Totally Naked | New Glarus Brewing Company

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Totally NakedTotally Naked
1,189 Ratings
Totally NakedTotally Naked

Brewed by:
New Glarus Brewing Company
Wisconsin, United States

Style: American Pale Lager

Alcohol by volume (ABV): 4.25%

Availability: Rotating

Notes / Commercial Description:
Pure and crisp this is a beer with nothing to hide. Wisconsin two-row barley malt ensures a mellow and smooth body. We imported Noble Hop varieties from Germany and the Czech Republic to ensure a fine mature aroma with no coarse bitterness.

Added by cokes on 09-24-2002

Bros Score:
User Ratings & Reviews
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Ratings: 1,189 |  Reviews: 315
Photo of Metalmonk
3.6/5  rDev -2.7%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

Pours a huge billowy sea-foam head, with a light golden yellow color one usually associates with bad macros. But for the style it's good, and the splats of lace are nice.

Aroma is sweet corn, or maybe Corn Puffs cereal, and soft lemony Czech-pils hops (the label reveals that Nobel were used).

Sweet malt flavors dominate, having a sugary edge, with a vegetable feel, biscuit, fresh-baked white bread, and mildly fruity hops. Crisp and lightweight in the mouth, though hardly thin, and just enough sizzle from the carbonation.

Drinkability is good, of course, as this is an assuming, light, crisp, unoffensive, well-made beer. It's just not overly exciting, despite being solid and clearly made with more love than your average macro. Not the best by New Glarus, but I'm not sure that's the intent. Hey, go for it if you want to session like hell with a well-made lager.

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Photo of Becker19
3.71/5  rDev +0.3%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 3.5

A golden color pours from the bottle with a head made up of very small bubbles. The foam disappeared quickly and left a tiny amount of lacing around the middle of the glass.

Smell has very faint bread quality. Totally Naked tasted rich with some hops flavor and a medium thickness in mouthfeel.

Drinkability is excellent for this smooth and flavorful light lager.

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Photo of Phyl21ca
2.5/5  rDev -32.4%
look: 2.5 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2.5

Bottle courtesy of Monger: Poured a golden color beer with a big pure white bubbly head with minimal retention. Aroma of light sweet malt is quite weak with no noticeable hops. Taste is also dominated by sweet malt which at least is pure malt and not some kind of adjunct. Carbonation is medium with a nice body. I understand they wanted to brew something light but this is a bit too light – I suggest sticking to the Yokel if you want a refreshing lager.

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Photo of CharlesDarwin
3.02/5  rDev -18.4%
look: 3 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3 | feel: 2 | overall: 3

Originally reviewed March 31, 2007. 12 Oz Bottle. Rich Bartlett Pear aroma, with wafts of salty sea bean and crisp grain sugars. Freshly squeeze lemon juice over crisp, clean apple slices. Beautiful. Pours a sweet golden, with a fuming core and a silky white soap of head. Flavor holds a standard, lightly tart malt, with edges of aged lemon rind and weak sugar syrup. A nip of sweet corn slides in. Thin grain sugars dominate the palate, leaving it a little undesirable with some DMS. However, finishes mostly clean, save for some almonds, before smacking with the faintest hint of distant hop leaves. Acceptable, nothing to write home about.

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Photo of lonestar4lunch
3.62/5  rDev -2.2%
look: 2.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 4 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

First review of many brews brought back from a trip up north. Thanks to the in-laws for driving them back.
Pours a very clear golden hue that is right in line with many American Macros out there. No head to speak of. Maybe be a bit cold but oh well. The aroma is light. Malts and some sweetness. Taste is a nice surprise considering all the hype. Everyone I spoke with in Wisconsin made sure I was aware how much they enjoyed this offering. You pretty much get what you smell. Some nice, almost honey sweetness with some drying malts.
Drinks really smooth and is somewhat refreshing. Really went well with the 90+ temp here in Texas while cooking on the grill. Glad to have brought back a sixer and looking forward to the other New Glarus offerings I have. I could drink this all night.

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Photo of demcorhip
3.81/5  rDev +3%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.5

A golden straw coloured lager poured into an etched pint glass allowed for vibrant, fine streams of carbonation which supported a tight and compact white head. Heavy, thick, and clingy lacings stuck to the inside of the glass and stayed put.

