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Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by devlishdamsel, Dec 27, 2012.
I was referring to the ancestral series ya jerks
Funny that this post appeared today as I dreamt last night that I started a brewery. It was called Moon Man Brewery with white and silver labels. The logo looked something like this:
Nice concept, but you'd need to get Robert Plant as an investor, otherwise I suspect he'd sue the pants off of you!
Plant already has a brewer in the family (see Beavertown Brewery in London), so you might want to go after Page.
Zodiac Brewing. Lots of naming, vertical and marketing ideas with stuff like birth stones, astrological signs, constellations, etc... Maybe a little too cliche, but fun.
AND AN "ALL CAPS" LABELING FORMAT......CHEERS !
Brew Pub. The Wet Spot
1. Tastes Like Chicken IPA
2. She's a Ginger Imperial Red
3. Camel Toe Stout
I'd start a brewery called "Sessions." Every beer would be 5% or less (doesn't meet the traditional session definition, I know). At the brew pub everything would be served in 20oz. Imperial Pint glasses, unless you requested a 36oz mug.
Mine would be Two Dachshunds brewing (yes I know there is already a 3 Dachshunds)
Double Dachshund Dachshund Dubbel
Rusty's RIS (rusty is my Black and Tan in my avatar)
Ollie's Wit (Ollie is my blue dappled piebald with a very witty personality)
Death to all Badgers (enamel peeling DIPA)
The long and low series (a series of low abv Berliner Weisses that you can session for a long time)
I would do all English style ales and maybe call it Ripper Brewing.
The name would be something film related and all the beers would be named after Films (ignore the massive copyright issues) such as
Oat-tober an RIS with Oats named after Eisenstein's October
To Kill a Brown Bird, Brown ale named after To Kill a Mockingbird
Go Weiss, a Weissbier named after the Marx Brother's Go West.
Ideally I'd try to link similar beers with a Director or Actor. Such as German beers being named after Max Brothers films and RIS being named after the great Soviet films on the 20s.
Tie in the Zodiac Killer too.
Sofa King Brewing Company. I would have beers such as Sofa King Awesome IPA, Sofa King Good Scotch Ale, and Sofa King Strong Bourbon Barrell Aged Imperial Stout.
Is it pathetic to admit that I won't even speculate over what my brewery would be like because I know it is such a phenomenal amount of work that I won't even fantasize about it? ditto for being a chef at a restaurant.
221B Brewing (Provided Mr. Bell could give his blessing)
Beers would be named via various Sherlock Holmes references.
Bohemian Scandal (Pils)
Red Headed Amber
Those last too sound more like adult films.
I just laughed my dick off! (LMDO)
Or I'd do a brew pub. The interior of the pub would look like the captain's quarters of a 19th century ship of the line.
L.J. Aubrey Brewing
Typical nautical style applied to beers/logos.
Bonaparte Baltic Porter
Things like that.
Gangster Shit Brewery
The beers would be named after famous true/fictional gangs/gangsters.
1. Baseball Furies pale ale
2. Crip Stout
3. Dead Rabbits Lager
4. Johnny Sac's Barleywine
5. Shine box Porter
6. Chalky White's Oatmeal Stout
7. Jack Burtons Porkchop Express Amber ale
The Arrested Development is brilliant! The rest are quite clever as well!
I would open a brewpub and call it 'The Old Lion'. I would brew 4 beers;
Mild (abv of 3.2%)
Bitter (abv of 4.5%)
English Style IPA (abv of 6.0 %)
English Porter (abv of 5.0 %)
these would all be on cask.
I would also have 12 tap lines;
Fuller's London Pride
Sam Adams Boston Lager
Sam Adams Seasonal
rotating between Magic Hat & Dogfish Head
rotating between Founders & Great Lakes
rotating Goose Island
because I would want this to be a welcoming place where even people without taste or knowledge of beer could come and enjoy themselves with their craft drinking friends I would have the following on tap also:
I would also have all Samuel Smith's, Moorland/ Greene King, Ommegang, Goose Island, Founders, Dogfish Head, Magic Hat, Sierra Nevada and Genny beers in bottles.
we would serve food like Bangers & Mash, Sheperd's Pie, Welsh Rarebit, Steak & Kidney Pie, Chicken & Mushroom Pie, Fish & Chips, Chicken Tikka Masala, etc. on Sundays we would have a Full Breakfast; (eggs, potatoes, bacon, baked beans,etc.) and for Dinner, Sunday Roast.
Can you include a 100 IBU IPA named Hopbreaker?
I would for the life of me love to quit my day job, join forces and reinvigorate Esslinger brewery (my last name). Apparently it was an old brewery in PA that shut down sometime in the 60's. I don't know who owns the rights, etc. nor do I know if the beer was any good, but the amazing thing is that all Esslinger brewery paraphernalia sold at auction usually goes for a high price.
Mad Irishman... of course the flagship would be a Irish Dry Stout...... and more personal favorite a Barleywine.
