SWTFYW Hints and Hauls!!!

A piece of rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve your kind." The rope goes outside, ties himself in a knot and frays one end of himself. He walks back into the bar and the bartender says, "Weren't you just in here?" The rope replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot.

 

A Panda walks into a bar, orders a salad. Eats the sadal, pulls out a gun and shhots the bartender and walks out. Bartender says"what the fuck?" Panda ays, "I'm a Panda, look it up" .
Definition, Panda---eats shoots and leaves.

edit--sorry, really drunk

 

A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says we don't serve bears. The bear gets so angry that he eats an older rough looking lady at the end of the bar. The bear asked the bartender for a beer again. The bartender says no...we especially don't serve bears on DRUGS! The bear says huh??? The bartender looks at him and says that bar-bitch-u-ate!

 

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?"

 

Got damn I love a pun

 

Hmmm... Leader????

 

I suppose I don't share your love of puns, but I hope not...it's your LIF though, so I guess if puns will win the game I need to find some good ones.

 

1. a gaggle of boners walk into a bar, barternder says, "whats up?". the boners looks at him, shake their heads and laugh, and say, "us you fucking idiot!". yes, i just made that up. i, too, am drunk like @zekeman17.

 

How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews it.

 

Green Man had some sours? Were they bottled? If not, I hope they bottle some soon.

#drunj

So, I was outside most of the day sanding and staining a picnic table we got off Craigslist. Ya know, cuz why buy something when you can buy a shittier version on Craigslist that you then have to exert manual labor on!? Anyway...I come inside to find this wonderful surprise!


Also, whoever sent this box before had a shit ton of Charlton Heston stamps!

Thanks @anticipation23!!! I, too, will find your address. And use it.

 

You were drunkin funk like I was, or am, whatever.

 

Wow--ties right in with the Moses thing from the post before this--how did he know???

 

i am handsome. ask my wife.

 

To get this joke you will have to have read all 413 pages.....

2) How many "SWTFYWers" does it take to change a lightbulb? 9 of them, because @CTJman asks
@Cuzco for a new one but since he is never around @CTJman has to make a trade with @007 for the next to last bulb on the planet but instead of 007 shipping, he decided to sell it. So @CTJman traded some fuzzy baby ducks to @sandman3479 for the last bulb on the planet and utilized @Haywire's marine skillz to track down and capture the mythical unicorn who then runs, jumps off of @Houser's blow up doll to spread its illustrious wings to soar high enough to jam that bulb right into the socket (hahaha jam the bulb into the socket...) while @Dicers lurks off in the shadows and @TheBeerAlmanac's wife or wife sister stands in the background with a baby in her arms while we all check out her butt and @RayOhioFelton crys about his terrible Ohio football teams...

LYMI

 

Sometimes they do, but not usually. They put out new things so often, and treatments of old things, that I think Wayne has ADHD. He has made so many great beers that get released once, or are a growler fill only, then they just disappear. With their new canning line we keep hearing rumors of a berliner in cans for the summer, but I haven't seen it yet. My fingers are crossed, though.

I'm glad you enjoyed that tangerine berliner. I thought it was really good. I kicked myself for only buying 8 of those. I'll tell you, though, I thought the margarita gose was even better than that one.

 

So I'm old and drunk and just can't hang anymore--9:00 and time for bed--sad.

 

Why did turd007 cross the road?


















To steal yo fuckin beer.


















Too soon.

 

I will cut you and @CTJman will disembowel you

 

Just returned from a really nice wedding a few hours ago... I'm exhausted and sunburnt

 

A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.