Pale bready malts, a touch of honey like sweetness, and some grain husk present from the malts. Light, floral hop aromas of lemon and fresh cut grass also present.

Clean bready flavours, a mild honeylike touch of maltodextrin sweetness, and some grain husk, taste is very similar to the nose. A very mild yeastiness also present, much like that found in leavening bread dough. Very lightly hopped. Hint of lemon works nicely with the mild honey flavours, and the light, fresh grassy qualities remind of just where barley comes from.

A very clean and refreshing brew, almost crisp, although the slight touch of sweetness and very light hopping prevents a true, crisp feel. Light in body with a smooth and creamy feel, which is nicely contrasted with the fine yet low level of carbonation. Hops play purely a secondary role in this brew, and do not stand up to the lead player, the pale malts. They do have a nice secondary role however, and support the barley in its leading role.

An excellent, highly sessionable, simple summer lager. Very clean, refreshing, and approachable. Complex in its simplicity, and in its own way this simple, well made and tasty lager is as much a testament to the brewing skill of Dan Carey as the more sought after New Glarus offerings. Ill be drinking more of this.

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Photo of renren13
3.53/5  rDev -4.6%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

I poured this bottled beer into a pint glass. The beer had a really nice foamy head that lasted. It has a very nice golden/straw color. It doesn't have too much carbonation which I prefer, and tastes very good for its style. Because of the mouthfeel and pleasant taste this beer is very drinkable.

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Photo of Atron67
3.61/5  rDev -2.4%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.5

A- slightly frosted pale yellow with huge foamy white head, left good lacing too
S- malty, little yeast,
T- like the scents, little bready, sweet clean finish,
M- Sharp carbonation and smooth maltiness, with a light body flows over the tongue well
D- high smoothness and clean crisp flavor make for a highly drinkable beer

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Photo of Mebuzzard
3.54/5  rDev -4.3%
look: 4.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

A rather plain looking label, but unique. Pours a slightly hazed golden amber body and rather large white head for the style, about 3 fingers. Looks really nice, some particles floating around.
Smells of sweet malt mostly and hints of apple and pear. Not really strong.
The apple and pear linger in the taste, but the malt is dominant. However, the malt taste doesn't linger or stick, which is good in my opinion. Leads to a very nice finish and drinkability. Semi crisp, refreshing.

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Photo of mynie
4.28/5  rDev +15.7%
look: 4.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 5

Well that there is one naked looking beer. As clear as can be, a nice shimmering champagne yellow with a GIANT, foamy white head that looks like something magic a kid would pretend to eat.

Smells of three or four distinct nodes of malt. Breadiness, with a slight hint of yeast, Sweetness, like malted milk without the milk (if you've ever munched on some light malted barley you know that taste), and then flowery, like a field.

Tastes very much like it smells, with three layers of fresh, crisp, malt. Flowers up front, sweetness in the back, and a light breadiness coming in, again, with just the lightest kiss of lager yeast. No hop, but none is necessary.

Some might find the sweetness a tad excessive, but I like. This beer is absolutely amazing for its style, and is truly a work of great craftsmanship.

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Photo of SMark
3.3/5  rDev -10.8%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3.5

12 ounces poured at 41 degrees with approximately 1 inch of head which lasted a short time then noticed a few small bubbles would rise to the top. Pale golden in color. No noticeable lacing.

Clean and fresh with no discernable malt of hop aroma.

Good clean fresh taste with some lace work left behind.

Feels good and with a small amount of nice aftertaste.

Cool and somewhat refreshing this is another above average effort from New Glarus.

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Photo of beveritt
3.18/5  rDev -14.1%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

Presentation: Poured from a 12oz brown bottle into a standard pint glass. The label is the typical, simple, paper New Glarus style. Notched on the side, but not sure how to read it. The label mentions two row Wisconsin barley malt and German and Czech noble hops.

Appearance: Pours with a 1/4 inch pure white, creamy head. This falls quickly to just a ring around the glass. The beer itself is an almost perfectly clear yellow, with some bubble activity and some floaties. No evidence of sediment in the bottle.

