Totally Naked | New Glarus Brewing Company

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Totally NakedTotally Naked
1,177 Ratings
Totally NakedTotally Naked

Brewed by:
New Glarus Brewing Company
Wisconsin, United States

Style: American Pale Lager

Alcohol by volume (ABV): 4.25%

Availability: Rotating

Notes / Commercial Description:
Pure and crisp this is a beer with nothing to hide. Wisconsin two-row barley malt ensures a mellow and smooth body. We imported Noble Hop varieties from Germany and the Czech Republic to ensure a fine mature aroma with no coarse bitterness.

Added by cokes on 09-24-2002

Bros Score:
User Ratings & Reviews
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Ratings: 1,177 |  Reviews: 315
Photo of MrVisegrips
3.8/5  rDev +2.7%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 4 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

A totally naked review for a totally naked beer. The pour, aroma, flavors, finish and mouthfeel were all clean, crisp and smooth making this a highly drinkable and enjoyable brew. Overall, not my favorite from the New Glarus stable, but that still says a lot since I believe that New Glarus is some of the best around.

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Photo of shivtim
2.8/5  rDev -24.3%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

Pours a very clear yellow, with an inch or so white foamy head. Smell is corn/grains and a bit metallic. The corn comes through in the taste, but with a little bit of spiciness. It's a bit thin, but not bad. Overall there's nothing malicious about it, it's just not that impressive.

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Photo of EvilKeith
3.87/5  rDev +4.6%
look: 3.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.5

Totally naked poured into the glass with a chill hazed pale straw color. The head was short-lived creamy white foam that fell to a cap. The lacing was spotty, but suprisingly sticky.
The smell was sweet pale malts, grain and lightly floral and grassy hops. The taste was sweet malts, crisp grain husk and light hop bitterness in the middle. The sweetness returned and ebbed with a vaguely dry finish.
The body was light and the carbonation was light to moderate which gave this a light crisp mouthfeel.
I found this to be a pleasant surprise, not at all what I had expected. Enough flavor to keep it interesting and light enough to be highly drinkable. I could see myself drinking these with some regularity.

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Photo of pweis909
4/5  rDev +8.1%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

I'm reviewing this according to style. As an American-style lager, it is probably the best I've ever had. Still, one always hope that this style will improve, and my ratings leave it room to grow.

It is an easy drinking beer. It's just as clear as a typical american lager, but maybe with a bit more yellow intensity. It is definitely very carbonated. Big head.

Like other american style lagers, it is not very malty. On the other hand, it is not watery. It won't hop-bite you, but unlike others, there is some hop aroma and flavor, it just isn't that bitter.

This might be a good one to introduce to folks who are macro loyalists. They might be able to taste some subtle qualities in this one that are lacking in their macro, without hitting them on the head with a hop hammer.

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Photo of IntriqKen
2.73/5  rDev -26.2%
look: 3 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3

This one is what it is.
Pours a pale yellow with a smallish white head that melts rather quickly to a ring of white lacing and occassional stickiness.
Aroma is American Lager Yeast with soft sweet malt and floral hops.
Taste is initially sweet, then the floral hops peek out and try to take over only to be buried by the sweetness of the pale malts again.
Mouthfeel is slick and thick.
This impresses me as a craft version of a BMC.
Not bad...but not for me to go there again.

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Photo of KarlHungus
3.01/5  rDev -18.6%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 2.5

This brew pours a clear golden color with a lot of visible carbonation. The head is two-fingers in height and recedes slowly into nice lacing. The aroma is balance with malt and noble hops both being present, but neither really shining. The taste is mild and lacking of anything memorable. It leans more toward the malty side of things, as the hops that are in the aroma don't make themselves apparent. The mouthfeel is on the lighter end of the spectrum, and has lively carbonation. Overall, this is a decent beer. However, if I were in the mood for a soft lager I would choose something else like Weihenstephaner Original instead.

