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Tetley's Smoothflow - Carlsberg-Tetley Brewing Ltd

Not Rated.
Tetley's SmoothflowTetley's Smoothflow

Educational use only; do not reuse.
BA SCORE
75
okay

103 Ratings
THE BROS
-
no score

(send 'em beer!)
Ratings: 103
Reviews: 50
rAvg: 3.21
pDev: 17.45%
Wants: 2
Gots: 9 | FT: 0
Brewed by:
Carlsberg-Tetley Brewing Ltd visit their website
United Kingdom (England)

Style | ABV
English Bitter |  3.60% ABV

Availability: Year-round

Notes & Commercial Description:
Beer added by: SteveP on 10-31-2004

No notes at this time.
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Ratings: 103 | Reviews: 50 | Display Reviews Only:
Photo of djrn2
3.5/5  rDev +9%

Photo of acurtis
3.25/5  rDev +1.2%

Photo of metter98
3.31/5  rDev +3.1%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

A: The beer is clear yellowish amber in color and has an ever so slight amount of visible carbonation. It poured with a finger high creamy and dense off white head that has excellent retention properties and consistently left a short head covering the surface and a thick coating of bubbles running down the sides of the glass.
S: Very slight aromas of toasted malts are present in the nose.
T: The taste is similar to the smell but is a bit stronger and also has some notes of tea leaves and slight hints of bitterness.
M: It feels light-bodied and a little smooth and thin on the palate with a low to moderate amount of carbonation.
O: This beer is quite sessionable; I would have no problem drinking this beer all night long. The smell and taste could be a little stronger, but the mouthfeel from the nitro-can helps to keep things a little interesting.

Photo of ChainGangGuy
2.82/5  rDev -12.1%
look: 4.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3

440ml nitro-can - $2.79 at Total Wine & More in Kennesaw, Georgia.

Appearance: Pours a clear, amber-tan body with a tall, dense, creamy, off-white head.

Smell: This one smells like cold tea with a barley backing and lightly sweetened with table sugar.

Taste: Incredibly mild hint of gently toasted barley grain. Scantly nutty. Low sweetness. Herbal, earthy hops with very light, understated bitterness. Dry, soft finish.

Mouthfeel: Medium-thin body. Low carbonation, though a smooth body.

Overall: Tetley's Smoothflow tastes alot like chilled Tetley tea.

Photo of StonedTrippin
2.87/5  rDev -10.6%
look: 3.75 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.75 | feel: 2.75 | overall: 2.75

something of an oddity here, from the nitro can. pours at first like a disgusting milkshake, but makes a comeback into a bronze liquid littered with tiny yeast bits and a dense as anything nitro head just off white and unwavering. the nose is bitter and dry English malts, with some finishing hops and some metallic notes. the flavor is about the same, real bitter on the back end, and a really minerally finish, not particularly pleasant, but not downright brutal either. the longer I sit without taking another sip, the less and less I like the aftertaste, just not quite right. the feel is weird too, with the head being thick like taffy, and the body of the beer itself being much thinner, and way under carbonated after all the nitro juice is gone. this really was a let down, as I thought itd be like a boddingtons cream or something, but this is way inferior to those. in the end, I can get through a can okay, but this just isn't as good as it could be. the 3.6% abv is curious as well, not sure if its a pro or a con here, but that's inconsequential at this point. so-so at best.

Photo of biboergosum
3.51/5  rDev +9.3%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 3.5

500ml tall boy nitro can at a downtown Edmonton Indian restaurant, pre-delivery of naan, vindaloo, ya know, the goods.

With a tremendous crack of the can, this beer pours a clear, medium auburn colour, with a teeming tower of puffy, foamy, and, well, mostly just plain-ass creamy ecru head, which leaves a solid splatter of obfuscating snowbank lace around the glass as it lazily recedes, all in the expected sense of cascading nitro pours everywhere - booyah!

It smells of lightly doughy bready pale and caramel malt, a touch of over-steeped black tea, mild orchard fruit notes, and rather soft floral noble hops. The taste is softly biscuity, grainy, and bready pale malt, with some generic, and understated drupe fruitiness, and more understated earthy, floral hops.

The carbonation is quite low, and specifically innocuous, the body generally lightweight, certainly creamy, and very, very smooth. It finishes just off-dry, the languishing pale malt sort of hard to sympathize with, what with there being little in the way of challengers to the throne here, other than a bit of pithy chalkiness.

