The Locals HINTS AND HAULS THREAD

Yes, didn't you get the Rue from @wheelzntoys?

 

OK thanks -- I'm trying to keep track of all the senders/targets and will post a summary at the end (and interim ones if people want).

 

True, but that was just one bottle. That's softcore, we're looking for the full penetration money shots.

 

I don't know, that bottle was pretty damn sexy! But yeah, I guess that was a little appetizer before the big hauls.

 

I don't know what you are planning to do with your beer bottles, but I'm just going to drink this one...

 

Bonus hint, because I can't ship until Monday now, my target will be getting a very special local from a brewery that was local to me in college, fyi, it's their highest rated BA beer

 

Sometimes you, "have to let it linger" to the end of the shipping window ....

 

According to FedEx tracking we are officially getting some **** from Texas tonight.

 

And now the end is here. The beer is at the final curtain.
My friend I'll say it clear, it's not a case, of which I'm certain...
I've sent the beer it's full, it traveled every highway...
And more, much more than this I sent beer your way...
Finally, here is your brew a UPS exemption, I did what I had to do, now your porch will need retention...
I planned each delicious course, each beer wrapped careful for the byway...
And more, much more than this I sent beer your way...
Yes, there were clues, I'm sure you knew when you bit off more than you can chew...
But through it all, you had doubt, you missed the hints, 3 strikes you're out...
I packed it all, and I stood tall and shipped beer your way...
I wrapped, I've taped and plied, I've shipped the beer of my choosing...
And now as the beer's arrived, I've found your guesses amusing...
To think I did all that, and may I say not in a shy way...
I crushed your porch oh yeah that's me, I sent beer your way...
For this is great beer, what have you got?...
It is for you, front door is the spot...
To show the things you just received ,the beer that broke your drivers knees...
Just make a post, a pic a toast, I sent beer your way...

Beer has arrived in the state of the man who's song I parodied...

 

And as I hit send...

Son: Dad there is a package outside
Me: Bring it in
<Son struggles with package>
Son: I can't it is too heavy...

Pics after dinner...

 

2 down, 1 small package left that your son can bring into the house. (2 lbs)

 

This post makes the time, effort and cost of this whole thing worth it, all by itself. Now if only I had any musical talent at all I would enjoy it even more.

 

You were actually pro-active enough to send beer to his kid??

 

Actually, once he reads the label he will think it belongs to him.

 

If it's full penetration, how would there be a money shot? xray? (that'd be awesome actually)

 

Pulling out! It's how I have no kids!

 

So guys, I might have a problem.... I went shopping to pick up my list that I put together, and other than a couple brewery-only's, I got everything I went for. Then, I kept buying. After taking a couple out that aren't really style wants, and without even getting the brewery-only's I'm still at 300 oz.... I think this box ends up being about 320oz and I still really want to add a growler.



...I definitely have a problem.

 

I have no kids by the grace of God. LOL

 

Hint#6. Since my target still hasn't figured it out. The state I am shipping to has a team that could still win the NBA championship

 

There is no warning rattle at the door, and heavy feet to stomp the porch's boards.
Safe in the dark box, I know that light slides over the packed work of a man in California.
Happy pints of craft beer are illumined. My mouth agape as I unpack the solid beer and my lungs hold.
The invader takes direction as I bring it to my counter.
It is in a chamber surrounded by tape I push through the padding of the box. I cannot scream.
A bone of excitement clogs my throat. It is upon me. It is beer time, with hops its arrogant rider.
My mind formerly quiescent in its snug encasement, is strained to look upon the rapturous bottles to let them enter into me.
I am forced outside myself to hide the light and drink joined with hope.
Through all the bright hours I cling to expectation, until hoppiness comes to reclaim me as its own.
Hops fade, the beer is going to its refrigerated space and I am thrown back into the familiar bonds of exultation.
I pour a drink lapping lasciviously into my tulip at my teku and I suck the nectar of my trade.
It forgives my liver, my hope. I am joined again in its foamy arms.


The haul:
Modern Times Beer
Pizza Port Swami's IPA
Almanac Dogpatch Strawberry
Alpine Duet
Beachwood Thrillseeker
Pliny the Elder
Belching Beaver Peanut Butter Milk Stout
Kern River Just outstanding IPA
Alpine Pure Hoppiness
Noble TBA Showers DIPA
Alpine Nelson

Wow. Just an amazing box. Truly a porch crusher. I can't wait to dig in! Big thanks to @wheelzntoys. Mia would have been proud for sure...