Having Fun & Combatting Beer Snobbery

What a bunch of regulars there are here. I only drank beer once, in 2012. It was my bottle of Schlafly Titanium



Actually, I didn't drink it, it's in my cellar. Will consider trades.

 

skaal!

 

I am more discriminating than most. I will drink only the smoothest lager in the world. It must be brewed the hard way, by craftsmen who sweat the details and who measure twice but cut only once. It must be aged for hours over Fagus grandifolia shavings that have been raked into piles by people who believe in something. This nectar of the gods is not meant to be dissected, fussed over, nor sipped. It is truly not for everyone.

Oh, and it must be brewed by people who have horses. Not ponies, but horses. Big ones.

 

I hope you don't forget to put an orange slice on the rim.

 

I will only drink KBBS, and then only if I get it sent to me after posting in the ISO/FT forum, "ISO KBBS, FT- NOTHING, that's right NOTHING, I want you to send it to me because you are a fool and I am Master Of The Universe. I won't even thank you, just send me the beer! Do it now!"

 

I only drink wort straight from the hydrometer.

 

Cheap date

 

frutarian beer: only beers made from fruit and grains that have fallen naturally?

 

As a Wёrkplacesafetysnob©, the strongest take away from that video was that crawling inside that fermenter was clearly an OSHA confined space violation.

 

That goes without saying. An integral part of the organic drinking experience is flicking an orange peel off the rim of the glass with cool detachment and casual abandon.

 

I only drink loons that have been smuggled into then out of a maximum security prison.

And I only drink Atwater beers with my left hand because i can type the word Atwater without using my right.

 

Concrete is also commonly used in The Rhone Valley to store and age excellent wine.

 

My great great uncle from Bavaria was an archaeologist that found a Visigoth beer recipe in a Spanish cave, written on a wall in mastodon blood. Some industrial spy has since stolen the formula. That was a cool beer, like a cross between a gruet and a sahti. I had it once in Denver. Damn!

 

I only drink Dragon's Milk if I know that it came from an organically fed free-range dragon.

 

I only drink Trappist ales aged for at least 500 years in the Knights Templar catacombs, served in the Holy Grail by the Pope himself with monks chanting in the backround, in a dusty cobwebbed library.

 

I only drink my milk stouts straight from the fat, alcoholic cow's udder

 

I will only drink beers my wife doesn't like. Fortunately, that's kind of a lot.

 

I think that guy had a dark lord on another post...

 

I will only drink beer fit for a king. Why? He hasn't got shit all over him.