NBS BIF #17 Hints and Hauls: Subaru Drivers Won't Keep Us From Our Magic Water Breakfast

I hope you get well soon, my friend.

 

I cut my own hair, but never change myself for it, so I don’t consider myself a barber.
Now Frank is a Barber but he probably doesn’t drive a Subaru.

 

Oh, shit, Terry's nemesis. What I remember of that guy made my mind see him less a barber to me and more a meth head, I guess.

 

Didn't @kemoarps have some Subaru hijinks?

 

Hint #1: I asked Dall-E 2 to give me a photo, based on a description of what I imagine to be a common event for my target.

 

I, too, was a Subaru driver, up until I was driving home from my very last day of work before taking the first half of my paternity leave in October, when I was rear-ended by a doofus 17 year old and his BMW too busy on his phone on his way to golf practice (none of which is exaggeration) and my little Forester was totalled (two days before my birthday nonetheless!).

I generally try to avoid UPS when possible these days, largely because the accident I mention above was at least partly caused by a UPS truck that decided pulling into the parking lot of the building they were delivering to would be too much trouble trying to turn around, and instead just stopped in the middle of the street.

Harrumph.

 

What an absolute travesty our flag is, too.
I'm no graphic designer, but between the unfortunate mix of colours, the words, the uninspired portrait... Our state has so much more aesthetically pleasing inspiration from which to draw, and the creative talent to pull it off!
Or just keep it simple and steal Cascadia's Doug!

 

It's a subtle repellent

"Oh, Washington's boring and tasteless...I'll go to North Dakota instead..."

 

Next you'll be telling kids to get off your lawn.

 

Our flag just got a redesign, which I think our local lawmakers could be doing better things with their time.

Went from this:



To this:

 

Haul Hint #3

I'm shipping East

 

Hint#2. My Target resides in a bigger landmass state than I. I think...

 

Hint #2
Unless I opt for the Columbus method, I'll be shipping eastward.

 

Hint #3
At some point I will lie.
Hint #4
I have had beer from my target's state.

 

Hint #1: I am not shipping to a state that shares the same initials as myself or my wife (neither married nor maiden name). Our daughter? Well, I've gotta save some room for future hints!!