Desperados
Heineken Nederland B.V.

 

Appearance: Pours a golden, crystal clear body. No appreciable head formation as it instantly crackles away like a Sprite.

Smell: The D smells of four generous pumps of raunchy tequila-flavored syrup into a low-grade cheapo lager.

Taste: Quite sugary - artificial lime and tequila additives abound. There seems to be an unenjoyable beer underneath, but it's difficult to discern beyond the tequila lollipop candied deal. Long, loonnggg aftertaste with a weird, chemically twang and final pop of artificial sweetness.

Mouthfeel: Thin-bodied. Soda pop-esque carbonation, kinda fizzly.

Overall: Unpleasantly sweet, remorselessly chemically.

This is the worst beer I've ever had. I have nothing positive to say about it. Like, cheap macrobrews get poor reviews because they're boring and uninspired. This isn't boring or uninspired, but I really wish it was. I imagine this is what it would taste like if you mixed Mike's Hard Lemonade with a Busch Light that was left out, half finished the morning after a frat party. Also a hint of cough syrup. Just truly disgusting.

The look is fine, I guess. Fine enough that I thought this purchase could possibly be a good idea. Darker than one might expect, probably artificially colored, if I had to guess. The nose is stale and sweet. A little malty. The taste is like a collaboration between flavors that hate each other. Again, stale and sweet. Slightly acidic maybe, like citric acid was added or something. I don't detect any tequila flavors. None of the vegetal qualities that define tequila. Honestly, I don't think this is even beer. Closer to a flavored malt beverage, but I would pick any flavor of Four Loko over this.

Only try this is if you're curious about how bad it is.

You have no idea how much this is being drunk here in the Netherlands. Skunky and sweet. Smells awful and tastes like bitter induced bad lemonade. Awfully popular among my friends and peers, no idea why.

From a can purchased in France. Clear golden color with white head. Sweet corn aroma. Medium body. Tastes like sweet grain with a side of cheap tequila. Had this several years ago, but it's still memorable as the worst "beer" I've ever had. Seriously, just drink a better beer and then take a shot of tequila. It'll be more enjoyable that way.

 

 

 

 

Someone who invented this had to be on solid drugs! Worth mentioning that if someone from higher position who really tasted that in Heineken and said like: “yeah, well that’s something we really have to produce and send out to the market” - they should have get rid of him. Mixing beer with tequila isn’t obviously a good idea and it completely ruins what I see in beer.
Well, someone could like but not me. The flavors don’t work out together for me and are a chaos.
It literally tastes like some messed up radler. Sewage, dishwater - dump it!

 

Sweet hell, is there a hell? If so, this is what they would serve on tap there. Nah, it ain’t that bad… But is it? In reality it tastes like more soda than beer - which is about as cool as a soda tasting like a beer when Raul was a tyke - nope!

Be well, my children.

 

 

The first words out of my mouth were, "holy shit, what were they thinking?"

Sugar, buttered toast, sugar, and more sugar on the nose. Mouthfeel is not insubstantial, but nothing special. Tastes like someone mixed Budweiser with Sprite, added a few drops of tequila, and a feckton of sugar. I had to add some Guinness to make it palatable—and even then I couldn't finish it.

Cannot recommend this Frankenstein's monster of a 'bier'.

 

Desperate. This so undrinkable for any beer-lover. Perhaps the worst beer in the world, alongside Corona and Cubanisto. Truly awful. Stay clear from this stuff.

Didn’t want to rate this as a beer, despite the deceptive “lager” appearance. Although upon closer inspection the carbonation is nothing like a true beer. It’s more like a wine cooler. If you look at it that way, there’s less sugar in this...drink...than a wine cooler, so not too awful. Came close to pouring this down the drain but something about it kept me wanting to drink it. Will not buy again, despite the cheap buzz.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Not a great smell, but great taste

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Smells like a limeade.