Trouble with wax

Just buy paraffin wax if your set on going that route.

 

Is it really that much work to just take a knife to it?

 

^ What he said. I just take a knife and gently slice it up the side like I'm filleting a fish. Pop your fingernails in there and pry it apart.

Also, get your wax from a homebrew shop or recycle it from other beer bottles. Glue stick and crayons seems odd.

 

And if you do it like I do, you end up with a disgusting brownish/gray colored wax

 

I saw some today that was this remarkable shiny purplish-brown. It looked like someone's poop after they ate maroon crayons and glitter.

 

This seems like one of those stories that will end with, "...and that's how I lost this finger."

 

Next time, just use a piece of black electrical tape. Much, much easier.

And no lost or stabbed fingers.

 

The glue stick and crayon thing typically works for me. Sure, it is sturdy but a half cut with a blade will do the trick before using the bottle opener. Could this be due to an issue with the proportions? i.e. maybe too little crayons/wax in the mix?

 

I would suggest using a serrated or toothed blade. Take the blade and apply it to the wax just below the crown. Pressing the blade firmly against the wax, begin to spin the bottle with your other hand. Do this until you feel the blade is against the glass the entire circumference of the bottle. At this point take the blade an press it into the top of the crown, bisecting the cap. Gently make a back and forth sawing motion, as you reach the cap, gently tip the bottle so you are cutting towards the cut made below the crown. Once you have connected both cuts, you should be able to pry off he wax on at least one side of the crow, giving you enough access to get an opener on the crown.

 

If the wax is that thick, surely you could heat it up some to make it easier to remove without damaging the bottle or the beer in the process?

Or just get a sawzall.

 

Speaking of trouble with wax, how the hell to I get the cement off my Struise Five Squared and Double Black?!? This is a serious question. Should I melt it?

 

You could try a PVC cutter. I would cut through the wax with a cutter just under the caps. Then you may be able to pry off the cap. A PVC cutter would be difficult to use to slice up the side of the bottle, but it will make a cut through the wax around the bottle neck.
http://www.grainger.com/Grainger/DAWN-Pipe-Cutter-2TKV7?Pid=search

 

Lasers and science. It's the only way

 

I heated up a knife and cut around the cap and then had a go with a bottle opener. But the bottle opener broke.... So I then cut away some more with a hot knife and used a bigger, stronger bottle opener and this finally did the trick. Beware though, the was shatters when you get the cap off!!!

 

I was thinking of taking a lighter to it, or some hot iron. The "cement" on the five squared is softer than the Double black. This picture makes me think that melting is the way to go:

Photo Credit: Michael Donk (Brew Bokeh)