Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!
Pipeworks Brewing Company

Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!
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English Sweet / Milk Stout
Ranked #712
Ranked #25,756
3.79 | pDev: 10.82%
Pipeworks Brewing Company
Illinois, United States
Very Good
Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here!
Notes: "Let me explain something to you. Um, I am not Mr. Regular Stout. You're Mr. Regular Stout. I'm the Dude. So that's what you call me. You know, that or, uh, White Stout, or uh, Milk Stout, or El White Russian Imperial Stouterino if you're not into the whole brevity thing." We aged this White Russian inspired white stout with cacao nibs, vanilla bean and cold pressed ipsento coffee. The beverage at the end of this process is beer that could turn anyone concerned with style categories into a nihilist. It is amber in color but has aromas and flavors of coffee, chocolate, vanilla, caramel and sweet malt. Delicious now or to cellar until Walter agrees to roll on shabbas (and that will be a while).
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Reviews: 37 | Ratings: 340
Reviews by kojevergas:
Photo of kojevergas
2.29/5  rDev -39.6%
look: 1.25 | smell: 2.25 | taste: 2.25 | feel: 2.75 | overall: 2.5

BOTTLE: Cash-grab 1 pint 6 fl oz format. Brown glass. Branded red pry-off crown cap. Fun label art (Bottle art by Beejay Olson.) Cost was $11.99 at a Whole Paycheck in Manhattan.

"Unfiltered." "Imperial white milk stout...brewed with vanilla beans, an abideable amount of cacao nibs and cold-pressed coffee." "Brewed with lactose sugar with cacao, coffee, and vanilla added." 10.5% ABV.

APPEARANCE: Pours a head that fizzles out within seconds, leaving no lacing. Body colour is decidedly wrong for the milk stout style; this offers a weak looking pale brown with tea-like oily astringency visible on its surface. Translucent but nontransparent. Hardly the opaque black the style calls for, and possibly the worst milk stout appearance I've ever seen. Even outside of style conventions, it's unappealing. Promises a flat brew with ill-enough dark malt presence.

AROMA: Artificial flavours are big in this aroma, with dollar store imitation vanilla extract dominating alongside cold pressed coffee syrup and an off-putting buttery malt sweetness. The extra sweetness from the lactose sugar ensures this aroma suggests an imbalanced almost cloying brew that I'm not at all excited to try. I don't find any chocolate, dark malts, or cacao. No roasted barley.

To style, there's no hop presence or booze - which I'll concede is somewhat impressive at 10.50% ABV.

Aromatic intensity is average.

TASTE: The vanilla, while artificial, kind of works when it emerges as dominant in the third act, but it's messy up front when blended with the cheap cold pressed coffee extract flavour and the too-high-to-be-balanced brown malt/pale malt sweetness. Lactose sugar adds still more sweetness, and it's paticularly unwelcome but I wouldn't say this is cloying nonetheless; it definitely doesn't hold a candle to saccharine messes like, say, Southern Tier Creme Brulee - but then at least Creme Brulee is nice in small pours.

There's no roasted barley presence or char to lend balancing bitterness, but I doubt they could put up a fight to the high sweetness in this build anyway. I find zero cacao nib presence and no chocolate - not even just chocolate malt.

The bright malt bend of this wannabe "white stout" feels wrong. I find myself craving even a boring dark malt backbone instead of whatever they're going for here.

TEXTURE: I guess the carbonation isn't as bad as I feared, but it's still off. Smooth, wet, unrefreshing, medium-bodied. Not syrupy or sticky, to its credit. Not overbearing or too heavy on the palate, but it's filling.

Not oily, astringent, harsh, gushed, hot, boozy, or rough.

OVERALL: Possibly the worst milk stout I'll have tried by the end of 2016, and I didn't expect that coming from Pipeworks (whose Abduction series has some real gems). It's a dreadful shrug of an attempt at a milk stout, and fails to nail the style (or the nascent "white stout" style) spectacularly. I get what they were going for, but the artificiality of it really drags it down and there's no balance, depth of flavour, or subtlety to be found whatsoever. Even throwing style conventions out the window (which I'm happy to do), this just isn't good and will be something of a chore to finish. I'm genuinely surprised they even brought this to market - did I get a bad bottle or something?

I will say that its ABV is well-disguised - and that may be its best attribute.


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More User Reviews:
Photo of darktronica
4.06/5  rDev +7.1%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 4.25 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 4

I have no idea what's going on here, but I mostly want to commend whoever submitted the picture, for taking it on what appears to be a rug; it really ties the photo together.

Pours an amber color, odd even for a white or blonde stout; presumably, this is the influence of the coffee and cacao on the base white stout. The aroma is of vanilla, butterscotch, toffee, and creamy custard, with some boozy heat that never shows up in the mouth--that is an interesting trick. Once you take a sip, the beer is utterly smooth and creamy, more of a tongue-coater than expected from its consistency and modest legs.

