I hate coffee. Help me learn to love stouts.

Like you, I can't figure out how something that smells as great as coffee smells, tastes as bad as coffee tastes. You'll be fine in the PNW, even though there are coffee shops every 8 feet, we've got plenty of beer to counter-act it. I'd suggest trying the Dry, Irish style Stouts (especially on nitro, really helps smooth out the flavors) and expanding out from there. Congrats on trying to expand your palate, and if you move out here, let us know, we'll get together for beer.

 

I love coffee but I'm not a huge fan of coffee stouts. Maybe you'll have the opposite effect.

 

well. i'd say you just do not like coffee, never will and you should avoid it. the beer world is vast. plenty of other options out there.

cheers.

 

You eat cigars?

 

Of course, what else would you use them for?

 

beer is food. if, for example, you do not like mushrooms, why would you go out of your way to learn to like mushrooms?

recognize that despite what the elitist beer pricks say, there is no such thing as being "good at beer". the consumption of beer is a consumerist pursuit for which there is no necessary skill level or qualification. just enjoy your beers as you wish and you'll be ahead of the curve.

cheers.

 

I think it spilled over a bit.

Left hand milk stout is awesome. If you havent opened it yet you are missing out.
Youngs double chocolate stout and terrapin Moo-hoo are both great.
Rogue chocolate stout is delicious as well as their shakespear oatmeal stout.

The list goes on but I would look for chocolate and oatmeal stouts. Stay away from imperials and coffee stouts for now. They are pretty intense. I love stouts but chocolate stouts are my favorite.
I hate coffee as well. But just made a coffee stout that tastes incredible.

 

I think you could get an interesting answer from Bill Clinton

I applaud the idea of alternate essential food groups but would substitute Bacon in place of the cigars and Bourbon in place of the peated Scotch. I feel about peated scotch the way the OP feels about Coffee.

as for topical content, roasted coffee is the result of the same process as roasting malt dark to make stout. Sugars in the beans/malts are carmelized and toasted dark. Its going to taste toasted/burnt to some no matter what. If that's the case, you might not ever be able to find stouts appealing. The Southern Tier suggestions for Creme Brulee and Chokolat are good. I dont care for them but lots of non stout likers do. Chokolat is so sweet and chocolatey it's like Hershey's syrup to me. I lean toward the hoppy end of the spectrum...hence the name.....so if you like hops, I would advocate using something like a Stone Sublimely Self-Righteous (or another Black IPA) as a potential gateway into stouts.

 

i hate coffee myself........ although........ I do love coffee ice cream.........and i drink stouts all the time..... come to think of it, i hate everything thats piping hot!.................... wheres the refreshment in that?