Totally Naked | New Glarus Brewing Company

303 Reviews
Totally NakedTotally Naked

Brewed by:
New Glarus Brewing Company
Wisconsin, United States

Style: American Pale Lager

Alcohol by volume (ABV): 4.25%

Availability: Rotating

Notes / Commercial Description:
Pure and crisp this is a beer with nothing to hide. Wisconsin two-row barley malt ensures a mellow and smooth body. We imported Noble Hop varieties from Germany and the Czech Republic to ensure a fine mature aroma with no coarse bitterness.

Added by cokes on 09-24-2002

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Reviews: 303 | Ratings: 1,133
Photo of mbrasi
1.86/5  rDev -48.6%
look: 3.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 1.5 | feel: 1.5 | overall: 1.5

Pours clear yellow golden with a light white head that dissipates fast. Very clear in glass I can actually see through this brew. I can't remember the last time I drank a beer that I could see through. It actually looks nice on first pour. Aroma is corn and some hops, not too unpleasant. Corn on the flavor, there is something promising in the flavor but it goes away fast..hops. Leaves that nasty watery grain finish in your mouth. I guess this is how a lager is supposed to taste though. Have to get ahold of one of those higher rated beers to know for sure. Not very carbonated and feels like slime in my throat. This is worse than drinking water because it has some flavor in it that I have to wash away using water. Drain pour.

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Photo of bashiba
2.06/5  rDev -43.1%
look: 3 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2

This poured a macro like yellow with a fizzy white head.

The smell had a stale macro quality to it.

The flavor was a bit corny and flat with a light grassy hop finish, very much like a typical mass produced euro pils.

The mouthfeel was watery and thin.

Overall just not real good.

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Photo of Winter
2.11/5  rDev -41.7%
look: 3 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2

Poured a light golden color. White bubbly head thins but never completely disappears. Aroma is a big turn off, with a slighty pungent, unappealing scent. I coudn't really nail it down. Body is thin with a pleasant crispness. Hardly any after-taste, but something seemed oily. I would not buy this beer again and it's a shame because it's the first New Glarus beer to let me down. New Glarus has such a fine stable of flavorful beers, that Totally Naked leaves you Totally Unimpressed.

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Photo of scaliasux
2.15/5  rDev -40.6%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 2

Appearance - Clear, light gold. Bubbly. Thin soapy, white head. Looks like a macrolager.

Smell - Very faint malt and yeast. Pretty hard to detect - even for style.

Taste - Light but rich (a little caramel?) sweet malt flavor. One note, don't really notice any hops. Flavor is more full, and better, than any of the macrobrews. Even so, this is a bit uninspired.

Mouthfeel - Pretty good for a lager. Full and more foamy than bubbly. Not as astringent as many lagers.

Drinkability - I love most of the stuff made by New Glarus. This beer, though, is totally unnecessary. I hope New Glarus sells this stuff to the general public by the truckload, but I don't think I'll be a frequent quaffer.

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Photo of turdinathor
2.44/5  rDev -32.6%
look: 2 | smell: 3 | taste: 2 | feel: 4 | overall: 2

Appearance: golden color, No head, bland appearance.

Smell: not a lot of smell, maybe a little fruit but generally weak.

Taste: Boring, watery, bland, bitter

Mouthfeel: crip clean mouthfeel , very smooth.

Overall: would just like to state that this beer tastes like overpriced miller light. Also reminds me of moon man with out the strong flavor. stay away unless you like boring beer.

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Photo of Arsenal04
2.45/5  rDev -32.3%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2

Pours light gold in a Pilsner glass with a very active body full of carbonation and a busy two finger, foamy head that dissipated completely four minutes after pour. Smell is mildly underwhelming, malt and lemon stand out amongst a background of grain - nothing that catches my attention or stands out so far. Taste is malt driven with an aftertaste that reminds me of Michelob Golden Light or any other American-made Lager - coats the throat in a way that makes me think back to nights gone by where I would have far too many beers for my own good. I had a feeling going into rating this beer that with my limited experience in the craft beer world that I would find too many similarities to the standard Lager beers found in the US. Nothing I would go rushing out to get again.

