Beer snob stories

Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by 5thOhio, Jan 16, 2013.

  1. 5thOhio

    5thOhio May 13, 2007 South Carolina

    Yeah, but no one ever writes, "if you don't like the taste..."

    It's always "I'm not too good to drink a BMC" or "admit it, a cold BMC tastes good on a hot day" or "It would be rude for me to turn down a beer if a friend offered it" or other variations of the belief that everyone actually likes the taste of an AAL, but some of us just won't admit it.
     
    pjeagles and LeRose like this.
  2. Kenzie

    Kenzie Feb 23, 2013 Utah

    The restaurant industry has become the same way. People decide on what kind of dining experience they are going to have by internet ratings instead of randomly choosing something you have never tried before that could lead to an astonishing outcome.
     
    robconoclast likes this.
  3. John_M

    John_M Oct 25, 2003 Oregon
    Moderator Beer Trader

    I'm not sure why. Years ago I worked at a wine store and it was pretty common for some customers to come in with the latest Wine Advocate or Wine Spectator, selecting different wines based on the reviews in those publications. For that matter, increasingly I come across liquor stores where they've posted the BA or RB scores on the shelves. I'm assuming they wouldn't do that if there weren't a lot of customers interested in that information.

    Frankly, I see this kind of behavior as generally a good thing. It tells me that folks are interested in trying new beers, and that they also want to sample beers that other folks (for whatever reason) think are good. Nothing wrong with that in my book (I frequently want to try a new beer, simply because it gets a high BA score and I want to see what all the fuss is about).

    Of course it can go to far. The wine industry has long made fun of folks who buy different wine based solely on the scores they get from Parker or the WS. There was one cartoon card that I think you'll appreciate:

    A guy goes into a store, and sees that a number of bottles of wine are open for sampling. He tries the first wine in the sequence, grimaces, and says "Wow, this is terrible. I can't believe anyone would want to buy this stuff." Where upon the the store salesman (who is looking over some list), without batting an eye, says "well you know, it just recently got a 92 in the latest edition of the Wine Dictator." The guy does a startled double take, pulls out his wallet, and says: "Quick, give me 3 cases, and let me know when you get your next shipment in."

    Cheers!
     
  4. Stugotzo

    Stugotzo Jun 13, 2012 Florida

    If more people were this discriminating about their sexual partners, there'd be a lot less STDs going around. :D
     
    5thOhio likes this.
  5. John_M

    John_M Oct 25, 2003 Oregon
    Moderator Beer Trader

    Completely agree with all your points, but there's another factor as well.

    I'm getting up there in years, and I just can't handle my alcohol the way I once could (or at least the way I thought I could). So I'm selective about the alcoholic beverages I put in my body, and I definitely don't want to consume an alcholic beverage just because it would be polite, it's a hot day, or it's free. I flat out no longer want to drink a beer that I find mediocre, and I'll even walk away from a glass of craft beer if it's something I'm not enjoying (regardless of how much I paid for it).

    There's a time and a place for everything, and so there are times when I'm not always in the mood for a DIPA, an RIS or a farmhouse ale/saison. And yes, there are times when I'm in the mood for something light and refreshing, but IMHO, that still leaves no room for an AAL. Pils, helles lagers, wits and hefeweizens more than fill the bill for me in that regard, and that's what I go with when I want something lighter that also has some flavor.

    In the last 10 years, I can count on one hand how many AAL's I've tried, and in those instances it was either as a joke or out of sense of morbid curiosity (I'm looking at you bud select 55 and bud lite platinum). At least to my palate, those beers were not enjoyable, and there's no way I would ever drink them (no matter what the circumstances). In every case, I dumped the beer after the first few sips and ordered something with more flavor that I found enjoyable.

    Each to their own, I'm certainly not trying to talk anyone out of drinking macro swill if that's what floats their boat. At least for me however, my days of drinking BMC, under any circumstances, are long since over.
     
