Tetley's Smoothflow - Carlsberg-Tetley Brewing Ltd

Not Rated.
Tetley's SmoothflowTetley's Smoothflow

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BA SCORE
74
okay

102 Ratings
THE BROS
-
no score

(send 'em beer!)
Ratings: 102
Reviews: 49
rAvg: 3.2
pDev: 17.5%
Wants: 1
Gots: 9 | FT: 0
Brewed by:
Carlsberg-Tetley Brewing Ltd visit their website
United Kingdom (England)

Style | ABV
English Bitter |  3.60% ABV

Availability: Year-round

Notes/Commercial Description:
No notes at this time.

(Beer added by: SteveP on 10-31-2004)
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Ratings: 102 | Reviews: 49 | Display Reviews Only:
Photo of DmanGTR
3.5/5  rDev +9.4%

Photo of TheQuietMan22
3.26/5  rDev +1.9%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.25 | taste: 3.25 | feel: 3.25 | overall: 3.25

Serving type: 440 ml can. Printed on the bottom is “14/09/12 23:09,” which I assume was the canning date and time. There is no widget, thankfully.

Appearance: Poured into an imperial pint glass. The can opened with an angry gurgle and the beer poured like a light-colored nitro stout. The color is similar to sun tea. One finger cap of very dense and creamy head refused to dissipate. More power to it!

Smell: Like an English pale ale, though the aroma is on the lighter side. Grassy and earthy hops, pale malts, honey, sweet caramel, and lemon.

Taste: Smooth (of course) and creamy, but unspectacular. It mostly mirrors the smell, but the flavors are fairly diluted. It does, however, have a nice, earthy hop bite.

Drinkability: It is canned British ale. Tasty and decent, but nothing special. Enough said.

Photo of BILF
2.5/5  rDev -21.9%

Photo of mynie
2.15/5  rDev -32.8%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 2

Being a smooth operator, I figured this beer would be right up my alley. Golly, was I ever wrong!

It tastes like nitrogen and water. There is no expiry date, but I'm not familiar with any beer or beer-like ingredients that completely vanish after a beer expires. As it warms up, the tiniest bit of hop bitterness is present near the end, along with the big old woosh of nitrogen.

This is one of the least flavorful beers I've ever had, right up there with Coors light. This review is therefore sparse, as I just don't have all much to say. It's not awful, certainly, as being awful would require some flavor of some sort. It's just hardly even there.

Photo of Beerman1977
2/5  rDev -37.5%

Photo of HKUSPC40
3/5  rDev -6.3%

Photo of nico_freespirit
4/5  rDev +25%

Photo of kojevergas
2.63/5  rDev -17.8%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2 | overall: 2.5

3.60% ABV confirmed. Can acquired in Ibiza, Spain and served into a Guinness pint glass. Reviewed from notes taken April 2011.

A: Pours a two finger head of lovely cream lacing with a nice bubble show, though not as good as the one seen when I reviewed this beer on draught. Head is of decent thickness and retention. Colour is a gold-copper.

Sm: Very light scent of cream and barley.

T: Creamy open. Cream and butterscotch body with lingering effects as the barley drives the finish. Balanced well for what it is but relatively simple. The finish is quite lovely, actually. Built somewhat atypically, but nicely. No alcohol or yeast comes through. I actually prefer this to the draught version.

Mf: Creamy, extremely smooth, and wet. It ought to be more dry to coax out the flavours, but that's the least of its problems.

Dr: It's marketed in Ibiza as an Irish beer, but this only serves to piss off those of us who live in Ireland. Serve cold; elsewise it suffers. It's expensive by Spanish standards, but it's alright. Very low ABV for the price and quality.

C-

Photo of deldad
3.5/5  rDev +9.4%

Photo of metter98
3.3/5  rDev +3.1%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

A: The beer is clear yellowish amber in color and has an ever so slight amount of visible carbonation. It poured with a finger high creamy and dense off white head that has excellent retention properties and consistently left a short head covering the surface and a thick coating of bubbles running down the sides of the glass.
S: Very slight aromas of toasted malts are present in the nose.
T: The taste is similar to the smell but is a bit stronger and also has some notes of tea leaves and slight hints of bitterness.
M: It feels light-bodied and a little smooth and thin on the palate with a low to moderate amount of carbonation.
O: This beer is quite sessionable; I would have no problem drinking this beer all night long. The smell and taste could be a little stronger, but the mouthfeel from the nitro-can helps to keep things a little interesting.