Machine Gun Kelly Kolsch
Jacob Ruppert, the big NYC brewery, bought the Esslinger brand when the brewery closed in Philadelphia in 1963. (I think some of it under Ruppert's ownership was even brewed under contract in Reading, PA by Sunshine). Only a couple of years later, Rheingold bought the Ruppert brands and continued to make Esslinger for the PA market.
When Rheingold closed (1977), C. Schmidt & Sons bought most of the Rheingold labels, except for McSorley's which went to Ortleib's and Esslinger went to The Lion, in Wilkes-Barre. That was a head scratcher - you'd think one of those 2 Philly breweries would have wanted an old local brand. The Lion continued to brew it for quite a while. Not sure when they dropped it (along with several other old discount brands like Gibbons and Bartel's) or if they still keep up the registration on the trademark rights.
Ruppert dropped the classic Esslinger "Little Man" mascot and replaced it with a.... pirate. Really? (Needless to say, their other beers- an ale, a stout, a half 'n' half, a porter were dropped by all the subsequent owners).
I like this, what a creative thread. I put a little time into coming up with these since I think this is a pretty fun topic. My brewery would be named in honor of my favorite professional sports team: the Chicago Blackhawks. Thusly, my brewery would be called Blackhawk Brewing Co. Here is the list of my pilot beers:
Blackhawk Brewing Co. Pilot Lineup:
Stone Cold Crow -- Imperial Coffee Stout. Chocolate and coffee dominate this robust stout much like how the Hawk's netminder dominates the competition.
The Chelsea Dagger -- DIPA. Intense hoppiness takes over in this double IPA with the intensity of the namesake song and Hawk's pump up song
Captain Serious -- American IPA. An even amount of maltiness and a hoppy bitterness on the back end make this brew a reliable option, like the Captain himself.
Madhouse Ale -- American Pale Wheat Ale. Flavorful red wheat and a rich profile of Cascade and Amarillo hops give this beer all the character and intensity of the Madhouse on Madison packed to the rafters during the playoffs
Rat Attack -- Witbier. A flavorful Witbier that will attack your tongue, made in honor of The Rat himself, Dave Bolland.
BA Canuck Crusher -- barrel aged imperial stout. Barrel aged in imported Canadian Whiskey barrels, this rich roasted Imperial Stout will crush all competition
Top Shelf Kaner -- American Pale Ale. A flavorful and sessionable APA brewed with The freshest Citra hops around is always a game winner.
Ray's Back-up Ale -- American Amber Ale. Ray Emery may be the #2 goaltender on the Hawks, but this American Amber is #1 in our book
So yeah, that's it so far. I had a lot of fun with this one.
Oral Hopulation IPA & Money Shot Stout.
Thank you...thank you. I'm here all week
You understand that your place would be my Blackhawks obsessed 79 year old mother's favorite hangout, right?
All who love the Hawks would be welcome. I wish it was real!
I'd call mine "White Dog" brewery. I'd have no seasonal releases because nothing pisses me off more than a badass beer only being available for 3 months out of the year. I haven't thought about names of pilot beers, but I'd definitely make a complex stout first as well as a hoppy, earthy IPA
not going to tell my real ideas cuz i still dare to dream..
but, in the novelty brewery category.. being that i live in LA and i'm a cinema fan i thought it would be cool to do a brewery called LA Noir, and only do 'dark' 'black' beers. Imperial Stouts, Black IPAs etc.. which of course would get old and then i would break my rules, but hey..
i also thought it would be funny for a brewery to do theme on the darker side of alcoholism... have beers like:
Restraining Order Rye
all with funny cartoon depictions of said themes (homeless people etc...)
AK - AK
Burton - KK
Mild - X
Bitter - PA
Porter - P
IPA - IPA
Stout - SSS
This guy would do all my labels and windows
A true artist whose work would match perfectly with my general Victorian/turn of the century style.
Just came up with another one to add to my list of beers:
The Big Hoss - Czech Pilsener - A refreshing brew made with imported Saaz hops from the Czech Republic. Crisp and super smooth, just like #81
SAMSARA - Imperial Stout brewed with cocoa nibs and aged with Door County cherries in stainless
VEDANTA - Double Wee Heavy brewed with sphagnum peat and aged in Johnnie Walker Blue barrels
SATYA - American IPA brewed with El Dorado and Columbus hops
AHIMSA - All citra DIPA brewed with whole mangoes and blood oranges
All of these sound extremely tasty, especially the last one
Apple IPAd- A IPA brewed with apples
Native American Pale Ale- IPA made with corn
P-Funk- Our Gueze offering
Black Power- A Imp Stout
BMC- Our Bottled Water
Malt Rats- A Brown
The Arizona Quints minus Nathan Jr. -Our Belgian Quad
Dirty Harry- Unfiltered PA
Liquid Courage the Cowardly Dog- American Strong Ale
Ed, Edd, and Eddie- Belgian Triple
CatDog- Black and Tan
Gentlemen's Preference- Blond Ale
if i did i wonder if i'd still get yelled at for being on BA....Ray Troll would do my lables...he gets it
If I started a brewery I'd invite every sorry ass bastard from this site to the opening.
Separate names with a comma.