Forbidden Root (2018)

Woah, pretty big moves.

 

Toss in a curdled Very Mad Cow from a few years ago and then I'll be impressed.

 

This is the busiest time of year for me and the shit has hit the fan. I got a reindeer with a nose light out and the current political climate has made it incredibly difficult to import toys, not to mention I've gained about 20 pounds since this time last year so god knows how I'm going to make it down all those chimneys....

I thought we established Quilentro, JPlachy and HoW were all the same person?

 

Get my name out yer mouth.

 

This is going to turn into a Clue scenario again, isn’t it?

—-

A surprise blizzard picks up as the temperature suddenly drops. The usual suspects assemble around the share table, @PhilBallins dressed as sexy Santa, unloading a massive red bag of 30 odd bombers into the cooling trays. “HO HO HO! Lets get weird!”

The restaurant is strangely empty, with most folks staying in to avoid the snow.

“So, anyone seen @HouseofWortship?” “Any of you new people him?” “Check the spreadsheet”

“Ahem. I’M HOUSE OF WORTSHIP!” We turn to look as a shocked group, only to see @KrajDoesBeer’s leading lady make the declaration. A few of us catch @KrajDoesBeer as he faints.

“How could that be? I’m @HouseofWortship!” @Jplachy yells, appearing from the bathroom with Colt 45s taped to his hands.

And then the lights go out. The front door bangs open. “HOUSE OF WORTSHIP HAS ARRIVED!”

The lights flicker on. “Just kidding. It’s me, @jlsims04”

“Wait,” @Zoomslowik says, “who is that guy?”

A stranger has arrived, sprawled out in a pool of sour Maman.

@Chuckdiesel24 hustles over to check his pulse: “oh my god. He’s... drunk.”

Outside, the blizzard’s fury howls.

 

I'm saddened that I don't matter enough to make it into this amazing post

 

Oh, don’t worry. You and @croush and a few others will be in part two, “Murder on the Russian Imperial Express.” Sample below:

“What do you mean “coconut is an inferior adjunct?!” You’re an inferior adjunct!”

“Oh my god, does this homebrew have me in it?” [lifts shirt, revealing stitches] “wait, is this why I woke up in a bathtub full of ice again?”


@IlCraftWjgman tastes the homebrew again, “I mean... yeah, he had a point. I liked the coconut better.”

 

...and that’s when we never had another new person join the share. Sorry everyone.

 

This seems to have taken a Tarantinoin turn. Sounds more like a Hateful 8 knockoff.

 

Man this is turning into a giant share!

Glad to know I'm the one who had the decency to check on someone to be sure he's drunk.

 

This is incredible. I mean seriously. Just fantastic.

 

I did not come in here expecting Beer Advocate Fanfic, but this was quite enjoyable.

 

can someone please bring a can of VSOJ tonight? k? thanks.

 

No but I have some fresh bud and bud light to taste blind

 

You always bring the best macros <3

 

Looking forward to seeing everyone tonight. I’ll need to leave early, so I’m planning on arriving early and starting early if we get @KrajDoesBeer ’s blessing.

Remember, let’s do charitable donations!

 

bruh...but im coming late.....how are we going to coovie sour stouts if you're gone.