A nice, pleasant enough, and refreshing mild bitter - like those low-fat snacks that still taste good (huh?) - you just want to, and will, consume more of it. My only prior experience with this offering was an unexpected foray into the lunchtime wait line at a fish 'n chips shop in a working class area of my city. While me and me mates (one of them was an ex-pat, so, well, there) stood around, we were unexpectedly offered a pint to while the time away - and this was one of the very limited options. It kept us blissfully happy, is all I can say.

Photo of kojevergas
2.66/5  rDev -17.1%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2 | overall: 2.5

3.60% ABV confirmed. Can acquired in Ibiza, Spain and served into a Guinness pint glass. Reviewed from notes taken April 2011.

A: Pours a two finger head of lovely cream lacing with a nice bubble show, though not as good as the one seen when I reviewed this beer on draught. Head is of decent thickness and retention. Colour is a gold-copper.

Sm: Very light scent of cream and barley.

T: Creamy open. Cream and butterscotch body with lingering effects as the barley drives the finish. Balanced well for what it is but relatively simple. The finish is quite lovely, actually. Built somewhat atypically, but nicely. No alcohol or yeast comes through. I actually prefer this to the draught version.

Mf: Creamy, extremely smooth, and wet. It ought to be more dry to coax out the flavours, but that's the least of its problems.

Dr: It's marketed in Ibiza as an Irish beer, but this only serves to piss off those of us who live in Ireland. Serve cold; elsewise it suffers. It's expensive by Spanish standards, but it's alright. Very low ABV for the price and quality.

C-

Photo of BlackHaddock
2.96/5  rDev -7.8%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.75 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

Two half-pints in Blackfriers Theatre (Boston, Lincolnshire) before and at half-time during 'Sleeping Beauty' by The Vienna Festival Ballet on 31 Mar 2013.

Dark amber body with a full creamy head that stayed the distance on both halves. It looked pretty good to be honest.

Too cold to have an aroma at first, as it warmed a malty molasses and mixed dark fruits smell began to appear.

The taste took its time to arrive because of the coldness, but it turns out the beer is slightly malty and semi-sweet throughout. Fairly smooth in texture as the name suggests, although I think smoothbland rather than smoothflow would suit it more.

Photo of dbrauneis
3.71/5  rDev +15.6%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

A: Pours a crystal clear dark copper in color with minimal amounts of visible carbonation after the creamy cascade from the nitro-can pour. The beer has a finger tall creamy light beige head that has great retention properties (with minimal amounts of reduction in the head over the drinking of the beer) and leaves an almost finger thick layer covering the entire surface with a slightly thicker ring at the edges of the glass. Significant amounts of lacing are observed.

S: Overall this beer has a mild aroma with light notes of caramel and slight sweet malts along with minimal amounts of hops.

T: Like the smell of this beer, the taste is also quite mild but still enjoyable. There are light flavors of caramel malts with a light amount of sweetness upfront followed by a light amount of non-lingering bitterness (which is very mild and not aggressive).

M: Light bodied with light to moderate amounts of carbonation (nitro-nation?). Smooth and creamy.

O: Extremely easy to drink and very sessionable - you could literally drink this beer all day long with the low ABV and light body. A very mild flavor and aroma to this beer but still quite enjoyable.

Photo of woodychandler
3.96/5  rDev +23.4%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 4

You've probably heard the one about the guy who walks into a bar. No? He says, "Ouch!" Bro. Woody went to Ardmore last Saturday to see what he could see and walked into a bottle shop. He said, "Yay! Look at all of these new CANs in furtherance of The CANQuest (TM)!" It is called The Beer Shoppe in Ardmore Plaza and for those that do not live in PA, you have no idea what a rare bird it is to find a quality bottle shop, especially one that provided me with no less than five (5) new CANned beers on my first visit. This is one of those beers.

From the CAN: "Light English Ale"; "A uniquely smooth taste: For best results; Serve cold from the fridge, pull the tab, listen to the surge & pour down the side of the glass in one smooth movement."

