Beer snob stories

Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by 5thOhio, Jan 16, 2013.

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  1. SeanBond

    SeanBond Champion (819) Jul 30, 2013 Illinois
    Beer Trader

    Kind of along the same lines, I was in Half Acre's brewstore in Chicago, and a lady walked in, wanting recommendations on what to buy (they've got all their distro stuff in a fridge, and the Chicago-only stuff on tap). I was in line waiting to buy a growler of Space, I believe, when she asked one of the guys who worked there if they had anything priced more in line with PBR.


    Needless to say, his answer disappointed her, and she walked across the street to Jewel (a local grocery chain) while the rest of us muttered and shook our heads.
  2. wrycon

    wrycon Aspirant (268) Apr 22, 2009 Minnesota

    I think someone else already said it, but mine was asking for a non-frosted glass. Got a 90 minute at a seafood restaurant in FL. Lady gave me the bottle and asked if I wanted a frosted glass. I said, "Actually, no." She said "no problem" and walked away. I later realized she assumed I would be drinking it straight from the bottle. When I realized this I threw my crab bib on the ground, stood on my chair and said "Where the Fuck is my Non-Frosted Glass?! Do you expect me to drink this from the fucking bottle?! Do you have any idea who I am?!"

    No, that didn't actually happen. But I did stop another waitress and ask for a non-frosted glass. She gave me one. The end.
  3. spicoli00

    spicoli00 Defender (644) Jul 6, 2005 Indiana

    Back in '96, i was out drinking at Ray's in Kent, OH. We were all buying pitchers: Blimp City, Crooked River, GLBC, SNPA, Paulaner. Towards the end, some fucktwat bought a pitcher of Dundee's Honey Brown. Can you believe it? Honey Brown! So, I poured the pitcher in his lap and then vomitted on his shoes.
  4. LCB_Hostage

    LCB_Hostage Initiate (0) Jan 30, 2013 Pennsylvania

    I think they slow down because they're heading out into deep water. It's pretty easy to remember and recite the entire BMC line-up. It's them weird beers that will trip you up. They're praying you aren't expecting them to remember the funny name ones.
    Tut, Horbar, Sludgeman and 1 other person like this.
  5. FEUO

    FEUO Disciple (325) Jul 24, 2012 Ontario (Canada)

    You had me at "back in '96"
    CK21 and alex_hart like this.
  6. Sludgeman

    Sludgeman Meyvn (1,357) Aug 17, 2012 District of Columbia
    Beer Trader

    Hey! I like diet tonic. I add a little lime. Its a great thirst quencher and wards off the dehydration. My doctor turned me on to it when I was complaining about an on slaught of muscle pulls from running.
  7. bpasquini

    bpasquini Initiate (0) Feb 26, 2013 California

    Where I live craft beer isn't very big yet, we finally got a restaurant that serves nothing but craft beers on tap, group of 4 gets seated next to me and my family and I hear them talking about what to drink, they were baffled that they didn't have any bud, coors or miller, so I tried to point them to something that would somewhat be close to BMC, but they laughed and said they only drink the good stuff and left, so I face palmed myself and laughed as they were walking out
  8. BeerGreg

    BeerGreg Devotee (443) May 17, 2013 Illinois
    Beer Trader

    Holy grammar vomit, Batman!
  9. scotti561

    scotti561 Initiate (152) Feb 2, 2013 Kentucky
    Beer Trader

    A few buddies and I decided to split the cost of a Barrel Aged bomber The waitress came out and filled the first snifter up to the top of the glass. I told her that we still had 3 more glasses to go and I wasn't sure if there would be enough for an even pour. She got to the last glass and it was short as I expected. She went to pour beer from the first glass into the the last one. I made a comment that the beer was about $1.50 an ounce and asked her not to spill any. I think she took it the wrong way because I got the evil eye. All ended well, no beer was lost in this scenerio but it felt like a snobby remark after I said it.
    nsheehan likes this.
  10. JamesQuaff

    JamesQuaff Initiate (0) Jun 30, 2010 California

    Once I went to my wife's family reunion a few states over, both sides of her family were there, many had never met. It was held at the picnic grounds of a large park. I was told there was draft beer by the BBQ pit, so I went to see if it was something acceptable like Zombie Dust or super-fresh Enjoy By. I discovered to my chagrin that it was MGD. And this was all my wife's family had to offer me.

