend a warm Wisconsin evening with a sixer of this.

08-19-2009 16:55:28 | More by Kegatron
Photo of jlindros
jlindros

Massachusetts

3.45/5  rDev -5.7%

My first New Glarus review, with many more to come, soon especially. THis one and many more thanks to levifunk. American Pale Lager, seems perfect for a nice hot summer night like tonight, especially watching the Red Sox game.

A: A fluffy pasty white 1.5 finger head rises up and slowly fades, reinforced by the many bubbles rising from the etch at the bottom of the glass. After cleaning the condensation on the sides of the glass I can see the crystal clear light yellow, (cleaning condensation again) slightly watery colored beer.

N: Some American lager aromas, some toasty and sweet syrupy malts, a slight almost skunked mass produced lager aroma that you would get from a BMC beer, but just slightly, with lots of agitation and warming I finally get some light pale hops, a little grassy and spicy.

T: Starts with lots of toasty malts. A nice toasty and somewhat sweet malty lager flavor, also a very slight BMC cheap lager flavor with that. Not sure what they did but it has a cheap lager flavor. Some crisp and light lager flavors, and a little juicy hop goodness. The hops add a little bitterness, with mostly grassy and slight spicy hop characteristic. Overall the flavor is somewhat bland as well, I mean it's hard to do a pale lager right, but this just doesn't excel in anything and has a little bit of some unpleasant flavors.

M: Medium to lighter body with lots of carbonation.

F: Slight bitterness, with some spicy and grassy hops again coming through first. Also again, that slight not so pleasant bitter BMC cheap lager flavor comes through on the finish, that just reminds me a lot of those bad Frat parties at college. A little lingering sweet malty lager taste late on the finish as it also seems to dry a bit.

This beer does well with the clear color, although a little too watery in color, the aroma is OK but has some off parts, the taste is really bland and adds more off flavors, then the mouth is pretty normal for the style with a nice crisp and light drinkability. On a hot summer day this would be a nice drink, but not the best lager around.

06-05-2010 01:47:28 | More by jlindros
Photo of jwc215
jwc215

Wisconsin

3.63/5  rDev -0.8%

Pours clear straw yellow to bright, light golden. The fluffy white head descends to a thin cover and leaves a thin sheet of lacing on the glass.

The smell is inoffensive. It is clean. Some sweet grain.

The taste is clean and crisp. Sweet grain is enough to balance most of the sweetness without adding much in the way of flavor. This light-bodied brew has a refreshing, clean semi-dry finish.

A basic American pale ale done well. A clean, refreshing lager is not always the easiest style to find from a brewery that is not a macro. It is bland, but refreshing and lacks any real flaws/detractors. Just an easy-drinking lager.

04-24-2014 19:09:07 | More by jwc215
Photo of XmnwildX12
XmnwildX12

Minnesota

3/5  rDev -18%

12-11-2013 01:12:17 | More by XmnwildX12
Photo of Gavage
Gavage

New Jersey

3.8/5  rDev +3.8%

Appearance: pours a clear golden yellow color with a one inch head that breaks apart quickly.

Smell: very little aroma is detectable here as only some sweetness lingers around.

Taste: mild malt profile with some green grapes, hint of lemon zest, and a mild bitterness. Very simple flavor profile here.

Mouthfeel: light-medium in body. Crisp at the start and finish with some dryness arriving late. Clean aftertaste.

Drinkability: this beer is as easy drinking as you can get with some decent flavor. You won't be blown away here, but this is one of those lighter beers that hit the spot when necessary.

11-25-2009 12:50:07 | More by Gavage
Photo of MarkyMOD
MarkyMOD

Colorado

3.5/5  rDev -4.4%

04-29-2012 00:57:17 | More by MarkyMOD
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Totally Naked from New Glarus Brewing Company
83 out of 100 based on 854 ratings.