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Photo of Oxymoron
2.45/5  rDev -32.3%
look: 2.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 2

Co-ed Get Naked? Pours a mostly hazy off-lemony yellow color. Some darker highlights like a dirty blond. The head is light with a good pour left a nice head but did quickly dissipate. Although not completely, living a thin line around the edges.

The nose is overall light. Even for style there should be some grainy and malt hints, but really not much depth at all. There is a slight yeasty note but nothing off flavored. Do I smell DMS?

The taste is more definable then the nose. Pale malt flavor with some lighter grainy touches. A sweeter finish then an American lager but light for a blond. There is a spiciness that is light but reminds me of some peppery notes but could be the hops as there really is none that you can speak of. There is a off finish that reminds me of honey beers but the body is bigger so its off setting.

The body is not exactly big but definitely not crisp. The carbonation helps. Overall, rather simple. I know its easy to blame style but really this could be much better.

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Photo of Seanhillmusiccleaner
2.48/5  rDev -31.5%
look: 3 | smell: 1.75 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 2.5

For the current price of a New Glarus variety pack ($17.99 before taxes), this beer is definitely NOT WORTH IT. I can get a case and then some of Miller Light for this cost, with very little difference in product. This beer is described as an "American Pale Lager", but it sure tastes like a run-of-the-mill, mass-produced American pilsner to me. an In fact, Moon Man is the only beer in the sampler with any redeeming qualities, and that still doesn't come close to the price tag. This company has gotten by on the mere fact that it's only sold in Wisconsin for too long. Craft beer in America has gotten very good and very accessible in the past 20 years. There is nothing special going on with these unlimited releases by New Glarus. Maybe they're simply trying to placate the weekend vacationers and give them something safe, but I'll take my money elsewhere from now on.

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Photo of Phyl21ca
2.5/5  rDev -30.9%
look: 2.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2.5

Bottle courtesy of Monger: Poured a golden color beer with a big pure white bubbly head with minimal retention. Aroma of light sweet malt is quite weak with no noticeable hops. Taste is also dominated by sweet malt which at least is pure malt and not some kind of adjunct. Carbonation is medium with a nice body. I understand they wanted to brew something light but this is a bit too light – I suggest sticking to the Yokel if you want a refreshing lager.

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Photo of Scrumtralecent
2.58/5  rDev -28.7%
look: 3 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 2.5

Poured from a bottle into a pilsner glass.

A - Light light yellow in color with very frothy, airy head. Quite transparent with carbonation bubbles rising upward from the bottom. Quite average.

S - Smell seems a little off to me and these are fresh. Slight hop in there but I have to search for it. Some barley and wheat, but maybe it's the fact that this smell reminds me of BMC products that is turning me off.

T - And...not much. I have to really dig deep to find slight hop, little barley. Very quick crisp taste, with no backend really to speak of.

M - Very light, though I think that was the intent of this one. Some sharp mouthfeel on the cheeks but that quickly fades.

O - This is a really light pilsner and I could see this being a session beer, or beer for a really hot day, but really I need more taste than this. More of really any ingredient. And at 4.25, it's going to take alot of these to get me totally naked.

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Photo of brewdoc75
2.65/5  rDev -26.8%
look: 2.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 3 | feel: 2 | overall: 2.5

A: Light yellow. A little too light. Strong carbonation. Lasting, small white head.

S: Slightly grainy and sweet. Hint of sulfur. Not impressed.

T: Flavors are really lacking. SLight sweetness from the malt followed by a hint of grains. No bad flavors, but not a lot of good ones.

M: Really light. Too light. Watery.

D: This is a very lackluster beer. Better than a macro lager, but not by much. Will not be picking up again.

