Why can't I find a beer I like?

If you're not trolling, two thoughts:

1) Just don't drink beer. Your wallet and waistline will thank you.
2) If you're really dead set on it, just keep trying everything you can get your hands on. Beer, for the vast majority of people, is an acquired taste. This time next year, you may love something that you weren't a big fan of now.

 

Try some sweet stouts where there wont be a smokey flavor. Go for Southern Tier Mokah, Choklat or Javah.

 

10 cubes in your coffee,there is no beer for you. Try white wine with 5 cubes.

 

Ditto.

The guy doesn't like hoppy beers, roasty beers, or high-gravity beers. There are plenty of other styles out there, guys!

Amber lagers, dunkels, Munich helles, brown ales, etc., should all be fertile ground for exploring.

 

Must be a Soft Dookie....

 

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

 

Hands down my favorite part of the post! I never considered myself ignorant or poor whilst drinking "shitty beers". However, ignorant people rarely know they are ignorant and happy people rarely worry about their income.

My suggestion to you is get a time machine give all your money away and go back to your youth and drink shitty beers because you are just another one of the sheeple who like flavorless beer. There is a reason it's a multi-billion dollar industry.

 

Go to Barnes and Noble and buy one of those big yellow Craft Beer for Dummies books and learn all there is to know.

 

Wow, people here are assholes. What about being advocates? At least be nice for god's sake.

 

OP asks for ideas on cornerstone brews. BAs respond with suggestions for the most expensive beers on the shelves. Or not on the shelves.

Try Stella. Fairly simple flavors with a touch of honey. I think you would like that.

 

No Creme Brûlée love?

 

I can see through the Smokescreen. This is an Obvious Troll, really good one at that. We are Advocates, yet are not easily deceived. That's why there is so many Snarky remarks.

 

While I think OP may be trolling, I liked this line the best

 

I think most of us like the taste of good beer, its not all about the alcohol for me.

Maybe your just not meant for the finer things in life?

 

Maybe you just don't have a taste for beer. My wife hates beer. The best review of a beer she has ever given was Dogfish's Tweason'ale and at that she called it "meh." She also thinks that all beers taste the same whether it's a PBR, IPA or Porter.

 

If you really want to enjoy beer go do manual labor in the sun all day, then drink pretty much anything.

 

Plus it's no coincidence that this came soon after another (non-troll) thread by another new joiner that was also:

tl;dr
written by someone with a possible sweet tooth
mentioned cider
mentioned quite liking an AAL

definite troll this one

 

PBR you ASAP.

 

Sam Octoberfest, Blue moon something, start there.

 

Or maybe beer isn't your thing.