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Photo of ryantupy
4.12/5  rDev +11.4%
look: 3.5 | smell: 4 | taste: 4.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

This was a very enjoyable beer and I was glad that I bought an extra six pack of it. It poured a light clear hue with a small bubbly head. It smelled of malts, yeast, maybe even a little caramel. I had trouble putting my finger on a few of the scents. It tasted of sweet maltiness, caramel, and overall very smooth and sweet. It was drinkable and enjoyable but not the best from New Glarus by far. Definatly worth trying however.

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Photo of BuckeyeNation
3.53/5  rDev -4.6%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

"Big and I'm bad
And I want you to know
I hang around
Where the grass is greener
Totally naked, baby
Totally nude"

--Talking Heads

Sun-washed maize beneath a gorgeous crown of pure, bright, cumulus cloud white. This beer looks like summer. The head has a quality look, both immediately after its formation and as it descends. A lovely glass-scape of fragile Wisconsin lace is the capper on an attractive appearance.

This is exactly how an all-malt lager should smell, for better or for worse. It smells like fresh barley malt with very little in the way of accessory aromas. Totally naked is right. A few tasteful fashion accessories would have been nice though. Noble hops? Not very damn many. Points for style adherence (although I'm being generous).

I feel the same way about the flavor that I do about the nose. Sweet, simple, grain-like, absolutely unadorned. Oh well, at least the name and the label tell the drinker what to expect. I still don't appreciate much noble hoppiness. I guess it wouldn't be 'naked' if it had some sort of personality, would it? Sheesh.

The brewery might have taken this concept a bit too far ('what do you mean, it's a show about nothing?). If it wasn't for the moderate malt sweetness--and flaked maize, I'm betting--there wouldn't be anything at all for the taste buds to hang onto. I've said this more than once, but Totally Naked might be the single best crossover brew for BMC drinkers that I've ever tasted.

Like most such simply constructed beer, this one doesn't hold up all that well with warming. The flavor profile doesn't completely break down, but it does noticeably deteriorate as the mercury climbs. Well-chilled is undoubtedly the way to go. Who wants to see a fat naked body? TN's is neither chubby, nor slim, but is somewhere in that wide range called medium. Or mesomorphic if you prefer.

Even though I don't remember too much about Spotted Cow, I had Spotted Cow flashbacks while drinking this beer. They're both sweet and simple and probably fly off the shelves up there in the Badger State. Naked beer sounds like a good idea, but a trip to the hop haberdasher would spiff this one right up and would turn it into something that I might be inclined to buy again.

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Photo of scaliasux
2.15/5  rDev -41.9%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 2

Appearance - Clear, light gold. Bubbly. Thin soapy, white head. Looks like a macrolager.

Smell - Very faint malt and yeast. Pretty hard to detect - even for style.

Taste - Light but rich (a little caramel?) sweet malt flavor. One note, don't really notice any hops. Flavor is more full, and better, than any of the macrobrews. Even so, this is a bit uninspired.

Mouthfeel - Pretty good for a lager. Full and more foamy than bubbly. Not as astringent as many lagers.

Drinkability - I love most of the stuff made by New Glarus. This beer, though, is totally unnecessary. I hope New Glarus sells this stuff to the general public by the truckload, but I don't think I'll be a frequent quaffer.

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Photo of palliko
3.5/5  rDev -5.4%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

Appearance is light yellow with some white foam; aroma is malt, dough, some hops and spice. Initial taste is malts, and some hops. Best when very cold, reminds me of the grassiness of a Sapporo or Coors. Middle keeps a low profile, crisp and clean; finishing with a mild, simple beer taste.

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Photo of ccs
3.7/5  rDev 0%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

A very mild beer, pours a light gold with thin white head. Smell is malty, very slight hops undertone. Very sweet flavor, nicely carbonated. I liked it, but think that there was more flavor in Yokel. This just is a beer. Nothing spectacular, just a good drinkable beer.

