Best quotes from reviews

This is gold! Looks like a list of Bill Brasky accomplishments.

 

For Bells 30th Anniversary Ale:

"Pours as black as Charlie Murphy"

 

Only when I die.

I CANnot keep up with the preponderance of CANned beers and I predict the death of glass longneck bottles in the next five years. Buy stock now in ALCOA (raw material provider) and the Ball Corporation (main producer of extruded aluminum cylinders) and thank me later!

 

I think I've posted this before, but I don't like them. They are my least favorite style of beer.

 

Loved this @RaulMondesi note regarding Alpines O'Briens IPA --"Little to small hints of citrus, taste is ok, but still somewhat flat on the tongue. Not Laura Flynn Boyle "flat," but it could definitely use a wonder bra."

 

Truly a classic. The fact that it took this long to surface in this thread makes me worry that many of the old timers are inactive or gone.

 

There was a review once and I think it may have been by khaismus but I'm not sure but it was either pure poetry or the ramblings of a person on psychedelic drugs (or both) but it was pure awesomeness...I will find it. Check out this one that I did find which is pretty cool:
http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/313/1545/?ba=khiasmus

 

@mynie review for Dark Lord.

http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/26/7520/?ba=mynie

"Giving this to a child would be like giving them a bar of acid and taking them to Disneyland. Nothing would ever make them feel happy again, ever."

 

"Lacing is left everywhere like a blue-balled ejaculation onto a prostitutes stomach

"

 

Written about Natural Light

"I sit down with an ice cold can, and only the purest thoughts of alcoholic absolution run through my mind. Cracking open the top and listening to the hiss of the carbonation, I'm immediately transported to a land of verdant, rolling hops and ice cold mountain streams. Indeed, this is a beer meant for kings and gods, that much is apparent from the outset. A routine pour reveals a beer steeped in ineffable majesty. The cascading, golden lager results in sumptuous suds, with a head that literally begs for a deep, long drag from the dry gulch of the thirsty everyman. Beer meant for men, and not much else needs to be said. Brewers can do it right, or do it wrong, and Natural Light hits a slam dunk every time. I love this beer more than I love pizza."

 

An all time classic. The first review I thought of when I read this thread.

 

He had a few like that, and I also couldn't find them, but I will. He gets a pass with those, the ones I did in that manner were all reported and deleted.

 

My thoughts exactly. I went through the first three pages fully expecting it to be at the top. I've been a member for nearly seven years, truly active for a little over five. I know I'm not one of true old timers, but there are a lot of high quality characters who haven't been seen in a while that newcomers will have no familiarity with.

Also: Jesus Christ, I've spent five years of my life talking about beer?!!

 

Just stumbled upon this one for Brooklyn's Hand & Seal. Notice the rating vs. the review.

"4.42/5 rDev +2.3%
look: 4.75 | smell: 4.5 | taste: 4.25 | feel: 4.5 | overall: 4.5

Poured into a 13 ounce snifter, pours a dark thick orange. Lots of orange and bourbon vanilla sweetness on the nose, monopolized by orange zessed on the flavor, not nearly good enough for a $20+ bottle. Out of all the disappointing BK special releases this is the strongest, and it's still miles away from being worth it, shame on you Brooklyn Brewery and shame on you Garrett Oliver, you are probably the worst brew master in the world, all your special release brews SUCK!!!"


Classic.

 

Yes I really get pissed off too when a brewer can't crank out 5's every time

 

with ya there lol

 

Was recently shopping for a kegerator and found this review. For some reason, I don't think I would have these "problems"...

At first loved it BUT now am finding limited kegs fit in this cooler. The new rubber "coated" Miller products do NOT fit as well as Coors 1/4 keg -- too big of circumference at widest pt. Bud products okay but not a fan of Bud Light and/or Bud. My preference is Miller/Miller Lite but 1/4's do NOT fit due to rubber coated kegs. Not even sure 1/6 will work --- too tall when "tap" is added and would definitely lose shelf space where I like to keep cold glasses.

 

What can I say, it's a really dark beer...

 

Dude his reviews are fucking hysterical

@1BeerToRuleThemAll read this thread from the beginning

 

Why, thank you Father, for I have surely sinned!