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Teddy Bear Kisses | Upland Brewing Company

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Teddy Bear KissesTeddy Bear Kisses
492 Ratings
Teddy Bear KissesTeddy Bear Kisses

Brewed by:
Upland Brewing Company
Indiana, United States

Style: Russian Imperial Stout

Alcohol by volume (ABV): 10.00%

Availability: Rotating

Notes / Commercial Description:
Russian Imperial Stout aged on cacao nibs

Added by Verecund on 11-14-2009

Bros Score:
User Ratings & Reviews
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Ratings: 492 |  Reviews: 135
Photo of SpeedwayJim
1.4/5  rDev -61.6%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 1 | feel: 2 | overall: 1

Thanks to Tom (TPatuto) for this one. Poured from a 22oz. bomber into a Southampton oversize snifter.

A: Standard pour yields a .5 finger light mocha head with poor retention. Beer is a dark, almost opaque brown. Lacing is spotty with moderate cling. Beer is a bit on the thin side and too lightly colored for its style. Poor legs too.

S: Nose is an odd combination of cocoa nibs, non-sour spoiled milk, tangerine slices, liquorice, coffee, and some slight hints of milk chocolate. Aromatic, but not pleasant. Rather awkward actually.

T: Opens cocoa nibs, liquorice, heavy cream, and lactose. Sour whole milk towards the middle with a heavy dose of roasted malt bitterness. Some chocolate is present to sweeten the experience but spoiled dark fruit and coffee beans enters towards the end to crush my taste buds. Finish is a terrible combination of roasted malt, chocolate, spoiled milk, and over-ripe dark fruit. Aftertaste is more of the same but with a coffee bean graininess added. Its all I can do to take 2 or 3 sips to review this one.

M: Medium bodied with moderate carbonation. Slightly grainy and bubbly in the mouth. Filmy and oily going down with a messy finish and a long, lingering aftertaste. This just serves to prolong and intensify the horrible flavored of this beer.

D: This beer is terrible in almost every respect. Skip it. Please. I drank it and reviewed it so you don't have to. No amount of aging or barrel-aging could possibly save it in my mind. Upland makes some good beers but this is a complete failure. Furthermore, the name makes me think this is just some mean prank by the brewery. Sounds cute to lure you in, then punches you in the mouth with disgustingness.

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Photo of Katieharper
1.44/5  rDev -60.5%

Photo of jheiss
1.5/5  rDev -58.9%

Photo of Arbitrator
1.57/5  rDev -57%
look: 3.5 | smell: 1.5 | taste: 1.5 | feel: 2 | overall: 1

Chilled bottle into a glass. Generously shared by womencantsail. Thanks, Andrew.

A: Pours black with a substantial mocha head. It looks like it might be infected.

S: It's not, at least not in any obvious (to me) manner. No bacteria could produce the unnatural flavors of char, tar, and cigar (hey, that rhymes!).

T: Burnt coffee, burnt cocoa, char (like overdone roast), cigar. These pull into the finish for a really bitter, acrid aftertaste. I see other reviewers mention the words "burnt" and "acrid" a few times, so I'm inclined to think this isn't an off bottle. Just not something tuned to my palate. I found it unpleasant to say the least.

M: Thin-medium body that is especially foamy in the finish.

D: Not the worst imperial stout I've ever had, but there are many better ones, assuming this is a representative bottle.

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Photo of BarrytheBear
1.78/5  rDev -51.2%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 1 | feel: 1 | overall: 1

22 oz bottle

Dark brown into a snifter with a short lived half inch tan head

Equal blend of milk and dark chocolates, coffee, and plastic. Who ordered the Saran Wrap?

Whoa, SWEET Jesus. This is messy. It's thin and way too sweet. Imperial Stout....uh, no way. A pummeling sickly dark fruit experience coupled with an odd cooked cabbage bitterness. Cocoa nibs really do add anything assistance to a beer in serious need of some sort of overhaul or resuscitation. Flatlining, here... won't somebody help please? What's most disconcerting is that the aftertaste sticks around forever and just begs for some sort remediation. Yuck.

Burned again by the Upland flame.

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Photo of GRG1313
1.88/5  rDev -48.5%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 1 | feel: 1.5 | overall: 2

I like the few Upland Sours I've had and I jumped to taste this when I saw the bottle being passed around at The Bruery's Clusterfork party.

Poured a nice dark brown/black with nice khaki head and looked pretty nice in the glass.

Nose is red/purple plum chocolatey with some dark black coffee tones and hints of licorice with a bit of an "acidic coffee" tone.

Mouthfeel is a bit thin and, truthfully, hard to judge since the flavors are simply so problematic.