The Crack immediately caused The Surge, a massive off-gassing of what I assume to be N2. It is always good to read directions and I followed theirs to the letter. I employed a gentle Glug, running the beer down the side of the tilted glass, where it began a beautiful cascade upon arrival at the bottom. I was left with a dense, thick finger of tawny head head with excellent retention. Color was a deep coppery-amber with NE-quality clarity. Nose had a pleasant biscuit malt quality. Mouthfeel was full and creamy thanks to the N2 presence. It was light in its flavor, a biscuit/cracker-like semi-sweetness, but still quite pleasant. Finish was likewise semi-sweet with the maltiness lingering well after the swallow. The low ABV makes it a sessionable CANdidate by even Ding's standards, but I am afraid that as a hophead, I would need more bitterness to sustain me.

Photo of lacqueredmouse
3.7/5  rDev +15.3%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.5

Served out of a wonderfully widgeted big English can.

Pinkish copper body, with a slightly pink-tinged dense creamy head. Good lacing sticks to the glass all the way down.

Good toasted, roasted malt aromas on the nose, with a light hint of fragrant citrus, which increases the flavour.

Creamy, rich coating palate. Roasted notes dominate the flavour, finishing dry and astringest, and ultimately refreshing.

A very drinkable and enjoyable brew.

Photo of biegaman
3.01/5  rDev -6.2%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 3

Tetley's Smooth Flow pours with both sound effects and spectacle. The nitro-can sounds a loud, cracking siren and then gears up for what appears a magic trick: thousands of tiny bubbles synchronized into dance, looping and dipping, swarming up the glass like a flock of starlings under attack. In biology this phenomena is known as 'allelomimesis'; in layperson terms it's called 'cool'. And it results in a bed of head that could literally serve as a bed!

The brilliantly copper beer looks maltier than it smells. It's slim-pickings for the olfactory bulb. Maybe it's that thick sponge atop that's preventing any aromas from leaking out, or maybe the people brewing this just don't want to shell out for decent ingredients, but whatever the case this aroma is lackluster, to put it politely. Aside from the water minerals and a hint of honeycomb toffee, it ain't got much going on.

Tastes of biscuits and toffee are frustratingly vague. It seems oxidized. There is a teaspoon of the most pasteurized, mass-produced honey on the market, but it fails to result in any kind of redeeming sweetness. The minerals are easily the most noted component; it tastes (somewhat distastefully) as if the last thing to pass over the tongue is a handful of old pennies.

If you need rain, plan a parade and then invite liquid nitrogen. In my experience, the silly little 'widget' is responsible for ruining everything from aroma to flavour to texture. This particular offering suffers foremost from a deterioration of texture; the mouthfeel is dry and stale like cardboard and leaves a soapy remnant. Both bitterness and sweetness alike are nullified.

Tetley's was once the embodiment of real ale. Now, it is nothing more than a damaging testimony to the state of beer in England. The fact that an ale so insipid and uninspired can be a top-ten selling brand does not speak highly of British palates. However, I will concede that, insofar as mass-produced beers go, one could do much worse. That is in no way an endorsement, but it is about the most positive thing I can say.

Photo of plaid75
3.41/5  rDev +6.2%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

On nitro at The Atlantic Chip Shop, Brooklyn, NYC.

Poured a medium copper hue with a two finger frothy white head. There was very god retention and good lacing.

The smell was mostly absent with a touch of caramel.

The taste was equally benign with a doughy malt and cleansing hop.

The mouthfeel was full on nitro.

Overall a decent nitro ale.

Photo of WoodBrew
3.29/5  rDev +2.5%
look: 4 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

Pours amber with a one inch off white head that lasts all the way down. Fair amount of lacings. Smell is grains and malt. Taste is malty with a fair amount of bitter hops. Mouthfeel is quite good. Creamy with minimal carbonation. Fair imitation of a pub pull. Drinkability is awesome. At 3.6%abv this is the original session pub ale.

Photo of wordemupg
3.15/5  rDev -1.9%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3.25 | taste: 3.25 | feel: 2 | overall: 3

440ml can poured into pint glass 26/2/13

A beautiful cascading head that ends up two fingers deep and stayed there for a while and leaves lots of lace deep down the glass, pretty much just one continuous ring of lace 5 inches wide. I know they cheated to make it look this good but hey what can I say it looks great

S caramels a little bread and cream with just a little fruit, pretty basic smells faint

T more of the same really, more biscuit and bread with heaps of caramel, again there's not really a whole lot going on

M medium bodied but it feels completely flat, the caramels linger on the finish

O pretty uneventful but drinkable, basic beer that I'd get board of way before I caught a buzz

looks great but I'm sure its all nitrogen, pretty tame without a whole lot of flavor and the feels a little lame, basic beer I wouldn't go looking for

Photo of spinrsx
3.81/5  rDev +18.7%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.5

500ml Can

Appearance - The beer pours a creamy amber colour with a large off white milky/frothy head. There is an average amount of carbonation and there is a ton of thick lacing on the sides of the glass. The head stuck around for several minutes before it dissipated. It really looked spectacular when I poured it out of the can.