  6. Badger72

    Badger72 Mar 8, 2013 Louisiana

    I agree that beer snobs are in the BMC world as well. Case in point my father in law and his friends always make jabs at each other because half of them drink Coors light and the other half drinks Miller light. Both sides say the other is swill... I usually just sit back and laugh on the inside
     
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  7. distantmantra

    distantmantra May 23, 2011 Washington
    Beer Trader

    I was in Omaha visiting my wife's family a couple years ago around Christmas time, so we went to the dive bar around the corner from their house (The VIP). I asked the waitress if they had anything local... "Nope." Then I asked what they had on tap. "We just have bottles."

    I ultimately got a Bud Light, but felt like a douche.
     
  8. Badger72

    Badger72 Mar 8, 2013 Louisiana

    My biggest pet pieve is when I ask a waitress what kind of beer they have and they always start of by saying Bud, Bud light, Miller light, etc. Like I've been living under a rock and don't know that I can get a Bud or Miller beer anywhere I go. I never say anything, but it always irritates me.
     
  9. totalbangover

    totalbangover Jul 3, 2012 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    My wife gets into good beer but her default is to always drink it straight out of the bottle. I've seen her try to pull this with Zombie Dust, Backwoods Bastard, etc.

    I wait until she gets preoccupied with something before stealthily pouring into the appropriate glassware and leaving the glass where the bottle used to be.

    She rolls her eyes now but will eventually come around ;)
     
  10. LCB_Hostage

    LCB_Hostage Jan 30, 2013 Pennsylvania

    There's a "gastro-pub" in my area that advertises over 300 beers. Unfortunately their website is undergoing a redesign or I'd post a screen-grab of part of the beer list they post on the site. The list the beers by category with a brief 2-3 word description for each. My favorite is in the lager category where they list, in part:

    Underdog Atlantic Lager Classic American Lager
    Victory Lager Crisp, pale lager
    Budweiser Water

    Kinda obnoxious, but still funny.
     
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  11. Bones10

    Bones10 Feb 23, 2013 Illinois

    I'm guilty of being new to the craft scene and am trying very hard to not seem assyholy about my newfond beer muscles. I get that a lot of hops and rich malts are foreign to most, but most of my friends are not into the craft scene. I try to keep some Bells Amber Ale in the fridge at all times. When family and friends come by, it's offered as a portal to my new world. Sometimes I get good responses, sometimes I get a curious inquiry, but I have yet to get a "yeechhh". What I've realized as I type this is that I am an introductory beer snob as I seem to believe Bells Amber is the key to making converts. As to the question posed in January, I am too new to be a snob, although I rarely drink away from home.

    Cheers!
     
    BullBearHawk likes this.
  12. PeterJ

    PeterJ Dec 5, 2012 California

    What if she just prefers drinking it out of the bottle? I personally don't do it, but if that's what she likes then more power to her.
     
  13. mikedbekim

    mikedbekim Feb 16, 2013 California
    Beer Trader

    I was quaffing horseblanket. Guys asks what I "drink". I shoot with gun.
     
  14. patto1ro

    patto1ro Apr 26, 2004 Netherlands
    Subscriber

    I was in Amsterdam Central Station and wanted to pick up a couple of beers for the train ride to Belgium. The two places that sell beer in the station both had a choice of Heineken Pils or Amstel Pils. So I got two cans of Heineken. I'd been hoping for a super-strong Lager - Bavaria 8.6 or something like that. Not because it's a better beer (it isn't) but for the extra oomph.
     
    Chaz likes this.
  15. MichiganderHB

    MichiganderHB Feb 7, 2012 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    My beer snobbery comes out with my barbecue buddies. I participate in a barbecue forum and it drives my nuts to see a plate of beef brisket or pulled pork that someone has taken 12-15 hours to prepare, cook and plate to perfection....and then you see a can of Natty Light on the table.

    I guess you can liken it to washing down a McD's cheeseburger with a bottle of KBS.
     
    marieow, Sam_C, jdmandel and 3 others like this.
  16. totalbangover

    totalbangover Jul 3, 2012 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    Yeah, and what if Buffalo Wild Wings really does prefer MGD?

