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Funny things your BMC friends say when given craft.

Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by nquigley16, Dec 29, 2012.

  1. otispdriftwood

    otispdriftwood Advocate (730) Colorado Dec 9, 2011 Beer Trader

    No horror story but I'm thankful you called the local suicide prevention hotline after both of these events so you can relate the experiences.
  2. CommanderOfAwesome

    CommanderOfAwesome Advocate (550) California Aug 30, 2012 Verified

    IPAs are too heavy man.
  3. LeRose

    LeRose Advocate (725) Massachusetts Nov 24, 2011 Verified

    I dunno...my bologna, mayo, and peanut butter toast beer turned out pretty good....
  4. TheBeerDad

    TheBeerDad Savant (380) Michigan Sep 6, 2012 Beer Trader

    I was told recently while bar tending, "I don't drink that craft stuff, I'm very anti-establishment. I stick to good old American products like Miller and Natural light...."
    tcanaday, luwak, cnbrown313 and 5 others like this.
  5. UWBadgerFan4Life

    UWBadgerFan4Life Advocate (610) Wisconsin Jul 24, 2012 Beer Trader

    My wife says all IPAs taste like perfume.
    ediaz and xxbillay like this.
  6. ezperkins2

    ezperkins2 Savant (435) California Jan 3, 2011 Beer Trader

    Did your head spin all the way around? I would have a field day responding to that one.
    ColinStClaire likes this.
  7. TheBeerDad

    TheBeerDad Savant (380) Michigan Sep 6, 2012 Beer Trader

    I had to do a little Frank Costanza in my head... Serenity NOW!!! He overheard me talking about Backwoods Bastard to a regular of mine. There was no helping this one so I appeased him and talked about Strohs.
    fullmetal1381 and alysmith4 like this.
  8. Icarus

    Icarus Savant (270) Minnesota Oct 6, 2012

    I had my cousin try some Surly Furious during x-mas and she says " you actually drink this stuff"? More for me I guess. :)
  9. "Is that one of those Whisky beers"
    "Look at me I drink beer from a goblet".. lol thats my favorite
  10. xanok

    xanok Advocate (500) Connecticut Aug 13, 2009 Beer Trader

    I agree with him. That beer sucks.
    kojevergas likes this.
  11. xanok

    xanok Advocate (500) Connecticut Aug 13, 2009 Beer Trader

    My best friend compared DFH 120 to what he thinks Mr. Clean would taste like.

    To be fair, I don't like it either.
    harperman69 and franklinn like this.
  12. SometimesIfart

    SometimesIfart Advocate (745) Michigan Jun 4, 2012 Beer Trader

    According to my friend, Hopslam is only " A decent IPA " But apparently " It doesn't compare to his Guinness ".

    Another friend told me that Humu Lupa " Tastes like rotten banana's and dish soap. " He immediately washed it down with a Labatt Blue Light Lime.
    JxExM likes this.
  13. vacax

    vacax Advocate (675) California Jun 3, 2008 Beer Trader

    ISO LaBatt Blue Light Lime
    cavedave, davelag and olfolxholme like this.
  14. I usually pull a bmc reversal and tell them my craft beer tastes like shit. Then I ask if I can have one of their Bud Lights. Then I take a sip and proclaim "HOLY SHIT THIS IS AMAZING!! WHERE DID YOU GET IT?"
    Bones10, JxExM, mychalg9 and 7 others like this.
  15. SometimesIfart

    SometimesIfart Advocate (745) Michigan Jun 4, 2012 Beer Trader

    If ISO means that you're seeking it out, Check Meijer.
  16. canadianghetto

    canadianghetto Advocate (530) Texas Oct 15, 2011 Beer Trader

    My wife says that Boston Lager tastes like a bowling alley.
    dsal89, JxExM, Beefytits4 and 3 others like this.
  17. Derranged

    Derranged Advocate (545) New York Mar 7, 2010

    A friend of mine said IPAs taste like olives.

    Even when I was new to IPAs and couldn't handle them well, I tasted nothing like that.
    Lantern and Craigory like this.
  18. endovelico

    endovelico Savant (345) Portugal Jul 25, 2008

    "Blargh, tastes like yogurt" - After drinking Aventinus Eisbock
  19. I let my roommate (who was drinking Busch Lite) try a sip from my Sierra Nevada Celebration. I basically got "Wow that is interesting. Hoppy! I do not like that." and I just chuckled and took it back
  20. forrestbetts

    forrestbetts Savant (250) Illinois Nov 29, 2007

    My father-in-law will periodically say somehthing like "you like those dark beers" when I have a Gumballhead or Two Hearted in my hand.
    Lantern and kojevergas like this.
  21. koopa

    koopa Champion (870) New Jersey Apr 20, 2008 Beer Trader

    That's like trying to teach astrophysics to a wino who dropped out of high school and hasn't read a book since then. You might be more successful next time if you make a logical attempt at transitioning a macro drinker to craft. Perhaps offer them a Kolsch, a Pilsner, or a Blonde Ale instead?
    JxExM likes this.
  22. No matter what, they're always "too bitter."
  23. "Aaauuuuuh (spit spit)" I thought my buddy would like Outer Darkness...
  24. Schmuck82

