Funny things your BMC friends say when given craft.

Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by nquigley16, Dec 29, 2012.

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  1. omniscientcause

    omniscientcause Initiate (0) Jun 4, 2010 District of Columbia

    "This taste like big foot's dick"
    dcloeren, CTJman, MisterGrizz and 2 others like this.
  2. beercanman

    beercanman Initiate (0) Dec 17, 2012 Ohio

  3. Raime

    Raime Meyvn (1,202) Jun 4, 2012 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    Had a few friends try a Fore Smoked Stout. One actually liked it and said it tastes like burnt bacon ( He's the one who typically enjoys any beer given to him ) Had another one say it tasted like somebody puked up Guinness, filtered out the chunks and put it into the bottle ( He's the one who only drinks Bud Light Lime, Or a six-pack of Two Hearted over the course of a month when he's feeling brave ). The third thought it tasted like, and I quote " Licking the inside of Howard Stern's asshole and eating his dingleberries ".
    TRFD803 likes this.
  4. ESeab

    ESeab Initiate (0) Jan 3, 2013 New Jersey

    I just gave my friend a small pour of Parabola 2011 and told him to sip it. He took a sip, let it sit in his mouth, then made the nastiest face Ive seen in a while. "This tastes like donkey piss. I'll take a corona or coors light any day." I've been laughing all night.
  5. ferillo

    ferillo Devotee (480) Sep 12, 2009 Massachusetts
    Beer Trader Subscriber

    Can I get a water also
    regularjohn likes this.
  6. hollerined

    hollerined Initiate (0) Feb 7, 2012 Michigan

    Split a Zombie Dust with my dad... "holy wah... this tastes like stomach bile! I wish I could get in to this stuff with you but I just can't!"

    A few days later split a BBPt5 with my uncle "Oh yeah Eddie... this is good stuff..." as his mouth is watering and his face shows clear disgust. Guess you can't blame the two for trying to show interest anyways!
  7. frankthetank86

    frankthetank86 Initiate (0) Dec 24, 2012 New York

    i gave my buddy a founders porter and he told me it taste like guiness. my beer spewed out my nose in laughter. plz man stop! hahaha o_O
  8. Kikodamian

    Kikodamian Initiate (0) Feb 9, 2013 Florida

    I'm new to BA and the craft beer world but the one time I brought a mix-six to a party instead of drinking the bud light keg people looked at me like I was snooty. The next time we had a get together, people immediately pegged me as the guy that drinks, and I quote, "Weird fancy beers". How the hell is Redhook fancy?
    BeerKangaroo likes this.
  9. KelsoSaaz

    KelsoSaaz Initiate (0) Jan 24, 2013 Maine

    I was at a college bar with a good bottle selection and Old Rasputin was their weekly special. I order one and the (slightly inebriated) friend next to me says "i'll have what he's having". I warn her saying she probably wont like it, as she is holding a Coors Light and I tell her it's a lot different than what she's drinking, she replies "beer is beer". We get the Rasputins, and she takes one sip and nearly vomits, then says "thats the worst beer i've ever tasted, it's like dirt" and gives hers to me, which I then hand off to another friend of mine who drinks craft.
    dieBlume, regularjohn and darky like this.
  10. Ranbot

    Ranbot Devotee (428) Nov 27, 2006 Pennsylvania

    On two occassions different people have told me a craft beer tastes like dirty feet, and for completely different beers. One time was Victory's Golden Monkey and the other time was some IPA I can't remember.
  11. RyFikes

    RyFikes Initiate (0) Jan 3, 2013 New York

    There is a ladder that has to be climbed when getting into craft beer. Your palate needs to develop and refine in order to appreciate great beers; just like wine, whiskey, or vegetables. Price is another barrier that people struggle to get through. "Why would I get 6 beers when I can get 12 for the same price?"

