Revolution Brewing (2020)

“Alas, lads, he fought a great battle trying to hold this small hill against the terrifying hordes of Vanilla Walkers. We’ve named the hill Mount Coffee, and we bring all new recruits here when they Take the Black.”

“But what’s with all these vegetables growing around his grave marker? Are those... green peppers?”

“Silence! Pastry bois approach!! To battle! No cream, no sugaaaaaaaaaar!”

[this has been an excerpt from Book 7: Revolution in the Deep Wood]

 

For those that follow on the instas, you might have seen that I'm going to be auctioning off some brewery experiences to benefit Lurie Children's. The first one starts tonight. I was curious on your input for what would be a Rev "experience" that you think is realistic, special, COVID-possible, and would bring in a generous donation. So far I have 4 pretty different ones lined up, but want to continue soliciting advice especially on this one that I'd be able to have the most control over (since its where I work). Let's assume that all Deep Wood releases this Fall will be online like the Summer ones.

 

I may be speaking out of turn in case I missed something, but an ideal event would be a small group (6 people, say), or perhaps a 1 on 1 tour with the barrel masters (whomever makes up the BA brew and management team). Ideally something that lasts 3 hours, includes tasting with them, and something special that you couldn’t try or experience otherwise.

Simple, right?

 

Adunct the Next Deep Wood Release- a collab between someone willing to donate $$$$ and Rev.

 

There are non-experience items you could also offer. If I had the money, I'd surely support a good cause if I could also purchase the ability to:

• Be guaranteed 1 or 2 crowlers (up to Rev) of each and every beer that would be tapped, i.e. all sanctuary/1-off beers.
  
• Be guaranteed two 4-packs (or an entire allotment, whichever is greater) of every Deep-Wood released beer, especially if that meant I was still able to get an allotment the "normal" way. This is dependent on release, but I just assume VSOJ is coming back, and I just assume that people will be crazy.
• Have a "my table"
• Purchase a case of VSOJ
• Limited glassware
• Let someone buy the right to do a Deep-wood Pick. I.e., take 4 beers that Rev would consider putting into production to can for 2021-22 season. Let the person pick which of the 4 you guys actually make. Perhaps 4 is too many, maybe you guys can't decide between 2 - let them pick between the 2.

Honestly, the Crowler Idea is probably the most attractive from a beer-nerd perspective. If I had the money, and I was local, I'd lose my shit to be able to buy like 30 crowlers (if I wanted). That sounds ah-mazing.

 

What about creating a "Hero" for the winner that they help develop? Do it as a Small Batch 4pk or maybe even put it in as the debut in the League of Heroes 12pk and send them home with a couple cases. Have the can art in their likeness maybe? And if you want to kick it up even more, then $1 or whatever from every sale is donated to Lurie Children's?

Or forego the Hero piece and just do a Small Batch developed with the winner (can be done over Zoom) and then have them help on brew day. Have a couple check-ins and then invite them out for the tapping and send them home with some crowlers or however it's packaged?

The Deep Woods stuff would definitely get the beer nerds excited, but that whole process takes months/years. Unless you do something where they help Marty and the crew taste through the barrels and help decide the final blend for this year's Deth's Tar or Straightjacket (or whatever's up your sleeve) where everything is already aged and now it's go time.

I don't know, I'm a couple beers deep and tired of looking margins and spreadsheets.

 

Something similar to Joseph Phelps Insignia experience where you were given ~7 different wines that they use to blend for their Insignia bottles and you mix your own except obviously with beer. Marty could pull from a few different barrels for a barley/ryewine one and a stout one, can them so the person can be provided 'samples' from a bunch of different barrels (older/newer and sweeter/drier). Have them do a virtual or socially distanced in person blending experience with Marty and Jim and whoever they want from the brewery with like 3 friends? Then take the blend from the person who won and can it for them along with whatever Marty does to compare. Maybe like a case total? This makes it completely unique where the person can get exactly what they want and can compare to what Marty produces. IMO unique experiences are worth more than a guaranteed allotment of beer that the person was likely to buy anyway and I can't think of something more unique than making your own personalized blend of a Deep Woods beer(s).

 

Not sure if Lurie protects a trademark, but glassware that connected the cause to Deep Woods would be pretty cool imo

 

The nice thing about glassware is that it can further the cause. Glass (all things considered) is cheap. You can sell it at a "normal" price for a glass, market it as all profit going to the cause (as it should in that case), and if you make 500, you'll add an additional chunk to your donation.

 

Update: he's lowered his price to $4 + $16.00 shipping.

Somehow this makes him/her MORE of a scumbag to me.

 

Coffee is greater than vanilla. It is known.

 

R.I.P.

 

Does anyone else oscillate wildly between ‘fearfully staring at old Deep Wood cans as they gather dust with an existential terror that you’re running low’ and ‘drinking them as rapidly as possible knowing that Fall is almost upon us and a cellar can only hold so much?‘

[sips a 2019 VSOD, pondering the abyss]

 

Bro, do you even know how to ocelot?

 

Underrated Smiths song, apparently named as an Oscar Wilde pun.

 

Every. Single. Day.
I have three stages I flow through:
1) I'm good - plenty to last for this year and some into next
2) Why do I have so many Rev cans, more are coming soon.
3) OMG - I'm running out of Deep Wood...only 40 cans left!?!