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Porch Destroyer BIF Hints and Hauls

Discussion in 'Beer It Forward' started by EgadBananas, Mar 10, 2013.

  1. Thanks to all the participants! We have a great group of BAs ready to destroy some porches! Some of you I know personally, some indirectly, and some are newer BAs, eager to prove a point! I can't wait to see the hauls start rolling in!

    To recap:

    -NO ounce or NO bottle limits.
    -1 piece of swag.
    -Destroy, destroy, destroy!

    I urge everyone to:

    -UPDATE THEIR WANTS! (and gots)
    -List favorite and least favorite styles.
    -Pay attention to your targets gots/hads/reviews to avoid sending things that they have or have had.
    -Use www.seekabrew.come to get a good idea of your targets distribution.
    -Have fun and be active!

    If anyone else has any further suggestions or words of wisdom, feel free to post them!

    I have already chosen my victim and will be kicking this off no later than this coming Friday, unless swag retrieval takes longer.

    Fair and final warning: I will be attempting to set the bar high! Bring your A game folks!

  2. Let's do this. I'm gonna send my target some wood as swag to repair where the shipment lands.
    inkdemention likes this.
  3. Yeah...I can't wait for this. Someone gimme a good box so I can send a ridiculous one out the door immediately thereafter. :p I love oneupmanship. lol Seriously though...I've been looking for a way to use all those shippers piling up in my garage.
  4. jaasen64

    jaasen64 Advocate (505) Massachusetts Jan 15, 2012 Verified

    I'm already strategizing how I'm going to obliterate someone's porch, I hope they have insurance on it. They're going to come home and it's going to look like a war zone, although on the positive side they'll find plenty of beer to console themselves under all the rubble.
  5. c64person

    c64person Advocate (500) North Carolina Mar 20, 2010 Verified

    My target is going to need a forklift to get all of those brews off their porch :)
  6. HomeBrewed

    HomeBrewed Savant (425) Minnesota Dec 10, 2006 Verified

    My box will include a pair of Surly Depends...Make sure you put those on before you open the rest of the box!
  7. Andygirl

    Andygirl Savant (280) Michigan Jan 3, 2013

    Just let me know if you need concrete or wood with your beer :D
  8. HINT #1: Just picked up a few things this morning for my target. They might think I'm from somewhere on the east coast with these items in toe, but I can assure you the box is coming from the deep south!

    PS: I'd also begin pumping iron, cuz you'll be needing the muscles!
  9. Sun is shining here, I'm spending time outside on my porch clipping my toenails. Please be gentle when fucking my porch please.
    Ahhhh screw it, hate fuck it!
  10. DocBrewsky

    DocBrewsky Aficionado (170) California Sep 28, 2010 Verified

    My box is going to have something BLACK, something WHITE, something SWEET, and somethig SOUR!...
  11. Shit. WTF kind of beer can you pick up in the bayou? lol
  12. Answers to the questions you seek will all be revealed next week!
  13. DonFrap

    DonFrap Savant (490) Massachusetts Feb 27, 2011

    I don't have a porch but if someone can make the floor drop out of the lobby at my complex, you win.
  14. Something I should have put in the initial post: As much as I'd love to see this going quickly (and not just because I'm the last to receive ;)), not everyone will take a week to plan out their box, so this will take months to play out. So if you have any changes to ANY of your information as we go along, please tell me ASAP so I can notify the current list holder to make the necessary changes.

    In other news, I'm sitting at 378.1oz of beer for my target. Final oz total will be north of 400 I can assure you. Swag has been taken care of. Box...oh who am I kidding, boxES will be departing Friday...but if work allows me the time, I could ship them as soon as Wednesday. Someone might have to start rebuilding their porch this weekend...
  15. wyatt13

    wyatt13 Savant (485) Illinois Feb 13, 2011

    Great, still time to construct reinforcements!
  16. It won't help.
    inkdemention likes this.
  17. Andygirl

    Andygirl Savant (280) Michigan Jan 3, 2013

    Went out to get tags to start marking cellar beers for my target. Also got few nice bottles I have been considering just in case he likes that kind of beer.;)
  18. FrankHammer

    FrankHammer Advocate (530) Michigan Jan 31, 2013 Verified

    This is like Christmas, except I KNOW when Christmas is! As Willy Wonka says, "The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last." :)
  19. kmello69

    kmello69 Advocate (645) Texas Nov 27, 2011 Verified

    I tried to explain to my wife how I'm now involved in a complicated trade that might take a year to complete. She just shook her head in disdain and walked away.


