Wasn't expecting a cork under that cap...

You are an adult over the age of 21 (assumedly). It's just about time to go crazy and make that long term investment in a corkscrew. Think of the world of options you will open up to yourself, and you will not have to avoid corked bottles anymore as you've stated.

Or go borrow one.

 

Swiss Army Knife. Those usually have cork screws in them.

 

I don't know what's real any more. So, what you're saying is, you don't have a corkscrew, a regular screw, internet access....maybe you could ask the Skipper or the Professor? If this is a real post, please do yourself a favor and buy a corkscrew, there are some great beers out there that are only accessible through the wonders of a corkscrew. Cheers.

 

Yeah, I was going to suggest Amazon prime if waiting two days isn't an issue!

 

Seriously, who doesn't have a few basic tools around? How do you hang pictures on your wall without a hammer? Go buy a small claw hammer, a small set of Phillips/Flathead screwdrivers, a set of visegrips, and small, medium and large adjustable wrenches before you go buy any more expensive beer.

As to your current problem, this is the one I have, from one of my favorite knife sites: https://agrussell.com/knife/190

 

"I don't own a corkscrew. I usually avoid corked bottles because of that fact."

Seriously?

 

That's the equivalent of saying "I don't own a glass, therefore I usually avoid craft beer"

 

I have trouble believing anyone, much less someone who has a hobby that involves drinking, does not have some sort of tool like a corkscrew, regular screw, screw driver, drill, etc. that could do this job. Furthermore, in the time it took for @Pantalones to write his/her posts in this discussion they could have run out to the store and purchased a $2 corkscrew or knocked on the neighbor's door to borrow one.

@Pantalones might be a trolling trying for a late 2016 entry in the running for BA's thread of the year!

 

How the hell did that system ever get developed? I've never seen/heard of that before.

 

Really old bottles (decades of age) of port can have partly deteriorated corks that will shred into the liquid if you use a corkscrew. ( Also the longer it takes to open and pour the faster the effects of oxidation will push one of those very mature and "fragile" beverages over its peak flavor point and start it down hill.)

The cutting technique is actually somewhat similar to ways of cutting glass bottles off midway down so the bottom half can be used as a glass. Generally technique has been in use for a very long time by glass blowers and others, especially in the era before factory made glassware.

Doing it at the table to show off the process is part of how the Sommelier justifies the corking change that goes along with that very expensive bottle of wine. (Also some customers want to be very sure they are getting the bottle they paid a lot of money to be able to enjoy.)

 

I was assuming he/she was too buzzed to drive to the store and thus needed an alternate solution (one that apparently excluded the use of any common household items/tools).

 

The funniest part of this thread to me is how few people suggest "just go out and buy a corkscrew."

 

That's because he wanted to drink the beer last night, which required some MacGuyvering. Since the bottle was put on the shelf, yes, now he can get that corkscrew.

 

Went through this the other day when I took a bottle to a friends house.
I used a Phillips head screw driver. Just pushed/twisted it in..then Just wiggle the cork out. No cork in beer or anything

 

Since the overall thread was a bit nuts, this little tool is used to open old wine and madeira. A bit $$$ but worth it if you're talking big bucks stuff and don't want to burn the house down.

https://thedurand.com

Madiera can be ancient and is recasked and recorked without sig issue to the wine given that it is already oxidized. Some madeiras can be enjoyed now that were late 1700s vintages (hold onto the check book) 1800s (they are several hundred a bottle) as well more accessible things from the 1900s. The corks are often very old and the wine is stored upright. One other benefit is you can open and stick any cork back in it for 10 years with essentially no ill effects.

 

Interesting tool indeed.

My wine exploration days are well over now but if I still were, I'd probably be purchasing that one, even if only for the conversational value and safety.

 

Uh....even the most seasoned street wino knows you can use a ball point pen or screwdriver to PUSH the cork in, rather than pulling it out.



Seriously though, go to a corner store and buy a corkscrew. The only reason to use anything else is if you were in a cabin in the woods during a blizzard and that was the only thing in the place to drink.

 

You could just break the bottle at the neck, the easiest, messiest way - strain through cheese cloth and drink.

 

Yeah - could drill out the cork also. When I saw that video of the port tongs, the first thing that occurred to me is wouldn't it be better to risk getting cork in the wine/beer, filter it and drink it - vs heating the wine/beer with the red hot tongs and risk getting fine un-filterable glass in your drink?

 

If done properly there's no risk of glass fragments. That's part of the point of doing it that way. No pieces of either cork or glass in the liquid.