You're not a beer geek unless...

You drink to get fucked up, under the guise of drinking for the taste.

 

You read a thread about how Anderson Valley Briney Melon Gose is overly salty to the point of being undrinkable and your immediate reaction is "I have to get a six pack ASAP so I can check this out."

 

You do a double-take in your local CVS because you thought a box of "Gauze Pads" said "Gueuze Pads."

 

You convince your wife who just gave birth 6 days ago that she really needs to get out for a walk and you happen to suggest the route goes by the bottle shop that just got their KBS so she can get her 2 bottle limit . . . one week later you tell your wife another local bottle shop just got their KBS and she starts putting on the baby carrier . . . or maybe this belongs under a thread called: "you know you married well if . . ."?

 

You plan your entire vacation around a City's Beer Week and insist on going to multiple events each day.

 

This only qualifies if you have a couple small children in tow that you make miserable along with your spouse.

 

This is literally the only thread/response that would have been an acceptable resurrection 3+ years later. Well done.

 

When you hold bottles up to the light in the store just to see the clarity,then walk away and pick up a case of PBR.

 

You're always smelling your drinks of water and juices. My favorite is how every trip or vacation has to be planned fully, depending on the company, or somewhat on the beer.

 

You have a full refrigerator of great beer but a new release comes out. Then you have to buy it along with a new refrigerator. Did I mention dates, you turn your nose up at anything over 2 weeks old.

 

Ugh this has been me a few times. Go out with friends. Everything is good. Then four people asking you "Jacob which beer should I get and why?"

 

Even your 'mixpak' holder has to be in the BA's top 50 and you wear a disguise when picking up Miller Lite for the wife...

 

If you drink for 9 straight days (two adjoining weekends and the work weed) there's no need to add a qualifier. That's like adding a palette cleanser for a Berliner Weisse fest -- cool, but extraneous.

 

You risk death, divorce and destruction by convincing your non-beer-drinking wife to get up at 3AM and take a three-state drive to Freeport, ME, followed by standing in line for two hours in thirty-six degree weather.

 

You point out to the server/manager at a chain restaurant that Sam Adams is listed under "import", joking "I didn't know Boston wasn't in the US" and they give you a snide "That's what we are told to put it under" answer. I guess words don't mean anything anymore.

- Bartenders at your regular spots start asking you about new beers and beer info in general
- You make any and all excuses to drive several hours just to make a beer run to VT/ME/insert what ever beer destination
- You stopped going out to the movies because soda just won't do.
- You carefully research any new city you are traveling to and make a list of bars, breweries, and stores to visit
- Your idea of sight seeing is going to a bunch of breweries and bars
- A new-to-craft-beer drinker asks for a beer suggestion and you go into a presentation of different beer styles, history, availability, flavor profiles, and go on and on and on.... and on...
- Your friend who is new to craft beer and has been trying a lot of brews just assumes you've had everything since every time he talks about something that he just discovered... you've had it.
- You own so much glassware that probably 20% has never actually ever been used. (maybe just once for a brewery branded glass... because you just have to have the proper branded glass for the beer you're drinking!)
- Your friends, whom don't drink often, start to complain that they have no more room in their fridge because you keep bringing over too much beer.

 

You wear a brewery's shirt and ball cap to a brewfest . . . more like a beer dork lol . . .

 

stop and look at the date on everything you buy

 

You wake up after dreaming about beer and try to go back to sleep so you can dream more.

 

*15&

 

A local bottle shop will let you take home a case of beer without paying cuz they know you are good for it next Payday