Flavors of burnt black coffee; bitter licorice; burnt charcoal and black rubber. There is a synthetic character to this and I'm almost prepared to conclude that I had a bad bottle.

I wasn't going to post the review, but then, after I wrote the lion's share of this saw other reviews and concluded that "my" bottle was like others. Not really flavor profiles that invite more than a taste of this one.

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Photo of IrishColonial
2/5  rDev -45.2%

Photo of BigBlueShep
2/5  rDev -45.2%

Photo of HuskyinPDX
2/5  rDev -45.2%

Bottle opened on 7.7.14
2010 Vintage

So far gone. Dumped it.

62 characters

Photo of BarrelyLegal
2.02/5  rDev -44.7%
look: 4 | smell: 2 | taste: 1.75 | feel: 2 | overall: 2

Draft served in a mini snifter

A - Black, with large light- tan bubbles around the edge of the glass 4

S - very little smell to it for a BA Stout. Slightly sweet odor. 2

T - super light, faintly roasts. I'd believe this was more of a porter than a barrel aged stout. Not as much sweetness as expected, but a bit of coffee. Not picking up any cocoa. 1.75

M - light and watery. Very thin for the style. 2

O - Does not hold up to the competition. Much less going on than in any other BA RIP I've had. 2

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Photo of largadeer
2.06/5  rDev -43.6%
look: 3 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2

Thanks, Andrew.

Black with a huge dense head that retains solidly. Smells bland, smoke with some cocoa. Roasty on the palate, borderline burnt. Little cocoa and tar. Medium body, slightly thin. Lot of roast in the finish, pretty astringent with lingering cigar smoke. Not my favorite Upland beer.

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Photo of Lare453
2.32/5  rDev -36.4%
look: 4.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 1.75 | feel: 3 | overall: 2.25

A black, nice thick khaki head, beautiful lacing.

S light chocolate, light roastiness, malt.

T nice chocolate beginning, which fades into a terrible metallic coffee flavor. The end is short with tin, and the aftertaste is not good either.

M thin, soft, light carbonation

O I would never have it again.

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Photo of womencantsail
2.34/5  rDev -35.9%
look: 4 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2 | feel: 3 | overall: 2

Thanks to Mark for this one.

A: The pour is primarily a dark brown color with some reddish notes when held to the light. A sizable tan head with very nice retention.

S: The nose starts off with roasted malts, bitter chocolate, and acrid coffee. A bit of a burnt thing going on here as well as some smoke.

T: A weird spicy, smokey flavor to begin. This is followed up by lots of intense roasted malt flavor, bitter, burnt sugar, ash, and alcohol. Delicious.

M: The body is medium and the carbonation is a bit on the high side.

D: This beer was just too burnt and bitter. Really not something I would look forward to having again.

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Photo of MarcatGSB
2.39/5  rDev -34.5%
look: 4 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2.5

Poured from 22 oz. bottle into CBS snifter. 2011 vintage.

A: Pours a very deep brown, but not black color, and actually pours quite thin looking. A fairly attractive light khaki colored 1 finger head. Some decent lacing after a few vigorous swirls, and some memorable legs.

N: Very green and fresh smelling chocolate, dominated by heavily roasted malt. Some coffee on the nose as well.

T: Almost a burnt character...Loads of stale coffee character, to go along with a full blast of astringency. Real bitter sensation. Hardly any chocolate to speak off, nothing noteworthy. What is there is an after thought at the back of the tongue, but it's hard to separate the bitter chocolate, and the burnt roast flavor. This thing is dominated by charred or burnt character. Roasty would not be the correct term.

M: Light to medium body for the style, with alot of carbonation. A decent feel, long after taste (mostly that burnt flavor).

D and O: A fairly off putting flavor lingers in my mouth. Not a horrible stout, but hardly enjoyable. A bit thin bodied and astringent. I don't feel as thought time would really do this any good either.

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Photo of Bmoyer0301
2.48/5  rDev -32.1%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2


Roasted malts, and cocoa powder are the main event here. Some ashy undertones followed by chocolate and raisins. As I left my mug warm up a bit there are lots of dark fruits shining through and some rum-esq aromas. In the middle I am pulling out some light roasted coffee maybe a iced coffee smell with some heavy cream. I am liking the faint sweetness that rounds out the roasty bitterness. The hops are bright and noticeable throughout all the aromas going on, pretty sharp and earthy smelling. Not overly charred and cloyingly sweet so far so good.