    I thought nothing of drinking a nice beer out of the bottle for years but eventually came to the realization that if you pour into the right glass it's a much fuller experience, allowing appreciation of elements of the beer that drinking out of the bottle don't make possible. If she's drinking a Leinie's Summer Shandy, whatever. But if she's drinking a Double Crooked Tree I feel like I'm watching a crime being committed. I believe that eventually she'll see this difference that's so clear to me and will say, "you know, you were right".

    I realize I come across as a snob when I pour my wife's beer into a glass. That's why I posted on the beer snob stories thread.
     
  17. Stugotzo

    Stugotzo Jun 13, 2012 Florida

    Pirates use a ship's wheel to do the same thing.
     
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  18. Handyandy58

    Handyandy58 Aug 3, 2011 California

    One of my friends made an outraged Facebook post last summer about how a lot of the Olympics gear for Team USA was made overseas. He and some his friends have a bit of a back and forth about it, all proclaiming that it's bullshit. Eventually, one claimed that at least beer was still American. Then the following occurred:
    [​IMG]

    So he was right, there are a few beers, but not the ones these guys drink.
     
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  19. chiefojibwa

    chiefojibwa May 19, 2009 Washington

    hey, i'm not an alcoholic, so i can turn down a beer that i don't enjoy.
     
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  20. cosmicevan

    cosmicevan Dec 13, 2009 New York
    Beer Trader

    i like that. i think i'm gonna say that next time i'm offered some crap beer. picture this...sicily 1922...

    friend-ish type person: hey cosmic...what, you too good to drink some bud light?
    me: no, definitely not too good. it is a lot like food to me. i'm not gonna eat monkey brains with doody soup just because that's what the host is serving. i'm cool to just hang out and grab a slice on the way home. this water is actually hitting the spot right now.
    friend-ish type person: oh give me a break...you're just a beer snob. you think you are better than us with your mini-breweries.
    me: you mean micro-breweries?
    friend-ish type person: see, there you go again. look, you don't look like eric clapton or chuck noris...you look like that looser freddie mac...and you ARE a beer snob.
    me: just because i'm not an alcoholic and i can say no to beer that tastes like someone spit in a cup of piss doesn't mean i think i'm better than you. it just means that i know what i like and i'd rather be the DD tonight and get to imbibe on an evening where the refreshments are more my speed.
    friend-ish type person: <face turns to a grimace - picks up phone and dials>Chuck! Chuck, it's Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Berry. You know that new sound you're looking for? Well, listen to this!
    [holds the receiver out - throws punch at me]
    me: <gets slammed in the head, falls to the floor...spills glass of water that i was nursing>

    note to self...duck next time. preferably duck duck gooze
     
  21. DropDead

    DropDead Feb 6, 2013 Illinois

    There are two reasons to drink alcohol for me
    1) To catch a buzz
    or
    2) To enjoy the taste

    Crappy lagers don't have an enjoyable taste and with their low abv it's pretty hard to catch a good buzz so it's a lose-lose. Moral of the story is: if you want taste then get a good brew and if you want the buzz but all they have is BMC then have some liquor
     
  22. pjbear05

    pjbear05 May 28, 2008 Florida

    Brother, you are NOT assyholy. and that's a great "portal!" If I had access to Bell's Amber all the time instead of the few times of the year I see it here in South Florida, It would be in my fridge 24/7. We see Oberon and Two-Hearted all the time but Amber, no. Founder's has finally made it down here, thanks to one of the local yokel distributor's, and that's the target of my next beer hunt.

    Prosit!
     
    Bones10 likes this.
  23. robconoclast

    robconoclast Jun 22, 2012 Ohio

    Two ladies were seated at the brewpub of the brewery at I work in my wife's section at after waiting half an hour to be seated. They asked for two Miller Light drafts and when they were told we only served our own beer they got up and left.
     
