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NBS BIF #11: Nigel Tufnels wet dream

Discussion in 'Beer It Forward' started by BBThunderbolt, Mar 3, 2020.

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  1. Pinz412

    Pinz412 Initiate (0) Nov 20, 2019 Pennsylvania
    Trader

    Since @Roy_Hobbs requested more classic hip-hop I feel the need to oblige him. No conversation about the classics would complete without some battle raps. My personal favorite beef from before the Biggie vs Pac or Nas vs Jay-Z era was Kool Moe Dee vs LL Cool J. I was always on the Kool Moe Dee side of this battle and he put the nail in the coffin with this jam. Not only does he eviscerate LL lyrically, the video is full of great imagery mocking the Mama Said Knock You Out video and other LL songs. Classic.
     
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  2. DonnieT79

    DonnieT79 Initiate (0) Jan 3, 2020 Ohio

    My first concert ever was Run DMC and Beastie Boys, around 1987 or 88 or so. It was amazing.
     
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  3. Whyteboar

    Whyteboar Grand Pooh-Bah (3,200) Jun 7, 2008 Michigan
    Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    The amazing @JayORear has done it again from his lockdown site away from home!

    He sent me a box of Tastykake Kandy Kakes! I’d never seen these before, and what atrocious spelling! I will admit though, they are pretty tasty!
    [​IMG]
    Oh, and he sent some beer:

    Tired Hands “Technicolor Splendor”
    Tired Hands “We Are All Infinite Energy…”
    Tired Hands “Hop Hands”
    Tired Hands “Wish Fulfillment”
    Lawson’s “Sip Of Sunshine”

    So the people at Tired Hands Brewing have very interesting taste in art, no doubt. After seeing some reviews here lately I’ve been wanting to try some, and behold! Jay sends me some. Really looking forward to drinking these soon.
    Thanks so much Jay! Stay safe!
     
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  4. BBThunderbolt

    BBThunderbolt Grand High Pooh-Bah (7,282) Sep 24, 2007 Kiribati
    Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    @Pinz412 , can you believe the balls on this fucking guy? Dissing the most awesome TastyKake ever, right in front of me?

    Fuck.

    Good thing I'm not in charge anymore......
     
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  5. FBarber

    FBarber Grand High Pooh-Bah (7,161) Mar 5, 2016 Illinois
    Super Mod Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    Well thats not true. Peanut butter Kandy Kakes >>>>

    Also butterscotch Krimpets are also better :stuck_out_tongue:
     
  6. BBThunderbolt

    BBThunderbolt Grand High Pooh-Bah (7,282) Sep 24, 2007 Kiribati
    Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    Oh, it's a tie with the peanut butter, depending on mood.

    Butterscotch just ain't my thing, so carry on, and you can have my ration.
     
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  7. Pinz412

    Pinz412 Initiate (0) Nov 20, 2019 Pennsylvania
    Trader

    HAHAHA! I'll put up with some playful spelling to enjoy that sweet sweet goodness any day.
    My wife loves the butterscotch Krimpets. Every time we're back around Philly we have to grab a few packages at Wawa. Unfortunately the Krimpets don't make it over to this side of the state, so I have to make due with what we find.
     
  8. JayORear

    JayORear Grand Pooh-Bah (3,034) Feb 22, 2012 Pennsylvania
    Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    I was skeptical of TastyKakes before trying them, mostly cuz the GF claimed they were better than Hostess. But, shit, she's right. The Weis supermarkets around here literally have walls full of them. Thought it was as good a food sample from the area as any, though I didn't mean to start a debate! Cheers, man, there's at least one more box coming.
     
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  9. Roguer

    Roguer Grand High Pooh-Bah (7,515) Mar 25, 2013 Connecticut
    Super Mod Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    So, time for the some good news/bad news! Seriously, if you skip everything else, make sure you read the worst news at the very bottom. :wink:

    Good news: beer showed up today, thanks to the esteemed @JayORear !

    Bad news: it's the box he shipped in early March, that USPS lost.

    Worse news: it's in the condition you might expect.

    Good news: USPS wrapped it in plastic and delivered it anyway. (Going back to the USPS/UPS/FedEx discussion: if my UPS deliveryman dropped the package on my doorstep and heard it break, he'd mark it down as "delivery refused" and take it back to the distribution center. This has happened more than once.)

    Bad news:

    [​IMG]

    Worse news: the only beer that might have been salvageable with the time and heat, the imperial stout (with cocoa and peanuts!), was the one that broke.

    Sad news: I'm going to try the PtE (my only 5.0 beer ever!), but that beer already doesn't age well for my palate, and I think two months of heat treatment almost certainly killed any chance it's drinkable. The two NE-style IPAs, similarly, are likely lost causes, although they are intact. ("Don't wait! Drink this today!" one can taunts me. Thanks, Existential Irony! :stuck_out_tongue: )

    But I saved the best for last.

