Tooheys Red - Tooheys Brewing

Not Rated.
Tooheys RedTooheys Red

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BA SCORE
58
awful

24 Ratings
THE BROS
-
no score

(send 'em beer!)
Ratings: 24
Reviews: 13
rAvg: 1.92
pDev: 41.15%
Wants: 2
Gots: 0 | FT: 0
Brewed by:
Tooheys Brewing visit their website
Australia

Style | ABV
Euro Dark Lager |  4.50% ABV

Availability: Year-round

Notes/Commercial Description:
No notes at this time.

(Beer added by: brewdlyhooked13 on 06-04-2002)
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Beer: Ratings & Reviews
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Ratings: 24 | Reviews: 13 | Display Reviews Only:
Photo of SmashPants
2.04/5  rDev +6.3%
look: 3 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 1.75 | feel: 2 | overall: 2

Format: returning to this beer for the first time in years, as I have decided to try every beer I can find (whether I want to or not). A tacky macro 375mL can with that "look how great my dodgy 70's label that I never bothered to update" label.

Appearance: looks better than I remember - light yellow with chunky macro carbonation sprinting up the glass. A thin head with good retention.

Aroma: the main issue here is that there is virtually no aroma at all. The slightest cheap grain and off metal from the can / carbonation.

Taste: ah. It's all coming back to me now. Very light cheap grain, that off metallic fug and a really unfortunate chemical taste of some kind. That's the disaster I remember. Fortunately it is actually quite a soft flavour.

Aftertaste: what little there is drops away virtually instantly. You can tell what this was originally designed for - to be thrown back en masse without being too concerned with trifling aspects such as taste or quality.

Mouth feel: quite thin and a bit watery, with enough carbonation to make this somewhat refreshing in the same way that throwing back a can of water might be.

Overall: this is a very old-fashioned beer designed to quench the thirst of people that didn't really care what a beer tastes like. Or perhaps didn't want a beer to have taste, so they can drink it like water while working the farm on an incredibly hot Aussie summer day. Not sure, but it's pretty ordinary.

Photo of Stuckey_Stuckey
2.36/5  rDev +22.9%

Photo of probert
3/5  rDev +56.3%

Photo of schoon
3/5  rDev +56.3%

Photo of djbx
1.75/5  rDev -8.9%

Photo of Arsenal0328
3/5  rDev +56.3%

Photo of magpieken
3/5  rDev +56.3%

Photo of BILF
1.5/5  rDev -21.9%

Photo of magnusdave
2.25/5  rDev +17.2%

Photo of avschmitt
2/5  rDev +4.2%

Photo of mynicknamerocks
2.33/5  rDev +21.4%
look: 2 | smell: 1.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2 | overall: 3

This beer sure does cop some flak...

It's a beer that's more than the sum of its parts:

There is basically no odor, nothing exciting to look at, it's cheap, it's low ABV.... however...

On a hot day, this goes down a treat - it's easy to drink, the flavour is weak and the mouthfeel is watery - just what's needed sometimes. A completely inoffensive beer.

The flavour profile is a slightly sweet grain up front and a mild hop bitterness on the finish - all in all, a well balanced brew. Very little aftertaste.

As I crack another can on this warm Melbourne I feel pleased, pleased to enjoy something that is a very honest, no bullshit, macro lager - but it is, by all means, a macro lager.

Walk in to your local bottle shop and pick up a cube of this for next to nothing - it's great on a stinking hot day when you need something refreshing, light and don't need to think about too much. Goes well with cheap snags in white bread and mowing the lawn.

Photo of Julian4077
1.5/5  rDev -21.9%

Photo of ygtbsm94
1.5/5  rDev -21.9%

Photo of SpruceMoose
1.08/5  rDev -43.8%
look: 1.5 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1.5 | overall: 1

Back in my youthful days, I was often eager to grab a 30 can block of this with my mates before heading to a party for a long evening of sessional drinking. It was cheap ($31 AUD for 30 cans) and served its purpose as a cheap alcohol delivery system. Reminiscing over my childhood days, I decided to try a can of this to experience a blast from the past and bring back those blissful memories of drinking as a teenager. However, I didn't expect to disgrace my tastebuds and wretch my stomach in the process.