Right off the start I am noticing something that remind me of burnt toast that has a fair amount of bitterness to it. This really has a reminiscent of Bell's Batch 10,000 which was a little over the top for me. There is a fair amount of chocolate and burnt ashy notes going on that are kind of like smoking a cigar. The mouth feel this is really thin for being a imperial stout... almost too thin and I would really like some more body. Also there is a weird red wine flavor going on that makes the finish sharp and tangy. Also, I wanted to call attention to the hops because they are certainly there and add a sharp mossy earth flavor that kind of fight the sweetness. A very dry long finish that leaves a lingering taste that I am not very sure of.


I don't know what to think about this one. Is this really a imperial stout or is it a black strong ale? I am not sure if this is a bad bottle or if this what they all came out like because when you check out other peoples reviews they are really up and down. I am thankful that I had the opportunity to give this a try but also very glad that I didn't trade for it. This one is just a little off for me and I don't think I will be trying to search it out again. If you come across it, hell give it a shot maybe your bottle will be better than mine and for $7 it's not that hard of a loss if you don't like it.

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Photo of MrHirschybar
2.5/5  rDev -31.5%

Photo of Syracuse12
2.5/5  rDev -31.5%

Photo of Kkottonmouthkngz
2.5/5  rDev -31.5%
look: 2.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2.5

Ive been sitting on this for a few months with the recommendation that it definitely needs time in the bottle. After opening, i realize it needed longer, if there was any helping this one in the first place.
Right off the bat, the pour concerns me because its got some "clarity" and red hues as it comes out of the bottle, not nearly a color i expect. It yields a mocha colored frothy head that dissipates fairly quickly, but does stick to the sides of the glass rather aggressively.
On the nose is a faint booziness and not much cocoa to speak of. Its profile seems to be a little bit tired or off based on what im smelling. I dont think i really can appreciate whats going on here because the alcohol hits a bit up front, with some muddled chocolate and malt in the middle, followed by a huge booze hit in the finish. Its a little chewy to start but then a watery mouthfeel throws me off as it makes its way from front to back.
Im left with a black coffee bitterness after each sip that doesnt really impress very much. I guess maybe a little piece of me had bigger hopes for this one despite the few reviews i read. Its not really bad, persay, however it does fall flat on its requirements for being a successful brew. My mouth kind of feels like ive been sucking on bittersweet chocolate soaked in booze, theres really just no balance.
Cant say ill go after this again, at least the bottle looks cool.

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Photo of CarolinaKevin
2.5/5  rDev -31.5%

Photo of Brew33
2.5/5  rDev -31.5%

Photo of westcoastbeerlvr
2.5/5  rDev -31.5%

Photo of BoneyardBrewer
2.5/5  rDev -31.5%

Photo of coreyfmcdonald
2.5/5  rDev -31.5%

Photo of Sweetmambyjamby
2.58/5  rDev -29.3%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2.5

A- Very nice chocolate black. Mocha coffee two finger head. Alcohol legs and lacing.

S- Smells a lot like cinnamon coffee and chocolate. A booze aroma however, is also present.

T- Tastes like i'm drinking a shot of alcohol. It's just a hot mess really it is. A chocolate malt flavor is there but it is just very minor. I hate this.

M-Very slick carbonation is there. The oil like slickness just kind of makes it hard to swallow.

O-I'm staying very far away from this thing. Many people probably like it and that's ok with me. I wanted to like it, I built up an excitement waiting to drink it until that cold winter night, but alas...

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Photo of DavoleBomb
2.63/5  rDev -27.9%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 2 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 2

Poured into a snifter. I think this is a 2010, but I am not sure (label torn a bit).

4.0 A: Black color. Two fingers of medium brown, creamy/frothy hybrid head. Retention is pretty good and lots of lacing is left.

3.5 S: Cocoa nibs come through really well and lend a tangy quality to the beer. Moderate roast with notes of coffee, caramel, and peat. The tanginess gives this brew a uniqueness that I haven't really encountered before. I like it. A light booziness, but hidden well overall.

2.0 T: The taste doesn't work as well as the nose. Acrid, charred astringency is too apparent. A certain burntness exists reminiscent of puffing on a fairly cheap cigar or chewing on deeply roasted coffee beans. Caramel and the tanginess of the cocoa nibs manifest in a strange sweet and sour flavor. There isn't enough sweetness to realign the aforementioned flavors to acceptable limits.

3.5 M: Heavier medium body. Good moderate carbonation. Reasonably creamy, but not particularly smooth. Acrid, burnt aftertaste.

2.0 D: This is a pretty rough beer. It seems like they threw a couple too many sacks of roasted barley into this. I would sit on this for a long time with hopes that some of these flavors diminish.

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Teddy Bear Kisses from Upland Brewing Company
Beer rating: 3.65 out of 5 with 492 ratings
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