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FedEx Answers

Discussion in 'Beer Trading Talk' started by Pando, Mar 19, 2013.

  1. Pando

    Pando Dec 5, 2011 Connecticut
    Beer Trader

    Let me begin by saying I've never had a problem with shipping via FedEx. Also, they rarely ever ask me what I am shipping; however when I went there today to ship a package the guy was a little inquisitive. He originally asked what I was shipping because one of the corners on the box was a little dented and he just wanted to make sure everything got there safe and sound. After, just in general conversation, he kept asking about the contents (I told him it was autographed sports memorabilia in glass cases.....usually my standard answer). Now the package was around 36 pounds so I'm sure he was wondering what weighed that much but my question to you is:

    What do you tell FedEx (or whoever you use for shipping) when they ask about the contents of the box?
    Do you switch up your answer the lighter/heavier the package?
    Do you ship under a fake business name to prevent questions?
  2. Sean9689

    Sean9689 Mar 17, 2009 Illinois
    Beer Trader

    When they ask if it's fragile I say I'm shipping glass vases...never had an issue.
  3. OakedCanuck

    OakedCanuck Jun 23, 2009 Washington

    Dildos. Black dildos.

    (keep a straight face)
  4. mcc1654

    mcc1654 Mar 20, 2011 Illinois

    pmoney, deadbody and OakedCanuck like this.
  5. Shmuffalo

    Shmuffalo Feb 26, 2012 Pennsylvania
    Beer Trader

    I tell them I'm shipping minerals to my buddy Hank.
  6. harperman69

    harperman69 Feb 11, 2009 Tennessee
    Beer Trader

    I say glassware and plates. Explains the weight fairly well.
  7. stupac2

    stupac2 Feb 22, 2011 California
    Beer Trader

    I have never once been asked. I wonder if I just look trustworthy or something...
  8. cmmcdonn

    cmmcdonn Jun 21, 2009 Virginia

    I usually say homemade jam. My grandfather makes it and I'm usually up to my eyeballs in it so I'll sometimes throw a couple jars in the box.
  9. pmoney

    pmoney Apr 15, 2011 Colorado
    Beer Trader

    Olive oil. I write it in Sharpie on the top corner of every box. It explains the weight, the fact that it's fragile, and the liquid noise. I'm willing to bet my local FedEx office legitimately thinks I run an olive oil company.

    Now here's something I'm curious about: which of you have received one of my many "olive oil" boxes second hand?
  10. juliusseizure

    juliusseizure Feb 11, 2009 New York
    Beer Trader

    I do a shit job taping up the box at home, then waste FedEx tape until someone else is at the counter getting help or the guy steps away from the cashier. Then I drop it on the counter, turn around and say its prepaid and leave.
    domtronzero likes this.
  11. enelson

    enelson Dec 2, 2007 Illinois
    Beer Trader

    I have noted that I do get asked about the contents of the box more often. Rarely if ever had I been asked such in the past, but the last few months they ask about every time. I tell them I'm shipping glue.
  12. maximum12

    maximum12 Jan 21, 2008 Minnesota
    Beer Trader

    Never been asked either, guess I'm lucky.

    I did have a recent trade come through, & the guy wrote his company as "Texas Scented Oils" to explain any sloshing sound that came from the box. Brilliant.
    Pando likes this.
  13. marcgo2

    marcgo2 Nov 16, 2010 Illinois
    Beer Trader

    I just say "collectibles" I have never once been asked to clarify.
    M1A2 likes this.
  14. ShanePB

    ShanePB Sep 6, 2010 Pennsylvania
    Beer Trader

    You could always spend the extra $1-2 and schedule a pick-up at your house. You really never have to worry about questions at all that way.
    fiedler84 and FishPondManager like this.
  15. FishPondManager

    FishPondManager Feb 28, 2012 Colorado
    Beer Trader

    Havent seen any PMoney olive oils, but I have been the recipient of some Brady's Balsamics.
    Penguin3200 and domtronzero like this.
  16. ficklenicholas

    ficklenicholas Jul 26, 2011 California
    Beer Trader

    I just tell them it's all ready to go and ask where they want me to put it. Thanks and have a nice day.
    ncaudle likes this.
  17. Steimie

    Steimie Jan 7, 2012 Michigan

    I tell them it's a big box of mind your own fucking business, or at least that's the answer I gave the one time and then walked out and dropped off at another location. They haven't asked me again.
  18. Deltoro

    Deltoro Sep 15, 2012 Florida
    Beer Trader

    I had a growler break recently en route to someone else, when I called to find out my options, they were going to send the box back to me, I told them just to send what was left to him and when they asked what it was I said "baseball stuff". Two days later he gets a box cleaned up and repackaged with the growler missing but everything else was fine from what I was told.
    Franch likes this.
  19. tinypyramids

    tinypyramids Jul 19, 2012 Illinois

    i just put my box, complete with shipping label on the counter, and alert an employee if they're not looking. we exchange pleasantries and i walk out.
    jebsinger likes this.
  20. heatwaves

    heatwaves Oct 17, 2009 California
    Beer Trader

    I'm actually never asked because they're too busy trying to figure out how my 15 lb box weighs 20 lbs on their scale. Or why the business name is called "Dave's Residence".