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Photo of ZAP
2.68/5  rDev -26%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2.5

Not impressed with this at all....has a slight sour taste and finish...malt lends some slight bready/doughy notes but that's about it...Nose has a light graininess to it...just a bad aftertaste on this...I'll take a Milelr High Life over this any day

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Photo of BeerLover99
2.7/5  rDev -25.4%
look: 2.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 3.5

A: clear, pale yellow, small head, sparse lacing in the glass.

S: very subtle grain, malt, and splash of citrus aroma.

T: clean, almost has a macro beer taste, too much grain and not enough body or flavor behind the carbonation.

M: light body, very prickly tongue, big carbonation feel.

D: This is nothing amazing. Great to support a good craft brewery over a big macro or get newbies interested in spreading their drinking wings, but not a must try.

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Photo of samie85
2.72/5  rDev -24.9%
look: 2.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 3

Had this on tap at Uncle Mike's Hwy. Pub in Kenosha; reviewed from notes, originally 6/6/10.

A-Pours a light straw color with a white head.

S-Corny and grainy aromas dominant the nose on this one with maybe the slightest hint of floral hops.

T-Corny and grain upfront, very watery and no discernible bitterness. A little husky and dry on the finish.

M-Thin and pretty watery with carbonation on the heavy side of medium.

D-I mean, it goes down easy, but it's not a very flavorful beer. Definitely a gateway/lawnmower type of beer.

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Photo of IntriqKen
2.73/5  rDev -24.6%
look: 3 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3

This one is what it is.
Pours a pale yellow with a smallish white head that melts rather quickly to a ring of white lacing and occassional stickiness.
Aroma is American Lager Yeast with soft sweet malt and floral hops.
Taste is initially sweet, then the floral hops peek out and try to take over only to be buried by the sweetness of the pale malts again.
Mouthfeel is slick and thick.
This impresses me as a craft version of a BMC.
Not bad...but not for me to go there again.

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Photo of deaconblues
2.73/5  rDev -24.6%
look: 3 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3

Oh. I suppose you could call this "New Glarus Lite." Such a surprisingly boring beer from such a good brewery.

It pours a very light straw yellow, with a small white head, and a little lacing. Nothing impressive to see.

The smell is quite faint, only a very light, sweet scent.

There is little to taste here. Very light malt, with a bit of hoppy bitterness in the end. Just a tiny bit of sweetness in the beginning.

The mouthfeel is about the only real strength of this beer. It is crisp and will go down easily, but there is nothing interesting about it. It would be a nice thirst quencher on a very hot day.

Overall, I am not impressed. What sets it apart from the macro-lagers is that it is less sweet and has a bit more hops. The taste is not much stronger, though. this would be a good beer to give to your friends who love Miller or PBR, but then again, why bother paying the extra cash?

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Photo of Erdinger2003
2.73/5  rDev -24.6%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 2.5

The crisp golden color is clear and the head is present and there is a slight lacing.

Smells like a lager with some spices and a little bit of a soapy flavor in it as well.

Tastes like a lager with a slight amount of spices.

Mouthfeel was smooth, the carbonation was gone, but that could've been because the storage place was the trunk of the car for a few days.

I will try this every year, but I will not go out of my way to grab some.

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Photo of Dotcubed
2.73/5  rDev -24.6%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2

So far I've enjoyied the feNew Glarus beers I've had. I'm not really in to the yellow stuff, but everyone starts somewhere. I('ve had a lot of light styles, and I'd like to put this one towards the top if the pile.

Un-dated, so no telling how old the bottle is. It opened with a very satisfying decompression sound. Plesant head, good lace, and awesome bright yellow chrysanthimum color. Plesantly grassy floral smell.

Naked must really mean naked. This beverage has a watery sensation. Sweet beer-like liquid that falls flat. It's sad. I had such high hopes of a delicately hopped "wunder" beer with a balanced malt character. Instead it presents as a watery lager that tastes like it's been on the shelf too long.