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  24. Bones10

    Bones10 Feb 23, 2013 Illinois

    Never complain about Two Hearted ;-)

    As an aside, I notice you are from Florida. I'm taking my family to Disney this Friday and one of my goals is to ship a case of Jai Alai back home. I see from the forums that this may not be the slam dunk I thought?

    Back to the topic. I still recommend Bell's Amber to anyone looking to break free of a BMC paradigm.

    Cheers!
     
  25. jivex5k

    jivex5k Apr 13, 2011 Florida

    Jai Alai is a slam dunk IMHO.
    Hell, I'm drinking a 10 day old one right now.
    It's just not as rare as say, good gourd or zhukov. Doesn't make it any less of a beer, it tastes fucking fantastic. Best IPA you can get in FL, that's for damn sure.
     
    UT-Alex likes this.
  26. Bones10

    Bones10 Feb 23, 2013 Illinois

    I meant its availability. I have no doubt I'll enjoy it! Although I do appreciate the assurance.
     
  27. Terrapin8

    Terrapin8 Oct 27, 2008 Georgia
    Beer Trader

     
    Bones10 likes this.
  28. jivex5k

    jivex5k Apr 13, 2011 Florida

    Ahh, it's been around a lot more lately.
    Hit up ABC or Crown and you should be able to find some, check on Thursday/Friday, that's when they usually get their CCB shipments.
     
    Bones10 likes this.
  29. RobM77

    RobM77 Feb 14, 2013 Illinois

    Ouch, you were just downright rude to that guy - and quite insulting to boot.
     
    HjaltiB likes this.
  30. WTKeene

    WTKeene Jul 13, 2013 New Mexico
    Beer Trader

    When I celebrated my 21st this past June, which was a few weeks after I actually turned 21, I had spent the previous few weeks getting to know beer. So I knew about craft beer and had already figured out, on some level at least, what was good beer and what was bad beer.

    So I went to one of the best gastropubs in town with some friends, and promptly celebrated turning 21 the only way anyone can ever properly celebrate turning 21: Getting drunk. I don't remember all the beers I had that night, but I do remember having 23 ounces of Live Oak Hefe and 12 ounces of La Fin du Monde, and three or four others. Once I was done dinner I followed one of my friends to a place not known for their beer selection, but known for their stupidly strong margaritas. I'm not really much of a marg fan, but I was turning 21 in Texas, and so I'm pretty much required. Anyways, after that we went to some club down the street and I was definitely hammered.

    One of my friends brought a pitcher of something to the table there. Now I'm not sure what it was, but I'm certain it was an AAL or something similar, the kind of beer you'd buy in a pitcher at a cheap college bar. I did a lot of embarrassing things that night, including karaoke and some things I wouldn't say sober, but the one thing I'm most embarrassed about is that I said that whatever was in that pitcher was actually pretty tasty, and in fact I think I said "This is a pretty good beer!"

    I was disgusted with myself for many things I did that night, but none moreso that complimenting whatever it was that was. I felt like I'd lost all my credibility as a snob.

    -----

    Just this past Wednesday I was at a frat party that my roommate somehow convinced me to go to (For some reason I expected a "Wine Wednesday" to have Wine, not boxes of Franzia with Keystone Light as an alternative), and some girl was trying to convince me to drink a Keystone Light. I refused, and it was too loud for me to explain exactly why. I think I said something like "I don't like the taste." Her answer, which made me actually laugh out loud? "If you hold your nose you can't taste it!" I lost it. Everyone was looking at me as if I didn't belong there, and I so totally didn't. I left as soon as I could and went home to enjoy some Black Butte XXV instead.
     
  31. Neary

    Neary Jan 31, 2013 Ohio
    Beer Trader

    Cleveland? My bdubs in Toledo has nothing (seasonal SA)
     
  32. ipas-for-life

    ipas-for-life Feb 28, 2012 Virginia
    Beer Trader

    The funny thing is my experience they always seem to slow down after coors light. Thinking to themselves "should I keep going or is he just going to order a bud light". I have thought of things I can say to avoid going through this. Maybe next time I will ask for what beers they have on tap in reverse order and see what happens.
     