The flavors are reminiscent of a White Russian, if you know the beer's intent. If tasted blind, I'm not sure I would get there. That said, it's a cool experiment and would still be enjoyable without the theme.

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Photo of majorlance
3.78/5  rDev -0.3%
look: 3.75 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.75

Photo of little_star
4.33/5  rDev +14.2%
look: 4.25 | smell: 4.25 | taste: 4.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.25

Photo of Robyn
3.25/5  rDev -14.2%

Photo of mlklein27
3.75/5  rDev -1.1%

Photo of markgugs
3.85/5  rDev +1.6%
look: 3.25 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.75

Photo of Domvan
4.13/5  rDev +9%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4.25 | feel: 4.25 | overall: 4

Photo of Monkeyknife
3.77/5  rDev -0.5%
look: 4 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.75

Photo of SouthSider14
3.5/5  rDev -7.7%

Photo of vande
3.5/5  rDev -7.7%

Photo of Mikexw
3.96/5  rDev +4.5%
look: 3.75 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 4

Photo of dar482
3.5/5  rDev -7.7%

Photo of bleedsblu
4/5  rDev +5.5%

Photo of mltobin
3.84/5  rDev +1.3%
look: 3.75 | smell: 4 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.75

Photo of tikk
3.42/5  rDev -9.8%
look: 2.75 | smell: 3.25 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.25 | overall: 3.25

Photo of BRami127
4.34/5  rDev +14.5%
look: 4 | smell: 4.25 | taste: 4.5 | feel: 4.25 | overall: 4.25

Photo of Yesdog
4/5  rDev +5.5%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

Photo of Thebrianeffect
4/5  rDev +5.5%

Photo of jlindros
4.05/5  rDev +6.9%
look: 3.75 | smell: 4.25 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

Liking what this brewery is doing, having a fun time with the naming of the beers, but not just making it a gimic (like some other unnamed breweries), and they're making great beer to go with it. Just in time for a good New Years Eve beer. This one being an homage to one of my fav movies, a white Russian like clone. F*ck it dude, let's go bowling.

Batch 233-234. Thanks to oN3xM (Reddit).

Pours a small fizzy head with little lacing and some decent legs on the side of the glass, semi clear but a little hazy darker cranberry mahogany colored beer.

Nose is interesting, starting with tons of fresh coffee, freshly roasted and ground coffee grinds, fresh roasty coffee a little earthy and nutty coffee mostly. Then a chocolate aroma, light cocoa and dark chocolate, little lactose with the milk chocolate aroma, into plenty of vanilla, very vanilla like like the vanilla beans were aged in it for a while. Background aromas bring a little caramel and nutty malts, I think a bit of oats as well, little oatmeal smell. But mostly is the fresh roasted ground coffee beans.

Taste starts creamy with chocolate actually, cocoa nibs and baker's chocolate, but not a bitter dark chocolate, a little lactose flavor to go with it and a mik chocolate as well as chocolate milk. Then vanilla, lots of vanilla almost as if vanilla extract was poured directly into it. Coffee is plenty too but not quite as dominant as the nose had, again that freshly roasted and ground coffee grinds, cold extracted I believe since I don't get that acrid flavor or tannic notes from the coffee, and no burnt flavors at all but perhaps the coffee was a little over roasted. The coffee is a little nutty and earthy, and goes with the malt characters which bring a little nuttiness, and mild some creamy oat flavors and big chewy center. Mild warming booze comes through but not that much. All the flavors combine to a somewhat White Russian character, mostly the vanilla, lactose and cocoa nibs, as the coffee gets a little too earthy and roasty and strong, but still pretty tasty. Finish is a little creamy and that sticky dry lactose sugar feel as well, mild bitter coffee grinds lingering and more vanilla and creamy lactose.

Mouth is med to fuller bod, fairly creamy between the lactose and oats, mild warming booze, little sticky lactose, lighter carb but they probably wanted that for the whole White Russian drink feel.

Overall pretty good, all the flavors combine to a nice White Russian like flavor, although the coffee was a bit too strong but tasty, the oats and lactose made a nice creamy cream feel, coffee and cocoa nibs for the kahlua, and overall beer was a nice big flavorful drink that was enjoyable, and even the beer blended in nicely.

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3/5  rDev -20.8%

Photo of PhineasMcClintock
3.5/5  rDev -7.7%

Photo of PBRmeasap1980
3.83/5  rDev +1.1%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.75

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3.75/5  rDev -1.1%

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Hey, Careful Man, There's A Beverage Here! from Pipeworks Brewing Company
Beer rating: 86 out of 100 with 340 ratings