Photo of biegaman
3/5  rDev -6.3%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 3

Tetley's Smooth Flow pours with both sound effects and spectacle. The nitro-can sounds a loud, cracking siren and then gears up for what appears a magic trick: thousands of tiny bubbles synchronized into dance, looping and dipping, swarming up the glass like a flock of starlings under attack. In biology this phenomena is known as 'allelomimesis'; in layperson terms it's called 'cool'. And it results in a bed of head that could literally serve as a bed!

The brilliantly copper beer looks maltier than it smells. It's slim-pickings for the olfactory bulb. Maybe it's that thick sponge atop that's preventing any aromas from leaking out, or maybe the people brewing this just don't want to shell out for decent ingredients, but whatever the case this aroma is lackluster, to put it politely. Aside from the water minerals and a hint of honeycomb toffee, it ain't got much going on.

Tastes of biscuits and toffee are frustratingly vague. It seems oxidized. There is a teaspoon of the most pasteurized, mass-produced honey on the market, but it fails to result in any kind of redeeming sweetness. The minerals are easily the most noted component; it tastes (somewhat distastefully) as if the last thing to pass over the tongue is a handful of old pennies.

If you need rain, plan a parade and then invite liquid nitrogen. In my experience, the silly little 'widget' is responsible for ruining everything from aroma to flavour to texture. This particular offering suffers foremost from a deterioration of texture; the mouthfeel is dry and stale like cardboard and leaves a soapy remnant. Both bitterness and sweetness alike are nullified.

Tetley's was once the embodiment of real ale. Now, it is nothing more than a damaging testimony to the state of beer in England. The fact that an ale so insipid and uninspired can be a top-ten selling brand does not speak highly of British palates. However, I will concede that, insofar as mass-produced beers go, one could do much worse. That is in no way an endorsement, but it is about the most positive thing I can say.

Photo of woodychandler
3.98/5  rDev +24.4%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 4

You've probably heard the one about the guy who walks into a bar. No? He says, "Ouch!" Bro. Woody went to Ardmore last Saturday to see what he could see and walked into a bottle shop. He said, "Yay! Look at all of these new CANs in furtherance of The CANQuest (TM)!" It is called The Beer Shoppe in Ardmore Plaza and for those that do not live in PA, you have no idea what a rare bird it is to find a quality bottle shop, especially one that provided me with no less than five (5) new CANned beers on my first visit. This is one of those beers.

From the CAN: "Light English Ale"; "A uniquely smooth taste: For best results; Serve cold from the fridge, pull the tab, listen to the surge & pour down the side of the glass in one smooth movement."

The Crack immediately caused The Surge, a massive off-gassing of what I assume to be N2. It is always good to read directions and I followed theirs to the letter. I employed a gentle Glug, running the beer down the side of the tilted glass, where it began a beautiful cascade upon arrival at the bottom. I was left with a dense, thick finger of tawny head head with excellent retention. Color was a deep coppery-amber with NE-quality clarity. Nose had a pleasant biscuit malt quality. Mouthfeel was full and creamy thanks to the N2 presence. It was light in its flavor, a biscuit/cracker-like semi-sweetness, but still quite pleasant. Finish was likewise semi-sweet with the maltiness lingering well after the swallow. The low ABV makes it a sessionable CANdidate by even Ding's standards, but I am afraid that as a hophead, I would need more bitterness to sustain me.

Photo of M_C_Hampton
3.5/5  rDev +9.4%

Photo of dbrauneis
3.7/5  rDev +15.6%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

A: Pours a crystal clear dark copper in color with minimal amounts of visible carbonation after the creamy cascade from the nitro-can pour. The beer has a finger tall creamy light beige head that has great retention properties (with minimal amounts of reduction in the head over the drinking of the beer) and leaves an almost finger thick layer covering the entire surface with a slightly thicker ring at the edges of the glass. Significant amounts of lacing are observed.