    These people can't be blamed for their sad, sad ignorance. What we can do is start them at the bottom of the ladder with Belgian whites, wheat beers, and saisons. Throwing an IPA or Imperial stout at someone who has never had one is asking for trouble.
  12. RyFikes

    RyFikes Initiate (0) Jan 3, 2013 New York

    Drinking Golden Money is like having large breast on your face. . . It's great.
    MisterGrizz and craigo19 like this.
  13. mjshearer1

    mjshearer1 Aspirant (213) Dec 16, 2011 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    Or for hilarious results.
    darky likes this.
  14. BMitch

    BMitch Initiate (169) Jul 10, 2012 Virginia
    Beer Trader

    I've probably heard that one the most. They usually understand better when I dumb-it-down that the beer I'm drinking is typically a good deal stronger abv-wise than their BMC (ie "one of these is equal to two Bud Lights"). All of a sudden their tone changes a bit, lol.
    Smokebox_79 and ESeab like this.
  15. RichardMNixon

    RichardMNixon Zealot (515) Jun 24, 2012 Pennsylvania
    Beer Trader

    I like how ~half of these are 'Your beer is too bitter/dark for me to handle' and the other ~half are 'You drink sissy beer.' o_O
  16. BetterBeerPlz

    BetterBeerPlz Aspirant (227) Sep 8, 2007 Arkansas

    Yep. See that all the time around here.
  17. benjaminahudson

    benjaminahudson Initiate (0) Sep 29, 2012 North Carolina

    "I am the master of my own destiny. Please leave me to it, and you worry about your own beer"

    /truer words have never been spoken
    //these threads are the worst
    teal and ESeab like this.
  18. jds8411

    jds8411 Initiate (0) Oct 12, 2008 California

    My mom isn't really a beer drinker but she likes to taste the beers I drink. I just gave her a taste of a Ranger IPA from New Belgium and her exact words were, "Fuck! This tastes like fucking horse piss!"
  19. mattfitz

    mattfitz Initiate (0) Jan 26, 2009 Connecticut

    "I like that; it's really good. But I just want a PBR right now."
  20. Giantspace

    Giantspace Devotee (498) Dec 22, 2011 Pennsylvania

    I think some IPA does taste spicy. Victory Hop Devil comes to mind first.

  21. Raime

    Raime Meyvn (1,202) Jun 4, 2012 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    I recently went to the local sports bar with my Bud Light Lime loving best friend to watch the Michigan State men's basketball game. I was enjoying a nice pint of Hopslam and he ordered a Corona Light, as is typical of him in these types of places. Shortly after, A few ladies come in and just so happen to sit next to him at the bar. He instantly engages them in conversation ( He chases tail everywhere he goes, And he fails 99.9% of the time ). One of the girls noticed my Hopslam and asked what it was, So I told her. My friend then commences his bullshitting. He tells her " Yeah, the only time I drink Corona is when I'm washing my mouth out in between craft beer ". She then goes on to ask what a craft beer is. He replies, And I quote " Breweries like Bell's, Funders, Lagnitas, ". Yeah that's right, He can't even say the names of the breweries right. Anyway, He chugs down his Corona and in what I'm assuming is an attempt to impress these ladies, Orders a Hopslam. As soon as the pint is sat down in front of him he takes a large gulp. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. He looked as though it was about to start crying, But he also looked as though the beer was sour. He quickly fixed his face and said " Damn that's a good beer ". I ended up drinking the rest of the pint for him.
    dieBlume, fmccormi, dcloeren and 10 others like this.
  22. bsp77

    bsp77 Poo-Bah (1,883) Apr 27, 2008 Minnesota

    There must be a lot more people out there that drink horse piss, sweaty assholes, dingleberries, and dirty feet than I realized. Given my limited experience drinking these things, I would be hard pressed to describe beer that way.
    MisterGrizz, JulianB and Raime like this.
  23. Zhiguli

    Zhiguli Aspirant (241) Jul 12, 2012 California

    My dad earnestly asked me if Torpedo is a beer. Called me confused. Drainpour
  24. Zhiguli

