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Funny things kids say about beer.

Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by whendeathsleeps, Dec 24, 2012.

  1. Was at the gas station a while ago and my 3 year old daughter points at the Budweiser/Bud Light/Miller signs and says "Daddy it's bad beer, IT'S CORN BEER!" I was cracking up and proud all at once. Also she has brought me a beer and said "here Daddy you need this". And one other time she picked up a Dogfish Head cap brought it over and said "look Daddy it's Dogfish!"

    Have any of you had your kid or, any kid for that matter say something funny and beer related?
  2. time4lunch

    time4lunch Aficionado (230) New Hampshire Aug 10, 2012 Verified

    Yes sir, the little sweetheart looks at the can and say" daddy, are you ready for a heady" . Hilarious, and I cheers the chocolate milk!
  3. sleuthdog

    sleuthdog Advocate (695) Illinois Oct 21, 2008 Verified

    Well I can say my kids 11 & 7 always smell the beer I'm drinking, especially my 7 year old daughter. It has almost become a regular thing with her and I love the awful faces and the ugg sounds she makes as she sticks her nose in it. Priceless!!!
  4. When my daughter was in preschool everyone had to get up in front of the class and tell what their dads did for a living. She said her dad "drinks beer and plays golf". If only that were true.
  5. This didn't happen.
  6. valdieu2

    valdieu2 Savant (345) Maine Feb 23, 2012

    Hey dad, can I have the last Lunch? Its ok, he's 32.
  7. Huh?
  8. Not sure what you are saying "didn't happen". She picks up on my wife/friends and I talking about beer...
    Westyn likes this.
  9. Giving my kids each a little taste of Black Tuesday when I open it X-mas night if they want to try. My 13yr old knows about it, how rare and how much it means to me! I know she won't even like a sip, let alone the smell... but I wanna give them the option to try.
    Dirtyhands, MEW and whendeathsleeps like this.
  10. Dad! I like turtles…
  11. RochefortChris

    RochefortChris Champion (845) North Carolina Oct 2, 2012 Verified

    When I was a kid I said "I'll never drink beer, it's bad for you." Oh the stuff public school tried to shove down my throat.
  12. CBlack85

    CBlack85 Advocate (555) South Carolina Jul 12, 2009 Verified

    my 9 year old daughter likes to smell every beer I pour and hold the glass up to the light and try to guess what kind of beer it is. She is starting to be right more often than she is wrong...
  13. My 5 year old asked me how much I bench press
  14. Gregfalone

    Gregfalone Savant (375) California Sep 5, 2012 Verified

    Sitting in my living room NOT drinking beer my 9 year old son gets a weird look on his face and says "I smell bud light". My wife and I look at eachother and at the same time say "how do you know what bud light smells like?!!"...

    He's like bobby hill... That boy ain't right...
  15. planbee

    planbee Savant (415) North Carolina May 28, 2009 Verified

    Not really funny, just a sign of the times, but I have a teacher friend in Asheville who, on career day, had a 9-year-old say they wanted to be a brewer. Then she had to explain what that was to the other kids who didn't know what that was. Not sure if she got any calls from parents...heh.
  16. NWer

    NWer Advocate (720) Washington Mar 10, 2009 Verified

    I was asked to take my grandson, age 7, to his indoor soccer game. I'd been there before but while driving up I was unsure where to make my turn off of Willows Road to the Redmond Arena Sports Complex. Slowing down & looking around too soon, my grandson says "No Papa, it's PAST Black Raven"
    dleigh, JayWhitson, woemad and 2 others like this.
  17. 2beerdogs

    2beerdogs Poobah (1,060) California Jan 31, 2005 Verified

    My 4 yr old daughter calls it "beard." So when she says, "Daddy id that beard?" I can honestly say' "no, it's not beard." :p
    JayWhitson and Lantern like this.
  18. litheum94

    litheum94 Advocate (665) California Dec 29, 2008

    My daughter has offered me beer before. And earlier today we were looking through my beer collection for something to bring to my in-laws and she said "Daddy, you have too much beer!"

