Heineken Nederland B.V.

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Heineken Nederland B.V.
Malt Liquor
Ranked #39
Ranked #30,221
2.35 | pDev: 34.89%
Mar 14, 2023
Apr 23, 2004
Notes: Beer with tequila flavor
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Photo of ChainGangGuy
Reviewed by ChainGangGuy from Georgia

1.73/5  rDev -26.4%
look: 2 | smell: 1.5 | taste: 1.5 | feel: 2.5 | overall: 2
Appearance: Pours a golden, crystal clear body. No appreciable head formation as it instantly crackles away like a Sprite.

Smell: The D smells of four generous pumps of raunchy tequila-flavored syrup into a low-grade cheapo lager.

Taste: Quite sugary - artificial lime and tequila additives abound. There seems to be an unenjoyable beer underneath, but it's difficult to discern beyond the tequila lollipop candied deal. Long, loonnggg aftertaste with a weird, chemically twang and final pop of artificial sweetness.

Mouthfeel: Thin-bodied. Soda pop-esque carbonation, kinda fizzly.

Overall: Unpleasantly sweet, remorselessly chemically.
Feb 15, 2023
Photo of byebyeturkeynek
Reviewed by byebyeturkeynek from Sweden

1.11/5  rDev -52.8%
look: 2 | smell: 1 | taste: 1 | feel: 1.5 | overall: 1
This is the worst beer I've ever had. I have nothing positive to say about it. Like, cheap macrobrews get poor reviews because they're boring and uninspired. This isn't boring or uninspired, but I really wish it was. I imagine this is what it would taste like if you mixed Mike's Hard Lemonade with a Busch Light that was left out, half finished the morning after a frat party. Also a hint of cough syrup. Just truly disgusting.

The look is fine, I guess. Fine enough that I thought this purchase could possibly be a good idea. Darker than one might expect, probably artificially colored, if I had to guess. The nose is stale and sweet. A little malty. The taste is like a collaboration between flavors that hate each other. Again, stale and sweet. Slightly acidic maybe, like citric acid was added or something. I don't detect any tequila flavors. None of the vegetal qualities that define tequila. Honestly, I don't think this is even beer. Closer to a flavored malt beverage, but I would pick any flavor of Four Loko over this.

Only try this is if you're curious about how bad it is.
Dec 09, 2022
Photo of guidodewaal
Reviewed by guidodewaal from Netherlands

1.43/5  rDev -39.1%
look: 1.5 | smell: 1 | taste: 1.5 | feel: 2 | overall: 1.5
You have no idea how much this is being drunk here in the Netherlands. Skunky and sweet. Smells awful and tastes like bitter induced bad lemonade. Awfully popular among my friends and peers, no idea why.
Oct 25, 2022
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Reviewed by detgfrsh from Texas

1.55/5  rDev -34%
look: 2 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 1 | feel: 2.25 | overall: 1
From a can purchased in France. Clear golden color with white head. Sweet corn aroma. Medium body. Tastes like sweet grain with a side of cheap tequila. Had this several years ago, but it's still memorable as the worst "beer" I've ever had. Seriously, just drink a better beer and then take a shot of tequila. It'll be more enjoyable that way.
Oct 25, 2022
Rated: 1.63 by MrJones07 from Spain

Oct 24, 2022
Rated: 2.36 by Kiro from Russian Federation

May 02, 2022
Rated: 1.2 by Holderness from Massachusetts

Jan 04, 2022
Photo of MartinWachsmann
Reviewed by MartinWachsmann

1.56/5  rDev -33.6%
look: 3.5 | smell: 1.75 | taste: 1.25 | feel: 1.75 | overall: 1.25
Someone who invented this had to be on solid drugs! Worth mentioning that if someone from higher position who really tasted that in Heineken and said like: “yeah, well that’s something we really have to produce and send out to the market” - they should have get rid of him. Mixing beer with tequila isn’t obviously a good idea and it completely ruins what I see in beer.
Well, someone could like but not me. The flavors don’t work out together for me and are a chaos.
It literally tastes like some messed up radler. Sewage, dishwater - dump it!
Aug 09, 2021
Rated: 1.63 by 54V4G3 from Belgium

Aug 08, 2021
Photo of RaulMondesi
Reviewed by RaulMondesi from California

2.52/5  rDev +7.2%
look: 2 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 3 | overall: 2.5
Sweet hell, is there a hell? If so, this is what they would serve on tap there. Nah, it ain’t that bad… But is it? In reality it tastes like more soda than beer - which is about as cool as a soda tasting like a beer when Raul was a tyke - nope!