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  33. BeerMeInStl

    BeerMeInStl Jan 26, 2013 Missouri


    I done know why you'd have a problem with this. If I've never had a beer before, I almost always pull it up on my phone and look at the info and ratings. It helps me narrow down my choices and quite often helps to convince me to buy a beer that I might not have otherwise bought.

    I look at reviews/ratings for most everything else I buy, why not beer?
     
  34. Dope

    Dope Oct 5, 2010 Massachusetts

    I just ask what craft beers they have available so they don't waste their time listing off the usual BS. If they look at me like I have 10 heads then I already have my answer.

    Dope
     
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  35. Ericness

    Ericness Nov 21, 2012 Massachusetts

    If I recall correctly, it was more the pretentious vibe I got from them, not the looking at reviews necessarily (which I am sure most of us here do to some degree at least some of the time). I work near the financial district of my city so a lot of stuffed suits roll through there and these guys fit the bill perfectly. They were strutting (almost literally) about the beer section like they owned the place or were the only people there, putting aside numerous bottles at a time until they could look them up and loudly dismissing things that were below them even trying. When something was deemed worthy they would laugh and comment for the whole store to hear about it like children finding the best toys to hoard.

    The middle aged execs I sometimes see in there obviously trying to impress (and then get drunk) their young secretaries with beer knowledge come in at a close second to these guys. :rolleyes:
     
    owen49 likes this.
  36. TheGator321

    TheGator321 May 29, 2013 Connecticut

    I used to go camping every year in RI with a bunch of folks who either drink vodka and tonic (diet tonic at that) or bud cans. don't even think about bringing bud bottles or some higher quality vodka other than dubra ($9 half gallon). They think it's all the same.

    if they see me drinking craft beer, I get laughed at, all day long. I retort that bud isn't even an American beer anymore. they don't believe me. I prove to them that bud is owned by a Belgium company - I'm making it up.

    Keep in mind that I don't force my craft beer beliefs on them. never had and never will. At first they asked me what I was drinking, offered them a sip and after a funny looking grimace and my bottle of craft beer gets passed around to others it gets handed back with comments like : do you actually think that's good? or, do you want a bud can, I feel bad you have to drink THAT beer. or my favorite... when you're done drinking FAKE beer let me know, we'll make you a cocktail.

    needless to say I don't camp with those folks to much anymore.
     
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  37. Rockfarmer

    Rockfarmer Jan 8, 2013 New Jersey

    My name is Jeff, and I'm a beer snob. :rolleyes: So far this year I've sampled 140 different beers.:D
    One of the attitudes/opinions that impressed me most here on BA is "The BEST beer is the one you like the BEST". I envy the person who can truly and knowledgeably state that the beer he likes best sells for $15.99 a 30 pack. Me? I'm afraid I have to fork over $8.99 a six-pack and sometimes a lot more. :eek:
    My name is Jeff, and I'm a beer snob.:p
     
  38. drinkAK

    drinkAK Sep 30, 2012 Alaska

    I really like what coors is doing with their batch 19 and third shift amber lagers, for a beer snob who traveos these beers are widely available, their actually rlpretty good and make good intro beers for swill drinkers!
     
  39. drinkAK

    drinkAK Sep 30, 2012 Alaska

    Jeff 8.99 for a good sixes isn't bad at all... what pisses me off is when these snobberish breweries sell their six packs for $12.99- $13.99 or 4 packs for $10.99 (stone, greenflash) check your local micro breweries for good beer at a good price
    ... for example I live near houston tx, on of my favorite breweris is real ale brewing. All of their year round six packs are under 8 bucks and they are all good!


    Oo
     
  40. nsheehan

    nsheehan Jul 3, 2011 Texas
    Beer Trader

    It seems you are trying very hard to be a beer snob?
    I cannot tell if you're sarcastic or serious.
     
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