    In all seriousness, she has been as accommodating as a six year old can be in my beer drinking adventures.
    JayWhitson likes this.
  19. JuniperJesus

    JuniperJesus Savant (440) Illinois Feb 26, 2011

    Some teenagers in front of the package store said they'd give me $14 for a 12 pack of Corona and $6 for my troubles, $20 total. Kids say the darndest things. If I can't buy a 6 pack of a Lil' Sumpin Sumpin and a pack of Kools, I ain't buyin you shit.
    HorseheadsHopHead likes this.
  20. yemenmocha

    yemenmocha Poobah (1,245) Arizona Jun 18, 2002

    I hear Millennials say all sorts of silly things about beer frequently.
    SteveB24, gopens44 and mikeburd1128 like this.
  21. lurpy1

    lurpy1 Advocate (540) Minnesota Jan 15, 2010 Verified

    My son, now 12, dips a finger in each new beer I try and once in a crowded bar let me know his disappointment in my order of a porter because he prefers stouts. That resulted in a lot of funny looks from other customers but luckily no calls from Child Protection Services.
    steorn, LehighAce06, cjgiant and 7 others like this.
  22. Brunite

    Brunite Savant (430) Illinois Sep 21, 2009

    Thank goodness for those Catholic schools. They were giving us wine at every service.:confused:
  23. Hey I resemble that remark.
  24. jbsteiny

    jbsteiny Savant (340) Hawaii Jan 7, 2006

    I was in a BevMo around Thanksgiving and saw a guy with a shopping cart full of beer and his daughter who was probably about three or four. She spotted Green Flash IPA in an aisle lined with sixers and bombers from head to foot and said, "Look Daddy, your favorite! You should get that." He said, You're right, honey," and grabbed one. Then she said, "Daddy, you won't be able to fit all of this in the fridge. You should get more cans." I sincerely hope if/when I have kids that they're that cool.
  25. Wow. What a coincidence. We were at the opposite pump and my 3 year old overheard this, and said, "Pop, did you hear that? That poor little girl doesn't know that Bud and Bud Light are brewed with rice as the adjunct, not corn! What's this country's pre-school education coming to these anyway!"
  26. Rosty

    Rosty Aficionado (245) California Nov 29, 2006 Verified

    I was in Total Wine the other day with my wife and 20 month old. I was, of course, in the beer aisle, when i hear a little voice one aisle over yelling, "I got to get my beer! I got to get my beer!" Sure enough my wife was trying to catch my daughter as she ran down the aisle yelling this. People were staring, but I was just so proud. Baby's all grows up!
  27. hopsbreath

    hopsbreath Savant (485) Oregon Aug 28, 2009

    Furthering your case for BA of the year!
    rather likes this.
  28. Brunite

    Brunite Savant (430) Illinois Sep 21, 2009

    Within the last year, My 10 year-old daughter told me that she sensed that the 2012 Hopslam was a lot less fruity tasting than 2011 and that this years Celebration was missing some of the cinnamon from last year. Cinnamon? Crazy kid!
    lurpy1 likes this.
  29. Great thread. My son (4 yrs old) begs me to go to the liquior store. Each time we go, he says "Look dad" and starts pointing out and naming beers. "Look dad, Firestone Walker, Stone, Green Flash" and always my favorite, "Look dad, Old Rasputin!" He wows all the BA's, especially since he can't even read. He also has to "smell" every beer I open, and he add the hops to my boil kettle when brewing. Proud of that boy!
  30. 2beerdogs

    2beerdogs Poobah (1,060) California Jan 31, 2005 Verified

    Yeah, we gotta be careful what we say in front of our little ones. They never seem to mimic our more eloquent statements. (Although I like what your little one said) I remember driving along, when some jackass did something stupid and I let out a :mad:-> "God dammit." Not 5 seconds later, I hear my lil' 1 and 1/2 yr old daoughter, safely bundled in her carseat, looking so angelic, blurt out "God dammit." I was bummed, yet relieved. I had recently been working on not dropping the F-bomb while I'm driving.
  31. PoopChute69