  20. Like x10
  21. TysonA

    TysonA Savant (365) Washington Dec 12, 2010 Verified

    My convo went something like this:

    Me: While your away on business travel I found myself into this awesome trade that will take awhile to complete.

    Wife: How many bottles is it going to be this time?

    Me: Well the bar is set at 400 oz +

    Wife: Looks like you will need my FedEx account number again...

    Me: Thank you and btw I will be building a new porch this spring/summer after it gets demolished!
  22. HomeBrewed

    HomeBrewed Savant (425) Minnesota Dec 10, 2006 Verified


    Even my cat can't wait for this to start!!!
    domtronzero likes this.
  23. MegDuf32

    MegDuf32 Aficionado (155) Illinois Jan 12, 2011

    I am so excited for this to get going. I have nothing clever to say yet, as I have not opened my first beer of the evening yet. And we all know wit and humor can always be found when drinking. :cool:
  24. DocBrewsky

    DocBrewsky Aficionado (170) California Sep 28, 2010 Verified

    Four hundres plus ounces of QUALITY beer?!

    Someone is in for some serious surprise porch sex...
  25. It's probably best that my wife remains largely in the dark about my trading habits. ;)
  26. "Quality" is an understatement.
  27. Andygirl

    Andygirl Savant (280) Michigan Jan 3, 2013

    My husband said "You're talking like, $500 worth of beer!?" I said "yeah". He said "Then you better find some other cool shit to send too!"

    This is why I love him. :D
    aslamm75 likes this.
  28. DocBrewsky

    DocBrewsky Aficionado (170) California Sep 28, 2010 Verified

    Ooo! In "the dark you say"? Like in your cellar? GENIUS! I think I will start to keep mine in the cellar, too!

    You know...to keep her free from UV...and slow her oxidation...
  29. Can't let wandering eyes get a sneak peak at the goods before they obliterate someones porch...where's the fun in that? ;)
  30. DocBrewsky

    DocBrewsky Aficionado (170) California Sep 28, 2010 Verified

  31. DocBrewsky

    DocBrewsky Aficionado (170) California Sep 28, 2010 Verified

    I told my wife about the 400+ounces of beer and she goes "That's like twenty bombers!!"

    To which I replied "Yes. Yes it is." ha
  32. So I might have underestimated porch fucking. 400oz+ makes my low expectations that much better. Spring cleaning has just turned into spring re construction on the foundation to my porch.
    Fed ex is gonna have multiple workers comp issues from lower back pulls and hernias.

  33. You can't fuck a porch with only 200-300 oz's...it will just keep echoing "Are you even in yet?!" ;)
  34. wyatt13

    wyatt13 Savant (485) Illinois Feb 13, 2011

    I've been a bad boy...posting videos & shit. I just want to do hood rat stuff with my friends! Please punish my porch instead of me.
  35. TysonA

    TysonA Savant (365) Washington Dec 12, 2010 Verified

    In light of my recent bad behavior of putting up some videos and home depot shopping events here is a description of what your porch will resemble.

    Since I am from Seattle I can best relate what your porch to the event that took place in 2000. When the Kingdome was imploded and all that was left was the remains of a stadium. I was 50 blocks away and could feel the rumble. That is what it will be like when the FedEx guy arrives.

    PS I love me some hood rat stuff
  36. Looks like I need to start pumping out the hints...it's looking more and more probably that I will get these boxes in the mail tomorrow...I might miss the last pick up, but it'll just be a shoe in to start it's journey on Wednesday. ​
    HINT 2: I will be shipping to a state that has the letter "I" in it's spelling.​
  37. kmello69

    kmello69 Advocate (645) Texas Nov 27, 2011 Verified

    Welp, looks like I'm out. Which is good, because I want a lot of time to put things together, and bad, because I want my porch to get some action. But be warned - my porch is concrete, so things are gonna get rough....
  38. c64person

    c64person Advocate (500) North Carolina Mar 20, 2010 Verified

    Well that limits the list to about half of the states... :confused: But at least my state is on the list! (Come on, bomb my porch I hate that thing anyways!)
  39. Andygirl

    Andygirl Savant (280) Michigan Jan 3, 2013

    Is there a swag limit of 1, or just a minimum? I am hoping for minimum :D.