Smell: Sweet malt with a slightly sour twang.

Taste: Decent carbonation bite upfront, followed by a slightly sweet malt. The slightest of hop bitterness in the finish. Not very complex.

Mouthfeel: Average carbonation level. Good body, feels substantial in your mouth.

Drinkability: A decent lager, good execution of the style. The lighter, less full beers are not my favorite style, but this could be great on a hot day.

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Photo of MrVisegrips
3.8/5  rDev +2.7%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 4 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

A totally naked review for a totally naked beer. The pour, aroma, flavors, finish and mouthfeel were all clean, crisp and smooth making this a highly drinkable and enjoyable brew. Overall, not my favorite from the New Glarus stable, but that still says a lot since I believe that New Glarus is some of the best around.

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Photo of shivtim
2.8/5  rDev -24.3%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

Pours a very clear yellow, with an inch or so white foamy head. Smell is corn/grains and a bit metallic. The corn comes through in the taste, but with a little bit of spiciness. It's a bit thin, but not bad. Overall there's nothing malicious about it, it's just not that impressive.

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Photo of EvilKeith
3.87/5  rDev +4.6%
look: 3.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.5

Totally naked poured into the glass with a chill hazed pale straw color. The head was short-lived creamy white foam that fell to a cap. The lacing was spotty, but suprisingly sticky.
The smell was sweet pale malts, grain and lightly floral and grassy hops. The taste was sweet malts, crisp grain husk and light hop bitterness in the middle. The sweetness returned and ebbed with a vaguely dry finish.
The body was light and the carbonation was light to moderate which gave this a light crisp mouthfeel.
I found this to be a pleasant surprise, not at all what I had expected. Enough flavor to keep it interesting and light enough to be highly drinkable. I could see myself drinking these with some regularity.

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Photo of pweis909
4/5  rDev +8.1%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

I'm reviewing this according to style. As an American-style lager, it is probably the best I've ever had. Still, one always hope that this style will improve, and my ratings leave it room to grow.

It is an easy drinking beer. It's just as clear as a typical american lager, but maybe with a bit more yellow intensity. It is definitely very carbonated. Big head.

Like other american style lagers, it is not very malty. On the other hand, it is not watery. It won't hop-bite you, but unlike others, there is some hop aroma and flavor, it just isn't that bitter.

This might be a good one to introduce to folks who are macro loyalists. They might be able to taste some subtle qualities in this one that are lacking in their macro, without hitting them on the head with a hop hammer.

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Photo of IntriqKen
2.73/5  rDev -26.2%
look: 3 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3

This one is what it is.
Pours a pale yellow with a smallish white head that melts rather quickly to a ring of white lacing and occassional stickiness.
Aroma is American Lager Yeast with soft sweet malt and floral hops.
Taste is initially sweet, then the floral hops peek out and try to take over only to be buried by the sweetness of the pale malts again.
Mouthfeel is slick and thick.
This impresses me as a craft version of a BMC.
Not bad...but not for me to go there again.

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Photo of KarlHungus
3.01/5  rDev -18.6%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 2.5

This brew pours a clear golden color with a lot of visible carbonation. The head is two-fingers in height and recedes slowly into nice lacing. The aroma is balance with malt and noble hops both being present, but neither really shining. The taste is mild and lacking of anything memorable. It leans more toward the malty side of things, as the hops that are in the aroma don't make themselves apparent. The mouthfeel is on the lighter end of the spectrum, and has lively carbonation. Overall, this is a decent beer. However, if I were in the mood for a soft lager I would choose something else like Weihenstephaner Original instead.

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Photo of ryantupy
4.12/5  rDev +11.4%
look: 3.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 4.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

This was a very enjoyable beer and I was glad that I bought an extra six pack of it. It poured a light clear hue with a small bubbly head. It smelled of malts, yeast, maybe even a little caramel. I had trouble putting my finger on a few of the scents. It tasted of sweet maltiness, caramel, and overall very smooth and sweet. It was drinkable and enjoyable but not the best from New Glarus by far. Definatly worth trying however.