A: An aggressive pour leaves the beer with a head of approximately one finger, which doesn't want to stick around for very long - after 20 seconds it's gone, and you wouldn't even know it existed, as lacing seems to be nonexistent in this brew. the actual beer itself looks almost completely translucent when held up to the light, giving it a typical appearance of several Aussie macro lagers.

S: Smell? You'd think it'd have one. I literally had to sniff until my nostrils caved in to get even the tiniest whiff of aroma from this beer, which eventually turns out to contain an offensive smell of stale hops and metallic odours - possibly a byproduct of the can sitting on the bottle shop's shelf for a few dozen light years.

T: Dearest Mary Mother of God, this tastes atrocious. A fierce taste of long-stale hops grinds the tastebuds and is further insulted by a watery aftertaste. A peculiar thing about this beer is that the hops and the barley can be tasted almost seperately. It is as if the brewery hastily tossed all of the ingredients together and quickly sealed it in a can. A complete lack of anything that could resemble a body leaves an inconsistent taste which, coupled with the painful bitterness of stale hops, gives this beer a truly appalling taste.

M: Nothing much to say here - the watery aftertaste leaves the mouth pondering over whether it just had beer or soda water in it.

O: After tasting this macro again, I look back on my younger days in disgust and scorn. There's a very good reason why cases of this gather dust in bottle shop shelves and are sold at ridiculously low prices, and that is because nobody has the temerity or the low standards to dare drink it. Avoid this beer at all costs!

Photo of heygeebee
1.15/5  rDev -40.1%
look: 2 | smell: 1.5 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

This is

The Worst Beer I Ever Had.

Many years ago, as in BC - Before Craft, I had two weeks in England, sampling the finer ales on offer, and enjoying.

I returned to Aus, and had some of these left in the fridge, part of a case I had, bought as I had no money at the time and this was always the cheapest beer on the shelf. I had one and vowed never to drink it again.

Until one of my son's friends had one. I tried a little. The industrial cleaning chemicals added after the brewing have not changed over the years.

Once again....

I vow never to drink again.

Photo of laituegonflable
1.33/5  rDev -30.7%
look: 3.5 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 2

Beer from a can - how bogan of me.

Pours a standard, slightly pale golden with nice dense white head, medium thickness, disperses a bit leaving a thin cushion. Fed by steady carbonation coming from about six isolated sources at the base of the stenge. Not bad, seems an appropriate appearance.

Smell? Apparently there is one. Well, there should be, it's beer. Hmmmm...

A lot of effort and I daresay some imagination gets me a pilsener-esque malt kind of smell and maybe some hint of Pride of Ringworm. But this is the imagination of some weird offspring of Lewis Carroll and Hayao Miyazaki talking. There is absolutely nothing there, really. Just a void where aroma should be.

Very uneventful, short and simple palate. If my life were as interesting as this I'd look forward to the exciting pain and torture of hell. Starts off bland, finishes bready and bland. Seriously, I would love to give an in-depth analysis of the malt profile, the intricacies of the bitterness and the beer's complex vicissitudes, but it would be comparable to going deep sea diving in a bathtub. With no water in it.

There is the slightest, slightest whisper of some caramel malt on the front and mid palate (and that is ALL there is), and then once it reaches the back of my mouth for swallowing it gives me that bread yeast character from a blend, maybe of POW and some cheap adjunct. But even the nastiness of this beer is weak and practically unnoticeable. That's not to say it's not nasty, it's just too piss-weak to make me retch.

Mouthfeel is as thin as a single cotton fibre, has absolutely no body. I guess all I can say about this is that it's drinkable, because even air has more toxins and more body than this. "Full Flavour" the logo says. My ass.

