Shelf Turd Olympics Hints and Hauls

maybe I will send you a year old assassin, that is close to a threat.

 

I just recieved a ton of beer from my targets state

 

Teaser of the 1st haul I hope my target will receive...374 oz so far!! Could be a second haul, if my target acts right....

 

I am planning on sending a little sumpin from my targets wants.

 

I am not sure if hunting is legal in my targets state, but I am definitely hunting for more swag and ohhhh...what else are we sending....oh yeah a shit ton of local beer. Is there a weight limit with FedEx? I may break a back prior to a porch. Hope the workers comp is good with their company.

 

ahhhhhh 4 weeks old....if it's Pliny or Heady I'd drink it!!!

 

4 week old IPAs??? 3 1/2 week IIPAs are ok... Right???

 

I hope my target likes Kakes that are Tasty.

 

My target is real classy

 

Updated haul list:

(3) 750ml
(4) 22oz
(1) 16oz
(4) 12oz

And counting...maybe?

Hint: my target knows how to use a weapon.

 

I've driven through my target's state but never actually stopped in there for an extended period although one of my celebrity look a likes claimed residence in this state.

 

Hint 1: I was inside my target('s state) in January...but I didn't get to visit my favorite local brewery while I was there.
Hint 2: Out of the 4 main directions, my boxES will go to great lengths in one of them, and not very far in another.
Hint 3: My target has many ambitious wants(some that will be fulfilled) but that list will likely grow after he tastes my state.
Hint 4: My target is near one my(& everyone else's) favorite breweries and if he wanted to be a regular trading partner after this I would not shed a tear.

Hint 5: If I walked(nonstop) to my target's city, it would take 58 days if I slept 8 hrs a night....however if I biked doing the same, I could be there in 22 days. (All data provided by google maps, any rebroadcast, reproduction or use of this information w/o expressed written consent of the internet is prohibited)

 

Hint #1: I will be shipping outside of my time zone.
Hint #2: I will be shipping to a state with the letter A in it.
Hint #3: I will be shipping east of the Mississippi River.
Hint #4: I will be shipping to a state with a fraction of the State House of Representatives of my state.

 

First shopping trip done
5 - 22oz
4 - 12oz
2 - 500ml
2 - 375ml
One more trip this weekend for growlers and swag. The local IPA I picked up was bottled 5/13 so it may be skunked by next weeks landing time.
Hint - there may be some wax and corks on my bottles.

 

HINT: My targets state has the letter "N" in the name of the state

*****Bonus Hint*****
My target loves Beer (dead giveaway)

 

What do you know, me too! And my target has posted in this thread.

 

Yuck a 5/13 IPA a week old.....don't be my sender, don't be my sender.....naaaaah I'd happily take that from CA!

 

I'm shipping to a target where weirdos show people where they live by pointing on their hand. I'll also be shipping by the 24th at the earliest.