    Schmuck82 Initiate (0) Texas Nov 13, 2008

    Well my dad says that anything above 7% ABV is wine and not beer (even if it is beer).
    afrothunder likes this.
  25. ImageFX

    ImageFX Aficionado (120) Florida Jan 29, 2013

    "Not drinking anymore beers with weird labels"
  26. SometimesIfart

    SometimesIfart Advocate (745) Michigan Jun 4, 2012 Beer Trader

    Most recently, a friend told me that 60 minute tastes like watery bologna. It may have been the dumbest comment I have ever gotten on a beer.
    luwak likes this.
  27. fullmetal1381

    fullmetal1381 Savant (280) Florida Jul 30, 2011

    Long setup, but worth it:

    My mother, who prior to me introducing her to craft only drank Guinness Foreign Extra, and then only sparingly, has liked every stout I have shared with her, including CBS (when she was in town for the birth of her grandson), Ten Fidy, and Stone IRS (she just refuses to buy any herself, citing cost). When I went up to Chicago she discovered that I had put Founders Breakfast Stout in the fridge and just on the novelty of the name alone, had to try it. Later that day when I had one myself, she remarked, "Why are you drinking my Breakfast Stout?"

  28. AceMaster

    AceMaster Aficionado (195) Iowa Jan 23, 2012

    had my girlfriends friend say BCBS tasted like tar as i was breaking my BCBS virginity, very horrible story
  29. anth0ny

    anth0ny Savant (260) Michigan Jan 5, 2012

    A friend and I were at a local bar (MI) and a buddy asks us what we're drinking, and I say Bell's Winter Ale.
    Holding a bottle of Bud Light he says with a look of disgust, "that's so un-American".

    I proceeded to explain that the beer was brewed right here in our home state. However I did strategically refrain from explaining that Anheuser-Busch InBev is a Belgian-Brazilian company (recently found out Goose Island is also owned by AB Inbev)
  30. Does he think all liquor is wine too?
  31. Davepoolesque

    Davepoolesque Advocate (705) Massachusetts Aug 25, 2012 Beer Trader

    Gave my buddy an Old Chub; "this tastes like a chocolatey asshole"
    dcloeren, luwak, calcnerd and 3 others like this.
  32. Schmuck82

    Schmuck82 Initiate (0) Texas Nov 13, 2008

    Well if something is ~5% ABV it is beer, if it is 10-15% it is wine and if its above 20% its liquor.
  33. SeaOfShells

    SeaOfShells Savant (350) California Feb 22, 2011

    I brought a New Belgium Folley pack to a friends house one night, and his girlfriend reached for an Abbey Style Ale. She had noticed the pack included Fat Tire, took a swig straight from the bottle and said, "Hey, this kinda tastes like Fat Tire." I was screaminng in my head.​

    Edit: Also, a dude at our monthly poker game insists that all IPAs taste like "lemon Pledge".
  34. "You have anything normal on tap?" HA. Fool.....
  35. yamar68

    yamar68 Champion (910) Minnesota Apr 1, 2011

    "Hey, thanks man. I appreciate it."
    JxExM and MinorThreat like this.
  36. mellowmark

    mellowmark Advocate (630) Minnesota Mar 31, 2010 Beer Trader

    I sure hope you drank it and didn't just leave it there.
  37. mellowmark

    mellowmark Advocate (630) Minnesota Mar 31, 2010 Beer Trader

    That's what she said.
    DrStiffington, dsal89, obrike and 3 others like this.
  38. "this isn't beer, this is doo doo water with sprinkles and you like this? gross!" No one ever said this to me and it's not funny. None of this is funny.
  39. gshak

    gshak Advocate (540) Texas Feb 20, 2011

    "This is too bitter" on a Sam Adam Boston Lager

    "Careful, this one might be too strong." on a Guinness Draft

    "Don't go for the darker ones, you might not like them. They're too intense." while I was checking out the beer menu at one of the local micro-brewery/restaurants. Of course, I heeded the good advice and went with a pale ale, not intending to offend them by telling that the imperial stouts happen to be my favorite style by far.
  40. It's amazing the way those sorts of people have been brainwashed by the cheap red-white-and-blue patriotism overload marketing employed by BMC brands.

    Of course, a lot of lower-end grocery stores don't help, only having sections labelled "Domestic" and "Import" and putting whatever craft offerings they have into the Import section.
    Lantern likes this.