Maybe the hopps were too expensive so they used less, maybe they were trying to create an artsy minimalist beer, or maybe the beer is just old. I'll never know. It's totally sad.

Use to deglaze with. Make a nice chicken sauce.

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Photo of champ103
2.75/5  rDev -24%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 3

I got a mixed twelve pack as a birthday present from my Aunt and her boyfriend. This is the first that I have opened.

A: Pours a perfectly clear macro like yellow color. A two finger white head forms, and leaves some lace behind.
S: The aroma is of toasted grains and cereal malt. A light grassy aroma. Though mostly macro like.
T: Follows the nose, but more of a sour, mineral flavor that reminds me even more of a macro lager. Grainy malt, and cereal again. Blah.
M/D: A light body that is thin and watery. Not hard to drink, but not something I am going to come back to.

Just to much like a macro lager to me. I get that this is suppose to be an easy to drink session, but pretty much like most macros. Maybe the first New Glarus that I just don't like.

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Photo of lakeviewmike
2.76/5  rDev -23.8%
look: 3.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3

Looks like a typical lager, yellow-gold, small head, little retention.

Not much scent.

Taste is very mild. Light hops, light malts.

Mouthfeel is also light and refreshing.

This is drinkable like a Bud light is drinkable. Very light flavor, smooth and fizzy.

A good call? I guess if it is the only thing available besides Bud light.

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Photo of schellsbeer
2.8/5  rDev -22.7%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3 | overall: 2

Thanks to my good friend Greggy for this one. Part of a 6 pack he put together for me. is the review.

A - Classic beer look. Pale straw color. Small white head. Thin. Average looking. Many small bubbles.

S - Classic beer smell. Smells like beer, looks like beer, therefore, it must be beer. Hops, Malt, Barley - all there. Clean smell.

T - Tastes like beer. Plan and simple. Nothing too out of the ordinary. Doesn't suck...Doesn't impress.

M - Average. Beer feel. Better than Macro beers but not much.

D - Since this is not my style, I would have to say that the drinkability is low for me. Not bad by any means but just not for me.

Overall, a great American Pale lager that is there for the average beer drinker that wants a better tasting beer than the macro's can give but also comes with a higher price. Worth it? You be the judge.

1st and last of this one...unless Greg gives me another. Just not my style. But that's ok.

Thanks Greg.

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Photo of shivtim
2.8/5  rDev -22.7%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

Pours a very clear yellow, with an inch or so white foamy head. Smell is corn/grains and a bit metallic. The corn comes through in the taste, but with a little bit of spiciness. It's a bit thin, but not bad. Overall there's nothing malicious about it, it's just not that impressive.

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Photo of Chugmonkey
2.8/5  rDev -22.7%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

Hmmm, not sure what they are trying to achieve here other than cornering the market on mediocrity.

Looks normal, tastes somewhat grainy with an aftertaste I can't quite put my finger on and leaves me totally unsatisfied.

And it's really annoying that they pawn these lackluster things off in their otherwise stellar variety 12packs. Keep moving along, nothing to taste here folks.

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Photo of Viciousknishs
2.8/5  rDev -22.7%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

A- pours straw yellow with a finger of bone white head. Ok retention.

S- buttery crackers with the faintest hint of aspirin floral hop.

T- light cracker malt flavor with a whisper of earthy floral hop. Astringent syrupy sweetness on the finish.

MF- slick oily mouthfeel with a light body. Fizzy carbonation.

D- below average drinkability.

Overall a beer that reminded me to much of high school and bad brew.

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Photo of Franziskaner
2.82/5  rDev -22.1%
look: 2.75 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 3 | feel: 3 | overall: 2.75

Light gold in color. Moderate head of foam off of the pour. I smell...corn and a bit of a vinegar aroma. Not too enticing. The flavor is corn and a quick fade away. Drink this one cold for maximum enjoyment. The mouthfeel is pretty light, like drinking water.

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Totally Naked from New Glarus Brewing Company
3.62 out of 5 based on 1,133 ratings.
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