Funny things your BMC friends say when given craft.

I recently went to the local sports bar with my Bud Light Lime loving best friend to watch the Michigan State men's basketball game. I was enjoying a nice pint of Hopslam and he ordered a Corona Light, as is typical of him in these types of places. Shortly after, A few ladies come in and just so happen to sit next to him at the bar. He instantly engages them in conversation ( He chases tail everywhere he goes, And he fails 99.9% of the time ). One of the girls noticed my Hopslam and asked what it was, So I told her. My friend then commences his bullshitting. He tells her " Yeah, the only time I drink Corona is when I'm washing my mouth out in between craft beer ". She then goes on to ask what a craft beer is. He replies, And I quote " Breweries like Bell's, Funders, Lagnitas, ". Yeah that's right, He can't even say the names of the breweries right. Anyway, He chugs down his Corona and in what I'm assuming is an attempt to impress these ladies, Orders a Hopslam. As soon as the pint is sat down in front of him he takes a large gulp. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. He looked as though it was about to start crying, But he also looked as though the beer was sour. He quickly fixed his face and said " Damn that's a good beer ". I ended up drinking the rest of the pint for him.

 

There must be a lot more people out there that drink horse piss, sweaty assholes, dingleberries, and dirty feet than I realized. Given my limited experience drinking these things, I would be hard pressed to describe beer that way.

 

My dad earnestly asked me if Torpedo is a beer. Called me confused. Drainpour

 

u

You have succeeded as a father

 

My best friend and I were at a little european-style bar with limited taps and bottles and I had just ordered a Guinness. A random guy came up to the bar to order this Budweiser and commented, "Enjoying your ice cream?", referring to the ample head. I chuckled as he went on about "Isn't that too thick/heavy/etc?" and I proceeded to explain to him how my Guinness would likely float on top of his beer in a glass. He actually listened and seemed interested.

 

Typical answers from my AB-INBEV drinking friends...

"No thanks, i don't want to ruin the flavor of my bud light"
"I don't like dark beers... they're to heavy."
"I don't like anything that's not made by Budweiser."

 

"No I don't drink that foofy stuff."

 

"Tastes like an IPA."
Is actually green flash double stout.

 

Took a friend of mine to KTG day a few years back. He said it tastes like chocolate syrup beer. He refers to any stout as such now.

 

"This tastes like Sam Adams"

 

"This is too hoppy"... Oh yeah? That gruit that I just gave you?

 

My family says the same thing too me. I always crack a bottle of surly darkness during Christmas and my uncle always asks me how the "motor oil" tastes.

 

Budweiser Miller Coors

 

One of my brother's buddies tried my surly furious once and told me it tasted like bong water. I couldn't help myself, i had too make a smartass comment about his bud light.

 

"I don't like beer I have to chew."

 

"Have you had the Bud Light Lime-A-Rita?! That stuff will **** you up, it's freaking 8%!!!"

 

"Why would you want your beer to be bitter?"

 

One friend refers to any hoppy beer negatively as Lychee beer. Another friend thinks they all taste like....coffee!?? I don't get the coffee one, but i can understand the Lychee comment.

 

" Tastes like beef ramen noodles and tomato soup! This is fucking terrible! Where the hell did my Bud Light Lime go? "

My friend when given a drink of my Trois Pistoles.

 

heard that many times. It could be a smokey bock and people will say, it reminds me of guiness. I guess everything tastes like chicken too.