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Photo of BuckeyeNation
3.53/5  rDev -4.6%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

"Big and I'm bad
And I want you to know
I hang around
Where the grass is greener
Totally naked, baby
Totally nude"

--Talking Heads

Sun-washed maize beneath a gorgeous crown of pure, bright, cumulus cloud white. This beer looks like summer. The head has a quality look, both immediately after its formation and as it descends. A lovely glass-scape of fragile Wisconsin lace is the capper on an attractive appearance.

This is exactly how an all-malt lager should smell, for better or for worse. It smells like fresh barley malt with very little in the way of accessory aromas. Totally naked is right. A few tasteful fashion accessories would have been nice though. Noble hops? Not very damn many. Points for style adherence (although I'm being generous).

I feel the same way about the flavor that I do about the nose. Sweet, simple, grain-like, absolutely unadorned. Oh well, at least the name and the label tell the drinker what to expect. I still don't appreciate much noble hoppiness. I guess it wouldn't be 'naked' if it had some sort of personality, would it? Sheesh.

The brewery might have taken this concept a bit too far ('what do you mean, it's a show about nothing?). If it wasn't for the moderate malt sweetness--and flaked maize, I'm betting--there wouldn't be anything at all for the taste buds to hang onto. I've said this more than once, but Totally Naked might be the single best crossover brew for BMC drinkers that I've ever tasted.

Like most such simply constructed beer, this one doesn't hold up all that well with warming. The flavor profile doesn't completely break down, but it does noticeably deteriorate as the mercury climbs. Well-chilled is undoubtedly the way to go. Who wants to see a fat naked body? TN's is neither chubby, nor slim, but is somewhere in that wide range called medium. Or mesomorphic if you prefer.

Even though I don't remember too much about Spotted Cow, I had Spotted Cow flashbacks while drinking this beer. They're both sweet and simple and probably fly off the shelves up there in the Badger State. Naked beer sounds like a good idea, but a trip to the hop haberdasher would spiff this one right up and would turn it into something that I might be inclined to buy again.

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Photo of scaliasux
2.15/5  rDev -41.9%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 2

Appearance - Clear, light gold. Bubbly. Thin soapy, white head. Looks like a macrolager.

Smell - Very faint malt and yeast. Pretty hard to detect - even for style.

Taste - Light but rich (a little caramel?) sweet malt flavor. One note, don't really notice any hops. Flavor is more full, and better, than any of the macrobrews. Even so, this is a bit uninspired.

Mouthfeel - Pretty good for a lager. Full and more foamy than bubbly. Not as astringent as many lagers.

Drinkability - I love most of the stuff made by New Glarus. This beer, though, is totally unnecessary. I hope New Glarus sells this stuff to the general public by the truckload, but I don't think I'll be a frequent quaffer.

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Photo of palliko
3.5/5  rDev -5.4%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

Appearance is light yellow with some white foam; aroma is malt, dough, some hops and spice. Initial taste is malts, and some hops. Best when very cold, reminds me of the grassiness of a Sapporo or Coors. Middle keeps a low profile, crisp and clean; finishing with a mild, simple beer taste.

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Photo of ccs
3.7/5  rDev 0%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

A very mild beer, pours a light gold with thin white head. Smell is malty, very slight hops undertone. Very sweet flavor, nicely carbonated. I liked it, but think that there was more flavor in Yokel. This just is a beer. Nothing spectacular, just a good drinkable beer.

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Photo of rhoadsrage
2.98/5  rDev -19.5%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 3

(Served in an American pint glass)

A- This beer has a crystal clear golden yellow body with a thin white ring of head and a strong carbonation.

S- This beer has a light pale malt smell with a note of sulfur and a green bitter noble hop finish. Over all it was pretty light.

T- This beer had a pale malt flavor that was dry followed by a noble hop finish that had a sulfur note.

M- This beer had a light mouth feel with a slight fizz in the finish.

D- Light and light. Not much flavor and a bit boring without being thirst quenching.

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Photo of ZAP
2.68/5  rDev -27.6%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2.5

Not impressed with this at all....has a slight sour taste and finish...malt lends some slight bready/doughy notes but that's about it...Nose has a light graininess to it...just a bad aftertaste on this...I'll take a Milelr High Life over this any day

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Totally Naked from New Glarus Brewing Company
Beer rating: 3.7 out of 5 with 1,189 ratings