Purple Haze
Abita Brewing Co.

 

Cloudy, golden color. Medium-sized, white head. The aroma of strawberries and malt. Sweet, malty taste with light bitterness at the end. Drinkable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

So I’m (etch-a-)sketching my next inner thigh tattoo, a bottomless Kathy Bates coiled around one of those Ginsu knives you buy off the TV at 3am when you definitely haven’t been watching scrambled porn on your mom’s Prism cable—been working on it for weeks—when my best mate Gordon Blevins informs me she’s still alive. Unstinkable Molly Brown indeed. Do I go through with it? Seems like a matter that can only be settled by sucking down the Purple Haze I’d decanted into a spent Capri Sun pouch to sneak it into my god-grandniece’s custody hearing. Gordon argues that the antemortem homage is probably my best shot at ever winning the romantic favor of Mama Boucher. He has my attention with a comprehensive social media campaign, an Omaha Steaks homepage takeover, and a 30-second nationwide radio spot. Gordon’s presentation is riveting. Like a recently-dismissed TGI Friday’s dishwasher moonlighting as Don Draper. He gets himself entirely too worked up and vomits all over his laptop, which is ruined, taking with it the meticulous plan he’d only thought to save on the desktop. I shrug, instantly rededicated to a life of idle cranking. Hogwise. Resigned, I sip.

I’m flesh made milk. I’m 7 years old again, again. I smell sound. I’m Filipino and my name’s Cevin (with a hard C). Guess I didn’t rinse the acid out of my Capri carry-all adequately. There’s a hint of actual berries gently lapping at the edges of my perception, which is itself a mirage — thanks again, hallucinogens. Maybe a Vanguard hop slipping a finger somewhere untoward? The mouthfeel is math and the smell is Roanoke, Virginia.

Quick update on my way to get the old stomach pumped (turns out it was actually bleach residue in my Capri) — my god-grandniece decided to get her own place, seeing as she’s 37 and all. She deserves it.

 

 

Did not taste any of the raspberry. Tastes like cheap beer. Good that I didn't buy a whole pack.

 

 

Has a subtle sweet and tart raspberry flavor and one of the most delightful smelling aromas I’ve ever experienced. I first had this beer back in 2005, and it smells and tastes exactly like it did back then, absolutely delicious. While the taste is great, Purple Haze’s downfall comes in its low abv and high ticket price, so it’s a special occasion only beer. I also haven’t seen it in bottles in my area in a long time, at 13 dollars for a 6pk, there really should be a bottle option available.

Style: Fruit Beer | Tap/Can/Bottle: Can | Abv: 4.2% | Rating: 5

It was okay. Raspberry taste is a little too strong. I honestly expected more. I don't know why.

 

 

Super solid, I'm a fan of these fruited beers. Not too sweet.