    I began to rend and tear my own clothes in a fit of Biblical rage. I removed my pants and underwear, grabbed a red Solo cup, and jumped atop a picnic table in front of the swingset/jungle gym area where the kids were playing. I let out a loud, guttural bellow, my hair started being blown by an invisible wind, the clouds immediately closed in to focus a beam of sunlight behind my head.

    I then began to urinate in the Solo cup, and just before raising it to my lips and drinking the entire 12 ounces I thrust the Solo cup in the air and shouted "THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR FUCKING MGD!!!". One of her aunts actually had a coronary and died right there, spilling MGD all over her flowered frock. I just laughed.

    I think it got the point across. Next reunion was BYOB.
  11. stella77artois

    stella77artois Devotee (495) Nov 4, 2010 New York

    I have beer snob stories at least 5 days a week. I frequently suggest to people that they should expand their beer horizons and try something other than Bud/Bud Light, Miller Lite, Coors or Mich Ultra. These people then make fun of me for drinking craft beer. I then procede to berate them for drinking those disgusting AAL's. I try to be friendly, and it gets me made fun of. Guess I'm a beer snob.
  12. YieldToNothing

    YieldToNothing Initiate (0) Mar 13, 2013 New York

    one a first date, i made the girl split a fantome saison with me(split as in share, of course i paid for it)

    still got to a second date...and a third
    BalancingBrooms likes this.
  13. JDice20

    JDice20 Aspirant (253) Aug 14, 2013 Louisiana
    Beer Trader

    a buddy of mine told me to not worry about bringing any beer to his house for a cookout a couple weeks ago. I wasl like, why?

    He said, i got you covered.... I responded with umm.. well ok but i really am in the mood for a good IPA.

    he said " Perfect, ill tell you its an IPA, and its craft, and the cellar ( a local bottle shop) just got it in!!"

    Long story short i get there, and he pulls Shock Top Wheat IPA out of the ice chest, and smiles so big he couldnt contain hisself.

    I smiled back, and grabbed the beer from him, And proceeded to open it, take a sip.
    Guys, i really wanted to be gracious and drink the beer.. i just couldnt....
    I couldnt stop laughing. I finally managed to tell him the beer was maybe the worst IPA i had ever had...

    good times
  14. stella77artois

    stella77artois Devotee (495) Nov 4, 2010 New York

    Not a snob story, but being a beer nerd and a bit of a beer snob on occasion, this kind of crap happens all the time, here's a typical conversation, happened the other day during shift change at work:

    There was an article about a local restaurant that is moving to a location less than half a mile from my parents house. In addition to the restaurant (which serves excellent food), they are also building a microbrewery and making the back part of the restaurant a brew pub. This restaurant has a decent craft beer selection, so I was already a fan, and they're now planning on carrying Heady Topper! So in addition to a brewpub being built in my hometown (and half a mile from my parents house, perfect in case I need a place to crash if I've had too much), an already solid lineup is going to become even better now that they'll be carrying Heady Topper. Reading this, I became very excited, and starting talking about it to my partners. Of course noone had heard of Heady Topper and one guy who actually does like good beer (big SA fan - I know I get ripped on here but I consider most SA brews to be very good, likes to try craft brews once in a while) starts to ask me about it. I start explaining that it's a DIPA featuring the tastiest hops I've ever experienced, etc. So that of course prompts my lieutenant and other coworkers to start talking about how "yeah, that's why I always liked Canadian beers, so much more flavor". Other quotes were "yeah, Molson Canadian. That's a good beer." I was essentially gone from the conversation as I facepalmed, and listened to them talk about "oh, I had this one beer that was like oil it was so thick" and "Guiness is so strong" blah blah blah.

