Thirst Mutilator
Short's Brewing Company

Thirst MutilatorThirst Mutilator
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Lager - Helles
3.77 | pDev: 10.08%
Short's Brewing Company
Michigan, United States
Retired (no longer brewed)
Thirst MutilatorThirst Mutilator
Notes: Thirst Mutilator is a light straw-blonde Munich Helles Style Lager with sharp doughy yeast esters that gather atop a perfectly retained head. Pronounced grain flavors of lightly kilned barley produce bready and flour-like qualities that blend pleasantly with mild hop bitterness. Aided by a wonderful effervescence, these delicate flavors fade into a crisp, clean, and refreshing finish.

25 IBU
Reviews: 9 | Ratings: 54 | Log in to view all ratings and sort
Reviews by Tripel_Threat:
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Tripel_Threat from Michigan

3.79/5  rDev +0.5%
look: 4 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 4 | overall: 3.75

Was glad to see this one come back in a variety pack, it's been a while. Pours a Golden colored ale a few fingers of honeycombed white head. Nice aromas of sweet, doughy bread, cracker, and lemon. Aromas carry over to the flavor, with a nice, medium feel. Yeasty bread, lemony without bitterness. Clean.

Aug 05, 2017
More User Reviews:
Photo of akttr
akttr from Michigan

3.5/5  rDev -7.2%

Dec 07, 2014
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szmnnl99 from Michigan

3.6/5  rDev -4.5%
look: 3.75 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.5 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.5

Jul 09, 2017
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webmanspidey from Michigan

3.52/5  rDev -6.6%

Oct 27, 2014
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maximum12 from Minnesota

3.85/5  rDev +2.1%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

Thanks to CaptCleveland for this bottle which was lost in the Potter’s Field of my fridge for…a while. I wasn’t going to review it, but, well, it’s good! Sorry for the foreshadowing. 12 oz. unicorn-banded bottle.

The pour is murky orange, & still has some pop to it. The nose is nice lemon, Hawaiian Buns, with a lager yeast undercarriage. Doesn’t smell old or over the hill. And I know just what over the hill smells like.

Thirst Mutilator must have been a god-brewed beer, because this over two year old lager is still going strong. Lovely lemon right up front with the taste & none of the sharpness, buoyed up by the lager yeast, citrus, honey. Touch of organic crackers & slight hop bitterness right on the end. Crackling carbonation in the mouth adds another layer & hell, if there were lagers like this regularly available, I’d drink a hell of a lot more of them.

Hot damn, what a nice surprise, from expected drain pour to sipping on a very good beer. Short’s needs to train some other U.S. brewers how to make this a good lager!

Nov 08, 2015
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Beerasaurus from Virginia

3.71/5  rDev -1.6%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.75

Jan 25, 2015
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DrDemento456 from Pennsylvania

4.05/5  rDev +7.4%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4.25

I got to say I didn't expect much at all but this beer is very good possibly the best helles lager I have had in some time! The ABV is also stellar while most are 5-6% this one clocks in at 6.7 almost in IPA territory. Very smooth sweet grainy and surprisingly hoppy and can't beat the silly cover art of a pony with chainsaw arms!

Jun 23, 2017
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ssimpson89 from Illinois

4/5  rDev +6.1%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

Jul 14, 2017
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mrebeka from Michigan

3.92/5  rDev +4%

Dec 06, 2014
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StoutHunter from Michigan

3.81/5  rDev +1.1%
look: 3.5 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

I got a bottle of Short's Thirst Mutilator in their new fall variety pack last week for $18.99 at The Lager Mill. I'm in the mood for something on the lighter side tonight and I'm interested too see what Short's can do with Munich Helles Lager, so lets see how it goes. No visible bottling date. Poured from a brown 12oz bottle into a Short's imperial pint glass.

A- The label looks ridiculous and it's by far the weirdest label Short's has done, it's very eye catching. It poured a cloudy pale yellow color that took on more of a darker golden color when held to the light with two fingers worth of creamy white head that died down to a thin ring that stayed till the end and it a little bit of patchy lacing behind. This was a nice looking beer, but i thought it was a little cloudy for the style.

S- The aroma starts off with a lower amount of medium sweetness with the malts being the first to show up and it imparts some light sweet malt, cracker malt, grainy and bread crust like aroma with the cracker malts sticking out the most and there's a creamy aroma showing up in the background along with some clean lager yeast. Up next comes the malts which impart some earthy, grassy and slightly spicy hop aromas with no single aspect sticking out the most. This beer had a pretty nice aroma that seemed to be pretty true to style.