    I would say "BBQ Sauces," but my favorite all-time was from someone else on here, I believe. They said "Proprietary Yeast Samples" for a doctoral thesis. :D
  21. Andygirl

    Andygirl Jan 3, 2013 Michigan

    Flavor syrups, like for candy.
    vurt likes this.
  22. UHCougar12

    UHCougar12 Feb 21, 2011 Texas
    Beer Trader

    I have said homemade candles. Ya, not he manliest thing, but it has justified the weight.
  23. nanobrew

    nanobrew Dec 31, 2008 California

    I have said vinegar and olive oils (I have a shipping name "Scrimshaw's Vinegar and Olive oil), along withrootbeer (I use a local companies name to sell it that little bit more) and homemade pickles.
  24. Lordkrystic

    Lordkrystic Jul 18, 2012 Washington

    A Wrigley field snowglobe and baseball books is my standard answer.....the guys at my local UPS launcher are cool though, they pretty much never ask.
  25. Lutter

    Lutter Jun 30, 2010 Texas

    I make and sell artisan marinade. I even put an invoice inside the package (so it's the first thing you see when you open it).

    Once they see how much tape I put on the box ... they don't generally want to open it to check anyways, lol.
  26. tommyz

    tommyz May 28, 2007 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    LOVE the Olive Oil line...Ive used Lava Lamps, lol, and no problems..but olive oil is way better..
  27. TheBeerAlmanac

    TheBeerAlmanac Mar 3, 2011 Kentucky
    Beer Trader

    I tell them it's beer. Then laugh boisterously and say just kidding. Then stop abruptly and stare at them intently. Then walk out the door backwards.
    alysmith4, pk18, kojevergas and 9 others like this.
  28. vurt

    vurt Apr 11, 2004 Oregon
    Beer Trader

    I've only been asked once out of a few dozen trades. The answer I had ready was: "Oh, a couple old wireless access points, some big physics textbooks, and the ugliest porcelain lamp you have ever seen."
  29. oldp0rt

    oldp0rt Feb 24, 2011 Quebec (Canada)

    When shipping to the U.S, I always have to write down what's in the box. I usually write the correct number of bottles and call it Oil & Vinegar.

    So far so good.
  30. sandiego67

    sandiego67 Feb 25, 2008 California

    "You don't need to see his identification. These are not the beers you're looking for"
    RedBeeron likes this.
  31. youbrewidrink

    youbrewidrink Apr 9, 2009 Vermont
    Beer Trader

    Only if the counter person is male and appears straight.
  32. MordorMongo

    MordorMongo Jul 19, 2009

    Twisted Tree Gourmet Sauces. I even made labels. Not normal sauces for off center people.

    Pando and FishPondManager like this.
  33. arniepnminne

    arniepnminne Jun 2, 2010 Minnesota
    Beer Trader

    I suggest creating your own FedEx account, printing the label then drop off at shipping facility. I have never been asked what my contents were since I established my own account.
  34. Jeffh97

    Jeffh97 Jan 18, 2012 Missouri
    Beer Trader

    My favorite is vintage sodas I sold on EBAY.
  35. Hanzo

    Hanzo Feb 27, 2012 Virginia

    Never been asked since I print my own labels at home and ship, but this will be my answer if asked.
  36. FishPondManager

    FishPondManager Feb 28, 2012 Colorado
    Beer Trader

    Still ISO
  37. FishPondManager

    FishPondManager Feb 28, 2012 Colorado
    Beer Trader

    I sometimes have my wife drop boxes for me on her way to work and this is the company line. She's never been asked, though.
  38. Pando

    Pando Dec 5, 2011 Connecticut
    Beer Trader

    The Olive Oil and Vinegar is a great one.....I'll be using that!
  39. DaBubs

    DaBubs Mar 2, 2011 Illinois
    Beer Trader

  40. Wolfpack2005

    Wolfpack2005 Oct 15, 2010 North Carolina

    Never been asked, but would probably go with BBQ sauce.
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