Keisari Lager
Nokian Panimo

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Beer Geek Stats:
European Pale Lager
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2.62 | pDev: 27.48%
Nokian Panimo
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1.72/5  rDev -34.4%
look: 2.75 | smell: 1.25 | taste: 1.75 | feel: 2 | overall: 1.75

"Keisari Lager" (or perhaps "Keisari Lager Premium).

CAN: .5L. Aluminum. Standard pull-tab. Gold & white label. Best before: 11/05/15.

4.50% ABV. 9 EBC. 20 EBU. 40kcal/100ml. Brewed with Magnum and Perle hops.

Expectations are average given the brewery. Served cold into a mason jar at low altitude in Kuopio, Finland. Reviewed live as a pale lager.

No bubble show forms as it's poured.

HEAD: White colour. ~2-2.5 inch width. Very frothy. Foamy, with a bubbly consistency and fair thickness. Not real creamy. Appears somewhat soft. Leaves no lacing as it recedes.

Retention is above average - ~3 minutes.

BODY: Clear translucent transparent pale copper of below average vibrance. Clean, with no visible yeast or hop sediment.

Appears overcarbonated. Generally appealing, but it has no unique or special characteristics.

AROMA: Off-notes abound. Metallic notes and off-putting steamed vegetables dominate, with some cheap pilsner malt lurking beneath.

Has no overt hop profile, no yeast character, and no booze. The malt profile is underwhelming.

Aromatic intensity is average.

In short, it's awful. Suggests a wretched brew that no one would want to drink. I fear the first sip...

TASTE: Cooked vegetables. A hint of a metallic off-note. Cheap pilsner malts. Cheap barley.

Yeah, it's pretty bad. Shallow, simple, off-putting, and lacking in terms of any nuance, complexity/intricacy, and subtlety whatsoever. Not liking this.

Not gestalt, but it has cohesion to the extent that having notes of more or less equal disgust is cohesive.

But, to its credit, it's not watery, overly grainy, cloying, or infected. As atrocious as the (im)balance is, its mild flavour intensity and average flavour duration make the off-putting taste a bit easier to handle. (I'm grasping for positive things to say about it).

TEXTURE: Smooth, wet, unrefreshing, light to medium-bodied, and overcarbonated. It's not buttery, gushed, hot, or boozy, but there is some astringency.

There's no harmony of texture to taste whatsoever. This is a poorly executed mouthfeel, and fails to elevate the beer as a whole or to accentuate specific notes.

OVERALL: Garbage taste, forgettable texture. Since the nasty taste of cooked vegetables overpowers any beer-y flavours, this is decidedly an awful excuse for a beer, and joins the ranks of the worst beers I've ever had. I'll go a step further and offer that it's one of the worst beers brewed in Finland (and that's coming from someone who currently lives in the country).

F (1.72)

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Keisari Lager from Nokian Panimo
Beer rating: 2.62 out of 5 with 3 ratings