Why can't I find a beer I like?

First off, there are no hundreds of variations on coke because there's not a whole lot of interesting variations on throwing a bunch of high fructose corn syrup in carbonated water, and because there's no alcohol in it (At least until I get to it). Also brands like Coke have small variations in every region of the world based on local tastes and the cheapest local sweeteners. There's really no demand for variety there, the Coke consumer base just likes overpowering acidic sweetness.

Second, it sounds like you're just not a fan of beer. Nothing wrong with that. I am not a fan of kumquats, and therefore I do not post on Kumquat Advocate.

 

Smirnoff Ice or Twisted Tea is going to be right up your alley

 

To the OP...I would venture to say you're just not a beer drinker. No big deal, just move on. Why waste time searching? As far as drinking for the alcohol, I know I do. I'm not saying I drink to get high or drunk, but I do enjoy relaxing with a brew and the good feeling I get from a slight buzz. If I didn't get that then I wouldn't drink it just for the flavor. "BUT" there are also other alcoholic beverages and liquor that I don't drink. I enjoy beer for the whole package...taste and alcohol. But yes, beer is my choice of "alcoholic" beverage. I wouldn't drink an alcohol free beer, there are many other beverages that taste much better than beer for that. Milkshakes, sodas, juice, ice tea...
Without the alcohol I don't see the point.

But you may as well just consider beer to not be your thing.

 

Honestly, this is an absolutely ridiculous post. I almost think the person is kidding, or trying to play some kind of joke. Someone who thinks this way can't honestly like beer. It's a completely irrational thought.

 

The OP's troll has been incredibly successful. Well done OP.

 

Well, if the OP doesn't enjoy beer, we must all be wrong. I'm going to spend the next thirty minutes or so drainpouring my stock pile of awesome beer. Thanks for showing me the way!

 

Just upping my post count

 

Maybe you just don't like beer. Why are you trying to force it? This reminds of when my Dad tried to get me to like Scotch. I tried and tried and tried, but I don't like Scotch.

 

At the risk of giving a serious reply to a troll, it may be that you are a member of the small percentage of the population that is incredibly sensitive to certain flavors, usually bitterness. Do you usually use more salt than a normal person would? This is common among such individuals as salt tends to counter bitter flavors. If you would like to continue looking for beers I would recommend looking for a slightly sour wheat beer made with salt called a Gose. You should probably be able to find one somewhere. See how that works for you before you give up entirely.

Serious response over, resume snarking ;-)

 

Funniest post I've seen in a loooong while.

 

You sound like my wife.

Try Lindemans Framboise.

 

Don't tell that to Mr. Lahey or Randy-Bo-Bandy. Mr. Lahey IS the liquor.


(Sorry, couldn't help myself... but Trailer Park Boys is some ridiculous shit to watch on Netflix)

 

You my friend have excellent taste in beer-My favorites very similar-La fin for allagash,Vitus for heffeweizen and Matilda for Matilda ,Fegleys hopsolutely At 11.5% abv for Abbey Ale. In any case maybe this person does not like beer.There is no shame in not liking something.Don't ever force yourself into liking what you cannot like and if you wish to have a light beer to fit in so be it. Most of us on BA are good guys and gals and for the most part we as a group are very respectful of every one.Most of us who love beer and that is why we are here drink DIPA's and IPA's-I thought about a long time and have come to the conclusion that where we wind up in our adventure's.We are very lucky-the US is awash in great DIPA's and IPA's but as my friend explained this is the road we took with Belgiums-tripels and dubbles and German pilsners and Hefe's

 

After that you won't be able to stand or form sentences

 

This..

 

There are too stores that offer variations on the big names of soda. What are you talking about? Craft soda stores offer entire shelves of colas, dr pepper types, creams, and root beers, as well as tons of experimental ones and vintage remakes. Just because it isn't on a billboard doesn't mean it can't be amazing.

 

CRAP! Here I am, spending all my money and time on this delicious, delicious liquid, and now it turns out I dont truly enjoy it What a fool I have made of myself.

 

What I find strange is people who are forcing themselves to like something. Somehow, that just doesn't make much sense. Especially if it involves alcohol.

 

Sugar... in water
http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120521120406/men-in-black/images/6/69/Edgar-human_SS_01.jpg

 

Aventinus eisbock drain pour..... Blasphemy