S: Overall this beer has a mild aroma with light notes of caramel and slight sweet malts along with minimal amounts of hops.

T: Like the smell of this beer, the taste is also quite mild but still enjoyable. There are light flavors of caramel malts with a light amount of sweetness upfront followed by a light amount of non-lingering bitterness (which is very mild and not aggressive).

M: Light bodied with light to moderate amounts of carbonation (nitro-nation?). Smooth and creamy.

O: Extremely easy to drink and very sessionable - you could literally drink this beer all day long with the low ABV and light body. A very mild flavor and aroma to this beer but still quite enjoyable.

Photo of ChainGangGuy
2.8/5  rDev -12.5%
look: 4.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3

440ml nitro-can - $2.79 at Total Wine & More in Kennesaw, Georgia.

Appearance: Pours a clear, amber-tan body with a tall, dense, creamy, off-white head.

Smell: This one smells like cold tea with a barley backing and lightly sweetened with table sugar.

Taste: Incredibly mild hint of gently toasted barley grain. Scantly nutty. Low sweetness. Herbal, earthy hops with very light, understated bitterness. Dry, soft finish.

Mouthfeel: Medium-thin body. Low carbonation, though a smooth body.

Overall: Tetley's Smoothflow tastes alot like chilled Tetley tea.

Photo of hosehead83
3.48/5  rDev +8.8%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.5

Poured from a "nitro-can" into a standard pint glass.
Clear copper in color. "Reverse" flow cascade effect leaves a nice head of creamy white foam.
Aroma-Faint malt and grain notes
Taste-Mineral malt, light and creamy. Very smooth and sessionable at only 3.6ABV.

Photo of jbaker67
3/5  rDev -6.3%

Photo of jazzyjeff13
2.73/5  rDev -14.7%
look: 4 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

A 440ml can with a BB of June 2012. The guff on the side tells me to 'listen to the surge'....

Poured into a tulip pint glass. An orange-amber colour with minimal carbonation. Yields a thick head of creamy off-white foam with excellent stability; it forms a decent surface layer that refuses to budge. Aroma of mild caramel malt with a hint of fruitiness from the yeast. Not much going on.

Tastes of weak caramel malt with a dry finish. A hint of fruity ale yeast and faint stewed hops, along with cardboard and a slight staleness. Slightly sweet, with virtually no bitterness upon swallowing. Mouthfeel is smooth and full-bodied, but has an artificial quality that detracts from it. Slight aftertaste of fruity malt.

Not very good - doesn't live up to it's description as an English bitter. The mild aroma and flavour are bland and characterless. Looks the part and the mouthfeel is OK, but overall this is just dull. Another macro ale with a nitrogen gimick. Give it a miss.

Photo of wilfonzo
3.25/5  rDev +1.6%

Photo of ThinkAgain
3.5/5  rDev +9.4%

Photo of puboflyons
3.48/5  rDev +8.8%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3.5

From the 440 ml. can marked 15/09/12-05:33-B1316N2. Sampled on February 23, 2012. It is a nitro can so the head explodes into the pint glass and nearly engulfs the whole glass. Once it settles down it has the appearance of medium amber with fine clarity. The aroma is full of sugar-sweetened malts but little in the way of hops. The body is light like a 3.6% ABV beer should be. This has a decent bitter flavor with an accompanying smooth sweetness.

Photo of Hoagie1973
3/5  rDev -6.3%

Photo of dansmcd
3.03/5  rDev -5.3%
look: 4.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 3 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3

A - One finger of tight dense creamy white head, perfectly cut, crowning the clear amber below. Great sheet lacing.

S - Very light notes of caramel, toffee malt.

T - As with the aroma, ridiculously faint flavours.

M - Creamy head with a water thin body below, low carbonation.

O - Mild English Bitter taken too far.

Photo of Rlombardi75
3.5/5  rDev +9.4%

Photo of Campodog
2/5  rDev -37.5%

Tetley's Smoothflow from Carlsberg-Tetley Brewing Ltd
74 out of 100 based on 102 ratings.