    Now I like and respect all of these people, and I understand most people prefer to drink BMC. I can live with that (although it does irk me), but what really irritates me about conversations like this is that people who in the grand scheme of things know NOTHING about actual beer, try to come off as if they're somehow knowledgable on the subject. It happens a lot, and it's incredibly annoying.
    StuartCarter, MarioM and tcblack4d like this.
  15. Zormac

    Zormac Initiate (0) Nov 18, 2012 Ohio

    Hell I wish my wife enjoyed drinking a beer from any vessel. all she does is surprise me with something new every once in a while. I would be thrilled to be able to talk to someone who enjoys craft beer other then this site and who better to talk to and spend time with then my wife. you lucky bastard shut up and drink :D
  16. RichardMNixon

    RichardMNixon Zealot (515) Jun 24, 2012 Pennsylvania
    Beer Trader

    The Stella Artois snobs are my favorite. It's Belgian, you know. And dear god, don't forget the chalice!
    yemenmocha and utopiajane like this.
  17. stella77artois

    stella77artois Devotee (495) Nov 4, 2010 New York

    Oh, I know. I admit, I do enjoy Stella. It's one of my "bar beers" during a long night out, but I kno wit's nothing fancy. I do get irritated when people think Stella is some outstanding import.
  18. nopropulsion

    nopropulsion Initiate (0) Jan 21, 2013 Florida

    looking at your username, that isn't a very big admission...

    that being said, stella every once in a while is not bad when you are out and about.
  19. RichardMNixon

    RichardMNixon Zealot (515) Jun 24, 2012 Pennsylvania
    Beer Trader

    ...absolutely did not notice that... :oops:
    But yeah, I know some people who do like craft beer, but also talk about Stella as some shining example sent down from the heavens.
  20. tinypyramids

    tinypyramids Initiate (0) Jul 19, 2012 Illinois

    funny thing is that in england, stella artois is affectionately named "wife beater" and it's about the opposite of class. no foolin'.
  21. utopiajane

    utopiajane Poo-Bah (2,316) Jun 11, 2013 New York

    So I am at the family picnic with people named "Big Nicky" and "Fat Tony" and where women with really big hair and too much perfume make the macaroni salad with the "miracle whip , not the mayonaise. " I brought my own beer. All day long it was loud whispers - "She brought her own beer. She thinks she's too good for us" and "What does she have to show for this 'hobby' except a skinny wallet and a bunch or reviews on a website?"

    That's my story. I'm not even a snob.
    hardy008, craigo19, jrnyc and 3 others like this.
  22. stella77artois

    stella77artois Devotee (495) Nov 4, 2010 New York

    Ha. Yeah it's my username at a lot forums/sites, dating back to when I was like 21, so I usually keep that as my username when I join new forums. I've taken some grief from it before.
  23. totalbangover

    totalbangover Initiate (166) Jul 3, 2012 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    What are the criteria for reviewing a beer on this website? Hard to rate aroma when drinking from the bottle. It's exactly because I want to be able to talk about beer with her that I have poured her beer in a glass before.

    Honestly I only occasionally do this now but its because most of the time she's not drinking for discussion but primarily to catch a little buzz with an ok beer she doesn't want to overanalyze... and don't get me wrong i do realize my move is douchey. But on the other hand at this point when I pull out something good (in other words for us to drink together and talk about) she has her favorite glass and I don't think would consider drinking something like BCBS from the bottle the way she would have a couple years ago. 5 years before that she wasn't that into craft beer at all, at that point would you have told me to leave her alone with her Rolling Rock? I think my method is working and like I said before as time goes on i think she'll take the extra 20 seconds to pour more beers into a glass for a fuller experience.
  24. cavedave

    cavedave Poo-Bah (2,138) Mar 12, 2009 New York
    Beer Trader

    My favorite is the homebrewer asshole snob at Keegan Ales who was telling Tommy Keegan how to make better beer. Tommy was very gracious about it, but this douche just took that as the signal to keep going. Five minutes of this and Tommy never was anything but gracious.
    GreesyFizeek, Tut and tcblack4d like this.
  25. Zormac

    Zormac Initiate (0) Nov 18, 2012 Ohio

    but you seem to have missed my point
  26. totalbangover

    totalbangover Initiate (166) Jul 3, 2012 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    I know I'm lucky. And I'm drinkin right now ;)
  27. Zormac