    Zhiguli Aspirant (241) Jul 12, 2012 California

    You have succeeded as a father
    4balance, JulianB and clubarsky91 like this.
  25. darky

    darky Aspirant (212) Apr 16, 2010 South Dakota

    My best friend and I were at a little european-style bar with limited taps and bottles and I had just ordered a Guinness. A random guy came up to the bar to order this Budweiser and commented, "Enjoying your ice cream?", referring to the ample head. I chuckled as he went on about "Isn't that too thick/heavy/etc?" and I proceeded to explain to him how my Guinness would likely float on top of his beer in a glass. He actually listened and seemed interested.
  26. LynnHomeBrewer

    LynnHomeBrewer Aspirant (207) Aug 3, 2010 Massachusetts

    Typical answers from my AB-INBEV drinking friends...

    "No thanks, i don't want to ruin the flavor of my bud light"
    "I don't like dark beers... they're to heavy."
    "I don't like anything that's not made by Budweiser."
    dieBlume likes this.
  27. Spaghett

    Spaghett Initiate (0) Oct 27, 2011 California

    "No I don't drink that foofy stuff."
  28. arfenhouse

    arfenhouse Initiate (0) Oct 29, 2012 California

    "Tastes like an IPA."
    Is actually green flash double stout.
    clintonpuckett and KevSal like this.
  29. Stockfan42

    Stockfan42 Initiate (0) Jan 20, 2009 Massachusetts

    Took a friend of mine to KTG day a few years back. He said it tastes like chocolate syrup beer. He refers to any stout as such now.
  30. BleepBloopBlap

    BleepBloopBlap Initiate (59) Aug 19, 2011 Massachusetts

    "This tastes like Sam Adams"
  31. Cinephile

    Cinephile Initiate (0) Sep 25, 2012 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    "This is too hoppy"... Oh yeah? That gruit that I just gave you?
  32. VikingsFan1215

    VikingsFan1215 Initiate (0) Feb 3, 2013 Minnesota

    My family says the same thing too me. I always crack a bottle of surly darkness during Christmas and my uncle always asks me how the "motor oil" tastes.
    EyePeeAyBryan likes this.
  33. Jimjohson

    Jimjohson Initiate (0) Dec 26, 2012 Georgia

    Budweiser Miller Coors
  34. VikingsFan1215

    VikingsFan1215 Initiate (0) Feb 3, 2013 Minnesota

    One of my brother's buddies tried my surly furious once and told me it tasted like bong water. I couldn't help myself, i had too make a smartass comment about his bud light.
  35. JuliusCaesar

    JuliusCaesar Initiate (0) Feb 18, 2013 New Hampshire

    "I don't like beer I have to chew."
    LynnHomeBrewer likes this.
  36. SteelCity75

    SteelCity75 Initiate (0) Jan 14, 2013 Connecticut

    "Have you had the Bud Light Lime-A-Rita?! That stuff will **** you up, it's freaking 8%!!!"
    EyePeeAyBryan likes this.
  37. JuliusCaesar

    JuliusCaesar Initiate (0) Feb 18, 2013 New Hampshire

    "Why would you want your beer to be bitter?"
  38. dagmer

    dagmer Initiate (0) Feb 27, 2012 Illinois

    One friend refers to any hoppy beer negatively as Lychee beer. Another friend thinks they all taste!?? I don't get the coffee one, but i can understand the Lychee comment.
  39. Raime

    Raime Meyvn (1,202) Jun 4, 2012 Michigan
    Beer Trader

    " Tastes like beef ramen noodles and tomato soup! This is fucking terrible! Where the hell did my Bud Light Lime go? "

    My friend when given a drink of my Trois Pistoles.
  40. bilboTbaggins

    bilboTbaggins Initiate (0) Feb 14, 2013 Wisconsin

    heard that many times. It could be a smokey bock and people will say, it reminds me of guiness. I guess everything tastes like chicken too.
    alysmith4 likes this.
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