"How to talk like a beer snob"

every time I see/hear "quaffable" my skin crawls

 

Quaffable.

 

I only tried that word once, and it had a terrible mouthfeel.

 

haha - it's like smoking - you just took 15 mins off my life

 

That is pretty funny stuff...of course some,"cough, cough" will disagree.

I will geek out and say the first one is wrong...IMHO...I actually think "big Beers" have more flavor?
“I’m really into big beers.”
“I exclusively drink beers with a huge alcohol percentage and don’t really care that much about the flavor.”

This one is good and probably true for a few of us...
“This is one of the highest-ranked beers in the world.”
“BeerAdvocate is my homepage.”

This is my favorite though and made me LOL...
“I haven’t seen this beer since I had it at GABF.”
"I just shortened the name of the Great American Beer Festival because I am insider-y and treat beer like hippies treat the Grateful Dead. I am really hoping you reply by saying you were there too, and then we kiss deeply."

Still laughing

 

That article would probably be funnier if it were written by someone who both likes and knows something about craft beer.

 

Talking to bottle shop clerk in an un familiar location or town:

" So... is everything on the shelves out here all you have in stock? Anything in the back? "

 

But I love Harry Potter!

 

This article is already out of touch with BA culture. The new coolest thing is to defend BMC any time anyone takes a swipe at it or to gloat about how cheaply one buys beer. Real beer snobs take cost per ounce very seriously.

 

Got a great kick out of it!

 

Big beers have more intense flavors (generally speaking), but it doesn't actually mean that it's better.

I know this is supposed to be humorous, but this is exactly what I interpret a person is actually saying when I hear them say that they are really into big beers.

 

might want to avoid this place...http://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/21974/

 

That's a true statement but in my experience if they aren't better because of those "intense" flavors...then I don't buy them again.

 

Some of his witty remarks demonstrate a decent knowledge of beer. Where are you seeing the *****s in his armor?

 

We could also take this in the Jeff Foxworthy direction: You know you're a beer snob if...

-You've ever used the word "umami" to describe a beer. Hell, if you've ever used the word "umami" period.
-You complained that your friend's Facebook photo clearly showed a beer put into an incorrectly branded glass.
-Your friends never drink your beer at parties because they don't know what the hell it is.
-You can name ten hop varieties on command.
-You've deliberately mapped a family vacation well off course to conveniently cross paths with a brewery you've always wanted to visit.
-You've let a beer sit on the counter to "warm up", while your perplexed friends shake their head and ask for a chilled glass.

 

That word works a lot better when referring to a wine, like a nice juicy and spritely New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. Most every beer nut does actually quaff, but wine drinkers think it a touch crude. It is after all a hearty start to a serious session. Quaff is a cool word but I only say it in the shower.

 

I don't think of used any of these sayings, and I thought I was a beer snob - back to Brewniversity for me.*

*I am actually a pun snob.

 

“This is one of the highest-ranked beers in the world.”
“BeerAdvocate is my homepage.”

I've said this many times. Why can't those I say it to care?

 

Yup, some out of touch things on there. Been to a lot of events, haven't heard much of that. Should be the beer snob myth book.