SWTFYW Hints and Hauls!!!

Every time a new brewery says "We focus on traditional English/German styles" all I hear is "We want to be one of the cool kids on the brewing block but have no idea what we're doing."

 

See, I can get on board if you're using those styles as platforms before trying interesting things. But if you're just opening a brewery to serve German/English/Irish standard styles only, then you may as well tell me this is your head brewer:

(I realize there are exceptions..)

 

I was curious about that brewary. I guess I can hold off on trying them for now

 

Yeah not worth the drive for you. Their Trinity Smoked Irish is ok and my favorite of the bunch but they all seem so watered down and way undercarbed. I'll have to give them another try to see if there was improvement.

 

The only pigeon holed one style breweries I am ok with are those doing only farmhouse/sours, a la Crooked Stave and Jester King. That still allows plenty of range of beers. Everyone else is just limiting their customer base and revenue, its a dumb strategy. If I get my doors open down the road we will "Specialize is Awesome/Tasty Brews."

 

We BWTFWW

 

i still havent partied on your berliner. may do that today now.

 

pr0n!

I left early to go rescue a @bruindre box from the heat and I'm glad I did! Thanks a lot, man. Your box will be back on it's way Monday(we had a fallen soldier apparently...everyone bow their heads in silence for a sip).

I couldn't tell if these were beers or missiles. I wasn't wrong w/ either guess.



Clown Shoes - Billionaire - Big Want, been wanting this since I saw the new releases thread
MBC - Dinner - Also Big Want!
JA - Baby Maker - Want, also what got this conversation started
Two Roads - Road 2 Ruin - Never heard of, can't wait to try
Trillium - Congress Street - Want, Loved everything I've tried from these guys, can't wait!
Oxbow - Blended Oxtoberfest - Never heard of, but sounds quite interesting!
Night Shift - Ever Weisse - Want

Thanks again, man!

 

I truly and honestly believe it's a way for nooby brewers to get away with making shitty boring beer, by basically saying, "Oh, we're doing it on purpose." If they started out by saying, "We're going to blow your beersocks off with the most panty moistening thing you've ever put in your mouth," and then they flagship an ESB with the occasional limited release English Pale with an "uber experimental walez hop varietal from Old Man McSpankershit's backyard retaining wall in jolly old Britain so you know it's good mate" or a rare Helles made with "only the finest and hardest to get Irish Moss right before we filter the beer," then they're pretty much shooting themselves in the dick.

 

I'm in this category

 

Is this your marketing strategy when you open up your brewary? I'd drink there
Edit: that should be your business plan.

 

And his glasses will actually be in the shape of tits. There will be big tits (20oz) and little tits (16oz) and because of the rounded bottom, there will need to be a special holder for the tits--we'll call it a bra. Tuesdays will be two for one days where you get a pair of tits for the price of one.

 

id go al bundy on this - big un's

 

I'll see y'all in that tap room!!!

 

"Here at Anthropic Ales, we brew beer with our hands and other body parts. It's sofa king good that you'll ask your friend to borrow money to buy beer and then never intend to pay him back. Come drink this beer and like it or I'll slap you in the face with a soft velvet glove. We specialize in English and German styles specifically. Just kidding, that shit's for losers. We specialize in probing your brain with the mindnumbing awesome juice and knocking you out with taste and/or excessive amount of alcohol. Remember that one time in Phoenix when you went home with that stripper named Mandy that fucked you so good that you literally cried the next day and spent the weekend trying to find her again and she left a void in your soul that could only be replaced with more? Just call us Mandy."

 

i know just what you mean

 

Brought a tear to my eye, modern day poetry!

 

"Mandy" stole my wallet when I passed out

 

To the guys that won the #hoist2heroes LIF, I'm sending out your boxes tomorrow morning. Boxes should land between Friday and Saturday. Lemme know if you need me to hold off on sending. Each box contains a growler of Morning Bell so I'll have to chug it if you can be there to get it.

 

That's it, my first commercial beer will be called Mandy. It will be a full-bodied amber, that begs to be in your mouth. My next beer will be called "Whalezbro", made with bits of real unicorn, barrel-aged with baby panda tears. BWTFWW Project.