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Photo of rhoadsrage
2.98/5  rDev -19.5%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 3

(Served in an American pint glass)

A- This beer has a crystal clear golden yellow body with a thin white ring of head and a strong carbonation.

S- This beer has a light pale malt smell with a note of sulfur and a green bitter noble hop finish. Over all it was pretty light.

T- This beer had a pale malt flavor that was dry followed by a noble hop finish that had a sulfur note.

M- This beer had a light mouth feel with a slight fizz in the finish.

D- Light and light. Not much flavor and a bit boring without being thirst quenching.

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Photo of ZAP
2.68/5  rDev -27.6%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2.5

Not impressed with this at all....has a slight sour taste and finish...malt lends some slight bready/doughy notes but that's about it...Nose has a light graininess to it...just a bad aftertaste on this...I'll take a Milelr High Life over this any day

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Photo of badbeer
4.03/5  rDev +8.9%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 4.5 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.5

Crystal clear golden color with a quickly dissipating white head, leaving no lacing. Smell is pretty faint, flowery and a touch of honey. Taste is of honey and corn, paired with the same soft flowery notes perceived in the smell. I don't think it could get much better for the style. Medium carbonation with light/medium body. Great to drink; a simple beer, but I enjoyed it.

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Photo of DaPeculierDane
3.2/5  rDev -13.5%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3 | overall: 4

Pale golden with thin cream colored skim and slight lacing. Light malty aroma. Bread but no hops. Must dusting. Cookie dough sweet taste. Some herbs and grasses. Very clean. Straight forward and one dimensional, heck it’s almost only half a dimension. The only purpose of this beer is to throw it in a cooler, chill it to 35 degrees and slam a dozen or so on a hot day. It’s kind of boring and not really worth $6 for a six pack when held to considerably better alternatives.

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Photo of beveragecaptain
3.23/5  rDev -12.7%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3 | overall: 4

12 ounce bottle. Totally Naked pours out a clear golden color with a large, white head. The aroma is husk with some spice in the background. Husky grain flavor. Spicy hops come in at the middle, but there is very little flavor in the finish. This is even closer to a crappy macro than Spotted Cow. The flavor isn't all that bad, it's just very weak. Mouthfeel is thin. Carbonation is very high. This is definitely one of the less interesting beers from New Glarus.

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Photo of dirtylou
3.57/5  rDev -3.5%
look: 3 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4

12oz single, Riley's, $1.39

appearance: pours a clean watery golden-yellow, nice white foam head, pretty decent lacing, bubbly and clear

smell: pretty pungent lemon-wheat aroma, grassy, very light noble hop presence...for the style, pretty clean and focused aroma

taste: clean and refreshing, nice lemon touch, light noble hop presence, grassy...not super flavourful but it wasnt expected, surprised this isnt pushed into the crossover market like spotted cow

mouthfeel: thin-medium, active carbonation

drinkability: high

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Photo of Erdinger2003
2.73/5  rDev -26.2%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 2.5

The crisp golden color is clear and the head is present and there is a slight lacing.

Smells like a lager with some spices and a little bit of a soapy flavor in it as well.

Tastes like a lager with a slight amount of spices.

Mouthfeel was smooth, the carbonation was gone, but that could've been because the storage place was the trunk of the car for a few days.

I will try this every year, but I will not go out of my way to grab some.

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Photo of orbitalr0x
3.5/5  rDev -5.4%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 4 | feel: 3 | overall: 3.5

The New Glarus Totally Naked pours from the bottle a crisp bright lemony golden yellow with a small bubbly white head that quickly dissapates. Aromas of sweet creamy pale malts upfront with a backing of spicy, grassy hops. Smells fresh and vibrant with a dash of yeast.

First sip brings a smooth, very light sweet pale maltiness. Subtle grain huskiness melds with a mellow spicy, herbal hoppiness that rides in the background. Notes of lemon zest throughout. Finishes extremely clean with just a smidge of lingering hop. A nice all-malt lager, no more and no less.

