If I were emperor of craft beer for a day...

All beer would have easy to read and understand date codes, i.e bottled on...

 

I'll take care of corks for you, on my day, every single beer in the US, coming fresh out of the brewery, would have be canned! Shut down every bottle line, bring in the mobile canning unit, done.

 

You needed pliers to take the cage of a cork?

I agree that cork and cage's are a bit uneccessary but I think it's more tradition than anything. I know a lot of Belgian beers that were formerly cork and caged are moving towards a standard pry-off cap (ex: St. Bernardus). I personally don't mind cork and cage (I rather like them) but I can understand why you would want to ban them

 

THIS! Bottles would have obvious dates that you don't need a window, a magnifying glass, and a decoder ring to read.

I'd also eliminate those new 6pk plastic tops (like on Jai Alai). Can't grab on the run! You need 2 hands.
And sucks would exclusively be sold in cans (to extend freshness).

 

All beer would have easy-to-read expiration dates like milk and having expired beer on the store shelf would be illegal (A few exceptions could be made based on style).

 

And none of this "best by" nonsense. I can decide all by myself, thank you..

 

There's something about a bottle that really appeals to me but I could definitely go for all beer being canned. The cans definitely prolong the life of a beer by lessening the effect of a lot of the things that can spoil a beer in a bottle.

 

No more wax tops. Yes they look fancy but they add nothing but grief to opening the bottle

 

Build some sort of wormhole between NYC and OR

 

I'd overhaul the laws and regulations around shipping beer (take it easy guys, this is only wishful thinking )

 

No one would complain about BMC anymore, people would accept that people have different tastes. Its fine beer for many occasions. Is it my favoite....no. Is it my go to .....no. But there is nothing wrong with it.

 

THIS! So, do I genuflect before the Emperor or curtsy

 

I would change my title to emperor of beer

 

Seconding mandatory dates for all beers, especially IPAs and other hop-forward beers, and STONE BEER WOULD COME IN CANS.

 

lol - f**k - just noticed that this thread would have made your list

 

Declare a free beer day.

 

Oh, they didn't tell you where to find it yet? Oops! Guess I shouldn't have said that... Forget this post. This isn't about the wormhole you are looking for.

 

@jlsims04

For that argument to work, you'll have to find me some people who explored several varieties of different beer, tasted all of them with an open mind, and then came to the conclusion that BMC is superior. I've never met such a person. I suppose one must exist somewhere.

The other side of people not complaining about BMC anymore, BMC would have to stop monopolizing tap lines and high visibility shelf space, and advertise their product based on taste and not based on sex or on their consumer base's resistance to change. Pass that law and I'll stop complaining about BMC.

If I'm emperor of beer:

Beers with rice or corn adjuncts would have to label themselves 'Corn beer' or 'Rice beer'.

Ingredients on the label. (Budweiser is to beer as Sunny Delight is to juice.)

 

Ive never been to a store where the BMC was taking up the best shelf space. Usually it is containted to 1 or 2 cooler doors and stacks in the back corner. All shelf space is for craft as it the rest of the cooler.

Why stop at rice and corn. We prize adjunct riddled beers. Also budweiser puts it right on the label that it is brewed with rice.