Photo of Macca
2.15/5  rDev +12%
look: 3 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 3 | overall: 2

It looks ok. Golden in colour with a centimetre or two of head which drops away to ok retention. Some lacing.

Strong grainy aromas but not a lot else.

Is there any flavours involved because I couldn't detect any. Bit of grain?

Mouthfeel is ok in that it is not unpleasant but...

As a cheap alcohol delivery device I understand it but it ain't a beer.

Photo of sterstar1
3.88/5  rDev +102.1%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.5

A great session brew. It's got a nice mouthfeel and has a really balanced flavour. I was a little turned off at first by the Bitter label but it wasn't too bitter att all. Definitely drinkable. I had this beer on tap in several pubs in NSW as well as Queensland. Those Aussies know how to do a macro right. Sure beats the heck out of our Macros here in the states. Cheers!

Photo of jarmby1711
1.9/5  rDev -1%
look: 2 | smell: 1.5 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2

Clear mid gold colour lacks any redness they may be expected.
The bead hangs around unlike the head.
It has the vaguest smell of insipid beer.
There is a distinct maltiness at first and you think , will there be more? Alas there is not It turns into blandness.
In the mouth the blandness comes to the fore It is neither good or bad , just indifferent.
Hard to think this would be a choice if other options are available, but I think it might be more drinkable than VB

Photo of AussieInPhilly
1/5  rDev -47.9%
look: 1 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

I can't tell you anything you don't already know. This beer is god-awful. The fact that they sell it so dirt-cheap and nobody buys it speaks for itself. The taste is of flat chemicals. If my beer fridge was right next to my couch, and all I had to do was reach over and grab one...I wouldn't bother, even on a hot summer's day. Catching one of your mates buying a case of this would be almost on par with catching him walking out of a gay bar. In fairness to anyone from NSW, I must say that Carlton Diamond remains the worst beer I've ever had, but this is close! Take it easy boys and girls.

Photo of Kulrak
1.25/5  rDev -34.9%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

I have to agree with the other reviewers on this, this 'beer' is awful. No head, chemical smell, chemical taste, and I actually got some weird floating flakes of stuff in it when I poured it, tho I can't be sure it was the beer. Was trying a new glass, which I washed thoroughly beforehand. They actually reminded me of the hot break flakes you get when you're boiling wort, but I've never actually seen it in a finished beer. *shrug* This was pretty disappointing being that my favorite commercial beer is Toohey's Old.

Photo of diablo14
1.1/5  rDev -42.7%
look: 1 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1.5

im only giving this more than a one because it does remind me of my younger days when this first came out in a 30 can block and i used to go thru plenty when my freeloading associates used to come over and clean me out. in that sense it got me out of spending a shitload on good beers that would have been wasted. casting pearls before swine they called it in the bible.

you wouldnt think tooheys could brew a worse full strength beer than their new, but by golly they have. its even more putrid than CUB's worst, which is possibly the biggest insult a brewery could be on the recieving end of. if it wasnt for carlton cold there'd be no doubt. theres nothing to commend this beer, not color, head. smell, flavor, drinkability. nothing. ive seen more appealing substances go down the toilet. in fact i reckon if you pissed into a glass after a good belgian ale it would taste better than this. and you wouldnt have to pay any extra to get that.

as i say it brings back the memories. some good, but when it comes to the beer itself, im ashamed to admit ive ever drank it, especially more than one!

Photo of Anonmatel
1.02/5  rDev -46.9%
look: 1.5 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

The other reviewers are 100% correct when they say this chemically induced crap isn't even worth the bother. It's pretty much the same as all the other Tooheys (i.e. Red, Blue, Gold, New).
Don't touch this stuff even if your stuck in the outback and have nothing to drink, your on your last breath. Remember Dying is an option rather than drinking Tooheys Red.

Photo of rastaman
1/5  rDev -47.9%
look: 1 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

Appartently there was a time when this was at least OK, i musn't have been around then, coz i have never ever had a good bottle, tastes like chemicals.

Tooheys Red from Tooheys Brewing
58 out of 100 based on 24 ratings.