We need a vocab term for...

if they're on closeout and you know they're still good, does that make you a turd burglar?

 

I always call the dusty old bottles of cordials and fruit brandy that have been on the shelves, presumably since the seventies, the 'knick-knacks.'

 

I don't think either of those were too old to drink...anything under a year is perfectly fine...and depending on the style and abv, could last much, much longer. If it's something I really like, I'll drink that shyte!!! oh, and as for the words....I support "old" and "expired" equally.

 

Turd.

 

Just making sure I understand this: We're advocating "turd" as the most appropriate descriptor for beer that has been sitting on shelves for a long time, regardless of whether or not said beer is perceived to be in good condition (ex: lambic) or perceived to be in bad condition (ex: an 8 month old IPA)?

So, in the highly unlikely instance I came across a Cantillon that had been sitting on the shelf for three years, I would be well within my rights to call it a turd?

 

The Irish priest at St Mary's used to call us "Turd graders" I still smile at it

 

Now we're starting to get into a gray area between turding and aging. Personally, I wouldn't call any beer designed to age a turd, but rather the more delicate styles that should be consumed more on the fresh side.

 

So now I'm curious- what DOES it mean to be a shelf turd?
I always thought it meant, as rollom says, that it referred to any widely available beer, but I suppose it actually makes more sense to use it to signify a beer that's past it's particular prime.

 

Tumblebeers as in tumbleweed

 

I appreciate the clarity. What, then, do we call something like Black Butte XXVI, which is designed to age and is sitting on shelves by the case (in this area, anyway)?

Also, it should be pointed out that calling something a "turd" with this definition does not at all take into account the perceived worthiness of the beer. A year-old can of Heady and a year-old bottle of 90 Minute would both be considered turds.

 

In honesty, "shelf turd" is generally used with a bit of snobbish derision. I see a lot of posts that say something along the lines of "I wouldn't drink that shelf turd when it was fresh, I'm not gonna buy it with 6 months on it". Perhaps we all perceive shelf turdiness with our own bias' , what you might consider a turd, I might not?

 

Whoa whoa whoa stop the clock. For lambics and ageable beers it depends on the ambient temp of the shelf, for other beers - those affected by light, it depends on the temp and also the position of the sun. You heard me right we're balls deep in astronomy now. This is what separates turds from treasures.

You can't cellar in a furnace I SAID YOU CAN'T AGE IN A SUNLIT FURNACE IT'S A TURD CASE CLOSED. Thank you.

-Turd

 

I like what @JCV2015 said, "Museum Piece".

 

Well, it seems that the one thing we can agree on is that turds exist. The only problem is that no one really seems to know what they are...or, rather, everyone has their own definition. Different turds for different nerds, yes?

 

I am fascinated to read through the various definitions of "shelf turd" in this thread, which I'm sure was not OP's intent. To this definition, I would add that I've always thought of it as a beer that is not only always available, but that is sitting on the shelves for reasons other than it being in constant production, i.e., there is something wrong with the beer (often it's overpriced for what it is).

For example, Jai Alai, which is constantly available but usually very fresh and delicious, is not a "shelf turd," but merely a "shelf beer." On the other hand, BA Narwhal (sorry, it's good, but not $25 good), and Cascade sours are turding it up all over the place down here.

 

dankless

 

When has SN ever bottled celebration in February?

 

Haha yeah this thread made me go and look up the last time this topic came up. Nobody could agree that time either. All I would say is that regardless of personal definition, most people agree that a shelf turd could still potentially be a desirable beer. A nine month old IPA is not going to be desirable to anyone, hence (for me at least) shelf turd not being the term to use (when answering OP's q)

 

Exiles...

 

I don't shop there. I did not buy beer there. Let someone else worry about it.