T- The taste seems to be very similar to the aroma and it starts off with a pretty low amount of medium sweetness with the malts still being the first to show up and they impart the same aspects that they did in the aroma with the cracker and bready malts sticking out the most. Up next comes that nice creamy aspect that I got in the aroma and this time it shows up a little more and it's followed by some clean lager yeast. On the finish comes the hops which are on the lighter side and they impart the same aspects that they did in the aroma with no single hoppy aspect sticking out the most and it had a higher amount of low bitterness with a creamy, bready and cracker malt like aftertaste. This was a pretty nice tasting beer that seemed to be true to style.

M- Smooth, crisp, clean, slightly prickly, on the light side of being medium bodied with a medium amount of carbonation. This beer had a good mouthfeel that worked well with it.

Overall I thought this was a nice beer and I thought it was a good example of the style, it seemed pretty true to style and it didn't have any off flavors at all, it had almost everything that I look for in the style. This beer had good drinkability, it was smooth, crisp, clean, slightly prickly, not too filling and that taste did a good job at holding my attention, I could drink more than a few of these especially when it's warm outside. What I like the most about this beer was the drinkability and mouthfeel, they are just what I want from the style. What I liked the least about this beer was the cloudy appearance and the fact that this came out in the fall and not the summer, it would be a great summertime beer. I would buy this beer again and if it was the summer I wouldn't mind being able to by this beer on it's own and in six packs. I would recommend this to anyone who likes the style or just easy drinking Lagers in general. All in all I was happy with this beer, except the cloudy color it had everything that I want out of a Munich Helles Lager and I enjoyed drinking it. It's not my favorite Short's beers, but it is one of the better Munich Helles Lager I've had. Nice job guys, this was a tasty Helles Lager, keep up the hard work.

Nov 05, 2014
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superspak from Ohio

3.88/5  rDev +2.9%
look: 4 | smell: 3.5 | taste: 4 | feel: 4 | overall: 4

12 ounce bottle into lager glass, bottled on 10/13/2014. Pours slightly hazy golden straw color with a 1 finger dense and rocky white head with great retention, that reduces to a nice cap that lingers. Spotty soapy lacing clings down the glass, with a good amount of streaming carbonation retaining the head. Aromas of lemon, cracker, bread, light honey, herbal, grass, light pepper, and yeast earthiness. Nice and pleasant aromas with good balance of pale malt, earthy hops, and yeast ester notes; with solid strength. Taste of lemon, cracker, biscuit, light honey, herbal, grass, light pepper, and yeast earthiness. Light earthy bitterness on the finish; with lingering notes of lemon, cracker, biscuit, light honey, herbal, grass, light pepper, and yeast earthiness on the finish for a good bit. Very nice robustness and balance of pale malt, earthy hops, and yeast ester flavors; with a good malt/bitterness balance and zero cloying flavors after the finish. Very clean flavors with minimal yeast esters noticeable. Medium carbonation and body; with a smooth, crisp, and slightly creamy/bready mouthfeel that is nice. Alcohol is well hidden with minimal warming present after the finish. Overall this is a very nice Munich helles style. All around good balance and robustness of pale malt, earthy hops, and yeast ester flavors; and very smooth and crisp to drink. A very enjoyable offering.

Nov 08, 2014
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rkf1976 from Michigan

3.32/5  rDev -11.9%

Nov 01, 2014
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cb8282 from Michigan

4.25/5  rDev +12.7%

Nov 13, 2014
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FlyingHellfish from Michigan

3.75/5  rDev -0.5%

Nov 16, 2014
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Rostie from Michigan

3/5  rDev -20.4%
look: 3 | smell: 3 | taste: 3 | feel: 3 | overall: 3

Feb 09, 2018
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jduprey007 from Michigan

3.89/5  rDev +3.2%
look: 4 | smell: 4.25 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.75

Dec 20, 2014
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Zaphog from Michigan

3.5/5  rDev -7.2%

Nov 01, 2014
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Taphouse_Traveler from Florida

3.9/5  rDev +3.4%
look: 3.75 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 4 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 4

Jun 07, 2017
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beergorrilla from Michigan

3.5/5  rDev -7.2%

Nov 10, 2014
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tectactoe from Michigan

4/5  rDev +6.1%

Nov 12, 2014
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DMarlinJ from Michigan

3.98/5  rDev +5.6%
look: 4.25 | smell: 3.75 | taste: 4 | feel: 4.25 | overall: 4

Apr 17, 2015
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Tracker83 from Michigan

3.56/5  rDev -5.6%
look: 4 | smell: 3 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.5 | overall: 3.75

Dec 20, 2014
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jbaker67 from Pennsylvania

3.83/5  rDev +1.6%
look: 4 | smell: 4 | taste: 3.75 | feel: 3.75 | overall: 3.75

Dec 13, 2014
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alelover from Michigan

4/5  rDev +6.1%

Oct 28, 2014
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Kerrie from Michigan

3/5  rDev -20.4%

Nov 14, 2014
Thirst Mutilator from Short's Brewing Company
Beer rating: 84 out of 100 with 54 ratings