Beer Horror Stories

Watched a drunk guy chug an entire bottle of Block 15's Belmont Station Anniversary Sour. Watch a different drunk guy chug an entire bottle of Logsdon Peche n Brett. Neither remembered anything.

 

Once I drank a Bud Light.............by a campfire................Haunts me to this day!

 

A long time ago I was an actor/musician at renaissance festivals after the festival shut down there was always a big party afterwards for the participants. One time when the beer was getting low we took up a collection and sent a runner out to score more beer and he made up the change by buying a case of Ketystone Light. It was left in the middle of the field surrounded by hundreds of people and survived the night untouched. It became a white elephant gift for years afterwards.It's still out there somewhere torturing poor ususpecting souls

 

As a bar manager/head bartender I have beer horror stories daily...most recent one being asked why I didn't carry Lime-a-Ritas if I was trying to expand our beer list :-/

 

Saw about 3 cases of 1992 &1993 Courage Russian Imperial Stout in a Glasgow circa 1994. Only bought 2 bottles.

Last year I passed on the chance to scoop KBS. It wasn't fresh enough for me.


Had easy access to Thomas Hardy's Ale continuously until it was discontinued. Never cellared a single one. (The four stages of regret)

Missed an opportunity to meet Michael Jackson in the mid 80s when he visited the Wellington Brewery in Guelph Ontario. I was chasing a girl at the time.

In the early 80s once an American uncle knew I liked beer he kept offering me sixers of Ballantine IPA to take home after every visit. I always declined saying it wouldn't fit in my luggage. Feeling smug, I secretly thought it was just another crap American beer.

There are many more.

 

My biggest beer horror story was going to the store not expecting to find anything special and saw that they had about 15 Firestone Walker Parabolas on the shelf. I bought one and when I got home, I thought why didn't I buy more!?! I returned to the store 2 days later due to my schedule....and they were all gone.

 

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out! A door slammed. The maid screamed. We come to her aid as she gasped for air. What is wrong my lady!? She points to the fridge as my eyes gaze deep into the abyss. The absolute horror lay out in front of me, we ran out of beer!

 

That guy who dumped his purchases at DLD a few years back certainly ought to be told by someone who knows it, esp. with those sad pics.

 

In the early morning commute from South Jersey to Philly for my very first Pliny day I decide to take a detour. The surroundings were familiar, as I drive past buildings I seem to remember being lectured in, and taking the occasional exam. Ah ha, it was bat country, where I transitioned from binge to craft. I stopped in a local beer shop to find two Big Bad Baptists sitting on the shelf (no collegiate student knows/wants/can afford that). I was delighted to see, put them, and many many others on the shelf to go get a basket to place them in. I was off to Philly, waited in line at Monks for two hours, drank the younger/elder/supplication all for the first time ever.
Upon my return home I open the box of goodies from my pit stop only to find NO Baptists. I called the store and sure enough they said they were placed on a shelf in a strange spot. They were the only bottles that did not make it to my basket.

About a month later I called an old co-worker I knew that attended Rowan. He went to the store and grabbed the one that was still left

 

Just happened to me... Went to a Indy store to get three Floyd's, they were absolutely flushed wih product. Got a bomber and a couple alpha king sixers as well as some ZD. You just can't score this in cincy. Get it back home and pop it open, the DIPA has zero hops, nothing left but Malt. The alpha king as well had seen its better days long ago. The only thing worth while was the ZD. Pretty much spent 50 bucks for a few bottles of ZD.

 

I'm picturing this guy walking up to his buds with a huge box full of fantastic beer, shit eatin grin ear to ear. Problem is he doesnt see the parking bollard in front of him. The huge box blocks his vision. His foot hits it, and screems from all around echo..

The box flies in extreme slow motion. Friends dive for the air born bottles but catch none. All is lost. One friend who has had too much to drinks starts to lick the parking lot and cuts his tongue on a broken bottle of Huna leftover from a bottle share and has to head to the hospital.

Am I close?

 

My goat ate my Billy beer can.

 

CSB time...at my fraternity, our house beer was keystone light. if a party was a real rager and we managed to rip through the keystone, the late-night back-up beer was natural ice. we were just asking people to puke all over the place.

 

Is this the one where the couple at make out point here strange noises and when they get home there's a beer bottle on the car's door handle?

 

Bought my most expensive beer to date. I couldn't stand it (Founder's doom). Severely dissapointed. it just wasn't for me.

 

Guess dropped and smashed might have been more accurate and descriptive.

 

The other day I opened my fridge and there was no beer in it.

 

In our neck of the woods the story is about a couple makiing out in a car on lovers lane when they hear about a sociopath who escaped the mental institution. They lock the doors and continue their amorous play when they notice a tapping coming from the roof. After talking about it the boyfriend gets out and looks around at what is causing the noise. To his dismay a mangled can of heady topper was hanging above the car, its contents dripping from a hole in its once beautiful aluminum skin. Drip... drip.... drip...