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Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by nquigley16, Dec 29, 2012.
"This taste like big foot's dick"
Had a few friends try a Fore Smoked Stout. One actually liked it and said it tastes like burnt bacon ( He's the one who typically enjoys any beer given to him ) Had another one say it tasted like somebody puked up Guinness, filtered out the chunks and put it into the bottle ( He's the one who only drinks Bud Light Lime, Or a six-pack of Two Hearted over the course of a month when he's feeling brave ). The third thought it tasted like, and I quote " Licking the inside of Howard Stern's asshole and eating his dingleberries ".
I just gave my friend a small pour of Parabola 2011 and told him to sip it. He took a sip, let it sit in his mouth, then made the nastiest face Ive seen in a while. "This tastes like donkey piss. I'll take a corona or coors light any day." I've been laughing all night.
Can I get a water also
Split a Zombie Dust with my dad... "holy wah... this tastes like stomach bile! I wish I could get in to this stuff with you but I just can't!"
A few days later split a BBPt5 with my uncle "Oh yeah Eddie... this is good stuff..." as his mouth is watering and his face shows clear disgust. Guess you can't blame the two for trying to show interest anyways!
i gave my buddy a founders porter and he told me it taste like guiness. my beer spewed out my nose in laughter. plz man stop! hahaha
I'm new to BA and the craft beer world but the one time I brought a mix-six to a party instead of drinking the bud light keg people looked at me like I was snooty. The next time we had a get together, people immediately pegged me as the guy that drinks, and I quote, "Weird fancy beers". How the hell is Redhook fancy?
I was at a college bar with a good bottle selection and Old Rasputin was their weekly special. I order one and the (slightly inebriated) friend next to me says "i'll have what he's having". I warn her saying she probably wont like it, as she is holding a Coors Light and I tell her it's a lot different than what she's drinking, she replies "beer is beer". We get the Rasputins, and she takes one sip and nearly vomits, then says "thats the worst beer i've ever tasted, it's like dirt" and gives hers to me, which I then hand off to another friend of mine who drinks craft.
On two occassions different people have told me a craft beer tastes like dirty feet, and for completely different beers. One time was Victory's Golden Monkey and the other time was some IPA I can't remember.
There is a ladder that has to be climbed when getting into craft beer. Your palate needs to develop and refine in order to appreciate great beers; just like wine, whiskey, or vegetables. Price is another barrier that people struggle to get through. "Why would I get 6 beers when I can get 12 for the same price?"
These people can't be blamed for their sad, sad ignorance. What we can do is start them at the bottom of the ladder with Belgian whites, wheat beers, and saisons. Throwing an IPA or Imperial stout at someone who has never had one is asking for trouble.
Drinking Golden Money is like having large breast on your face. . . It's great.
Or for hilarious results.
I've probably heard that one the most. They usually understand better when I dumb-it-down that the beer I'm drinking is typically a good deal stronger abv-wise than their BMC (ie "one of these is equal to two Bud Lights"). All of a sudden their tone changes a bit, lol.
I like how ~half of these are 'Your beer is too bitter/dark for me to handle' and the other ~half are 'You drink sissy beer.'
Yep. See that all the time around here.
"I am the master of my own destiny. Please leave me to it, and you worry about your own beer"
/truer words have never been spoken
//these threads are the worst
My mom isn't really a beer drinker but she likes to taste the beers I drink. I just gave her a taste of a Ranger IPA from New Belgium and her exact words were, "Fuck! This tastes like fucking horse piss!"
"I like that; it's really good. But I just want a PBR right now."
I think some IPA does taste spicy. Victory Hop Devil comes to mind first.
I recently went to the local sports bar with my Bud Light Lime loving best friend to watch the Michigan State men's basketball game. I was enjoying a nice pint of Hopslam and he ordered a Corona Light, as is typical of him in these types of places. Shortly after, A few ladies come in and just so happen to sit next to him at the bar. He instantly engages them in conversation ( He chases tail everywhere he goes, And he fails 99.9% of the time ). One of the girls noticed my Hopslam and asked what it was, So I told her. My friend then commences his bullshitting. He tells her " Yeah, the only time I drink Corona is when I'm washing my mouth out in between craft beer ". She then goes on to ask what a craft beer is. He replies, And I quote " Breweries like Bell's, Funders, Lagnitas, ". Yeah that's right, He can't even say the names of the breweries right. Anyway, He chugs down his Corona and in what I'm assuming is an attempt to impress these ladies, Orders a Hopslam. As soon as the pint is sat down in front of him he takes a large gulp. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. He looked as though it was about to start crying, But he also looked as though the beer was sour. He quickly fixed his face and said " Damn that's a good beer ". I ended up drinking the rest of the pint for him.
There must be a lot more people out there that drink horse piss, sweaty assholes, dingleberries, and dirty feet than I realized. Given my limited experience drinking these things, I would be hard pressed to describe beer that way.
My dad earnestly asked me if Torpedo is a beer. Called me confused. Drainpour
You have succeeded as a father
My best friend and I were at a little european-style bar with limited taps and bottles and I had just ordered a Guinness. A random guy came up to the bar to order this Budweiser and commented, "Enjoying your ice cream?", referring to the ample head. I chuckled as he went on about "Isn't that too thick/heavy/etc?" and I proceeded to explain to him how my Guinness would likely float on top of his beer in a glass. He actually listened and seemed interested.
Typical answers from my AB-INBEV drinking friends...
"No thanks, i don't want to ruin the flavor of my bud light"
"I don't like dark beers... they're to heavy."
"I don't like anything that's not made by Budweiser."
"No I don't drink that foofy stuff."
"Tastes like an IPA."
Is actually green flash double stout.
Took a friend of mine to KTG day a few years back. He said it tastes like chocolate syrup beer. He refers to any stout as such now.
"This tastes like Sam Adams"
"This is too hoppy"... Oh yeah? That gruit that I just gave you?
My family says the same thing too me. I always crack a bottle of surly darkness during Christmas and my uncle always asks me how the "motor oil" tastes.
Budweiser Miller Coors
One of my brother's buddies tried my surly furious once and told me it tasted like bong water. I couldn't help myself, i had too make a smartass comment about his bud light.
"I don't like beer I have to chew."
"Have you had the Bud Light Lime-A-Rita?! That stuff will **** you up, it's freaking 8%!!!"
"Why would you want your beer to be bitter?"
One friend refers to any hoppy beer negatively as Lychee beer. Another friend thinks they all taste like....coffee!?? I don't get the coffee one, but i can understand the Lychee comment.
" Tastes like beef ramen noodles and tomato soup! This is fucking terrible! Where the hell did my Bud Light Lime go? "
My friend when given a drink of my Trois Pistoles.
heard that many times. It could be a smokey bock and people will say, it reminds me of guiness. I guess everything tastes like chicken too.