Smell - pale malts, metallic, a grassiness, breads/grains, caramel

Taste & Mouth - There is a very low amount of carbonation on the tongue, but the beer feels exceptionally creamy. It has a nice mild malt/caramel flavour mixed light hops and breads/grains. There is also a slight metalicness and it might come across as moderately watery. The beer finishes with a mild hop/malt aftertaste.

Drink - The beer really has a fantastic look and is a nice easy drinker. I could easily session this beer all night long. Worth seeking out.

Photo of puboflyons
3.48/5  rDev +8.4%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3.5

From the 440 ml. can marked 15/09/12-05:33-B1316N2. Sampled on February 23, 2012. It is a nitro can so the head explodes into the pint glass and nearly engulfs the whole glass. Once it settles down it has the appearance of medium amber with fine clarity. The aroma is full of sugar-sweetened malts but little in the way of hops. The body is light like a 3.6% ABV beer should be. This has a decent bitter flavor with an accompanying smooth sweetness.

Photo of smithj4
3.25/5  rDev +1.2%

Photo of DmanGTR
3.5/5  rDev +9%

Photo of CrazyDavros
3.08/5  rDev -4%
look: 3 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

Typical nitro pour and head.
Nose shows honey and caramel, that’s about it. Very faint.
Similarly plain flavours, caramel and toffee, very little bitterness.
Watery body, needs much more carbonation.
Incredibly easy to drink, but pretty boring stuff!

Photo of mynie
2.15/5  rDev -33%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 2

Being a smooth operator, I figured this beer would be right up my alley. Golly, was I ever wrong!

It tastes like nitrogen and water. There is no expiry date, but I'm not familiar with any beer or beer-like ingredients that completely vanish after a beer expires. As it warms up, the tiniest bit of hop bitterness is present near the end, along with the big old woosh of nitrogen.

This is one of the least flavorful beers I've ever had, right up there with Coors light. This review is therefore sparse, as I just don't have all much to say. It's not awful, certainly, as being awful would require some flavor of some sort. It's just hardly even there.

Photo of jbaker67
3/5  rDev -6.5%

Photo of Stinger80OH
3.75/5  rDev +16.8%

Photo of Fatehunter
3.44/5  rDev +7.2%
look: 4.75 | smell: 3.25 | taste: 3.25 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.5

Poured a tight finger of head on a fairly clear copper colored body. Looks great with the bubbles coming up right after the pour.
The aroma is a caramel barnyard smell.
The taste is okay. Smooth with mild bitterness and a touch of caramel.
The texture is soft with low carbonation.
Between the low ABV, smooth taste and low carbonation this beer is too easy to drink.

Photo of jazzyjeff13
2.74/5  rDev -14.6%
look: 4 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

A 440ml can with a BB of June 2012. The guff on the side tells me to 'listen to the surge'....

Poured into a tulip pint glass. An orange-amber colour with minimal carbonation. Yields a thick head of creamy off-white foam with excellent stability; it forms a decent surface layer that refuses to budge. Aroma of mild caramel malt with a hint of fruitiness from the yeast. Not much going on.

Tastes of weak caramel malt with a dry finish. A hint of fruity ale yeast and faint stewed hops, along with cardboard and a slight staleness. Slightly sweet, with virtually no bitterness upon swallowing. Mouthfeel is smooth and full-bodied, but has an artificial quality that detracts from it. Slight aftertaste of fruity malt.

Not very good - doesn't live up to it's description as an English bitter. The mild aroma and flavour are bland and characterless. Looks the part and the mouthfeel is OK, but overall this is just dull. Another macro ale with a nitrogen gimick. Give it a miss.

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Tetley's Smoothflow from Carlsberg-Tetley Brewing Ltd
75 out of 100 based on 103 ratings.