Be well, my children.
Aug 03, 2021
Rated: 2.15 by Oleg85 from Russian Federation

Jun 03, 2021
Rated: 1 by BEZMEZ

May 29, 2021
Photo of RoyBrentII
Reviewed by RoyBrentII from Belize

1.81/5  rDev -23%
look: 3 | smell: 2 | taste: 1 | feel: 3 | overall: 2.25
The first words out of my mouth were, "holy shit, what were they thinking?"

Sugar, buttered toast, sugar, and more sugar on the nose. Mouthfeel is not insubstantial, but nothing special. Tastes like someone mixed Budweiser with Sprite, added a few drops of tequila, and a feckton of sugar. I had to add some Guinness to make it palatable—and even then I couldn't finish it.

Cannot recommend this Frankenstein's monster of a 'bier'.
Apr 03, 2021
Rated: 1.28 by sorsh_a_ghlinne from Scotland

Feb 21, 2021
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Reviewed by BelgianHops from Belgium

1.33/5  rDev -43.4%
look: 1.25 | smell: 2 | taste: 1 | feel: 1.25 | overall: 1.25
Desperate. This so undrinkable for any beer-lover. Perhaps the worst beer in the world, alongside Corona and Cubanisto. Truly awful. Stay clear from this stuff.
Aug 13, 2020
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Reviewed by jdurey from Korea (South)

2.09/5  rDev -11.1%
look: 3 | smell: 2 | taste: 2.5 | feel: 1.25 | overall: 1.5
Didn’t want to rate this as a beer, despite the deceptive “lager” appearance. Although upon closer inspection the carbonation is nothing like a true beer. It’s more like a wine cooler. If you look at it that way, there’s less sugar in this...drink...than a wine cooler, so not too awful. Came close to pouring this down the drain but something about it kept me wanting to drink it. Will not buy again, despite the cheap buzz.
Dec 06, 2019
Rated: 2.25 by misteil from Ireland

Nov 29, 2019
Rated: 3.77 by Lanas from Greece

Sep 14, 2019
Rated: 2.25 by Hayley_86 from Netherlands

Jun 30, 2019
Rated: 3.49 by L3ntoo from Illinois

Apr 21, 2019
Rated: 1.95 by EdmundExley from France

Mar 30, 2019
Rated: 2.25 by dafla67 from Pennsylvania

Mar 05, 2019
Photo of TheUnit
Rated by TheUnit from England

3.93/5  rDev +67.2%
look: 3 | smell: 2.5 | taste: 4.75 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 4.5
Not a great smell, but great taste
Jan 30, 2019
Rated: 2.13 by thebooyakid from Hawaii

Sep 27, 2018
Rated: 1.92 by Jbavi360 from New York

May 21, 2018
Rated: 2.5 by cryptichead from Illinois

May 07, 2018
Rated: 2.67 by georgeanthorpe from England

Mar 11, 2018
Rated: 2.75 by Dovers from Wisconsin

Mar 03, 2018
Rated: 2.76 by MrDis from Indiana

Feb 03, 2018
Rated: 2.83 by TwiggyCZ from Czech Republic

Jan 04, 2018
Rated: 2.57 by dandy14 from Brazil

Jan 03, 2018
Rated: 2.5 by mcthfg from Korea (South)

Dec 13, 2017
Rated: 3.37 by Radcpa from Washington

Nov 24, 2017
Rated: 1.94 by McWooze from France

Nov 08, 2017
Rated: 2.06 by CloudStrife1 from England

Oct 29, 2017
Rated: 2.28 by DutchGermanguy from Netherlands

Jul 16, 2017
Rated: 2.02 by mishi_d from Romania

Apr 09, 2017
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Rated by ZinFanDave from Georgia

2/5  rDev -14.9%
look: 2 | smell: 2 | taste: 2 | feel: 2 | overall: 2
Smells like a limeade.
Mar 28, 2017
Desperados from Heineken Nederland B.V.
Beer rating: 58 out of 100 with 293 ratings