Afflictions home brewers suffer from...

Do you also give cooking advice to waiters?

 

That is exactly my point VikeMan! Hahaha, was hoping someone would catch that.
Yes it was a joke.

 

FFB: Frequent finger blisters from grabbing the bottom rim of the keggle that takes longer than two minutes to cool after heating the sparge water ...again! (Who knew?)

SBBS: Shrinking BetterBottle Syndrome - After the plate chiller clogs, you decide to just dump the still too hot wort into the BB and chill it when you get home. (I think my 6 gal BB became a 5 gal after that incident)

DGD: Dead Grass Disorder - this is a 6' diameter brown patch of lawn. This strikes after you forgot to divert the hot discharge from the chiller to a suitable temperature tolerant vessel and, instead, let it run on the grass that you recently spent real money to fertilize.

 

BST- otherwise known as BullShit Throwdown-itis. Knee-jerk response to someone who espouses a homebrew process different or counter to conventional wisdom

 

To be fair, we should also include:

BSP - BullShit, Plain: Extraordinary claims for a homebrew process different or counter to conventional wisdom, with no evidence other than anecdotal judgments regarding one's own AMAZING beer. Condition is statistically correlated with Cellar Blindness, and may share a common pathology.

 

Empty Keg Panic Disorder (EKPD) - is when you run out of homebrew and suffer from beer based anxiety and depression due to the prospect of purchasing and drinking "professionally made" beer.

I'm not saying there isn't any good beer to buy. I just prefer to drink homebrew most of the time. Buying malt and hops is fun. Buying beer? Not so much.

 

i burned through 7 kegs of HB at a recent party. 35 gallons. every friggin day i see those empties fills me with EKPD. i need help and the only cure is more brewing. frequent brewing. must brew.

 

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7 corney kegs.
one sixtel.
one 1/4 barrel
three half barrels.
yeah, my friends can drink. but now we have a severe beer drought.

 

Woo, I hope they chip in to your ingredient costs!

 

Packaging/Transfer Procrastination Disorder- The overwhelming feeling that it can wait until next week, and then the week after, ad infinium. I know I suffer from it.

 

Despite homebrewing once in a while I still buy the same amount of beers as I usually do so I really suffer from an empty wallet. That and Terminal Impatience are like a big deal for me.

 

Maybe I'm doing it wrong but I get major knee issues during bottling.

 

Try sitting on a stool as you fill them up?

 

EKPD is something I have been inoculated against.

 

OCMFFISD - Oh Crap My Ferm Fridge Is Dead - went out last night to check on my Saisons and they just keep creeping up higher and higher. Open the fridge to find it is blowing room temp air. Compressor must have gone out on it. This has lead to MSB - Macgyver Style Brewing - using what you have on hand to overcome undesired issues, like shoving frozen water bottles between your 2 Better Bottles in said fridge to get the temps back in line...

 

PTSD. I dropped the lid to my HLT 20 gallon kettle, and bent the lip pretty bad (one week after I bought it)

Carrying a carboy to the fermentation room once threw my back out.

 

I had restless sleep last night, during which I had nightmares about getting break material into the fermenter.

 

Poor Denny has the thousand-yard-stare.