Mouthfeel is fairly light with a smooth carbonation that rushes across the palate. I'd like to see a bit more body here but it suits the style fairly well and makes for extremely easy drinking. A laid back beer that would do well in the hot summer months when I want to have a sixer on the beach...also would be a wonderful gateway beer for the macro crowd. I'd say this one is worth a shot!

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Photo of garymuchow
3.33/5  rDev -10%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

Aroma shows a nice soft malt character, blended with a slightly spicy hop charactor. Nice mix. Soft and light.
Pale straw. Clear. White head that settles in time. Decent lacing.
Soft ight with classic sour quality of many macro's. Mild bitterness that blends with some dryness. Clean.
Semi-soft, light, hightly carbonated. Appropriate for style. Easy to drink. Some crispness.
Others have asked, and I guess I will too, which is why make this style? I guess they made a version classic for style, even at times possessing an adjunct quality, although not noted as an ingredient it seems like the light white corn.

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Photo of battlekow
2.99/5  rDev -19.2%
look: 2 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3

The name is pretty gimmicky, and so is the beer. It's a very, very pale gold color, looks unfortunately like watery piss. Has almost no odor and taste, except for some maltiness. The carbonation at least gives it an above-average mouthfeel, but otherwise, this beer is by far the weakest offering from New Glarus.

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Photo of Redrover
3.47/5  rDev -6.2%
look: 3 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.5

12 oz brown longneck with the usual understated New Glarus design. No freshness dating.

The beer pours a light yellow with a tight white head.

The nose is of gentle hops and a bit of fresh cut straw.

The taste is fresh, clean and uncomplicated. Just a bit of flowery hops backed with a little malty sweetness. This would be a good gateway or lawnmower beer.

The mouthfeel is decent with nice crisp carbonation. Easy drinker, would be good with a fish fry or other non spicy food. A very basic well done beer.

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Photo of kmpitz2
3/5  rDev -18.9%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

First off, this is NOT an adjunct lager. The brew is made from only malted barley...thus the name totally naked...

Edit: This has been changed. Thank you!

It pours a pale yellow color with a 2 finger head that falls to nothing over the brew. The nose is incredibly grainey, with a slight honey sweetness in it. I'm not the biggest fan, but I think this is what they were going for. The flavor is very grainey and raw, with just a hint of sweetness in the background. Its okay. No real hop or aftertaste, so it is clean and crisp. The feel is light to moderate with a moderate carbonation. I am not sure I would go and buy a 6 of this brew. I'm not the biggest fan of the nose or the flavor. Its just okay. I think it is a good attempt at a barley only brew.

I talked with Deb when I was at NG a few weeks back and she said that this was Dan's baby, as he was so proud of being able to make this beer. I respect it, but its not for me.

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Photo of abents
2.9/5  rDev -21.6%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 3.5

Pours pale yellow with nice white head. Smells of bready malts and slight hint of hops. Tastes very eh. Citrusy hops slight malt, but otherwise nothing. Very kinda bland beer for me. For the style I guess it's one of the better, but not by much. One New Glarus I actually tend to stay away from. Don't get it again. bleh.

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Photo of tavernjef
3.2/5  rDev -13.5%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.5

Color is a clear light yellow with a finger high creamy fluffy white head that stuck around for awhile then faded to a thin ring and some spotty lace. Smell is crisp and clean lightly bready malts and crispy hops with a bit of mustyness. Taste is more of the same with lightly breadish malts, quite full, very fresh and crisp as hell when cold, gets mellower as it warms, the hops are nicely balanced of a herbal grassy notion. But the flavors don't last nor linger, very average for a pale lager. Feel is a bit beefy though comparetively speaking with whats offered in taste; the full crisp feel more then makes up for some of the faultering taste.
Its an OK brew at best and quite surprising from N.G. to put out something of this nature, appealing to the masses and keeping it simple as to not offend I suppose.

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Totally Naked from New Glarus Brewing Company
Beer rating: 3.7 out of 5 with 1,177 ratings