    Zormac Initiate (0) Nov 18, 2012 Ohio

    same here we have reached our zen
  28. frazbri

    frazbri Defender (620) Oct 29, 2003 Ohio

    I called Stella "Belgian Budweiser" for years, then they bought Anhueser-Busch, and I don't know what to call it.
    tcblack4d and utopiajane like this.
  29. ISmith87

    ISmith87 Initiate (0) Jul 19, 2011 Arizona

    I was at a bar in Missouri one time that I thought wouldn't be this douchey about it, since there were two universities in the town, but I asked for a local beer and the owner laughs and says "yea, we have Budweiser". I actually ended up getting to know the guy months later and he turned out to be an alright guy, but the impression stuck and I didn't go back to his bar.

    It's funny how if your steaks cooked wrong people will take it back immediately, but if you ask for a beer that doesn't suck, they look at you like you're wearing a f***ing ascot and drinking with your pinky out.
    LSUPT likes this.
  30. ISmith87

    ISmith87 Initiate (0) Jul 19, 2011 Arizona

    And for the record, I've never had a steak taken back at a restaurant.
  31. Giovannilucano

    Giovannilucano Devotee (442) Feb 24, 2011 New Jersey

    I believe your example shows us the degree of folks who believe that our passion for beer makes us a snob. In no way should it be like this. Did you go to this party in a limo? Did you have assistants at your beck and call? If not, well what the heck then? :D No, carry on and enjoy what you love because I do the same too!
  32. Giovannilucano

    Giovannilucano Devotee (442) Feb 24, 2011 New Jersey

    Also a very big point of craft beer I have come to know is that the hard working blue collar should appreciate craft beer because the workers themselves are blue collar, unless of course they are not. It seems like some do not appreciate craftsmen ship and this does apply to beer.
  33. JackofBlades

    JackofBlades Initiate (0) Apr 1, 2013 Texas

    The Live Oak Hefe and La Fin du Monde are some mighty fine beers for your 21st birthday.
  34. otispdriftwood

    otispdriftwood Crusader (736) Dec 9, 2011 Colorado
    Beer Trader

    I guess the snobbiest thing I do is that if there isn't a beer list posted somewhere and I ask for the beer selection, I then say: "aside from the usual suspects". If I get a puzzled look I spell it out - besides Bud, Heineken, Coors, Miller, Amstel. I also ask for a warm glass and if I get another puzzled look [they would naturally go together] I say that I don't like ice in my beer.
    Auslander and JrGtr like this.
  35. utopiajane

    utopiajane Poo-Bah (2,316) Jun 11, 2013 New York

    Who puts ice in beer? The same people that put fruit in it? :confused:
    JohnQ, Hdredfern and ChipMurray like this.
  36. otispdriftwood

    otispdriftwood Crusader (736) Dec 9, 2011 Colorado
    Beer Trader

    Yeah maybe - that's a start. I'll expect a full report on my desk in the morning.
    Hdredfern, cavedave and utopiajane like this.
  37. Flashy

    Flashy Initiate (0) Oct 22, 2003 Vermont

    Sounds like they need servers who can explain what you are about.
    LopeJuice likes this.
  38. BurgeoningBrewhead

    BurgeoningBrewhead Initiate (0) Jul 18, 2012 Pennsylvania

    But the snobbiest thing I've done would probably be at Outback Steakhouse.
    Their menu says, below the draft list of the usual BMC stuff, "ask about our local beer offerings."
    So I asked, and the waitress just gave me a blank stare. I then took refuge in a Sam Adams Summer Ale, which was the best thing they had.
    I guess I should have expected as much from a place whose menu also says "Craft: Shock Top Belgian White," but I was a bit annoyed that they seemed so confused when I asked about local beer because their menu implies they have some.
  39. YieldToNothing

    YieldToNothing Initiate (0) Mar 13, 2013 New York

    or we're just making the best of a bad situation and not trying to make the people hosting us feel like assholes?
  40. Tut

    Tut Initiate (0) Sep 23, 2004 New York

    Why do so many here think making a reasonable request like that, especially after she blew the initial pour, is being "snobby"?
    Bugs318 and urielxvi like this.
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