A Beer Poem!

Discussion in 'Beer Talk' started by Neonmann, Jan 18, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 1 of 2
  1. Neonmann

    Neonmann Initiate (0) Jan 18, 2015

    Beer Friends have Funny Names


    On the Road to Ruin I met a Backwoods Bastard.

    No, not an Arrogant Bastard but a Backwoods Bastard

    who claimed to have just come from some festival

    named: Great Big Kentucky Sausage Fest.


    It was there he also claimed to have met Bad Elf

    who was apparently a Smooth Hoperator from Hell;

    a regular Old Leghumper who also was a Kilt Lifter

    who helped Lil Helper from the Polygamy Porter clan

    get Brother Thelonius turned into a Blithering Idiot.


    And blithering the brother kept yelling “Yeastus Christ” as he

    claimed to have seen the Hop Zombie with Puppy’s Breath

    Haulin Oats after BarbaPapa who was another Hop *****

    intent on ingesting Vampire Blood with Crazy Ivan

    who was not a Dead Guy although he wore the Beard of Zeus


    in a stylish manner and drank Druid Fluid to keep it pert

    which made many claim that he Smells Like Weed to which

    he replied, “Effinguud” because he wasn’t Hop Stoopid

    like Hoptimus Prime who was diagnosed with Leaf Madness

    forcing Alpha King to promote Gandi-Bot to head bottler.


    It was at this point I asked Backwoods Bastard to stop

    as I was getting thirsty and needed a Two Hearted to revive

    to which he replied: “isn’t that like a Hibernation Ale?”

    To which I replied: “no, but its certainly not a Miller Lite!”
     
    #1 Neonmann, Jan 18, 2015
    ernieb, TylerKitchens, Shroud0fdoom and 4 others like this.
  2. Srkolodn

    Srkolodn Savant (1,050) Dec 26, 2013 New York
    Trader

    hmm
     
    #2 Srkolodn, Jan 18, 2015
    OldRickSputin likes this.
  3. RBassSFHOPit2ME

    RBassSFHOPit2ME Initiate (0) Mar 1, 2009 California

    My uncle has a green farret that he taught to do tricks on his patio.
     
    #3 RBassSFHOPit2ME, Jan 18, 2015
    TylerKitchens, Shroud0fdoom, 1000lbgrizzly and 4 others like this.
  4. Casterbridge

    Casterbridge Savant (1,055) Mar 26, 2010 Connecticut

    Poetry has a hard enough time attracting an audience. Don't kick it while it's down.
     
    #4 Casterbridge, Jan 18, 2015
    EricTKole, beerjerk666 and 5thOhio like this.
  5. zxtwou2

    zxtwou2 Initiate (0) Feb 1, 2014 Illinois

    there once was a beer from Nantucket....
     
    #5 zxtwou2, Jan 19, 2015
    fredmugs, Phocion, ArkansasTraveller and 7 others like this.
  6. DVMin98

    DVMin98 Grand Pooh-Bah (5,125) Nov 1, 2010 North Carolina
    Mod Team BA4LYFE Society Pooh-Bah Trader

    /banned
     
    #6 DVMin98, Jan 19, 2015
    fredmugs and Tripel_Threat like this.
  7. Ale_Dog

    Ale_Dog Initiate (0) May 13, 2014 New York

    "there once was a beer from Nantucket...."

    Hahahahaha!
     
    #7 Ale_Dog, Jan 19, 2015
  8. rgordon

    rgordon Pooh-Bah (2,701) Apr 26, 2012 North Carolina
    Pooh-Bah

    Years ago, a bottle of Scotch and I whittled a beautiful sword out of a plank of cedar.
     
    #8 rgordon, Jan 19, 2015
  9. 5thOhio

    5thOhio Pooh-Bah (1,571) May 13, 2007 South Carolina
    Pooh-Bah

    Some come here to sit and drink...
     
    #9 5thOhio, Jan 19, 2015
  10. raffels

    raffels Initiate (0) Dec 12, 2009 West Virginia

    Others come to smoke and ponder...

    Couldn't pass that up.
     
    #10 raffels, Jan 19, 2015
  11. rrock44

    rrock44 Pooh-Bah (2,137) Oct 27, 2009 Washington
    Society Pooh-Bah

    But it doesn't ryhme. I thought poetry rhymes.
     
    #11 rrock44, Jan 19, 2015
  12. Beef_Curtains

    Beef_Curtains Initiate (0) Oct 14, 2013 Ohio

    this reads like a mad libs game where you filed in all the blanks with beer names. Is that what you did?
     
    #12 Beef_Curtains, Jan 19, 2015
    fredmugs, spicoli00, 5thOhio and 2 others like this.
  13. cello

    cello Initiate (0) Oct 17, 2013 Pennsylvania

    Beer.
    You make me shine.
    You make me glow.
    My brain cells don't like it.
    But what the f**k do they know.
     
    #13 cello, Jan 19, 2015
    newjack, EricTKole, spicoli00 and 3 others like this.
  14. beerjerk666

    beerjerk666 Grand Pooh-Bah (5,155) Aug 22, 2010 Florida
    Pooh-Bah Trader

    I like beer
    It likes me
    Have no fear
    I can't really write poetry
     
    #14 beerjerk666, Jan 19, 2015
    spicoli00, WesMantooth and cello like this.
  15. cello

    cello Initiate (0) Oct 17, 2013 Pennsylvania

    [​IMG] Lines on Ale (1848), by Edgar Allen Poe (1809-1849)


    Fill with mingled cream and amber,
    I will drain that glass again.
    Such hilarious visions clamber
    Through the chamber of my brain.
    Quaintest thoughts, queerest fancies
    Come to life and fade away.
    What care I how time advances;
    I am drinking ale today.

    GOOGLE beer poems and you will find more. here is one for example.:sunglasses:
     
    #15 cello, Jan 19, 2015
    jRocco2021, gopens44, spicoli00 and 2 others like this.
  16. JMS1512

    JMS1512 Initiate (0) Feb 18, 2013 New Jersey

    ...err... Narragansett?
     
    #16 JMS1512, Jan 19, 2015
    1000lbgrizzly and jRocco2021 like this.
  17. JMS1512

    JMS1512 Initiate (0) Feb 18, 2013 New Jersey

    sounds like something "Ron Swanson" would do.
     
    #17 JMS1512, Jan 19, 2015
  18. WesMantooth

    WesMantooth Grand Pooh-Bah (4,844) Jan 8, 2014 Ohio
    Pooh-Bah Trader

    W....T....F....???
    I have apparently had more alcohol today than I thought.
     
    #18 WesMantooth, Jan 19, 2015
    EricTKole and RBassSFHOPit2ME like this.
  19. MiWolfman

    MiWolfman Initiate (0) Aug 31, 2013 Michigan

    Ok I like the poem. But I can't help wondering if you are recent wine convert.
     
    #19 MiWolfman, Jan 19, 2015
  20. Tripel_Threat

    Tripel_Threat Grand Pooh-Bah (4,302) Jun 29, 2014 Michigan
    Pooh-Bah Trader

    I like brew in a tulip glass
    here's a verse pulled from my ass
     
    #20 Tripel_Threat, Jan 19, 2015
    1000lbgrizzly likes this.
Page 1 of 2
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.