    PoopChute69 Initiate (0) Poland Oct 24, 2012

    I really hope you said "more than you."
    Stagga_Lee and 2beerdogs like this.
  32. DaveHack

    DaveHack Advocate (625) Pennsylvania Mar 28, 2011 Verified

    My son Googled 'Heady Topper' and used the image feature...now when I call his cell (he's 12), a picture of the Heady logo comes up...NOT my picture.
  33. Chou

    Chou Aficionado (205) Oregon Apr 17, 2012

    A few years back I was a preschool teacher. It was my first year teaching. One day, the class was gathered in a circle and I led them in the jaunty tune "Down by the Bay." "(where the watermelons grow, back to to my home, I dare not go, for if I do, my mother will say..")

    Kids took turns naming things or animals to sing about, Someone suggested "deer." We began "Did you ever see a deer..." when a little girl, not skipping a beat, belted out "drinking a beer! Down by the bay!"

    I was then faced with either allowing the entire class to sing her verse, or stop the song and change it, thus deeming it inappropriate and taboo and a huge topic of conversation for the rest of the day...
    2beerdogs, JayWhitson, woemad and 2 others like this.
  34. Yeah, her mom was the one that told her "that beer has corn in it". I'm just glad she knows it as "bad beer"!
    otispdriftwood and 2beerdogs like this.
  35. Jfriz25

    Jfriz25 Savant (330) Wisconsin Jun 8, 2012 Verified

    I was supposed to be playing in the basement with my 2.5 year old but was really sitting in my cellar staring at the beers. (Pathetic I know, but don't pretend like you don't do it). Anyway, my wife yells down, "Evan, are you having fun playing with daddy?" He responds in a cute 2.5 year old voice "No daddy lookin at his buur"
  36. CraftFan5

    CraftFan5 Advocate (685) New York May 14, 2013 Verified

    Have any of your children amazed you by saying something funny and/or wise about beer?

    For instance, I was visiting my in-laws in Baltimore this past weekend, and my brother-in-law, who is on the cusp of craft-hood, happened to have a few Natty Boh's lying around. Sure, I'll have one. I didn't bother with a glass, because my in-laws don't really have much appropriate glassware around, and also, it's Natty Boh. Sure enough, my 4.5 year old says, "Daddy, how come you're drinking the beer from where it comes from (i.e. the bottle)?" I said "You're right, daddy made a mistake."

    I was so proud of him!
  37. Lucular

    Lucular Advocate (660) Maryland Jun 20, 2014 Verified

    Not about beer, but at my church a little girl after taking a sip of the communion wine said happily "That was tasty!" loud enough for everyone to hear.
  38. Gajo74

    Gajo74 Savant (465) New York Sep 14, 2014 Verified

    I work with kids. The other day, a 4th grader said to me "mr......you and I should go out for a bud light" I laughed and answered ".......I would be happy to take you out when you're 21, but, I can guarantee you it will not be for bud light"
  39. tlema1

    tlema1 Champion (800) South Carolina Nov 19, 2008 Verified

    I used to take my daughters to Beef O'Brady's on Friday (family friendly sports bar franchise), for what I told them was Happy Hour...later on in the year, at soccer practice, the coach informed the team that a change in the practice schedule was going to include a Friday session from 5-8PM...my 12 year old jumped up and screamed...."Not Friday, I won't be able to go to Happy Hour"....I was very proud
    steorn, GDawgs34, seakayak and 14 others like this.
  40. gopens44

    gopens44 Poobah (1,025) Virginia Aug 9, 2010 Verified

    After swooning over Mosaic from The Other Half, my 11 year old son asked me if it was better than Heady.