    Worst News: the very first can I removed from the package (wearing gloves, with a garbage bag on hand for broken bottles/cans and beer-soaked debris) was a fruited Berliner Weiss. The bottom of the can was distorted and bowed out, but it was actually intact and not leaking.

    I set it down (gently) on the table, on its side, to get the next beer. You know how high most dining nook tables are? Pretty close to waist high on an average-size male adult?

    I never made it to the second beer in the box, because as soon as I set that beer down, it exploded. Beer sprayed everywhere into my dining nook, and all over everything: painting supplies, cooking supplies, you name it.

    And the beer can itself? It rocketed directly into my balls. (More specific targeting information is available upon request.)

    It's probably the first time I've found myself covered head-to-boots in warm beer, and had the beer-soaking not be the worst part of the experience. Not even close.

    So .... yeah, that's why there are no more pictures of the experience. I wish I made unboxing videos, because that would have been one of the best ever. (And no, I have no intention to re-create it at any time!)

    So there you have it, as an addendum for our delivery service discussion earlier: USPS will deliver it, no matter what and in any condition, and even if it takes them two months - but they will also punch you in the balls with a beer can.

    :grinning:

    I hope you all at least get a chuckle out of my misfortune (and Jay's, since he sent a dynamite (pun not intended) box of beer!).
     
  10. JayORear

    JayORear Grand Pooh-Bah (3,034) Feb 22, 2012 Pennsylvania
    Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    Holy. Shit. I mean, just wow. It's kind of unbelievable that it found its way through the system after two months, or that they would deliver it like that. I'm really sorry about the testicular incident, but almost even more that the Moksa bottle broke. That was a pretty great beer. Against all hope, I'm sending out another couple of boxes to other folks via USPS tomorrow. Fingers (balls?) crossed . . .
     
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  11. FBarber

    FBarber Grand High Pooh-Bah (7,161) Mar 5, 2016 Illinois
    Super Mod Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    Gives a whole new meaning to a ninja strike.
     
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  12. Roguer

    Roguer Grand High Pooh-Bah (7,515) Mar 25, 2013 Connecticut
    Super Mod Pooh-Bah Society Trader


    Yeah, I was amazed that it arrived at all, and that it arrived wrapped in a plastic bag!

    As to the ... ummmm, incident ... it almost reads like a bizzarro-world Dear Penthouse letter.

    "I never thought this would happen to me ..."
     
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  13. thebeers

    thebeers Grand Pooh-Bah (5,393) Sep 10, 2014 Pennsylvania
    Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    Ouch! At least you got a funny story out of it.

     
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  14. FBarber

    FBarber Grand High Pooh-Bah (7,161) Mar 5, 2016 Illinois
    Super Mod Pooh-Bah Society Trader

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  15. Pinz412

    Pinz412 Initiate (0) Nov 20, 2019 Pennsylvania
    Trader

    Wow! @Roguer my sympathies are with your beers and your, um, boys. That was one of the funniest stories I've read in forever and laughed so loud that my wife needed to hear the story as well. Instant classic!
     
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  16. Roguer

    Roguer Grand High Pooh-Bah (7,515) Mar 25, 2013 Connecticut
    Super Mod Pooh-Bah Society Trader


    I'm glad! Long-winded as it was (and winded as I was), I hoped it would at least bring a smile and, grace willing, a laugh here and there. :slight_smile:
     
  17. Dimidiata

    Dimidiata Pundit (812) Jul 14, 2017 California
    Trader

    Jesus christ man, put some sort of "don't be drinking a beer while reading this" warning before you post things like this. I nearly destroyed a second keyboard this week by spitting beer all over it.

    Hilarious story, sorry about the beer loss though!
     
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  18. Whyteboar

    Whyteboar Grand Pooh-Bah (3,200) Jun 7, 2008 Michigan
    Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    Okay, I don't actually get to literally laugh out loud very often, but you made me scare my dogs.
    Awesome story, I'm pretty sure i'd still be pouting if i had been the recipient! Kudos for seeing the funny side.

    Brilliant. Just brilliant.
     
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  19. Whyteboar

    Whyteboar Grand Pooh-Bah (3,200) Jun 7, 2008 Michigan
    Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    Jay, for all our sake, *PLEASE* just the fingers. No more painful funny stories today!
     
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  20. Roy_Hobbs

    Roy_Hobbs Pooh-Bah (2,219) Jan 21, 2017 Connecticut
    Pooh-Bah Society Trader

    This is my favorite post of this entire BIF! The name of BIF #12 needs to somehow reference this incident (and we need to put our creative hats on to think of a name for said incident). This is hall of fame material.
     
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